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High attraction + disaster date = no recovery?
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Author:  cagewalker [ Mon May 31, 2010 1:46 am ]
Post subject:  High attraction + disaster date = no recovery?
Hey guys.

Just a bit of background - there's this girl in my university class who I've been interested in. I'm 22 she's 21.

First time I met her, I kept it short and brief. Only spoke for about 5 minutes, and in that time, made a pretty accurate cold reading that seemed to impress her.

Second time I met her, she approached me and asked me to hang out with her after class. I found out we have a lot in common and she was very smart. In fact, she started to be cocky and funny with me teasing me while I teased her. I had other commitments and left abruptly after an hour. I could tell she seemed surprised.

Third time I meet her (last wednesday), we hung out for a one hour coffee. I told her I would be checking out a gig on campus on sunday and she should come along. We exchanged numbers.

She was really enthused about the idea, reminding me of it before we left. In fact the last thing she said to me was - 'so sunday, yes?'

Here is the disaster.....

On saturday night, I lost my phone.

Gone. No way to contact her.

Sunday goes past.

On sunday night, I finally ended up getting her number off a mutual acquaintance. I messaged her (on a friends phone) with:

'Hey little punker (my nickname for her). I lost my phone on the weekend and I'm using a mate's phone. Hope you didn't try turning up on campus?'

Her exact reply was

'Oh hey fruit thrower (her nick name for me). I imagine losing your phone would make for a semi-disastrous weekend? I ended up going on campus, but not the gig itself. I still haven't been to that venue yet. Also, there I spoke to our lecturer and I'm afraid we'll have to miss our presentation.'

I should explain that she lives pretty far away from campus, so the fact she showed up meant she MIGHT have been waiting for me to call all day, but that is immaterial right now.

I replied to her with:

'Disaster is an understatement. I'll be at the venue tomorrow after 12. You going to be around?'

She never replied to that final message. I'm thinking if she was interested, she would have still replied even though it was a friends phone.

So that's my report. Thanks for reading. Can anyone pin point where I c*cked up? Is there a way to recover this situation (I'm gaming 2 other girls right now, but she's far smarter and more confidence than the others) so she seems LTR material.

Any words you guys throw my way would be much appreciated.
Author:  Herne [ Mon May 31, 2010 2:08 am ]
Post subject: 
I dont think your out of the picture on this one at all, because she lives a bit away its normal she wouldnt make a return trip again right away

She may not trust you as much as she did you probably dropped from 100% to 90% ON THE TRUSTAGRAM----you know how paranoid some of them can be--did he really lose his phone?--was it just an excuse not to meet me?? yawn

I think youll be ok on this one as long as you dont overdo contacting her or worse making more than one apology for the mess up with the phone--dont mention it agai and maybe invite her to something in 3 days
Author:  imanewbie [ Mon May 31, 2010 3:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Imho dont worry you are safe as the previous poster said.
Author:  cagewalker [ Mon May 31, 2010 5:06 am ]
Post subject: 
Dammit! You guys are good.

I got home at 3pm from college and my room mate (whose phone I was using to message her) says to me:

"Oh sorry I didn't say this earlier. But she messaged you at 10 this morning asking to meet up."

I tried to call her back immediately but no answer. Instead I sent a message:

"This is a friends phone so I only got your message then. I'm on campus if you're still around."

Her reply was

"Sorry I didn't pick up, I'm in the strictly shhh section of the library. Enjoy being a nerd on campus as I have to get ready for work soon.'

I haven't replied to that yet. I don't want to overcontact her.

My plan is to call her once she finishes work tonight and ask if she'll be at uni tomorrow. I don't want to make myself too available, but tomorrow is a weekday so uni seems (to me) legitimate. Plus, she has tried to meet up with me twice already but both times, through some comedy of error, I've 'stood her up'.

What do you think? Or should I wait awhile and ask her to do something in a few days (This might make myself more attractive in terms of exclusivity, but it seems like she has already displayed enough interest for me, and if I play too much hard to get she could give up altogether)
Author:  Herne [ Mon May 31, 2010 2:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
contact her today about meeting up in a few days---
Author:  cagewalker [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:53 am ]
Post subject: 
********* UPDATE ****************

We talked on the phone last night and made plans for today 12 in the noon, today.

However, at 9:50am I get a message:

'So the comedy of errors continues. I have a group meeting that slipped my sieve-like mind. Raincheck? Class tomorrow - palm cards ready?'

