First Time Hooking Up In China



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2015 7:11 am 
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Right after high school, I got a call from this long lost relative who lives in China. I had only seen her one in my life prior to that, so it was pretty weird when I started Skyping her, especially right after I graduated. Long story short, I ended up going to live in China for two years, by myself, in a rural Chinese southern town in the middle of no-where, without knowing the language.

The first bar I ever went to, I was instantly swarmed with Chinese girls. I mean so god damn many that I couldn't even walk to the bar to order a drink without forcefully pushing my way through. This actually, I soon found out, didn't matter, because even all the Chinese guys in the bar wanted to buy me shots, and were shoving beer in my face, so buying anything was off the table for me (Chinese love a good white guy in a rural town). I realized very quickly, that picking one girl out of the group, between a shit ton of girls and guys wanting to talk to me, was going to be really difficult.

Luckily for me, when I walked out of the bar after I had gotten worn out by my instant celebrity status, a girl approached me who knew more English than any of the others. Granted, she still barely spoke a word, but it was just enough for us to share some laughs and just enough for her to invite me to some late night, post-bar, food. Even luckier, she said she learned most of her English from doing modeling in Shanghai and having foreign friends. After dinner, in which we burned a bunch of small fish to death in a boiling pot of water and ate them still twitching, we went back to my place.

It was all pretty normal as we walked in the door. I turned on a dvd that I had claimed was one of my favorite American movies she HAD to see. Obviously, the movie didn't mean shit, because within seconds we were making out on my couch, clothes coming off, the basics. We went upstairs and it began getting to that time so I pulled out a condom. To my surprise, she shook her head repeatedly and kept saying "no." I didn't completely understand, I thought maybe she was allergic to the latex or something, but she kept getting more passionate, so once again, I pulled out the condom. Once again she said no, and actually grabbed the condom and threw it away. Although it took nearly everything I had, I stopped and asked her why she kept throwing away the damn condom...I even looked up the word allergy in my translator to see.

She grabbed my translator and looked up the word "baby."

I was pretty drunk when I saw it, and to add to it, I was pretty out of it from eating a pile of things that I had never seen before in my life--but seeing the word "baby" freaked me out to say the least. Still to this day I have no idea if that's actually what she meant, and if she wanted to have my child, but i'll never find out because I made her leave. Still to this day every time I say 离开 (li kai) or leave...I think of the the first crazy ass model and my first night at the bars in that southern Chinese city.

I was going to tell you about the girl who took a shit in the middle of the road, but it's something I have to build up to.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2015 2:44 pm 
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Ah ah... awesome story bro! Quite an adventure eh!
I bet you gonna have a lot of fun there!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2015 3:10 pm 
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You could be banged her and pulled out at the end! anything better than blue balls. ;)

Even if you did give her your spunk paste, it is pretty hard to get pregnant.

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PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 6:51 am 
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I am not white at all, but I'll have to go to China in order to confirm your theory and see if it works with Latinos like me, bro. Haha


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