I think you are right, the more I just relax and don't think too hard, the better I do ( and the less awkward it is). Last night I kiss closed with a girl who previously had me on her LJBF list. I might still be there because, after all, it was mother's day and her emotions were prob running wild, but it's still awesome. I didn't think, I didn't freeze up, I just went for it. Back to the beginning:
About three years ago I was introduced to a dancer ( no not that kind
. We went on a few dates and talked on the phone all the time. This was before I learned anything about PU, so it was all your stereotypical AFC stuff, listening to her problems on the phone, buying her gifts, dinner, etc. Made out a few times but never got close to the f close. Then out of the blue there was the LJBF coversation. I took it like a man, mainly cause I was feeling like it wasn't going anywhere ( which it wasn't, I had supplicated too much n pushed her away) we stayed friends, and talked occasionally here and there, merry Xmas etc. This was the first time I stayed friends w someone I dated. About two months ago, after at least six months of no contact, totally out of the blue, she called me to talk. I had just started seeing someone (my latest, and last AFC ruination) We bsed like old times for a bit, talked about the people we were dating, At the end of our conversation she expressed regret that we never went any further. Instead of being silly and saying something AFC and butthurt about how she LJBF, I actually made comments about how those we good times/ feelings and smoothed it over and ejected from the convo asap.
Fast forward three months. I had just finished AFCing my way out of the best sex I had ever had with my oneitis. LJBF texted me out of the blue to what I was doing. She ended up meeting up with me later on to see my band play. We sat at the bar and I started to run game on her a bit, started mild kino, used emotional conversation, didnt pay for shit, etc. She only stayed for half the set, but the goodbye hug I got was more like a squirrel climbing a tree. I was so surprised I didn't even grab her ass or try to kiss her (AFC all the way, dammit) I know she's seeing somebody and I wasn't trying to BF destroy, but after all the time reading this PUA stuff I should really know better
Fast forward two weeks. I had been (and still am) keeping the texting/ calling to a minimum. We were talking about mothers day plans and brought up a place we used to go as a nice restaurant to take my mom to. AFC me would have prob let this go, but now I understand she was practically screaming in my ear: "I want you to take me out" So I did. I had her meet me up there for a drink after mother's day dinner, but they were closing soon. I said I didn't really feel like going home yet and she took the bait and we headed down the street to another spot. I bought the drinks, she paid for desert. Easy, natural conversation, more kino, escalation to waist/ hip and leg. Sitting next to instead of across from was the smartest thing I have done yet. I just made a little head move like hey scoot over and she totally did.
When it was time to say goodbye, she hugged me and tried to kiss me on the cheek.I pulled my head back just enough and caught her a solid one on the lips instead. Her crooked little smile afterward made me give her a couple more. I really think she needs/wants/deserves a spectacular f-close from me, but doesn't want or expect a full on relationship. Time to make it happen!