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RAFC Dude going PUA Star
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=97575		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  RAFC Dude [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 2:20 am ]
Post subject:  RAFC Dude going PUA Star
Hi guys, I’ve been lurking on the forums here for quite a while. I discovered pick-up quite a while ago. I’ve improved during this time, even lost my virginity. But I feel like I’ve been slacking, I need to make additional progress.

There are many things I want to improve on:

- Gain confidence. This is the most important one.
- Become more social. This is connected to the first. I don’t consider myself as lonely, but I have difficulties knowing what to say to people I don’t/barely know. I also want to expand my social circle, I have too few female friends.
- Keeping myself motivated. I’m too much of a keyboard jockey. While I’m out a lot with my friends, I’m having fun (which isn’t a bad thing, having fun will ALWAYS be my primary goal), but I’m not approaching anyone. This also applies to other areas, like school.
- Get a girlfriend. Why am I not listing this as number one? Well it’s the thing I probably want most, but I want to develop my life first. Get a bigger social circle and get more female friends, gain confidence, …

These are all long term goals. In the short term I want to accomplish the following:

Anxiety

I have three different levels of anxiety.

Approach anxiety
The typical anxiety we all know. Not much other to tell about it. I’ll try to solve this by randomly talking to strangers. I don’t think I’m ready to start approaching people in night clubs yet.

Scared of escalation
I have no problems in interacting with women, touching etc. as long as it stays friendly. However, when things clearly escalate to a more than friendly level, my mind freezes. If a girl starts dancing near me, I won’t dance with her. I feel really uncomfortable and actually want to go away from her. I know I could’ve closed at least two girls (who were obviously into me) if I didn’t chicken out. And let’s not forget the opportunities I missed with random girls!

Any tips on how to get over this? It’s the biggest issue I have with girls. I know I’m attractive, pretty good looking and a good body. But that’s nothing when I get nervous once they clearly want to kiss me.

How did I close previous times? Well I knew the girls quite a bit and they were confident enough to initiate things themselves.

Not knowing what to say against strangers
Situational confidence is very familiar to me. Around my friends, I feel comfortable, I’m having fun, blabla. But when I’m alone, I’m actually quite shy. If I meet people, I have no idea what to say. My mind goes blank. If I do say something or if people say something to me, my reaction is your typical beta reaction. If my friends come in my confidence goes sky high. How can I improve my core confidence?

To improve, I’m going to do some small talk to strangers, making myself comfortable talking against people I don’t know. Hopefully the conversations will get longer and longer.

Health

I eat quite healthy, I only need to eat more fruit and cut back on the fried food now and then. Cutting alcohol can’t really help because I only drink when I go out. I could drink a bit more water instead of alcohol/soda. I’m not fat at all so I’m lucky I don’t have to lose weight.

I’m already visiting the gym and seeing quite some results. I’m far from big, but people don’t call me skinny anymore all the time. Unfortunately due to some issues I can’t do a lot of cardio.

Sleep is also an issue during school. I’m a night person, so getting up and going to sleep early is hard for me. As it’s summer now I can’t work on this but I’m going to aim for 7.5 hours a sleep every day.

Alright, that’s it for now. Any comments are welcome, no I’d love them! Tips, questions, just let me know!
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