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FR++ HB with BF. How i've played it over 3 months
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Author:  wowo [ Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:39 pm ]
Post subject:  FR++ HB with BF. How i've played it over 3 months
FR ++
Tuesday, 1st of June, twenty ten…
Part 1

Background Info
So there’s this girl that I have hooked up with a couple of times a few years ago, before I knew os the seduction community. There has always been a lot of tension between us but nothing has ever really eventuated between us as either she has had a bf, I have had a gf, or I have just been a chodish AFC with no clue how to read girls. Hadn’t really talked to her for about 3 years until about 3 months ago when we started facebook chatting.

She is in a LTR with a guy and has been for about 2 years. Our facebook conversations have been very flirtatious, but in a very subtle kind of way: eg the language we use is always ambiguous as to be interpreted in a way like we weren’t flirting. It had to be in this very subtle way as she would definitely stop any interaction with me if I verbalised it and made the attraction between us real. I see it as she is a very loyal girl, and does have those sorts of morals, but has not been happy in her relationship, so she has been testing the waters with me, but won’t let things get too far.

Tension has been building between us for a few months now, and although it has never been verbalised and its only been via facebook and texting, it’s pretty clear there is a lot of attraction there.

Yes she has a bf, and I do feel guilty, but I do like this girl and would like a LTR with her and can see this happening. This is just my FR though, don’t intend to have that debate here.

Randomly seen her at a local event a week ago.

First time I have seen her and talked to her in over a year. I isolate and we have a good 20 minute conversation. It’s in public so she’s quite comfortable with me. We separate into our separate groups after this and don’t have any more conversations, but we catch each other looking at each other plenty of times over the next few hours. I had no expectations at this stage as I knew she had a bf, but the tension we had was reinforced from actually seeing her in person.

She comes to my house a week later

She texts me during the day.

Her- Hey what are u up to tonight (she plays lots of games. In my opinion she never intended on meeting up with me or anything, she just wants to see how I react, and is just testing the waters a bit, but I’ll play :) She does this often)

Me- probably just gonna go out to one of the local clubs later, u?

Her- Oh that’s cool, I was just gonna see if u wanted to get a coffee or something later but u already have plans..thats cool have a good night xx (total bullshit in my opinion, just a game, but predictable)

Me- Oh no worries that’s fine I’m not going out til later so we can grab a coffee before I go out (decided I want to be pushy and see what happens)

Her- oh I don’t finish work til 5, so I won’t get home til 6, then I have to drop my mates somewhere at 7, so it couldn’t be until like 8 anyway. But hope u have a good night xx

Me- Oh 8 is fine by me. Guess ur just gonna have to buy me a coffee tonight, unless u can come up with anymore excuses?

No reply for a bit so I text again. Wouldn’t usually but was intentionally being pushy because I wanted to call her out on her games.

Me- It’s no big deal u know it’s just a coffee, but I can tell ur really stressing out about it haha so we’l just have to do it another time. Have a good night :)

Her- Farout!!! I’m just at work…I’ll let u know when I get home (I knew she wouldn’t, talking shit once again)

Me (7.40pm)- Hey u still stressing? What are u doing right now this very moment?

Her- I just had a fight with dad and don’t feel like doing anything, sorry, u have a good night though.

Me- Oh cool brad (mutual friend) is at mine… come over and we’ll cheer u up.

No reply from her so I send her my address and tell her to bring some music. She came hehe :) She put up heaps of resistance…(no wonder she has a bf)….but I sensed that I could get her to come if I was really pushy…and like put all the responsibility on myself…and make her run out of excuses. I was right for once! Also, was very important to frame everything as we were just friends, this was very important to her. If at any stage I made it about more than that (verbally, or in text) she would have been scared away, even though we both knew it was. She stayed for about 2 and a half hours before I went out and we just all chilled and were social. I felt like I played it well just to get her to come over.
Author:  wowo [ Wed Jun 02, 2010 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
FR ++
Tuesday, 1st of June, twenty ten…
Part 2

She calls me at 10.30 on a Tuesday night, and to cut it short I end up at her mate’s house. Her friends were very encouraging of me coming over, which is interesting, as they all know her bf. Also, she was comfortable with me coming over to, and spending time with me in front of her friends. 6 girls were there having a few drinks, actually getting quite piddled, and only one other bloke there. She’d had a few but was only tipsy. I hadn’t planned to stay long, was just going to say hi and then leave, but ended up having a few drinks.

