PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Committing to Change (AFC Andre's Journal)
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=95084		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Andre TTI [ Sat Jul 02, 2011 6:21 am ]
Post subject:  Committing to Change (AFC Andre's Journal)
I'm AFC Andre, far from the person I want to be, and in college. It's supposed to be the best time of my life... but it's not. I'm not very social, flirty, confident, or Alpha-ey in college. I moved from out-of-state and have few friends. To sum it up, I hate my situation.

"I want to change."

I've thought that so many times, yet it rarely translates into action. I hype myself up for a day, or a couple of days, and I manage to go push myself and try to do it. I guess that's why I've managed to get up to the Stylelife Challenge Day 4, and approach a few people, but I haven't made much progress. Meaning, I fall right back to square one afterwards. And, that was all I could do, in a time span of around 2-3 years.

Most of it, I spent thinking how my life would be. If I could do this or that, I would be much happier with myself. I would accept myself more.
I think that my intentions are misplaced. I also think that's an excuse not to challenge myself.

Recently, I had the chance to be with a girl that I liked ALOT. But, as an AFC, I messed up my chances. Basically, it was because I was too much of a pussy and too afraid.

I really regret it.

But that's also what is pushing me to commit to this challenge. And... why I decided to start this journal.
I want to commit to pushing myself instead of sitting around everyday regretting my life or dreaming of how my life could be.
Author:  Verbal Seduction [ Sat Jul 02, 2011 7:53 am ]
Post subject: 
you gotta have the courage to do it
remember courage leads to confidence
Author:  RitualSlave [ Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:14 am ]
Post subject: 
I love this. I want to commit, too. I want to post here every day.

This is awesome, and I really relate with this commitment (thought I've done enough seminars to deal with the inner game for the most part). I need to whip my competence into shape as many have done before us, and I feel that you can, too.

Keep it real, brotha.

Surreptitious
Author:  Andre TTI [ Sun Jul 03, 2011 1:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Day 1:
I've been in a rut lately. And I know that in order for me to get anywhere, I'm going to need momentum.
So first, I need to get out of the house. I'm reading up on 60 YOC's opening article and I'm trying to change my mindset on opening women.

My Goals:
Approaching Women
Relabeling fear as excitement

My Plan:
Map out some places I would want to go and just walk.
Try to approach early, whether it fails or not. (The only thing matters is that I approached.)
Relax.
Approach women indirectly.
Approach women indirectly and switch to being direct.

What happened:

- I drove to downtown and as soon as I found a parking I talked to the first person I saw. It ended up being a guy, and I asked him if there were any men's clothing stores around here. He said there's not really any good clothing stores around here. I was too scared to continue the conversation.
- At a stoplight, I talked to a HB4 about anything clothing stores. She was trying to keep the conversation but I kept try to eject. I must have been scared of the awkwardness.
- Talked to a guy in Starbucks. He was a martial artist about to do a Taekwondo show. Said I should come.
- Was walking down the street and I saw a HB6. Used three-second rule to ask her about any stores around here. Conversation wasn't going anywhere.
- I went to the library, and small-talked to some people in the elevator of the library. Talked to the old dude about how he doesn't go to the library much.
- Asked a couple in the elevator what language they were speaking. Awkward...
- Asked a guy on the street for directions.

I went to the mall afterwards. Told myself I would approach the first person and ask about a clothing store, but then thought to myself
that the question was stupid. I ended up walking around the mall for 2 hours not doing shit.

Most people are friendly to talk to. I've gotten mostly positive reactions from approaching people. I also need to stop ejecting so early
because of fear of awkwardness. Overall, positive experience, except for some guys mugging me in the mall.
Author:  Andre TTI [ Sun Jul 03, 2011 1:33 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
you gotta have the courage to do it
remember courage leads to confidence
Quote:
I love this. I want to commit, too. I want to post here every day.

This is awesome, and I really relate with this commitment (thought I've done enough seminars to deal with the inner game for the most part). I need to whip my competence into shape as many have done before us, and I feel that you can, too.

Keep it real, brotha.

Surreptitious
@Surreptitious & Verbal Seduction
Thanks for the encouragement guys
Author:  Andre TTI [ Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Day 2:
After yesterday, I was left feeling pretty shitty. I was visiting Virginia so today's field would have to be in the Airports, and airplane travels.

