Looking for first date feedback



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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2017 10:50 pm 
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Hey, guys, I hope this is the right place to post this. I just wanted to tell you about my first date with this girl yesterday and see what you think about how things went.

So I met her online. She's a couple years older than me and she's smart, funny and pretty. I know I'm putting myself down here and I'm not supposed to do that, but I continue to be amazed at what she sees in me lol (trying not to be). So anyway, we did coffee and a walk around town. I was nervous as all hell as I just got out of a 3-year relationship and actually still live with my ex. This new girl knows that and still agreed to go out with me. I'm kind of in that state of mind right now where I have nothing left to lose so I'm getting my ass out there to better myself. I'm currently doing the StyleLife Challenge as well.

Okay, so we're sitting there at coffee and she tells me about her last date and how she got to fly a PLANE. She tells me that she enjoyed the date, but not the guy. I tell her that I don't have any plane rides up my sleeve lol (it's a bit to compete with I might say, but I don't compete like that). Anyway, I think we really hit it off and there's a bunch of chemistry really early on. I'm sitting back, she's leaning in. She has me feel her sweater and keeps bumping into my leg (on accident?). I felt like I could've kissed her right there, but I held back because I was still being careful.

So after coffee, we go for a walk around town and to some shops. She walks really close to me. Despite my nerves, I'm keeping her laughing because I guess being silly is one of my natural qualities. I took way too long to escalate, but eventually, I got on my shit and grabbed her hand while we were walking. She seemed pretty happy after I did that. When she would tell me about stuff she would tap my arm and what not. It was great. So I drive her home at the end of the day and we get to her place and I go in for the kiss (I'm not that much of a pussy that I don't kiss on the first date), she gives me a quick smooch and a hug and says that she had a great time and then goes home.

So now I'm driving home thinking I blew it. I'm not too beat up about it though, I know how I was and I've been getting over the whole "oneitis" thing so my life is going to be getting better anyway. But then I get totally surprised because minutes after I leave she sends me a message on Match thanking me for being "such great company" and GIVES me her phone number. Once I get home we're texting and I tell her that I want to show her around my town next time and she says that she's looking forward to it and says that she wants to do Friday night (she laid out a bunch of days and I picked Friday and she seemed pretty happy about that). Basically anytime I suggest other things we could do together she always seems into it.

Can anybody tell me how I beat out plane guy? Lol. Oh, and what is your guys' advice as far as escalating from here goes? I could use some pointers.

Oh, and a few other details, as we were walking around town we would run into weird homeless people and stuff and they would try to talk to us and I would always handle it with a "no thanks". There was one guy who said that he was "spreading the hope" and I said "someone's got to" and he got a KICK out of it. She thought it was funny. Anyway, thought that might be relevant.

Hope you all enjoyed the essay, lol.


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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2017 4:48 am 
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It's not a best date competition dude. It sounds like she already likes you.

Not sure if you got the memo, but the going for the kiss as you drop her off at the doorstep thing is no longer an actual thing. You go for the kiss way earlier in the date while its still going strong. When you felt like you should've kissed her, you should've.

I know its tough and hindsight is 20/20. I mean if she does the turn away from the kiss rejection that is always awkward as fuck. However, if you're getting ioi's and kino, it seems like a prime opportunity if you ask me. But you can fix that next time, and forget about all that kissing at the end of the date nonsense. It's not 1959 anymore.

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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2017 1:29 pm 
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Lol, yeah I totally know it's not the 1950s anymore, which is why I'm glad I read seduction stuff. This is literally the only place for guys to go to learn to better themselves otherwise they're stuck with some outdated template they got from a movie. It's not completely our fault though because we're just not taught this stuff.

Anyway, yeah, I'll just take a chill pill and make up for it next time. I've kicked ass on dates before, that's how I ended up with my ex for 3 years, but I was more practiced at the time.

Any advice for escalation next time? Should I kiss her right when I see her, like I would a girlfriend? Break that barrier early on since I've already made that ground?


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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2017 1:39 am 
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Should I kiss her right when I see her, like I would a girlfriend? Break that barrier early on since I've already made that ground?
No. Kissing isn't something to get out of the way as soon as you can. It's a highpoint...sort of. Something to build up to. The only exception would be if it was during a cold approach and you had a fast pace interaction and you get a little kiss or something early on. With a girl you are dating its usually different.

What you need to do is build up that sexual tension so that it's almost unbearable, for her and you. You actually hold back from the kiss even once you get enough ioi's. You don't do it out of a lack of confidence, you do it because you are so overly confident that you know you can get the kiss at any time and you are letting her know you know that. She'll be waiting eagerly for it whenever you decide to deliver. Make her wait, play up the tension some more.

I typically will sit next to her and talk, then go quiet and just sort of stare into her eyes and give her that seductive manly look. Sounds gay I know, but it's legit. Bite your lower lip, exchange unspoken body language queues with her. Look down and look back up into her eyes again. It should be obvious that she is receptive at that point. But again, you have to own that shit. When you finally move in for the kiss you do it like a man who is taking what he deserves.

Give her a little kiss at first, maybe a couple small ones. But that should definitely turn into a mini or full on makeout session immediately after that. I mean that's like "the moment" right there. Everything sexual escalates and builds from that point onward.

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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2017 3:05 am 
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But what about the whole, "when I felt like I should have kissed her, I should've"? Shouldn't I just try that again? That would work.


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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2017 3:33 am 
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If that same type of moment presents itself, then yes, obviously you go for it. But I have a feeling you'll be waiting for it anxiously and get all in your head and be like "Now's the time!" and force something that isn't there. I dunno, my other suggestion is pretty solid if you can manage it. Whatever works best for you.

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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 1:30 am 
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I read that dominant males aren't afraid to take what they want. I feel like I haven't made it clear to this girl that I want her and I'm willing to take her, which is why I feel that the first thing I should do when I see her is kiss her. Make up for my shortcomings last time. Be a completely new, unafraid man. Is this really a bad idea without any IOIs? We went on that date last week where I kissed her and we talked on the phone twice this week. I feel like she's clearly interested in me and all I have to do is reach out and take what I want.

I've also been wondering if during phone calls and texting I should say stuff like, "hey you" and what not. I tried it once and she didn't seem to mind, but she didn't escalate back.


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