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| What next? Weird field report https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=82369 |
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| Author: | RogerAAA [ Mon Jan 03, 2011 12:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | What next? Weird field report |
Okay, so a few months ago I met HB7 at a party, I was having a cigarette on the balcony of this house and she came out and needed a light. I'd just read the Game and reading about pick up on these forums (only now just joined though) and so she was my first real attempted use of PUA. I've had moderately decent success without PUA, 2 very long term relationships 1 was 5 years and one was a year long - so over the last 7 years I've been in long term relationships for 6 of them - I'm good at keeping a relationship going but I'm not that great at starting them (have many times gotten the LJBF). We started talking and my natural game lends itself towards cocky-funny, so that's pretty much the approach I took, a few negs, anyways we'd talk for a bit, then go back in the house, step out again for a cig, rinse and repeat, after doing this a few times we'd go out and talk and then another of her friends would come up and she'd talk to them and stop talking to me, so I practiced freeze-out on this, would turn my back to her and go talk to some other group (good number of my friends were there so this was easy - mostly female too). Anyways after doing this once or twice she grabbed me (playfully) and said "You turned your back on me." Honestly I don't remember how I responded to that - but more cocky-funny, showing disinterest. After a bit I started to KINO with her - and she responded very favorably, we ended up leaning on each other on the balcony rail as we spoke, I'd put my arm around her, she'd laugh and put her head in my chest, if she walked off to get a beer, she'd come back and then physically put her bottle caps in my pocket. Anyways - so at this point I'm figuring this game is definitely ON. One of her friends showed up and she said to me "I need to go see my friend for a bit, but you should come find me later." I agreed and went and hung out with my friends for a while. Time went on and on and on and I was my friend's ride - so I just said fuck it and we left. Next day I talked to one of her friends and asked if she could give me her number - she responded "I definitely saw this happening...but I don't have her number, I'll see if I can get it for you" - turns out this friend wasn't really that close to her but was around when this was all going down - anyways she also suggested that a just facebook her. So I'm thinking okay - good, I'm not crazy. I also talked the next day to one of my platonic girl friends about it (she was there too) and I asked her what she thought about it and she said "It looked to me like she wanted to hook up with you." So I facebooked her - accepted friend requests - etc. all good - gave her a cocky funny line about all the bottlecaps she put in my pockets: "If you want me to retun these I'm gonna need your number." She responded without the phone number - I found it a bit strange, it was probably the strongest a girl had ever come on to me in my life, so I was pretty sure things were working the way I wanted them to. Anyways we facebook message periodically (one a week or so) and I'd ask her when we could go out. I think I may have come on a bit strong, but lately I've had the opposite problem (not coming on strong enough) and I'm working to find the right balance. Fast forward 3 months later (haven't seen the girl since this night) and she finally responds to one of my messages in which I'd asked her to go out - and she said she had a few nights off this week, I told her that I was going to need her number if we were going to meet up. She sent me the number through facebook - I then texted her saying "that was the toughest number I've ever gotten in my life, congratulations. She responds "just another great triumph of mine that they'll write about one day." Anyways so we start texting daily, she responds to my texts immediately every time and we'd have quite a few exchanges. She's kind of a bad-ass so I started teasing her, telling I was going to call her "sugarhead" since I knew she'd hate it, so for a day or two I'd text her and call her ridiculous names. Anyways - so we're texting now quite a bit, and I feel like we're getting a feel for each other, and I'm cocky funny constantly (and so is she) - however while she's agreed that we're going to hang out at some point, every time we get near when we said we were going to hang out, she flakes. So I ask her "Hey am I just wasting my time?" She responds "I have no idea, can't make promises." A few days later I asked "So, how many times are you going to turn me down before we go out?" She responds "Undetermined." We keep talking - the way this girl seemed when I met her was that she's just likes being a bit of a bad ass and I think she just likes having fun with me (and honestly, I am having fun.) - since the KINO was super intense I still figured that things were definitely going my way, she just wants to keep building it up. So it keeps on going - at some point I respond to something she says with this "....that's stupidly sexy and makes me want to make out with you right now." She responds: "Make out with your pillow." I respond: "Okay, I'm going to make out with my pillow that I've named ___ (her name." She responds: +1 point I respond: How many points do you have? She responds: "13" I respond: "I'm going to trade your 13 points in for a kiss good night, thanks for the kiss, try being less sloppy next time." She responds: "-1 point for you since I did not agree to those terms." Not sure what to make of things at this point - I know I went hyper direct and probably too direct, but she responded and was having fun with it so I figured I'd keep it going - in my experience if I've been this direct with a girl and she wasn't in to it, she'd just stop talking to me - but this girl doesn't stop, she keeps going at the same rate - so I'm figuring that I'm just confirming that yes, indeed this is on, I'm not wasting your time. Anyways so we keep talking a bit and then a few days ago I texted her to see what she was up to, we talked and agreed to go see a movie together soon (Black Swan). A few days go by, she's still hesitant to agree to a day/time to go. I tell her "I'll even buy your ticket since you're a classy dame." her: "Correct." We talk again, she tells me "I haven't gotten out of my bed all day today." I respond: "So you're saying you want to come over?" her: "No, I'm going to stay in my nice warm bed." At this point I'm just getting annoyed, so I write "Why aren't we hooking up right now? I forget." her "Lack of interest on my part." I'm honestly in disbelief as now I feel as if I've misread the entire scenario. me "So...why are we talking again?" her: "I thought there was platonic interest." me: "No thanks, I'm all set platonically." her: "No sweat." --- Okay, so a few days go by after this, and I start thinking about the situation and how I think I actually just handled the entire thing badly - I've been so tired lately