Day 81: 26th April 2014
I am the most dumbest guy on this planet...

Goal:
- It's kingsday, so go for the girls you like and just go for it.

Field report+:

I am the dumbest guy on this planet, I cannot believe my dissappointment this time.

I am just gonna skip towards the important part. It was Kingsday in the Netherlands and around 12 pm almost everywhere in the city people were leaving. We were with a group of 6 (2 girls, 4 guys) and 1 of our friends managed to get us into a closed party at his student fraternity. It was a big kind of bunker where there were about 100 people partying, especially (drunk!) British girls. The whole day I had a bad streak of approaches and I didn't feel like it that night anymore either. Nevertheless I still gave it a try. It wasn't until at some point I was sitting outside with some friends (it was around 2-3 am I believe) that I noticed a girl dressed as a tiger (or cat) walked outside, looking at some guy who was sleeping at the parking lot and then looking at me. I gestured that I dind't know him but that she should come towards me, which she did. She was British as well and had some drinks.

She sat opposite of me, and we got into talking. Soon I stood up and sat next to her. The chatting went good so I kino'ed her by putting my hand on her left shoulder (I was sitting on the right of her) and kept talking. She and I had a lot to talk about culture, adulthood, differences between the Netherlands and Britain. She could even speak French and teased me with it. Everything went well and it didn't take too long when we made out with each other. Suddenly a teammate who spoke Dutch came up to me and said: "Hey, you do know that she and her friend (who happened to stand outside at that moment) have a boyfriend right?" She hadn't told me so I said no I do not. Her: "Well she's got something written on her tits, just ask her. But know what you're dealing with!" It felt like a warning but I ignored it. I kept talking with her and I'm 100% sure she liked me. We made out one more time when she looked me deep into my eyes.

After half an hour the same teammate came back, telling me the whole story over again. I said that she still hadn't told me. During that time the girl was sitting next to me, but she couldn't understand anything we told about. She also said: "I'm back in 2 minutes" when the teammate and I were talking and I thought I'd lost her. Until actually she did come back and I almost suprised myself when I noticed her sitting next to me bc. I hadn't noticed her sitting back next to me. When the teammate left, the girl said to me: "I only understood 1 word out of that". I told her only about the thing what was written on her tits and she showed me, pulling her shirt down. She wasn't wearing a bra. I said something like: "I love Jeremy" which might have actually been her boyfriend. My god I can feel the shame came upon me when typing this...

Around 3:30 am she told she had to go because she had to get up at 8:00 am. Her friends were already gone so she said: "Alright, we've got 3 options here, 1: I go back to your place 2: We separate and never see each other again or 3: You come back with me". 1 wasn't a good option bc. I was sleeping at an air mattress. 2 would be to say goodbye already so I took 3 and walked back to her student college center. She was a korfball tournament player and had a game the next day. During the walk back we held hands and I got sooooo nervous. I recall a moment where my body was shaking so hard because I could not believe I was walking with like thé hottest girl I've ever had. On the way we came upon some of her teammates so I introduced myself and talked with them as well.

At the end on the front doorstep I noticed 2 guys of the center themselves sitting behind a desk, looking at the people coming in. This is where the excuses in my head came up: "You can't f*ck this girl in there", "You forgot your condom" , "Everyone would watch you two", all these crazy negative voices in my head. So I stopped walking and said: "Hey it was nice meeting you, but I have to go back." She said: "Well it was nice meeting you (no change of voicetone, still polite)" and we kissed each other goodbye. After the final kiss and hug she said: "I had a fun time with you, make sure you wipe your face" I had some black on me from her tiger make-up. When I walked back her last words to me were: "You're a good kisser (wink ).." THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY WAKE UP CALL. But dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb me just walked back to the party, finding out that my friends already took a cab home, and I were left alone to walk bc. my other friend who invited us had to stay till the end of the party bc. of his fraternity responsibilities. I have never ended a night more shamefull....

It's been 3 days ago, but there has not been a single hour yet that I feel dumb, ashamed and stupid about the biggest mistake in my journey... The most hottest girl I've ever met wanted me to come to her and all I did was walk there, and leave her unsatisfied....
What the F*CK am I DOING!?!?!?

What have I learnt today?
- Allthough I ended it badly, the positive thing about this encounter is that it convinced me that I can even get solid 9's and 10's if I do it right.
- Never will I ever forget my condoms again!
- This has been the biggest mistake in ALL my JOURNEY SO FAR!
- I will never forget the stupid me of 26 april 2014.

Wallie