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| Botched the close >.< , What can I expect? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=176327 |
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| Author: | dinozzo925 [ Mon Mar 03, 2014 1:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | Botched the close >.< , What can I expect? |
So here's what happened. I was invited to a friend of a friend's mardi gras party last night. I was doing pretty well, had a horrible wing woman (she's an ex that became a friend and now has a fiancee, but she is pretty resentful that I sleep around) but I was compensating. This blonde walks in, knocks me off my feet. I introduce myself and get the attention of both her and her friend. They both seemed pretty lost, not too high self-esteem. Both want to work in international law/journalism and I work for Voice of America. I have a rip in my jeans, she uses that as an excuse to "check" my other knee. I leave the conversation because one of the guys that came with us needed help (too drunk), then later in the night she comes up to me and says hi. I say "lets play a game, I'll say something about myself and you tell me whether I'm telling the truth or not. You're right, I take a drink and vice versa…then it's your turn" (I like this game because it gives me a chance to brag without seeming like I'm purposefully bragging). She says ok, I start off easy with "I'm Jewish", she gets it right but then on her turn the mother hen comes over and starts to talk with her, so I turn to another girl sitting next to me. While we're talking she keeps looking over and maintaining eye contact. I tell my wing-woman I've got this in the bag. Right after my friends want to head out and I'm their ride. Right before we're going to leave I walk over to her and say "Hey C, I really enjoyed talking to you tonight and would like to see you again sometime. Why don't I give you my number and I can show you around where I work in the Public Broadcasting building and then drinks?" She says yes, but that her phone is on the other side of the room. I frown and say mines dead (it's not, but for some reason I drunkenly think it's a good idea to give her my number instead of the other way around). She walks over, gets her phone and asks "so do you spell your name the normal way or-" And here's the fucked up part, as she says that my wing woman pops up behind me and says "you spell it S-L-U-T", I chuckle and say that's so original, then give her my number. For some reason I repeat "tour and drinks next week, ok later". I don't go in for the kiss or hug because we're surrounded by friends we know. It's the end of the next day and I've gotten nothing. Looking back I'd say my fuck ups were 1) walking away from the conversation early, without building enough rapport 2) Not insisting on getting her number instead giving mine 3) Getting blindsided by my wing woman. Any other tips? / Has anyone had luck hearing from a girl more than a day after the encounter? |
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| Author: | Stockmeister [ Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Botched the close >.< , What can I expect? |
I'm from the Netherlands, so I have absolutely no idea what a mardi gras party is. Anyhow, I've taken a look at your fuck ups and I don't really think its all that bad actually. Leaving a conversation early isn't necessarily a bad thing. Showing her that you went to help your mate gives her a) the feeling that you care about people, which is good, and b) you didn't put the pussy on the pedestal, which is also good. I didn't feel your vibe, so I don't know if you had built enough rapport. She talked to you later in the evening so at least she was interested. Giving her your number instead of getting hers is kind of a mistake. Women want men to start the interaction, the want to feel wanted. Tip for the next time, don't tell her that your phone is dead. Just whip it out and get her number. Keep the initiative on your side. As for the wing woman, you're ex, really? I'm not judging, let that be clear, but it might be a better idea to get one of your mates to be your wing. Teach him what you want him to do, make sure you don't CB him and both of you'll be fine. BTW, it really sound like your wing just CB'ed you. If she doesn't call of text in the next couple days, maybe the next week, just leave it be. Move on to the next one. It's not that bad. Plenty of fish in the sea. The one thing that bugs me is that you let her off so easily when the mother hen came. If you don't know the mother hen introduce yourself, otherwise start a conversation with her as well. You can chat with both at the same time and after a while just say to the mother hen: "Would you mind if I flirt with blondie over here for a couple of minutes?" Mother hen can't really say no to that and it also shows interest in blondie. Maybe you could try that next time. |
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| Author: | GamesSN [ Mon Mar 03, 2014 5:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Botched the close >.< , What can I expect? |