of not being direct that I feel like I totally overdid it - and I still don't believe that this all started out platonically - there's just no way, unless this is a young thing - I'm 30, she's 20. I do see this girl periodically within the friend group I'm in, so I figured that I should do something/say something since I was sure to see her again and it's weird to just tell someone you genuinely enjoy talking to that you don't want to be friends at all. So a few days later (new years) I texted her and said that I shouldn't have talked to her the way I did and it was no way to treat a lady - that I was just trying to be clear but that I took it too far. She responded right away - we talked for a bit. Today I text her and ask her if she still wants to go see the movie on a not-date as not-friends as a joke. her: "Well, when you put it like that..." me: "___, it would be a tremendous honor and a privilege if thy lady would accompany me to the film, is that better?" her: "I suppose...when do you want to go." we picked a day/time to go. I'm going to see her Wednesday. So I guess this is the question - have I completely blown this one? I feel like this one started off well because of PUA, and since I haven't been actively using PUA over the last month or so I sort of forgot its principles and just went on this hyper direct bender that would only work in very particular situations. I know this girl was in to me when we first met - she may have been playing a little hard to get but I still don't believe this relationship started on platonic terms, we KINO'd a ton and when I asked her about her tattoos she told me about ones on her legs, and I asked her if I could see them - she even took her shoes off so that she could roll up her pants and show me, etc. So we're going to meet on Wednesday (today is Sunday) night for the movie - I want to know what you all think I should do in order to bring this one into the win-column or whether or not it looks like there's no hope for this one. |
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| Author: | ManlySpirit [ Wed Jan 05, 2011 3:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
well first a quick analysis on what you did, it was all good at first because not only did you show value through social proof at the party, but you also showed that you were ready to push and walk away when you did the freeze out. This kept her hooked and brought her into YOUR reality. Thats why she was so into you. You even left the party spontaneously, which was great because it showed you have more important things in your life. However bad move, on not getting her number before leaving, I personally would have gone and found her before leaving to have a small chat, let her know i was leaving, and invited her to a day2 on the spot, thus, also getting her number. Still though you got her facebook, and thats all you really needed. Dunno why you were so hellbent on getting her phone number after you have the facebook. And thats when you started being needy. Honestly all you needed was a bit of standard convo to build rapport, find out her interests and what not. Then simply INVITE HER TO COME WITH YOU TO SOMETHING YOU ARE ALREADY DOING. This is key, when you ask a girl out. You are already setting the frame where she is more valuable than you. Personally, I would have simply invited her to x, if its something that pertains to her interests, even better. For example, most of my sarges are college girls from my private classes. Usually i do the standard rapport build, and find out what they like, if they like theater, i talk about recent shows and what not, then i mention how i plan on going to see the show on the weekend, and give her the option to come with me. As in, whether she accepts or not, i still go, even if thats not true, at least that way if she rejects my invitation, in her mind, she will think, "well wow, hes out having fun, enjoying a play or w/e, while im home alone, hell he could even be going with another girl." See, the way you did it pretty much made her think, "ha, im having fun and hes probably home jacking off..." And this happened, according to your post, several times. Next, you did sexual talk over then net, and although i try to avoid doing it over the net in general, sometimes its hard to avoid letting the convo go that way, thats why i try to avoid virtual talk alot, however its hard sometimes, some girls are net addicts. However, i always avoid this at all costs if there hasnt been a real life day2. Especially the flirty sexual talk, save that for the end of the day2 (if possible) or for later if best. Your are better off building rapport at this phase. Besides, sexual talk is much more effective if you are there to make things more powerful and to kiss her at some point, because you are pretty much making her horny by making her think of sex. Lastly, you verbalized your intents too much with stuff like "i wanna make out with my pillow HBw/e," and not only that, when she told you "make out with your pillow, you simply said you would, like a little dog, you walked into her world, HER frame, she owned you. And you did what she told you. THAT was your biggest fail, you became the chaser, the played. Not the player, let her chase you. Its ok to show your interest and affection, but only when she deserves it. Keep your dominant frame, remember YOU are the prize, not her. Also, let your actions speak for you, this keeps her guessing on what your intents truly are, and it makes her wonder just how interested you REALLY are. Never underestimate a girls curiosity, many will go to great lengths just to find out. Also dont beg, never pay for anything when you go out with a girl you are not sleeping with (aka seriously dating, in case a girl ever calls you on it), you DO NOT supplicate for attention, and thats exactly what you did, "would you go out with me if i bought your ticket? look, i may not be an alpha male, but i can pay for your stuff." No, thats bad, the attraction is mutual, remember she is not the prize, YOU are. There are many more girls where she came from. Now what you should do, well you got a day2, its a pity date, but its one nonetheless. Keep your dominant frame, and kino, be bold and go for a kiss, its the best you can do. Dont worry about the details, and dont try to force it, just remember the PU principles, and roll with it naturaly. You said you didnt follow the principles of PU during the last months, well lemme tell you something the principles of PU are THE single most important thing PU can teach you, the rest comes from you and from experience, mostly experience. All the gimmicks and advance techs although fun, are pretty much useless. Lastly, I recommend you go out and meet other girls, have other girls in your life, date other girls, not only will this give you more exp and options, but it will raise your value in all their eyes. It also makes it easier to not be needy, and to walk away when necessary. Also dont beat yourself up, just learn from your mistakes, and dont be afraid to make them. It's all a learning process after all, we are all still learning, even the "Pros." Anyways, best of luck mate, cheers |
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