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So fed up - JOURNAL
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Author:  JXDX [ Tue Feb 15, 2011 6:13 am ]
Post subject:  So fed up - JOURNAL
I figure it's about time I do this, I've been so frustrated with myself and not being to open any girls and talk to the ones I'm attracted to. It's time to clean up my act and get my life together. I plan on keeping up with this for a long time, so it'll be interesting to see what happens.

To start off, some bits about me..
--20 going on 21
--Never had a girlfriend, never kissed, never done anything with girls
--Right now going to college
--No facebook/myspace
--Been knowledgeable about PUA material since I was about 17

I feel this journal goes far beyond PU. I'm putting all of my goals for 2011 in here.

To get started..
--clean room
--clean computer
--clean living room
^^^I never have people over. I feel my room isn't presentable and would feel very uncomfortable bringing a girl over in its current state. I also have a ton of porn on my computer, which I hope to get rid of.
--body[abs, chest, triceps]
^^right now my body is in decent shape. I can do around 19-20 pullups the hard way[palms out] but I don't have any abs and my chest doesn't have any muscles either..I also hope to get back to doing 20 something pullups as I was at this last year before school fucked up my gym schedule
--quit jacking off[I feel this is very detrimental to my game right now. I think if I stop jacking off I might be able to start PU.]
--Stock portfolio[I don't know if anyone here is into stocks. I just got into it about a month ago. I currently have a little over $5000 in my portfolio distributed over 6 stocks. By the end of the year I hope to have 10-15 stocks with at least $500 invested in each]
--Get caught up with buying[It seems theres always something new I want to buy. I feel my image is great right now but I want to perfect it just a little bit more. Getting a few belts, rings, watches, a necklace, a few shoes, cool boxers, and some shades would get me at 100% imo]
--swimming[I'd like to learn to swim for this summer]
--bowling[I never bowl, although I think it's fun. I think it'd be cool to be pro at it]
--pool[I played pool a few times at the end of last year and the beginning of this year. I think its really fun, and after only 3-4 games I started getting alright at it. I'd like to get really good at this too.]
--KP cure[This made me really insecure awhile back. If you're curious look it up its called keratosis pilaris. It's mostly annoying red bumps on the skin. I have them on the arms and back, but it doesn't bother me much anymore. I would like to get rid of them completely though. Right now there is no official cure, although people have gotten rid of it using alternative methods]
--sweaty palms cure[this is another thing that gets in my way. I have excessively sweaty palms. This has obvious problems in that I can't hold hands with a girl without it being wet and awkward lol. Oh well, I figure when I get with a girl I can just put my arm around her shoulder instead and walk like that. It'd be nice to get rid of this though]
--MMA[I'm a huge MMA fan and would like to get into it myself. Several different disciplines Im looking into are JiuJitsu, wrestling, Kickboxing, Boxing, Capoeira, and Judo..moneys really my problem]
--Snowboarding[Im looking to try this for the first time. but Im also hoping I like it and would turn it into a hobby]
--Foreign language[Im looking at learning several languages over the course of my life, but will probably not get to this goal in 2011]
--Eyesight[I have extremely bad eyes that progressively get worse. I've heard of people using simple exercises and even hypnosis to cure their eyes to 20/20. I want to look into this a little more]
--Darts[Just something I'm curious about..I never play it but I think its be cool to be good at it]
--Cleanses[I know theres alot of knockoff cleanse programs now. The lifestyle most people including myself live tends to kill our bodies and I'd like to start living very healthy, starting with cleansing]

