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FR, One set a time
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=23478		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  ResCogitans [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:  FR, One set a time
Well, all in all, i'm quite proud of myself that I finally acted against my crippling AA and jumped into the cold water. I managed to do a few approaches where everything in me was trying to stop me from doing them.

I went with two friends to a venue where there is a live band and lots of dancing. Both my friends know that i'm doing this pua stuff, one of them likes it but I think he is too chicken yet to try. He needs to rework some beliefs and accept change. Maybe he will want to venture out after he sees me having some success.

The other friend is a great guy but thinks this is total bullshit and tries to talk me out of it. He kind of does ok quantity-wise with the ladies but quality-wise he is lacking. He kind of grabs whatever is avaliable, but I still admire him for consistently f-closing and k-closing.

This is the FIRST time, as far as I remember, that I went to a club and didn't drink a single drop of alcohol and stayed the whole night entirely on mineral water and coca-cola and I found the feeling is pretty good. I liked the way I felt in control of myself.

Ok, upon getting there I walked around the club, feeling it out. I didn't feel able to apply the 3s rule, which is a pitty, and it hurt my game, I know.

After half-an-hour or so, I managed to warm up by aking a girl, while walking by, what was the bands name and she answered, whoa, sigh of relief. I felt kind of lame but walked away unhurt, so I decided to approach an HB8 who was dancing close to the side of the stage.

Feeling really nervous, I walked up to her, stood side by side, looked her in the eyes and asked her:

"What's the name of the band thats playing?"

The look she gave me was a chump's nightmare. You now that look? Eyebrows furrowed in that quizzical way which says: "WHAT?", "I can't believe this moron is approaching me like this." I had to insist in a weak, trembling voice that I really didn't know the band's name, she told me, and I left feeling miserable, tail between my legs.

I rejoined my friends, and after hovering around two babes, neither of them attrtactive, I decided to try the, "does my friend look like a dealer" routine, just changing the word "dealer" for "criminal". Man, this one was a disaster, her reaction was really rude and agressive (which I thnk was totally uncalled for).

She was like: "What kind of question is that!?", to which I had no answer so I tried insisting but now she was ignoring me and not giving eye contact anymore. Resisting the urge to react with verbal aggression, I left, totally humiliated while my friend kept on talking to her. Looking back, this was really educational and I think i'll know how to react in a similar situation next time.

From there on my morale was really low, there was this very cute girl who was giving me very strong EC, but I didn't approach. Kept trying to dicide on direct or indirect in her case.

At one point, I spotted a girl dancing by herself near a table who looked like she was waiting to be approached. I decided, time to go direct and use the 3s rule! Looked straight at her and urged myself: "NOW!". But my legs immediately felt week and my knees started shaking, so I bailed. My body simply refused to obey my mind. That was interesting.

Finaly, I don't know how, two chicks started talking to one of my friends (the AFC). The one that was talking to him was tall and average looking, but her ass was INCREDIBLE, she seemed to be really digging him. Her friend though, was fukin' UGLY. Short and fat. We started a conversation. I just talked fluff with her to prevent her from cockblocking my friend. I gess I could have run some routines on her for practice, but I was unconfortable with her uglyness, I felt kind of embarrassed talking to her, and she seemed interested in me. Needless to say, my friend didn't manage to close the chick and they left.

Like I said, this was a MAJOR step for me, and I really want to keep practicing and get good at this. My performance was really poor but I think I can see how this can get me where I want to get. Now I'm out in the field! I feel like I have to thicken my skin, those rejections were pretty painfull. But here I am, all my limbs are intact and the sun still rises every morning.

I hope you didn't find the post too long and your feedback is extremely appreciated.

Cheers!
Author:  karlostm [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey man just read this. Firstly, massive kudos for growing the balls and going out there and approaching. At this stage all you want to focus on is opening and saying your lines. If you get the hang of it try and take it as far as you can until you get blown out or pull!

Secondly, two tips:

1. ALWAYS WARM UP

Do this by opening random people (male or female) on the street and asking them for the time / directions / any normal thing you think is appropriate. If this is going well try to start a conversation or throw in a joke. Do three of these (pref more) at least before going to your venue. It will help amazingly.

2. AIM TO GET BLOWN OUT

This is key, as the only way to avoid getting blow out is to eject (which you're not allowed to do) or pull...! ;o) But seriously, this will take the presure off you when you approach, and will mean that you're more likely to have fun. All things that will help you pull.

And... KEEP AT IT. The point where you give up is where you fail.

Oh, and LEARN FFROM YOUR MISTAKES, which are feedback actually (not really two points is it?). There's lots you can learn from the FR above, and I think you have, so well done for that.
Author:  stevenadrien [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah man good job!
Another thing, maybe they were blowing you off 4 secs in the conversation because you didn't have a good enough body language.
You might think it's a good, but it does wonders, as it portrays an aura of confidence.
Try it sometimes:
Chest out, shoulders back a little, hands at your side with your head straight ahead of you.
Author:  Orann [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
First up, as these guys have said already, Great Work on getting out there and starting approaching! That's by far the hardest step; getting out there for the first few times while you calibrate and getting blown out left right and centre. It happens.

The fact that you did this and learned from it is a major step, and you should be exited; you are now on your way.

A few points to consider for next time:
  • Be unnafected. When a girl gives you negative body language or a wrong look, JUST DONT CARE. This is a key point, and it's really hard to get the hang of, but showing that her normal "go away, I'm better than you" look doesnt work on you is a major DHV in itself. When she does it, laugh, be totally comfrotable and say to her friend next to her "Man, does she ALWAYS scowl like that? How do you hang out with her!". You can even say to her after this "I bet you're a U". and go into styles C's vs U's smiles routine.
    Go out looking to have fun, and if a girl tries to shut you down, be completley unaffected by it. This will net you hugeley better results.
  • Get yourself a good indirect opener and practice it, over and over again to yourself and friends. Just ask everyone and anyone that question until you have said it 20 times to people you know, and you can tell it without having to think about the words. Once you have this, go into set with it and concentrate on your body language.
  • As mentioned above, go into sets and Dont leave unless you get blown out. Just stay there untill they make it absolutley and directly clear that they want you to leave (I.e, they tell you "go away"). Use it to practice your material and DHV's. Just throw everyhting at them. Once you run out of things to say, start practicing asking questions as statements. ("You look about 23 to me" instead of "how old are you" for example).
    Do this simply for the practice, and for fun. See how long you can last before a blowout. Make it a competition against your friend. Both go into a set, adn the one that gets blown out first has to buy the other a drink or something. Do it for fun.

As I said, great work on starting, I hope you can really make the most of this oppourtunity and take this to the next level. Dont give up! It's hard to begin with for everyone.
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