Should have just got her number. Personally I don't like the whole "I work here, I can [GIVE THIS TO YOU IF YOU AGREE]| show you around this place you're really interested in." Sounds a lot like bartering to me but it's not bad. It's just how I see it. I tend to just cut to the chase and not give an excuse for a meet up, just lay it out and tell her we should meet up. Just the n-close was terrible in my opinion, everything else was fine except it sounds like you didn't dedicate enough time with her to gain comfort and rapport, then again i'm guessing your story is condensed and your interaction consists of more than "Hot girl walks in. Say 'Hi.' Play game for 2 minutes then talk to other girl. Talk again then leave and ask for number." Anyway, i'm guessing you did it right because she must have been into you enough for you to feel comfortable getting her number/giving her your number. So, from what you've said you just should have gotten her number and text her a day or two later. Chances are this chick is going to call or text you in the next three days so don't think too into it and don't jump to message her back straight away. If she doesn't then nothing gained, nothing lost. |
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| Author: | dinozzo925 [ Tue Mar 04, 2014 12:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Botched the close >.< , What can I expect? |
She messaged me today, looks like it wasn't as big a fuck-up as I thought. Rest of the conversation is below if anyone cares enough to give me advice. I'm having trouble getting her to talk about herself SPAM. -Hey this is C from the party on saturday - Hey, it's really good to hear from you (she seems to have low self-esteem, so I'm trying to build her up a bit). How is your snow day going? - Pretty good. Just hanging out at home with my roommates. Yours? - Productive, oddly…until I let my dog out in the snow. He's a (my dogs breed) and I didn't realize that the snow would stick to his dreads…my house now looks like Sam the Snow Man died in it. - Haha. Well at least it'll melt away. - (picture of my puppy, wet) Exactly, and now he's wet enough that I can use him to mop the floor ^_^ - Haha. That's one way to clean up. |
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| Author: | Donston [ Tue Mar 04, 2014 3:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Botched the close >.< , What can I expect? |
Hooking up with her will solidify the number. Doing everything you can to hook up with her will increase that chance for a solid number. You should tried to pull the girl as far as you can for the pull. Only when you can't pull the girl is when you get the number. Check lists for same night lay: 1) Find out logistics. - "Who she here with", "How did she get here", "Where does she live", "Does she have to wake up early tomorrow", "Is she a virgin", "how drunk is she" ... 2) Befriend her friends. - When you ask the logistical question, "Who are you here with and how do you know them?" - Knowing her relationship with who she with can help you strategize how to win them. - Tell her to introduce you to them ... having her introduce you will make friends trust you more because they can't go against the girl! - This will prevent her friends to talk bad about you later on the future making her resent giving you the number or making her feel like a slut. - Befriend the friends to the point that they are cheering for your to sleep with her or hook up .... or at least let them know your name :p ... 3) Lead - Isolate or mini bounce the girl at least a minimum of one! The more mini bounces will increase her trust in you and make you more like a couple. - This will increase your chance on pulling her out of the venue since she is now comfy with you leading. - You can mini bounce by getting her to introduce to her friends, outside, to sit down, to meet your friends, to get a drink, 5 feet away from your original spot ... - This produces an adventures feel to the night ... also increase chances of her leaving with you :p .. 4) The preview: - Isolate where no one can see you and you guys are alone. Demonstrate what would you do when you guys are alone and in bed. - Either sexual talk to, pull her hair and hardcore make out, etc etc ... - This prevents LMR ... now she knows that her going home with you is not so you can have an awkward talk there. She will know that you didn't pull your wee wee out for air. She will not be surprised that you have wee wee ... 5) decisive pull ... - Either walk her home/drive her home ... get food ... baby step to your place or her place ... - If it is at her place ... once you get there .... ask to use the washroom or something ... - Be the last dick standing! Meaning be the last person with her at the end of the night! - At least do whatever it takes to leave the venue! - If you can't pull ... then get the number. By now you have done everything you can but you just couldn't pull ... normally this is due to logistical reasons. Boom ... Sure way for same night lay check list of doom! Have fun, Donston PS: .... :p |
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| Author: | textytext [ Tue Mar 04, 2014 5:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Botched the close >.< , What can I expect? |