PU Goals
--Dance[2011 is a busy year for me. I might not have enough time to fit this in but I'm going to try. I want to learn how to dance well, and in order to do this I want to set a large amount of time aside to learn. We'll see how this goes.]
--Get a girlfriend[This is a lofty goal for me. I hope eventually to explore a few different fetishes I have with her, but I'm also not willing to settle for an average girl. I feel I'm good enough to go after the ones I truly want.]
--Restuarants/bars[Since I turn 21 pretty soon I want to experience the bar life and just get accustomed to the environment. I also want to go to alot of different restaurants as I feel its good to experience variety. I don't do this often, but want to do this occassionally if I get a gf]
--Fill up phone[Right now I have 1 girl on my phone that I never met from plentyoffish. She apparently scheduled over our plans so I said fuck it and stopped talking to her. I hope to get 100+ girls on my phone by the end of 2011]
--clubbing/stripclub[I feel this is also necessary to get comfortable in this environment. I'm very nervous with anything sexual, so I want to get used to being around this type of energy. Really I just want to see what a stripclub is like, but I want to go clubbing eveyr now and then.]
--facebook[I dont have a facebook. I want to wait to build my life up a little first before I make one so my page doesn't look like a losers. Once I start going out every weekend and having fun I'll probably make one]
--online dating??[I'm not sure about this one. I made a plentyoffish profile and got a ton of views but I havent tried getting with anyone at all. I only tried 2 girls, one didn't get back at me and the one that did as I mentioned earlier flaked and I cut contact immediately]
Author:  JXDX [ Tue Feb 15, 2011 6:25 am ]
Post subject: 
The Plan
--More specifically, 2011 is going to be the year where I get my sexual identity. I've been building myself up for a few years now, and its definitely paid off. I have a cool style of music that I listen to, I dress like nobody else(in a good way), and I've taken care of my body and it's had a noticeable effect. I also now have a few hobbies and skills, and plan on building more.

Starting off with PU
--Right now I'm very knowledgeable. I've been on boards like these for years now reading up on material. During the 2010 summer I bought and read a very good book on body language. I know alot of good things to do and have integreated them into my life, and can also pick up on small subtle things other people do. I know enough to where I can get by better than most, but I just need to put words and thoughts into action.

I remember I kept a PU journal on another forum when I was 16. I planned on going out to 'sarge' and practice the 'newbie mission' once I got my car. Now, 5 years later I'm planning on getting serious about nightlife once I'm 21. Hopefully I'll follow through. I'm confident I will as I've changed so much.

On improving..
--I hope to start by opening anyone. Just get a conversation going. It's so hard to do for me when I'm by myself, but that's the fastest way I'll improve. I won't always have my buddies around. Besides, I need to branch out and expand. I can't be a chump my entire life. I need more. My life is not adequate at its current state. My ultimate beginning goal is to be able to open anybody anytime and simply start a conversation with them and befriend them. I still oftentimes have problems carrying conversations but I push myself to keep the conversation going. I think people respect and appreciate it if you're not extremely try-hard and will keep it going with you without wanting to talk shit about you once you leave.
--I hope to lose my virginity this year. I am confident this will happen, I just need to grow some balls.
--Learn to kiss well[this is a stretch considering I've never even kissed, but I want to become great at it. I know that if you're a good kisser other things will come easy. I plan on devoting time to learning some good tips on kissing like I did body language, and over time and with experience I'll understand it better]
--Cold approach PU[I think it would be such a trophy to say I accomplished this, and ended with eventually fucking a chick this way. It's one of the things I want to accomplish someday]
Author:  JXDX [ Tue Feb 15, 2011 6:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Day 0:
As I type this I'm getting ready to go to sleep. Who knows what I'll feel in the morning? I'm also in college, and schoolwork comes first. I'm hoping to finish all of the semester's work the next few weeks, but I'm also a massive procrastinator. This is just what I WANT to happen. I want to do this so I can focus on making money and practicing PU and focusing on my other goals. I will definitely keep up with this. I'm hoping to get a few of the smaller goals completed in the next week or two, such as cleaning my house and making it presentable to bring a chick over and cleaning my computer of porn and stopping whacking off.