Lots and lots of verbal resistance was to be expected from her, so basically my game was to frame everything as we were just friends, and she had no need to feel uncomfortable or guilty about. The idea was to escalate her very subtly and under the radar. I did this by escalating the vibe. I have only read the free ebook which I found here http://60yearsofchallenge.com/ and this has improved my game heaps.

It’s pretty simple, all I did was maintain seductive eye contact and use subtle kino. I sat close to her, playfully poked her, stuff like that, things that I could get away with doing in front of her friends without making her feel uncomfortable. She was doing the same sorts of things with me. And just keep framing everything as though we were just mates. Our body language however was sub-communicating a completely different story. So much tension was being built. I focused on listening, tried to get her talking as much as possible. I got her talking about her relationship with her bf and she was talking him down while I was defending him.

We ended up talking in her mates bedroom; we sat on the bed; we lied on the bed; she ended up under the blanket; it got cold; I ended up under the blanket. Her friend came in and lit candles for us (Yes, her friend that knows the bf was setting the mood for us….I don’t think her friends like the bf much). This made me feel very comfortable. It was like everyone knew what was going on, and like they wanted it to happen, like all her friends were happy I was there with her. The HB would leave the door open, and the friends would actually walk past and close it! Giving us privacy! I just found this interesting.

She had never cheated on a bf before, and was freaking out a bit knowing he would be very unhappy with her being in bed with another guy. I told her nothing was going to happen, that I wouldn’t let anything happen, while giving her very good eye contact and a cheeky grin.

THERE WAS SO MUCH TENSION. After a few hours of cuddling, triangular gazing, and me just teasing her as much as I could while still maintaining nothing was going to happen, we kissed slightly. She kinda freaked out and was feeling very guilty, but we were going at it LIKE CRAZY very shortly after. Lots of kissing and grinding. I wasn’t going to go for the full close though for a few reasons. I didn’t even expect it to go as far as it did. We spent the night together with her in my arms, and it felt really good.

There is a very strong connection between us and I can see us in a LTR soon. She is going on a 9 day holiday to Bali with her bf in about a weeks time. I don’t want to get in the way of this so I plan to give her space for a few weeks and think she’ll end up breaking up with the bf on her own accord in that time. I’m pretty confident she’s fair into me, and that I could leave it for ages and just pick up where I left off. Plus I think she needs time to sort out her relationship by herself.

I would appreciate input as to what people think I should do next. I just plan to play it cool and let it all sort itself out. I think it will.

wowo
Author:  wowo [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 4:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Follow up texting

Me- Hope i haven't caused problems for u. I didn't plan for that (i really didn't) Feeling a bit guilty. Hope ur head feels better soon (She had a headache)

Her- To be honest i've been questioning my relationship with (insert bf name here) for a while.. but thats not excuse for what happened. we have a trip to bali to go on... I'm not gonna say anything till i get back, and then sort my shit out. Do u regret it?

Me- Well i hop u guys find the answers to ur questions. Sure you'l have an amazing time together in bali. I think the trip will help u find out what u want. I do feel guilt but no i don't regret it. It happened and it was good. have a good day

Her- I dont regret it either :) im still in bed, my head is killing me. see ya soon i hope xx


So yeah I plan to leave it for three weeks or so till she gets back from bali. I don't feel like catching up with her before then is really necessary...opinions???

I think leaving the situation as it is will end up with them breaking up without any contribution from me.

I do feel a little evil, and feel bad for the guy involved, but i do really like this girl and think they have enough problems with their relationship. I'm not arrogant enough to think I am the reason they will break up if they do. I kinda see myself as the straw that broke the camel's back (assuming the camel's back is going to break). Just thought i'd mention this as i'm trying to understand my own feelings about this. It's the first time i've been in this situation and i have been having some problems dealing with the issue, but all things considered i still don't regret it.

wowo
Author:  Chainfire99 [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 5:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Yes, just play it cool. Maybe send her an innocent humorous text in a couple of weeks. My only question is do you think you could trust such a girl in the context of a Long-term relationship? She did technically cheat on her boyfriend (wasn't full on intercourse but still cheating nonetheless).