ok i was waiting to see how this went before chiming in. your ex-unknowingly validated you (she didn't mean to because she was trying to cockblock you). the girl contacted you so now you have her information and she showed you a huge IOI by initiating contact. don't let the texting get to friendly. arrange to meet her and don't be compelled to give her a tour or whatever original excuse you used in the first place. basically forget everything about the first encounter. now you arrange for a one on one with her. date is fine but try for something like dinner or movie at YOUR PLACE or HER PLACE (if she does not have roommates). if the conversation gets too long and friendly you can endup in the friend zone. Just remember she is clearly interested in you, AT THIS POINT, so act like it. Figure out what you want from her, create the opportunity and convey what you want (verbally and/or nonverbally) to her so that she can decide if she wants to participate. |
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| Author: | dinozzo925 [ Wed Mar 05, 2014 3:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Botched the close >.< , What can I expect? |
Well, crap man. Here's the update. We've been texting pretty consistently back and forth. Last night she dropped out of the conversation randomly, but then this morning she texted me an apology for leaving mid-conversation. I texted back a curt "No worries" and then she followed up by asking me how my day was going at work, I let her sweat for an hour or so. Again, I forced her to initiate the conversation and she did, which seems to be another pretty big IOI. I also solidified our date. I'm taking her downtown for sushi and then to a bar where my guitar teacher plays. No tour of my office, she didn't even ask when I failed to mention it. We talked throughout the day, it seems like she's the type who flirts with insults so I've done a pretty good job of negging her back (she insulted my skills as a musician, I told her I had something to show her and sent her a picture of her contact card on my phone…with her last name listed as "pretentious"). Just recently she was texting me back almost immediately after I would message her, but I fucked up again by letting her end the conversation (she said "I'm going to head to bed, see you thursday" right out of the blue, I responded "Yeah, we'll say *time*, night"…it seemed forced on her end). So, I think so far so good. On the one hand I see what textytext is saying, but I doubt she could possibly think I just want to be friends. I've been pretty upfront about being interested in her, and I'll make that clear when I see her Thursday. Texting today and yesterday let me build up the rapport I was missing from our first encounter, and her style seems to be to roll over other men…which I haven't let her do. I want to keep her chasing, so I'm going to keep contact VERY light tomorrow and Thursday (I'll need to just touch base so that she knows I'm showing up to our date, and that my interest is high enough that it's worth her time). My style has never been to push girls too far out of their comfort zone on the first date, especially if I like them. I want her to think of this as a romantic encounter, not a sexual one. If I do anything too physical with her before she gets to know me she'll just feel guilty I'm sure. I want this girl to fall in love with me, not just fuck me (I have other girls for that). That means this night has to end with a good kiss, but that's it. The only thing that worries me at this point is how deadpan she is. When I met her at the party she seemed like a girl with low self-esteem and slightly introverted. Over text she's been coming out as a pretty dominant personality. She doesn't give out much validation, if any at all…which would worry me if she did not make a point to keep pulling me back into conversation. I get the feeling that she's trying to play me as hard as I'm trying to play her and I've just gotten the upper hand by the skin of my teeth…the date's going to get tiring if I have to keep crossing swords with her all night. This is one of the harder games I've played by far. I can't let her dominate me, I've got to keep her surprised/entertained and I can't let myself get too relaxed…which is going to be very tough because not only do I like her but I know she has interest in me too. Any first date tips for dinner and drinks would be appreciated. Thanks |
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| Author: | dinozzo925 [ Wed Mar 05, 2014 5:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Botched the close >.< , What can I expect? |
She just asked if we could move to tomorrow, which is easier for me so I said yes. |
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| Author: | dinozzo925 [ Thu Mar 06, 2014 8:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Botched the close >.< , What can I expect? |
Dates over: She asked me up to her room when I dropped her off…and I said no. She knows I have a gig tomorrow, I'd put money down on her tagging along. I'll take her to my place after. |
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