PUA Forum :: Community Bullshit #1: Affirmations

I see what you mean but I disagree.

This is a typical post from someone who has grasped a lot of of PUA theory and gotten good at it. But failed to understand that different people have different problems. I am sure you mean well but please stop rain shit down on stuff that can actually help the guys who are already ankle deep in shit.

Affirmations are not there to build up new lies about yourself even though they are often used in that way. Affirmations are there to pick you up from that rock bottom you find yourself at when your life sucks worse than a cheerleader on prom night. When you think that you are freaking worthless... That is when affirmations can help you, not help you become an excellent PUA but help you up to the point where you can dare do all those other things you suggest. Because, face it, it is easy to say hit the gym and get new clothes and go to a club. Yes, for most of us it is easy, but not for everyone. For some people it is taking matters into your own hands and if you fail it will be your own fault, you cannot blame anyone else. And many people dont dare face that responsibility. So they need to build up enough confidence to do just that, which is where the affirmations come in. It is like prozac or something. Not fixing the problem but helping you take action.

The real solutions come later when someone is strong enough to want to truly change. You cannot help anyone who isnt ready to take some pain in order to change his destiny. He just isnt ready for it yet.

Once you get past that part and realize that you actually have some kind of value, you can drop those affirmations and do stuff for real.

Author:	Warped Mindless [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:47 am ]
Post subject:	Community Bullshit #1: Affirmations
Meet Joe: Joe is an average looking nerd that just turned 20. Joe, like many people he knows, doesn't have much experience with women. As a matter of fact, Joe doesn't have a whole lot of experience with being social with men or women. One day poor Joe wakes up and realizes he has a problem and that he has had enough. Being the nerd (no hate) that he is, Joe decided to google a popular phrase; "How to pick up women." Joe squeals with delight as about 103,000,000 results load in only 0.12 seconds. "Holy shit" Joe though, "I'm going to be a pimp!" Our lovable nerd stumbles onto a book titled, "Become a super Pimp in only 5 minutes a day!" Joe considered himself lucky for the book was only 37 dollars are available immediately by download! Joe buys, downloads, and reads the book. The next morning Joe wakes up, walks over to the mirror and starts doing what he was told to do from the book. "I'm am an awesome person." "Women love to be around me." "I am comfortable expressing my sexuality." What Joe learns is that these phrases are called "Affirmations." Theory has it that by looking at yourself in a mirror while repeating these things multiple times, many week and often months in a row every single day, that these things will come true. BULLSHIT Meet Ron: Ron is an average looking nerd that just turned 20. Ron, like many people he knows, doesn't have much experience with women. As a matter of fact, Ron doesn't have a whole lot of experience with being social with men or women. One day poor Ron wakes up and realizes he has a problem and that he has had enough. Being the nerd (no hate) that he is, Ron decided to google a popular phrase; "How to pick up women." Sound similar? Read on to see what the difference between our two protagonist are... Ron comes upon a book titled, "A Gimmick free guide to naturally seducing women." The book seemed a bit pricey Ron thought but hey, at least its available immediately by download. Ron buys, downloads, and reads the book. The next morning he wakes up and follows the books advice. That day he: - Joins a gym - Goes clothes shopping - Joins a social group on meetup.com That night he: - Goes to a club. Ron remembers what the book told him about owning his true personality instead of trying to "fake it till you make it." He remembers that he should open a girl that he finds attractive and that he shouldn't be afraid to express his sexuality. As the night goes on, Ron meets a lot of cool men and women. They tell him things like... "You're and awesome person!" "I LOVE to be around you!" As Ron continues to go out he gets comfortable expressing his sexuality to the point where its natural and normal. Joe, on the other hand, is still mostly relying on his affirmations. Joe gets discouraged because he still feels the same way he did before reading the book. Still uncool, unawesome, and afraid to express his sexuality. -------------------------------- Your beliefs and perceptions will chance with reference experiences, not by repeating silly phrases in front of the mirror. Affirmations are Bullshit.

Author:	Consistence [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:54 am ]
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Amen.

