PUA Forum :: WHY NICE GUYS ARE LOSERS

You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.

I just dislike the way that people confuse the concept of "nice guy" with the concept of "good person".

You can be a good guy without being a nice guy. You can be a bad boy without being a bad person.

Not being a nice guy is not the same as being an asshole, please keep that in mind.

I recently lost a relationship due to being too much of a nice guy. It started off good, I was in control.. then she started pushing and didn't want sex often.

I eventually took back control saying ok since you don't like me, I'll take you home. She started crying.. I wasn't convinced, let her cry, told her to get ready.. but she kept asking why don't you like me? I gave my reasons.. long story short, we made up.. had good sex for a bit but again the problems came back.. and eventually the faults really showed when she cheated on me to have sex with another guy.

So I've realized the nice guy syndrome will cause me to be a doormat again and again for the girls. But how do I put my sexual needs like I want a blow job and to fuck or she doesn't fit my bill in a non needy manner?

Can anyone help me with phrasing it in the right non needy way so the girl gets the message without thinking I'm actually a needy guy?

Major props if you can help.

Author:	$uave [ Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:04 am ]
Post subject:	WHY NICE GUYS ARE LOSERS
informative page http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/ ... guys.shtml

Author:	Serj [ Sun Dec 11, 2011 7:33 am ]
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There is a difference between a push over bitch nice guy and a confident does what he wants kind of nice guy.

Author:	TheNaturalPlayboy [ Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:15 am ]
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That's why nice guys always finishes last! They buy all the stuff for women that she doesn't even need, To gain love and affection, guess what? WRONG! If the chick isn't your GF yet, don't buy her presents. If you're in a relationship you give her gifts (Reward) if she has done something good in your relationship and then punish her if she has done something wrong. It's the similar thing that most guys do in a Club or Bar "Can I buy you a drink?" No, you don't have to and you can always talk to them without buying them one. This is from the article which the OP shared and this is true. Quote: You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible. Have fun boys! Cheers -TheNaturalPlayboy

Author:	mi1ooo98 [ Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:02 am ]
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There are certain reasons a a nice guy acts the way he does, it is more of an underlying problem. And as a result, just comes across as nice. There's nothing actual bad about being nice, it's more the why and how you're being nice.

Author:	Ezo [ Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:43 am ]
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I just dislike the way that people confuse the concept of "nice guy" with the concept of "good person". You can be a good guy without being a nice guy. You can be a bad boy without being a bad person. Not being a nice guy is not the same as being an asshole, please keep that in mind.

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Author:	$uave [ Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:41 pm ]
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I posted this to show why it sucks to be a "nice guy"-the term used to describe wusses. I completely agree that it has nothing to do with what kind of person you are. kudos to Ezo for pointing out differences between being a "nice guy and a good person

Author:	Tasty [ Sun Dec 11, 2011 8:40 pm ]
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Quote: I just dislike the way that people confuse the concept of "nice guy" with the concept of "good person". You can be a good guy without being a nice guy. You can be a bad boy without being a bad person. Not being a nice guy is not the same as being an asshole, please keep that in mind. i agree, its more like you want to be a "bad boy" SEXUALLY but a "good guy/nice guy" as your character or as a person deep down. Girls go crazy for that shit

Author:	skills360 [ Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:50 am ]
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Excellent!!! You do not have to be a jerk or a dick either, just be a strong guy not too needy not to accommodating, yes man...

Author:	jyaku [ Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:25 pm ]
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I recently lost a relationship due to being too much of a nice guy. It started off good, I was in control.. then she started pushing and didn't want sex often. I eventually took back control saying ok since you don't like me, I'll take you home. She started crying.. I wasn't convinced, let her cry, told her to get ready.. but she kept asking why don't you like me? I gave my reasons.. long story short, we made up.. had good sex for a bit but again the problems came back.. and eventually the faults really showed when she cheated on me to have sex with another guy. So I've realized the nice guy syndrome will cause me to be a doormat again and again for the girls. But how do I put my sexual needs like I want a blow job and to fuck or she doesn't fit my bill in a non needy manner? Can anyone help me with phrasing it in the right non needy way so the girl gets the message without thinking I'm actually a needy guy? Major props if you can help.

