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Being a Gentleman - The New Rules
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Author:  Don Draper [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Being a Gentleman - The New Rules
Gentleman.

gent·le·man/ˈjentlmən/

Noun:

1. A chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.
2. A man of good social position, esp. one of wealth and leisure.

There are men. And there are gentlemen.

21st century has arrived. People are armed with smartphones: tweeting, facebooking, Googling and IMing. But, technology is not the only thing that's changed. People have too.

While in the past, the men young boys looked up to where those who had mastered their manhood, today, it's all about overgrown boys who are obsessed with fast food, body building, video games and sex.

Now, I am not going to launch into a rant about retro-masculinity here. This post is for laying down a set of "rules", more like a guide, to etiquette, foodiquette, jobiquette,sextiquette,fleshiquette and even facebookiquette.

I'll be updating one rule a day. If you feel like you can add anything please go ahead and do so. However, limit yourself to a post a day. I would request you to maintain the number too. So, as to keep a count of our rules. Who knows? This might even become a book some day? :wink:

Also, I do understand that this topic isn't for everyone. And I'm willing to listen to criticism but please PM me your views, don't spoil this thread. If you don't agree with my brand of rules here, please find another topic which will give you what you're looking for.

Thank you.

Like a wise man once told me, "Strive to be excellent. And be humble about your faults."

- Don
Author:  Don Draper [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
RULE 1. Always speak when spoken to.

Too many men don't acknowledge too many people, even when the other person tries to speak to them. Not this may be due to a multitude of reasons, but the fact is that if some person is making an effort on his/her part to engage you in a conversation, the least you can do is to acknowledge that effort and spend some time talking with them. Just because someone is "not cool enough" or "weird" doesn't mean he/she isn't worth talking with. Social images often construe people in a lot of wrong ways.

So, next time that guy who your friends call a weirdo, or that old man who always talks about his days gone by, tries to talk to you. Acknowledge them, spend a moment and be on your way. If nothing else, you'll put a smile on their faces. And for a gentleman, that should be enough.
Author:  870 [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
#2 - Dress like you mean it.

Kids today dress like the entire world is their bedroom: neon Crocs, pajama pants, Snuggies ... it's enough to send even the least sartorially-inclined among us into a diabetic coma. If you want to be a gentleman, you need to look the part, and that means dressing in a way that conveys respect for those you spend your time around, not throwing together whatever half-clean outfit you can scrape off the bedroom floor.

Put plainly, there is a reason people don suits for job interviews and wear their "Sunday best" to church. It's because a certain level of decorum and elegance speaks volumes about the person displaying them, and everything it says is good.

Your boy,
870
Author:  PUA Student [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
RULE 3. Don't be a hunchback of Notre Dam.

Your a gentlemen, stand up tall, shoulders back and walk with pride. Observe your surroundings.
Your not only making yourself look taller, but it does wonders when other people look at you in terms of confidence. Not to mention what correct posture does for you in the long term in positive health benefits.

Next time you've got your ipod in waddling along the street, think posture! Be proud of your gentlemanly status in life, raise your head and stand tall.
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
#4 ... do not make excuses and say what is on your mind.. if you don't want to do something then do not do it. express how you feel in a confident and assertive way , nobody owns you.

#5 do not judge people , if you are really confident you wouldn't be judging people .. only insecure people and people who are anxious judge other people or judge change itself.

#6 Look people in the eye... a man never avoids conflict in conversation or body language.

#7 take responsiblity for your life , you are responsible for your own experience.. nobody can make you feel like shit - you shouldn't care - it's your perspective.

#8 accept everything the way it is... woman are woman and men are men, your life is what it is right now.. you cannot change if you do not accept things the way they are

#9 focus on important shit only...gentlemen do not focus on useless shit , they rather take descisions to learn from it and move on.

#10 stay cool when eveyones going insane... being in control means you are controlling yourself .. you shouldn't be out of control when it comes to certain situations.. a man takes responsibility and knows his potential.

#11 a gentlemen has a internal frame of reference and his own moral compas designed to go after win-win situations

#12 a man doesn't get attached or obsessed about results .. he rather place himself in enviroments where succes is possible... making succes inevitable.