Author:	Stand Up [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:04 am ]
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On the motherfucking money with this one!

Author:	Stand Up [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:05 am ]
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let's go through all the "RULES" and myths 1 by 1 and trash them all. The only rule is, there are no other rules.

Author:	$uave [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:16 pm ]
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that's right, if you're telling yourself I'm awesome its probably because you already don't think so. Telling that to yourself because some book said so, probably won't convince you. If other people tell you that, that's a lot more effective. Look at Tyler Durden and Zan Perrion. They're pretty good at motivating people.

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Community Bullshit #1: Affirmations https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=119765	Page 1 of 2

Author:	SmoothOp [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:46 pm ]
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Completely understand what you mean in the post, pro-actively trying to improve yourself trumps passive actions like affrimations. BUT it's not bullshit. Lots of guys on here are way under developed mentally to deal with being really social and come to the internet to learn. They can't handle going out and experimenting. These kinds of self image excercises(affrimations, visualizing, writing out goals) will give them the confidence to intially take those first steps to be pro-active in changing there lives. That kind of shit works!! Health industry uses it, sport indusrty uses it, sales industry uses it, extremely successful people have done it naturally all there lives. It's not a bad thing to practice and it has benefits! Just wanted to throw that out there. Good post though, sends right message. And Some people will ONLY work on these mental excercises, but those people are huge vaginas and will never succeed. Your Ron seems to be confident from the get go, your Joe most likely resembles the personalities of 75% of people on this forum.

Author:	Ezo [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 1:34 pm ]
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I see what you mean but I disagree. This is a typical post from someone who has grasped a lot of of PUA theory and gotten good at it. But failed to understand that different people have different problems. I am sure you mean well but please stop rain shit down on stuff that can actually help the guys who are already ankle deep in shit. Affirmations are not there to build up new lies about yourself even though they are often used in that way. Affirmations are there to pick you up from that rock bottom you find yourself at when your life sucks worse than a cheerleader on prom night. When you think that you are freaking worthless... That is when affirmations can help you, not help you become an excellent PUA but help you up to the point where you can dare do all those other things you suggest. Because, face it, it is easy to say hit the gym and get new clothes and go to a club. Yes, for most of us it is easy, but not for everyone. For some people it is taking matters into your own hands and if you fail it will be your own fault, you cannot blame anyone else. And many people dont dare face that responsibility. So they need to build up enough confidence to do just that, which is where the affirmations come in. It is like prozac or something. Not fixing the problem but helping you take action. The real solutions come later when someone is strong enough to want to truly change. You cannot help anyone who isnt ready to take some pain in order to change his destiny. He just isnt ready for it yet. Once you get past that part and realize that you actually have some kind of value, you can drop those affirmations and do stuff for real.

Author:	Deadeyexx [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 4:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Community Bullshit #1: Affirmations
Quote: Ron buys, downloads, and reads the book. The next morning he wakes up and follows the books advice. That day he: - Joins a gym - Goes clothes shopping - Joins a social group on meetup.com That night he: - Goes to a club. Ron remembers what the book told him about owning his true personality instead of trying to "fake it till you make it." He remembers that he should open a girl that he finds attractive and that he shouldn't be afraid to express his sexuality. As the night goes on, Ron meets a lot of cool men and women. They tell him things like... "You're and awesome person!" "I LOVE to be around you!" That's quite an impressive leap to make in a single day. PUA material wouldn't exist if it were that easy. You're forgetting that these nerdy guys are often years behind in thier social development. It will take them many nights out and countless rejections before they begin to become smooth enough, for long enough to get positive reactions like that. This process can be quite discouraging and seems like it will never end. Those affirmations are important for keeping forward momentum.