I might be in a similar situation. Last summer I had a fling with this girl whom I knew was in a relationship. I had never cut a man's grass intentionally till that point. She revealed to me how much have a douche bag he was so i really didn't feel that guilty, especially since she told me she had the intentions of dumping him. Near the end of the summer, she had dumped him but also cut ties with me as well. Even tho the last time we were together (took her to the beach...the day was as much sexual as it was romantic). I guess she needed to be completely single. This girl was a 9 and i was totally attracted to her (i handled the bf thing incorrectly as well by attacking the bf verbally-speaking). She was crazy wild in bed.

We talked on the phone or texted here and there throughout the year but i never attended any of her shows (she's in a rap duo with her sister) or the bars she frequents (because they are total dives filled with grungy death metal rockers or wannabe wigger/gangsters- not my scene). Recently we have been chatting more and she has been complimenting and flirting with me big time. She invited me to a lil show at a bar her and her sister bar-tend at on Friday. Both these sisters are hot in the slutty bad girl (piercings, tats, fit curvy bodies) way. I had just met her sister recently and now i wanna bang her as well (i met her while she was bar-tending but did not game her much then, although today we flirted lightly on facebook). I have plans on attending their lil show this Friday, but i am wondering if I should try to rekindle the sexual vibe with the girl I have a past with or use the social proofing to try to bang her hot sister. Hmmmm... i might go home empty-handed but i don't really care that much! Too many ladies out there!
Author:  wowo [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 5:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
My only question is do you think you could trust such a girl in the context of a Long-term relationship? She did technically cheat on her boyfriend
Obviously the trust thing has been going through my head. I'm really worried that I am being naive and making excuses for her. I have been guilty of this in the past so it is definatley something I have to consider.

That being said, yes i do....why?

- I believe she is MASSIVELY attracted to me, and has been for some time.
- And given this, she STILL put up tonnes of resistance. Took me 3 months to get this far with her.
- First time she has cheated (I believe her)
-She's honest and open to me with questions I've asked her about guy experiences.(I think)
- she hasn't taken it in the bum. most sluts have yeah? :P

Am I naive? What can I do to get a better idea of how trustworthy she is? haha getting ahead of myself now. Will she need to go through a single stage if they break up?

some of the questions going through my head...



Quote:
i might go home empty-handed but i don't really care that much! Too many ladies out there!
:) I think this is the attitude i need to adopt for now instead of investing myself too much into this situation.
Author:  RedSkwirl [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 7:51 am ]
Post subject: 
I just got out of a very similar relationship. This may be a glimpse into the future for you, or it may work out between you two. Anyway, I gamed a girl about a year ago and she ended up cheating on her BF with me. She broke up with him and we started dating. The relationship never really worked. After that one time of her cheating on her last BF, I kept hearing over and over that she was cheating on me. All this gossip from her inner circle of friends and mine, made the relationship awful, just because of one time. That's my input.
Author:  Chainfire99 [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 11:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Most women usually cheat when they are unhappy and/or bored with a relationship. So my best advice is don't change and become a wimp. Too many guys, once they are comfortable in a relationship, act different because they become complacent and lazy and take the woman for granted. If your not the same man she fell for...she will lose attraction and want out. Remain the same man you are...but also keep things exciting and unpredictable (in a positive way...always try out new activities together and be fun). You have to have a strong frame and also pull her aside and tell her that you will not tolerate cheating. If she is unfaithful, you will drop her and not talk to her again. State that if there are problems in the relationship, the two of you need to communicate and work them out. Basically, if you satisfy a woman emotionally and sexually, she isn't going anywhere (most of the time, some women are just chronic cheaters regardless of their satisfaction in the relationship).
Author:  wowo [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 5:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks guys I appretiate your contributions. :)

I do quite like this girl, so instead of worrying too much about what may or may not happen, I think i'll just play it by ear and take it as it comes.

If I end up in a relationship with this girl I will take that chance. If I get burned, I get burned. I'll get over it and find a new girl.

At the end of the day it's all very exciting and i'm having a lot of fun!

wowo
Author:  james10 [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 11:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think you played it well
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