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| Summary of nights out in NYC. https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=80512 |
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| Author: | Rune [ Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Summary of nights out in NYC. |
I've managed to get into numerous clubs within the Meatpacking District and Village. A couple of new good friends helped me get out of my rut, and showed me the ropes on how quality outings work. Previous frustrations were caused by a few, bad "former" friends. I even brought them to hang out...my new friends told me that they acted like dicks around them, and that while I'm cool, they can't come anymore. I said no problem. I was overjoyed. We go out, and over the course of 7 weeks (about 11 different times I went out), I learned many things about myself, and how people REALLY are. -My negative view on people was limited to the SHIT, HORRIBLE "friends" I used to have. Many people are actually quite fucking cool, and my own former group of friends ended up being pieces of shit. People are nice, and people are different. -Even "alphas" have off days. Sometimes, they go there, and don't talk to anyone. Sometimes, they get a girl's number right then and there, no problem whatsoever. Moment. -On my own self, I have ZERO confidence with people. My own perceived confidence got drained down the shitter. Even when some girls THREW themselves on me, I froze like a deer in headlights. I didn't know what to do. Forget "knowing" what needed to be done...I couldn't bring myself to do it. I've even stopped going to the gym. I'm not sure if I'm depressed, or I've just given up on life. I went to both a psychologist, and psychiatrist. I am sane and normal, but I do have small symptoms of both ADHD and Aspergers. After doing my research, I came to the conclusion that, while I do have something wrong mentally and emotionally with my personality, the 2nd main problem I have is 100% lack of confidence. I've come to believe that I am incapable of seducing any woman, let alone communicate with any human being. After reading what I just typed, I realized that is absurd and totally not true, but I feel differently. I feel like "I" myself am a defect. Even if I learn the right ways of doing it, I cant implement it. I'm a BMW with a permanently damaged engine component. I am top grade human, but something is damaged that wont let me start the engine. I can't hate others. I can't hate myself. This is the predicament: I have issues in social situations, it's a situation which 100% of the population can dismiss as "A mindtrick" on the problem person's party, women only respond to conversation and stimulation, and I must accept the fact that I may never get the dream lifestyle I feel I deserve. It's like me being a wheelchair cripple, but mentally. On the outside, I look like a bodybuilding model. Inside, I'm somewhat socially retarded by genetics. I know it cant be true, but I've been out there. I know what to do, but I can't do it. The simplest task to perform, is the hardest for me. Someone tell me otherwise. |
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