Author:	Shyler [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:00 pm ]
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Quote: I see what you mean but I disagree. This is a typical post from someone who has grasped a lot of of PUA theory and gotten good at it. But failed to understand that different people have different problems. I am sure you mean well but please stop rain shit down on stuff that can actually help the guys who are already ankle deep in shit. Affirmations are not there to build up new lies about yourself even though they are often used in that way. Affirmations are there to pick you up from that rock bottom you find yourself at when your life sucks worse than a cheerleader on prom night. When you think that you are freaking worthless... That is when affirmations can help you, not help you become an excellent PUA but help you up to the point where you can dare do all those other things you suggest. Because, face it, it is easy to say hit the gym and get new clothes and go to a club. Yes, for most of us it is easy, but not for everyone. For some people it is taking matters into your own hands and if you fail it will be your own fault, you cannot blame anyone else. And many people dont dare face that responsibility. So they need to build up enough confidence to do just that, which is where the affirmations come in. It is like prozac or something. Not fixing the problem but helping you take action. The real solutions come later when someone is strong enough to want to truly change. You cannot help anyone who isnt ready to take some pain in order to change his destiny. He just isnt ready for it yet. Once you get past that part and realize that you actually have some kind of value, you can drop those affirmations and do stuff for real. Well said.

Author:	Cornishman [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:05 pm ]
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i think affirmations work not in the sense people say they do though. By reminding yourself what personality/person you want to be each day, it helps you from losing focus. By reminding yourself to be dominant, each day you'll act dominant more often as its drilled in your head. It has to be followed by action of course. Simply saying you're dominant doesnt make it so.

Author:	Warped Mindless [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 8:46 pm ]
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Community Bullshit #1: Affirmations Pt. 2 With every "Bullshit" article I do I will attempt to find some sort of scientific evidence to go along with it For this article, meet Elaine Perunovic who has a degree in Psychology from the University of New Brunswick. Elaine set out to see what truth, if any, there are to the bold claims made by people who support the practice of affirmations. A later study buy Elaine and two other experts in the field of Psychology found the following: 1) Affirmations give a temporary boost in confidence to people who already have a high amount of self esteem. 2) For people with average or low self esteem, affirmations actually made them feel unconfident and in some cases even depressed. Its pretty obvious that most people who get into this community have low self esteem. However, there is good news! If you really feel like you must stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself there is something that can help... "Directed Questions" "What have a done today to help me get to where I want to go?" "How can I help myself become comfortable expressing my sexuality" You get the point. These questions are a great alternative to affirmations as they offer self review and reflection. As always, going out and actually meeting women will help you more than anything. Source: 'Positive Self Statements: Power for some, Peril for others."

Author:	Ezo [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:43 pm ]
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Hmm that is interesting...

Author:	detox75 [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 1:32 am ]
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These ideas arnt even close to mutually exclusive so this binary argument of this is good this is bad is silly. Ezo is right Balance learning, practicing, doing The appeal to authority from the woman at some no name university militates you case about as well as Al Gore does convincing me global warming is real.

Author:	lolaskate [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:03 am ]
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I'm assuming affirmations are just, telling yourself your good, in order to feel good? If it is I agree and think its bullshit. It's a lot easier to feel good about yourself, when you actually feel good about yourself. No point tricking your brain into thinking otherwise. I mean, lets say your self conscious about your looks, your fat and have a really bad hair cut. Telling yourself that you are good looking, your fit and you have a sick hair cut is the same thing as lying to yourself. But if you just get off your ass, fix all that, then you can genuinely feel good about yourself plus you also appear more attractive.

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Author:	Warped Mindless [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 4:02 am ]
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Quote: the OP is totally wrong because Affirmations do work. I have scientific evidence backing my claims, feel free to post some counter evidence if you wish. Quote: first of all the format of the affirmations is not "i am confident" but "i am becoming more and more confident" its the right way. Now how affirmations help? 1. Whenever you make a descision, you need to confidence, will power and self assurity to do that. And affirmations(reminding what you are going to be) help a lot as they give you a confidence boost and they make your will power stronger. According to the study and my own personal experiance way back when I first got into the community and did affirmations, when a low self esteem person says something along the lines of: "I am becoming more and more confident every day" Their negative self talk says back to them; "Oh really? Who ya trying to fool?" and other such negative things. Thats why Elaine found that when a low self esteem person does affirmations they become more depressed.