As of right now, I'm currently starting my PU journey. Unlike the other times, I'm going to stick with it for the rest of my life. No more taking breaks, no more nothing. This place straightens people out for the better. Time to be a man. Take some risks. When I die I'm just going to rot in the ground anyways. I don't want to be 80 years old, regretting not talking to that chick because of fear. When I'm 80 I won't care about that stupid fear. I should've taken my damn pants of and ran around campus with my dick flopping against my thighs. It would've been a more vivid memory.


BEGINNER PU GOALS(complete within next month)
--Approach at least one girl on campus that I've never talked to before and befriend her.
--Get at least one girl's number in phone
--Go out somewhere and start cold approaching people having random conversations
--If you want to talk, talk..I always get a fear for some reason
--Make a friend in each of my classes
Author:  JXDX [ Fri Feb 18, 2011 2:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Day 1[Friday 2/18/11]
Okay, so a little recap of the week. Not much at all. I only have school on mondays and wednesdays, which is where pretty much all of my PU practice will come for now. One of my friends gfs came up and started talking to me[I met her once really quick, but shes alot more talkative than I am so I enjoy talking to her. I suck with shy girls that never talk in the beginning because I dont talk much in the beginning either. It's still something Im working on.] Over the next hour or two 3 other people[1 of whom I'd met before] came over to our table and I got to know them a little better. So I didn't approach anyone, but at least now I have a few friends on campus. Its amazing what talking and having lighthearted conversations will do to your overall confidence that day, so I'm glad that this happened.

My current plan is to clean up my house and make it presentable by Monday, but I'm putting work and homework first so I'll see how this goes. The current plan is to talk to a certain girl on Monday. I only have this class once a week and I've never talked to her before. If I can understand body language and IOIs right, this girl is maddd into me. Because it's been a few class periods and it seems she's still really attracted to me, I'm going to try starting off by letting her know I like her[not straight up but get her wondering a little]. I'll post how it goes. I'm just hoping I don't pussy out, which is why I'm trying to dump any negative factors in my life right now. I'm committed to change, so I need to start proving it.
Author:  JXDX [ Sun Feb 20, 2011 3:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Day 2[Sunday 2/20/11]
This is crazy. Yesterday I had probably the best day of my life that I can remember in recent memory. Nothing crazy even happened, it was all power of the mind. I've started clearing all the stuff out of my house that I don't want other people to see. It's amazing how much of an impact this has had on my mindset. Im not done, but its like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I was so much more chill and I ended up talking more than I usually do. This is great, as I'm going to attempt to talk to a girl, or multiple girls on Monday. I needed this boost, and I plan on keeping it.

I also went to a party last night. I didnt get fucked up, I just went because I felt I needed the experience. This was the first legit party I've ever been to, although there were a bunch of nerds that only wanted to play videogames. There were several cool people that went though, and in the end I was glad that I went over not going. I had a little 'fear' of parties, and I think I still do but it's definitely not as bad now that I've experienced one. I want to go to many more in order to get the fear out of my system.
Author:  JXDX [ Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Day 3[Tuesday 2/22/11]
Not too much to report yet. Yesterday I talked to the chick I wanted to talk to for the first time, which was a major accomplishment to me. Not much conversation but she was pretty friendly to me. I'll have to continue it next time. I was obsessing about her before I did this, although it's not bad now. If I can't get her, I'll move on. She was really the reason I looked back on myself and hated where I was, so it's safe to say she inspired this change in me. As for today, I've been working on cleaning up my room and computer. It's ridiculous how much crap I have that I only want my eyes to see. Especially my porn collection, which I spent a great deal of time deleting today. I'm still holding on to some files, I rarely delete all my shit and when I do I usually come back stronger at a later date. This time it has a different feel to it though; I'm ready to change my life forever. Looking back, it's pretty ridiculous how easy it is for us[or at least me] to get into a routine. Days begin to fly by and you lose the feeling of life. I didn't really accomplish much aside from cleaning up my stuff today, but I feel different in a good way.

Anyways, while cleaning up some of my stuff I found an advancement sheet I wrote a few years ago. I don't exactly like labels as they're oftentimes very misleading, but I like this one. It's got alot of flaws, as I don't feel someone with a label of PUM is necessarily better than a person labeled PUA. Regardless, I'll share it here..