#13 a man does not fear death, the death lies in giving up who you really are.
Author:  Brawndo [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
#6 - visit www.artofmanliness.com daily since this is a direct correlation to that site :0
Author:  Ezo [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
#15 You cannot afford pride. Replace the childish notion of pride which is easily hurt and needs protecting with self awareness. Being self aware and learning to accept that you too have limitations and that they are something you are working on rather than trying to hide will keep you comfortable in almost any situation.
Author:  Don Draper [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
#6 - visit www.artofmanliness.com daily since this is a direct correlation to that site :0
Firstly, even if this is a "direct correlation", as you put it, this is a topic for this forum and not everyone is aware of the AoM.com

Secondly, I did mention that please follow the numbering sequence properly. Please correct that.

Not everyone will go on to a website everyday just to look up at the new rule that's doing the rounds. And as much as I love Brett and Kate McKay, they still are quite firmly rooted in the old fashioned (which personally, I have no problem with. However, this is a public forum). This is an attempt at "modernizing" things a bit more. If you see my point.

Either way, if you'll word it a bit better I am sure it should be a good "pointer", if not a rule.

Thank you.

- Don
Author:  TheNaturalPlayboy [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
#16 Manners and Class.


As we all know women love a man that has manners and class. So open doors for her and pull out the chair at the restaurant. Offer up your arm when she gets out of the car. These things may seems old fashioned but good manners and class will always be timeless.




-TheNaturalPlayboy
Author:  A Silent Way [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 7:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
#17; Maintain your own standards

Don't bow to others concerning matters of taste or ethics because it may seem advantageous to fit in.
Set yourself your own high standards, and maintain them at all times.
Author:  Brawndo [ Fri Nov 25, 2011 7:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
I did have it numbered correctly at 6 right after Lodewijkp. As you can see, he edited his post 3 times so he probably stopped at 6, then went back and kept adding his numbers.
Author:  Don Draper [ Sat Nov 26, 2011 9:33 am ]
Post subject: 
#18. You can wear your sunglasses indoors and at night, but only if you are Stevie Wonder

The media today is awash with men wearing sunglasses at night trying to put on a "hip " and "cool" front. I'd say they were brainwashed by Corey Hart. But, this isn't for those men who have sensitivity problems. This is about those guys who think that using a wrong accessory will accentuate their physical appearance.

A Gentleman is knowledgeable about the use and misuse of fashion accessories. He looks at them from the point of their utility in the situation, rather than their "cool quotient".

And finally, this phenomenon was big enough for even urban dictionary to mention it..

Douche Bag

Brightly colored polo shirts (bonus points with a popped collar) usually with some hippy necklace, or a cross even though they only use religion to socialize with pseudochristian bimbos. Wearing wifebeaters in public, sunglasses at night, stupid baseball caps with the sticker still on it, and excessively using the word bro.
Author:  Don Draper [ Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:08 am ]
Post subject: 
#19. Don't break up with your girlfriend by SMS or Facebook.

Frankly speaking, the number of men doing this today is alarming. Status messages like "It's ova, bitch!!" and "Dumped yo ass!!" have become commonplace. A gentleman knows that a real relationship deserves the respect even in the end, as much as it did in the beginning or the in-between phase. Not only is virtual breaking up a joke, it is also very disreputable. It just goes to show that as a man you do not value your relationships the way they are supposed to be valued.

The only time you can lay it online is if you've had an online relationship all throughout. Else, as a gentleman you need to do it the way it is to be done. In person.
Author:  Txacoli [ Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
#20. Don't brag.

A gentlemen doesn't brag, whether it is about a women he bed, about his wealth and power or about anything. Bragging is for people who have no accomplishments.
Author:  Shyler [ Sun Nov 27, 2011 4:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
#21: Be humble, but confidently

This is one from 60's, yet so true. Don't be too proud and don't argue too much. Don't take yourself too serious. Dare to admit your mistakes and weaknesses as well as your strenghts, dare to apologize. Treat everyone with respect. However, keep your cool and confidence, feel comfortable in it, and do not waste too much words. Be genuine. The gentleman is a humble, genuine and a confident man. The confidence will empower the humbleness, which makes the gentleman look realy attractive.
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