Today was a fuck up. An honest to god fuck up. I over estimated my skills, and I got burnt for it. This is a hard post to write, I've already written a few brief ones and deleted them, mainly because my ego couldn't take it.
I had three day2's scheduled for today, a half hour gap between each. I received an unfortunate set of coincidences that I thought I could cope with, but in the end I couldn't. The first was that my first day2 of the day, a completely awesome girl - called to say that she was bringing a friend. You know, I shrugged it off, I'd heard from some people that if she brings a friend, you shouldn't go because it's basically just an ambush - by this it means that they both judge you, they are already in rapport with each other, and they will talk among themselves leaving you on the outside. I figured, hey - I love 2 sets in day game, they are the MOST fun that I have while gaming, this can't be much different.
I was wrong.
There were times where I could cut in and lead the conversation, but the majority of times they were just talking among themselves and on topics that I couldn't contribute to (guys that they know, guys obsessed with them, etc. etc.). It was actually disgustingly demoralising, I felt my ego and my state slipping with every moment I was with them. I continually tried to lead the conversation, to lead the group, but every time I did, it wouldn't take, I guess it's something I need to practice A LOT more.
My 2nd Day2 messaged me while I was with them and asked if she could reschedule, seeing her on Thursday instead. As a result, I messaged my wing to see if he could come in and give me a hand; he headed in just as I got a message from my 3rd Day2 saying that she was in earlier then she was meant to be and was wanting to hang out straight away, and also that she had a friend as well.
I introduced my wing (we'll call him W1) to them and said i had to go take care of some other stuff, ended up spending about another hour with the other set trying to salvage it, but every time I attempted to create an emotional connection or have input into a discussion, they took note of it, but didn't progress along that topic. I left them feeling really demoralised and with a really really bad state. I didn't want to approach, I literally felt like I had had enough of trying to create connections with women, I was happy with the friends I already had, I didn't need to open, etc.
I knew this was a terrible mindset, and a terrible cycle to get into so I called my other wing (W2) and got him to come in and push me through some sets. The first set I opened was in a bookstore - 2 set - me and him were going down the escalator, they were going up, I ran down, ran up and opened with "I'm really sorry - but I saw you and I just thought you were really cute and I just HAD to talk to you" and transitioned with how I usually do with girls her age; Introduce myself -> Ages -> Schools, etc. They said they were 16, I didn't believe it. I dragged them downstairs to my wing and we started talking about tattoo's because he was holding a tattoo book. As soon as I knew they had hooked, I lost complete interest and my wing took over the set, I almost felt like I didn't want to day2 them, or talk to them again, which is the first time I'd EVER felt like that. We both number closed and they said they'd take us out to a movie, we wanted avatar - they wanted something called 'Lovely Bones.' I guess in retrospect, that was a pretty good set, but I honestly just lost interest halfway through and I couldn't have cared less about the close.
We met up with W1 and the girls, they were having a good time and me and W2 decided to leave them with at and i should go and do some more day game sets because otherwise I'd get stuck in the mentality of not wanting to do it again. I couldn't open, my body language was terrible, my state was terrible, I ended up approaching about 4-5 girls only for them to walk away almost instantly. I felt defeated, honestly defeated. I was one straw away from going home. I guess W2 sensed this, and we began to talk about what we could do to change our states (I was obviously having a negative effect on his state too). We skulled redbull and returned to W1 and the girls.
Suprisingly they were sitting on the grass playing truth or dare, something that me and W2 hadn't played for FAR too long. The majority of stuff included approaching and coaxing stuff out of people; Pictures, Numbers, etc. I ended up having an awesome conversation with a 2 set that were in a relationship (I usually don't approach people in relationships) and W1 wanted to see how I'd go against a really alpha guy. My state changed now for a while, it was positive and I was having a good time, we started doing stupid shit like 'Back to the Future,' which, if anyone has watched HIMYM, will remember when Barney pretends to be future himself and tells a girl to be extra nice to him, and then comes back to present him and hits on her. We just used W2 as the older guy and it was a pretty fucking fun time.
We sent W2 off to do something, and while that was going on, one of the girls from the 2set started trying to attack me with makeup. I ended up snapping at her, slowing my voice right down and telling her to 'Stop. Now. Put it away. Put it in the box. Put it in the bag. Give the bag to me.' which was effective, she did give it to me, but it led to her being scared of me, but at the same time - I'm sure it built some attraction. I reframed it all to a topic about God and whether we believe in him, but I honestly felt as if I'd crossed a line and embarassed myself and my wings.
After a while, we split into groups and did a dare list competition:
Quote:
1) Get 30 hugs.
2) Get 5 phone numbers.
3) Role play with a stranger.
4) Take 5 photo's with stangers.
5) Get married three times.
6) Have a thumb war with a stranger.
7) Instant date -> Coffee
Instant date -> Icecream
9) Kiss 3 strangers.
10) Pretend you know someone.
11) Back to the future!
12) Give someone a Piggy Back ride.
Where the teams were Me and W2 against W1 and the two girls. It was a good lot of fun, we approached a lot (30+ Sets) in about an hour, and had two girls following us around helping us with it. We completed the majority of it, it was pretty good besides the occasional crashing of the other teams sets, etc. But I guess that's all in the spirit of AMOG practice 2) Get 5 phone numbers.
3) Role play with a stranger.
4) Take 5 photo's with stangers.
5) Get married three times.
6) Have a thumb war with a stranger.
7) Instant date -> Coffee
Instant date -> Icecream9) Kiss 3 strangers.
10) Pretend you know someone.
11) Back to the future!
12) Give someone a Piggy Back ride.
. I guess in retrospect, it wasn't a bad day. I didn't close anyone that I would want to see again, I got 6 numbers, a kiss, a marriage, an instant date, and a few other things, but emotionally, it made me feel bad about myself, which is something I haven't felt for a long time.
I believe the things I need to improve upon are:
-> Bringing myself out of a low state.
-> Basic conversation (in relation to the Day2 2 person situation).
-> Not putting myself in situations that I think could turn out negative.
-> Not overestimating my abilities and my ability to make an emotional connection.
Any advice is welcome. Ty for reading =]!