0%--complete newbie mission once to advance, also comfortable making EC with anyone
WWBAFC--Get rid of AA completely, start regularly approaching HBs and make ok small talk; natural EC
WBAFC--Start learning how to talk to everyone..practice kino and get 10#s
BAFC--can kino well and comfortable[natural]..50#s no expectations/doesnt care(about negative outcomes..loss of ego)
AFC--proficient in kino, unafraid to initiate any type of kino..100#s and 1 GF..started integrating fast seduction in game..EC mastered
rAFC--many girlfriends, interacts well with most/all of them[overall ladies man]
RAFC--Demonstrated being better than most men, but is still susecptible to being AMOGed..very good social skills
GPUA--Pick up many girls if he feels like it but needs to perfect LMR, usually still has many holes in overall game
PUA/natural--has strong social circles/proof and is rarely AMOGed
PUE/PUG--commanding natural AMOG presence, can pick up any girl..mastered fast seduction
PUM--Pick up girl without trying, multiple FBs and triple digit LRs

This is my list. Alter it as you see fit. I don't even know if I want to make it to PUM, but I once did. My life has changed alot since then, but alot of this stuff still applies to me.
Author:  DeepCover [ Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
So much information its hard to respond but clearly you have lots of issues to work on. Make improving yourself your focus, but I can tell you need to be careful with that because you have an obsessive personality. I'm not saying you need to ignore the woman situation, but it's really just a side-effect from the rest of your life being unbalanced. Fix yourself, and the woman problem with solve itself.

Another thing that's obvious is you are too spread out. You can't possibly tackle all of those issues unless you break it down into smaller bites. You have a bunch of new hobbies you want to learn.

Pick ONE and get good at it.

Then pick ONE more and get good at it. Then chill for a while. That's enough for new hobbies.

First, you need something more athletic. Snowboarding is great but probably only useful for a few months a year and can be very expensive. MMA has some potential but can also be a geek fest. What you need is Volleyball. It's the single best coed sport hands down! People play all year, in and out. In the summer women play in bikinis or those tight booty shorts *drool*. Its very social and groups are heavily age 20s and 30s. After games is a chance to ask people to meet for a drink. Sign up alone and get placed on a team, now you have at least 5 friends, some of which are even women!

Second, I'm picking that you learn French. It's a sexy language and women love talking. It will make you seem more cultured and less of a hermit. This can lead you into wine, and women love wine. Maybe you will learn where Champagne comes from, now you have a conversation topic. Though I choose to be a beer connoisseur (hmm a French word?) and then I neg the women and their "girly" drink.
Author:  JXDX [ Sun Feb 27, 2011 2:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Day 4[Saturday 2/26/11]
Not too much to report yet. I've cleaned up most of my room and my computer, however. I feel I'm so close to being mentally ready to have a girlfriend. It's amazing how clearing my porn collection has made on increasing my drive to get one. I haven't gotten rid of all the porn yet as I'm afraid deleting it all right now might cause me to relapse later. With my current mindset, however, I won't relapse. If anyone is following this, hope you're not disappointed. I've been focusing on work, and school.
Quote:
So much information its hard to respond but clearly you have lots of issues to work on. Make improving yourself your focus, but I can tell you need to be careful with that because you have an obsessive personality. I'm not saying you need to ignore the woman situation, but it's really just a side-effect from the rest of your life being unbalanced. Fix yourself, and the woman problem with solve itself.

Another thing that's obvious is you are too spread out. You can't possibly tackle all of those issues unless you break it down into smaller bites. You have a bunch of new hobbies you want to learn.

Pick ONE and get good at it.

Then pick ONE more and get good at it. Then chill for a while. That's enough for new hobbies.