Goals:
Get into the social mood
Approach and maintain conversation with women (don't always try to establish comfort, thereby reducing any tension)

Bad Mood.
I don't know if it was lack of sleep today, or because I was going too hard on myself from yesterday, but I was feeling pretty bad. I figured, I need to get in the mood to talk to people.

- Talked to the airplane ticketer where she asked me how old I was. I responded with "19" and "how old did you think I was?". She responded 16. Great.
- Wanted to approach HB6 sitting down in lobby. Hesitated.
- Approached weren't going so well. In the line to grab something to eat. Caught the glance of a HB6 and smiled, she smiled back. But again, I hesitated.
- Stopped looking for people to approach for a while
- First boarded the plane, asked the waitress HB5 for a water. She responded sort of rudely that she was setting up. She came by later in a happier mood and gave me my water
- On the airplane I was sitting to a HB6( i keep naming them HB6's ) and she looked intimidating and thought "she probably does not want to talk". 2 hours elapsed and when she needed to go to the restroom she smiled to me when I got up for her. When she got back I asked her what the image on her laptop cover was. Talked about how she was viola player, and I was a violin player. Gained some rapport. Maintained eye contact and smile. She was much older, so I didn't try for a #close, or that could be an excuse.

In summary.
I had bad momentum, and was too fearful of the approach.
Started a conversation with a girl sitting in my row after she smiled at me.
I keep making excuses not to talk to them. Most of the approaches I did were positive. I need to keep a good momentum. I need to be aware of false negative thoughts.

Challenges to Overcome
- learning how to keep a positive mindset
- Approaching women in the mall

FCKING MAN UP. YOUR NEVER GOING TO SEE THESE PEOPLE AGAIN
Author:  Andre TTI [ Tue Jul 05, 2011 5:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Day 3: Finally getting out there, but questioning my motive.

I went through a stage of negativity between yesterday and this morning. In the end, I decided to use all the energy I had to just focus on getting out there.

Goals:
Approach 5 women in the mall
Do Stylelife Challenge Day 4
Using direct method rather than indirect

Plan:
Go to the grocery store as warm-up
Go the mall to approach

Day game: (I'll keep it brief)
- Approached the first guy I saw. He looked like an old unfriendly guy, but after asking him where the mall was, he was actually pretty friendly.
- I was at Giant and saw 2 HB6's, and although they weren't that attractive, they seemed pretty intimidating. I didn't manage to approach them.
- I talked to an HB6 in a different isle, and asked here where I could get envelops and stamps. I had pretty good body language I think.
- Talked to the cashier, pretty cute HB6, consisted of only small-talk.
- Left Giant, and went to CVS. Talked to an HB4. Then talked to a guy about where the post office was.

Warm-up was over. Now I needed to head to the mall. I was pretty afraid of not approaching anyone, so I made it clear that I would approach the FIRST person I saw.

- I left the car, and talked to this couple with their kid in the parking lot. I was addressing the guy on what his favorite men's clothing store was. Whatever, at least I got my first approach out the way.
- Used three second rule on this HB6 as soon as I entered the mall. Went completely AFC indirect and asked, "Can I ask you a question."
- I went up an escalator and talked to an HB6 that had completely closed-off body language. She opened up though and I think I carried the conversation pretty well.
- Talked to an HB6 about where the express was.
- HB8. I found her pretty cute. She was about to pass me, and I locked my position while saying hey. I asked her what her favorite men's clothing store was.
- HB6, who got really close to me. I got nervous and kind of stuttered.
- I saw HB8 who was a worker. I planned to approach her indirectly and then switch it up to directly. I hesitated too long and didn't approach her, yet.
- HB6 in a make-up store. "Do you recommend buying make-up as a gift?"
- Complimented a girl on her style in H&M. don't even remember how she looked like. So i'll just say HB6.
- I wanted to approach that HB8 I saw from earlier that I didn't approach. I almost got stuck in the negative mind-pattern but the three second rule saved me. I approached her, and it turns out she was a fricken HB9. Holy shit. I asked her for favorite men's clothing store was. I didn't manage to go direct, but I felt that she was interested and I managed to lock down on eye contact.

I keep naming all girls HB6's.... I think my scale for rating women is like bell-curve.

All the conversations I had were probably under 2 minutes. I have a problem with actually making conversation, so I'll try to make that my goal for tomorrow.
That, and trying to switch to a direct approach.

...

I'm losing focus, and I don't even know my goal is anymore. It's really hard to see the other side of this, and I don't really see how I can get pass this.

Any tips you guys have would be awesome :D
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/