Firstly, I think the group meeting is a bullshit excuse. If it were true, and she is blowing me off after so many tries just for some silly group work tells me she is not interested. Maybe this is even some sort of shit test?

Secondly, she mentioned palms cards because I would be giving a presentation. This is irrelevant.

The fact she mentions a raincheck suggests she may want to see me some other time, but I combined with her crappy excuse - I don't know what to think.

I haven't replied yet and the time is now 10:50am. Some quick help is required. Thanks in advance, you guys have been great so far.
Author:  DesertSun [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
********* UPDATE ****************

We talked on the phone last night and made plans for today 12 in the noon, today.

However, at 9:50am I get a message:

'So the comedy of errors continues. I have a group meeting that slipped my sieve-like mind. Raincheck? Class tomorrow - palm cards ready?'

Firstly, I think the group meeting is a bullshit excuse. If it were true, and she is blowing me off after so many tries just for some silly group work tells me she is not interested. Maybe this is even some sort of shit test?

Secondly, she mentioned palms cards because I would be giving a presentation. This is irrelevant.

The fact she mentions a raincheck suggests she may want to see me some other time, but I combined with her crappy excuse - I don't know what to think.

I haven't replied yet and the time is now 10:50am. Some quick help is required. Thanks in advance, you guys have been great so far.
I have a feeling she is telling the truth, I don't think she would say "raincheck" otherwise. I wouldn't mention anything about meeting up with her, play it cool if you are texting her back. Is she doing a presentation to? I'd make a little joke about that but just don't mention about meeting up with her till you see her tomorrow.
Author:  cagewalker [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

I have a feeling she is telling the truth, I don't think she would say "raincheck" otherwise. I wouldn't mention anything about meeting up with her, play it cool if you are texting her back. Is she doing a presentation to? I'd make a little joke about that but just don't mention about meeting up with her till you see her tomorrow.
Cheers. I tried not to show too much emotional response and kept it level. I texted:

"..so the story continues. Alright, raincheck, but you pick a time with your sieve-like mind. - will you be secretly aiding the opposition against me tomorrow?'

The last part eludes to the fact that there is a great final in-class debate and she is on the opposing team.

Any pointers on how to handle date cancellations next time?
Author:  Herne [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 3:20 am ]
Post subject: 
still wouldnt take it too seriously dont get angry/resentful--you have in theory cancelled/stood her up twice now--in girl world she is under an obligation to cancell or stand you up at least once in return--thats how they think,especially if she has confided in a female friend about your cancellations.

now this is only my opinion but id play cool and leave it open to her---say leave it a day or two and say listen id like to meet up sometime when we dont both have something else on, give me a shout if you want to---if she doesnt leave it, if she does-----MAKE SURE YOU GET THERE even if you have to hitchike cross country----if you do another no show on her she will write you off for good as a time waster and I think it will then be irreversable
Author:  Dr. Beat [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 4:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Man, you are absolutely fine. You're reading into things WAY too much.
Author:  Clozer [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 4:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Get your cell phone situation worked out. Not taking care of that is amateur and sloppy. Good luck man
Author:  cagewalker [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 11:33 am ]
Post subject: 
Again, all of you have been right.

I did not reply to her cancelling until about 5mins before I was 'due to arrive' (I read about this somewhere and decided to put it into practice). 2 hours later, she sends me a message saying:

"Actually, I've ended up at the freehills building afterall. This building is majestic."

Since I was already there, I got in touch and we ended up having a study date.

Study dates, I found have pros and cons but that's another story. Kino wasn't great. I pinged her arm a few times but I get the feeling she is a very reserved girl and did not persist.

After study we had a coffee and the conversation flowed really well, but not with enough sexual tension. Both of us are generally, reserved but confident.

HERE'S THE THING:

I will be seeing her in class tomorrow. To me, this could be a potential death trap.

I don't want to see her so much in such a short span of time. Especially when my kino sucks (I have a decent inner game, and mentally project myself well, but I'm not a touchy feely person and I can come across as awkward if I try)

Are there any do's and don'ts of what I should do tomorrow? Perhaps leave class early so as to avoid hanging around with her aimlessly after class (which may happen)

Maybe have something pre-planned to do in case she does end up wanting to hang out?
Author:  Herne [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 2:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
talk to for 2 mins after the class then do the---I gotta go, I have something on,dont tell her what it is even if it does exist
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