First, you need something more athletic. Snowboarding is great but probably only useful for a few months a year and can be very expensive. MMA has some potential but can also be a geek fest. What you need is Volleyball. It's the single best coed sport hands down! People play all year, in and out. In the summer women play in bikinis or those tight booty shorts *drool*. Its very social and groups are heavily age 20s and 30s. After games is a chance to ask people to meet for a drink. Sign up alone and get placed on a team, now you have at least 5 friends, some of which are even women!

Second, I'm picking that you learn French. It's a sexy language and women love talking. It will make you seem more cultured and less of a hermit. This can lead you into wine, and women love wine. Maybe you will learn where Champagne comes from, now you have a conversation topic. Though I choose to be a beer connoisseur (hmm a French word?) and then I neg the women and their "girly" drink.


Thanks for the great response. I've already taken learning french into consideration(I read your post a few days ago). I think this will indeed be my first language to learn other than English.

On fixing my life..I've been doing this the past few years. It's much deeper than that..I used to be an awkward geek and I've turned into a cool good looking dude. I've picked up a few hobbies along the way and feel like a normal person, minus women. I've never been good with them and always get scared or afraid they'll think I'm creepy if I start touching them or whatever. If you met me and had a conversation with me, you'd most likely think I got laid more than the average guy, and would almost definitely not believe I'm a virgin. I once thought, like you, that my woman problems was a side effect from my life being unbalanced. I've long corrected my life everywhere else and am still having troubles.

In response to me being too spread out, I'm not actually. I wrote down all of these goals because they're what I plan on accomplishing throughout my entire life. I knowI put goals for 2011(that was my bad), I actually don't intend on accomplishing most of these this year. I have alot more but I didn't want the list to be too long. Generally, I do pick something out of my list and focus on that, taking my goals one at a time.

As for MMA, I'm one of the biggest MMA fans out there. I'm not going to learn MMA because I want to impress the ladies, it's something I'm intensely passionate about. I will look into volleyball, however. Thanks for suggesting that, and taking the time to write that post.
Author:  Forrest123 [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 10:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
I hope cleaning the porn collection works for you, because there is so much free streaming stuff on the internet that I somehow always end up watching again and again :P

Talking about MMA, it is a great sport for conditioning your body (hell Im now in the best shape of my life thanks to it, earlier I only lifted weights and got big but slow. Now I am not that big but much faster and more agile, and generally more energetic about everything). I also think it affects your confidence positively. I think that goes for any real martial art.
But I fail to use that or any of my other qualities and skills to impress girls. I hope you will do better.

It is good that you have your goals set up, pick a few of them and work hard on them.
I cant wait to read your experiences when you start approaching girls!
Author:  JXDX [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 6:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Day 5[Monday 2/28/11]
SO FED UP WITH THIS SHIT! Again. Monday. This time the girl I wanted to talk to started talking to this other chump on her right and because of that I didn't talk to her at all today. She obviously likes me as opposed to him but he started talking to her and shes always friendly with him. Fuck, I need to man up. Well, I'm almost done cleaning. I finally did it..I just cleared my hard drive of porn forever. This is step 1 and I'm not looking back. That was the most important step, and today I begin my new journey. No more jerking off, just getting my life together.
Quote:
I hope cleaning the porn collection works for you, because there is so much free streaming stuff on the internet that I somehow always end up watching again and again :P

Talking about MMA, it is a great sport for conditioning your body (hell Im now in the best shape of my life thanks to it, earlier I only lifted weights and got big but slow. Now I am not that big but much faster and more agile, and generally more energetic about everything). I also think it affects your confidence positively. I think that goes for any real martial art.
But I fail to use that or any of my other qualities and skills to impress girls. I hope you will do better.

It is good that you have your goals set up, pick a few of them and work hard on them.
I cant wait to read your experiences when you start approaching girls!
Thanks for the feedback man! I can't wait to tell you guys about my experiences. I turn 21 in a few weeks so I might start with nightgame. Anyways, I have a particular fetish that's not too rare but it's not just anywhere either so I think I'll do fine in eliminating porn for good.
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