Author:	kasabi [ Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:43 am ]
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This is just a quirk in our use of the English language. Nice = nothing. What do we say during the funeral when some drug addict loser 'friend' dies? "Hey, he was a nice guy..." What do we say about the fat ugly chick, "Yeah, she's a nice girl. . . These days, "Nice" is the nice way to describe a loser. The reality is that the LOSER is the "Nice Guy", not the other way around. Genuinely nice guys are described as, "Considerate, open minded, adventurous, smart, fun, etc . . " - essentially all the other positive adjectives that actually mean something.

Author:	Animal227 [ Fri Dec 16, 2011 9:33 am ]
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Hmmm. There's a Nice Guy, and there's a nice guy. The Nice Guy, is the pushover who befriends girls when he actually wants to sleep with them, doesn't have any balls of his own, etc etc, while a nice guy is just a guy who is nice. Like, cares about other people but also has basic self respect. I think the problem with over-stressing the problem with Nice Guys is that it gives people the impression that they have to be a total asshole to get with a girl, which isn't exactly true.

Author:	Animal227 [ Fri Dec 16, 2011 9:36 am ]
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Quote: I recently lost a relationship due to being too much of a nice guy. It started off good, I was in control.. then she started pushing and didn't want sex often. I eventually took back control saying ok since you don't like me, I'll take you home. She started crying.. I wasn't convinced, let her cry, told her to get ready.. but she kept asking why don't you like me? I gave my reasons.. long story short, we made up.. had good sex for a bit but again the problems came back.. and eventually the faults really showed when she cheated on me to have sex with another guy. So I've realized the nice guy syndrome will cause me to be a doormat again and again for the girls. But how do I put my sexual needs like I want a blow job and to fuck or she doesn't fit my bill in a non needy manner? Can anyone help me with phrasing it in the right non needy way so the girl gets the message without thinking I'm actually a needy guy? Major props if you can help. There's a big difference between asking for something you want and being needy. The main difference is how you react when you're faced with the prospect of not getting it. Being needy means getting all frustrated, begging, guilt tripping, that sort of thing when she says "no". Being confident about it is either saying "okay" and dropping the issue, or pushing the issue ever so slightly. If you REALLY want a blowjob then and there, try a freeze out.

Author:	Majestyc [ Sun Dec 18, 2011 9:08 am ]
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Very good read, thanks for sharing.

Author:	Lodewijkp [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 5:25 pm ]
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it's just 10000 times better to be a total dick instead of a nice guy... if you are a nice guy.. just be a dick

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Author:	calif9876 [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:39 pm ]
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Quote: I recently lost a relationship due to being too much of a nice guy. It started off good, I was in control.. then she started pushing and didn't want sex often. I eventually took back control saying ok since you don't like me, I'll take you home. She started crying.. I wasn't convinced, let her cry, told her to get ready.. but she kept asking why don't you like me? I gave my reasons.. long story short, we made up.. had good sex for a bit but again the problems came back.. and eventually the faults really showed when she cheated on me to have sex with another guy. So I've realized the nice guy syndrome will cause me to be a doormat again and again for the girls. But how do I put my sexual needs like I want a blow job and to fuck or she doesn't fit my bill in a non needy manner? Can anyone help me with phrasing it in the right non needy way so the girl gets the message without thinking I'm actually a needy guy? Major props if you can help. At least apply the same level of judgement to women that you would to yourself. A woman who "cheats" on you, if you were actually in a relationship, is GARBAGE. Who the fuck cares about her anymore. Have enough respect for yourself to ditch her ass and find a "nice girl" (not the loser nice), i.e. a woman who would not cheat on who she is with because she respects HERSELF enough not to be a disgusting slut, and would at least break up with you first.