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mats journal
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Author:  hammers [ Sun Nov 11, 2012 4:50 pm ]
Post subject:  mats journal

Hey all, as the title suggests i'm starting my own journal. I've been out approaching today and I learnt a few things and it has helped me to have a new straegy to improve my game. I started off nervously didn't approach for a while but certainly felt better about myself when i did start to approach. The approaches could have gone better was blown out quite quickly, so this got me to thinking of why? it may have been that she was busy or had a boyfriend but this has happened quite alot, so therefore i'm thinking that my body language is wrong whilst approaching but at least I did approach! Therefore the new plan is to do as follows:

for inner game
Continue meditation
continue the 10 day challenge, this has been working well up to now 5 days in a row well done me
maintain eye contact with people for longer
positive chant
outer game
maintain eye contact whilst approaching
look for things in the environment to comment on (if possible)
in order to improve my conversational skills approach in shops aswell during the day, can be more casual that way
speak to people more often in general and push conversations
smile more whilst approaching!
look forward to implementing these aspects and reporting back soon. Hammers.

Author:  hammers [ Tue Nov 20, 2012 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: mats journal

Hey all quick update on how things have been going i went into town on saturday for some shopping got some new clothes and a new image but whilst doing so got into some conversations with the shop assistants not to sarge but just to improve the skill set. I noticed it was actually quite easy conversation probably becuase i wasnt trying to sarge and it just went through quite naturally. I then started just to say hi to random people in the street i actually found this harder than approaching odly enough but things are going well taking things step by step feel that i need to do some recordings though whilst out approaching just so i can see why things aren't really working out aswell as i'd like, if anyone has any good ways of doing this let me no. I went out on saturday for a few drinks and got blown out really easily again so frustrating! i've made a committment to the game so i'm not going to stop approaching but smiling just isn't happening on the approach taking it way too seriously!

Author:  hammers [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 10:48 pm ]
Post subject:  inner game

hey there ive decided to add more some things to help me with my inner game firstly im going to start doing incantations before going out something i no lots of successful people are doing wether it wotks for pick up im not sure but its worth a go im also going to be using visualisation techniques in.order to keep myself motivated and give myself enough leverage to not only go out sarging but to consistently go.out and consistently carry on inspite of any set backs. ill do this by visualising madsive amounts of pain towards not sarging and massive amounts of pleasure towards approaching. the other thing i need to do in orfer to succeed is to get rid of the limiting beliefs which are holding me back for example not being smart enough to keep a conversation going and get tje girl. if anyones got any ideas pn how to get rid of limiting beliefs could you reply to this post please

Author:  Boyo [ Thu Dec 20, 2012 12:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: mats journal

Ok bud, that isnt quite what i was looking for. First off i recommend you work on your grammar and spelling. It makes it much easier for yourself and others to read.
I'm not sure whether you understand what im trying to get you to do (although my text was pretty clear and massive!)
So ive made a template for you to work on, this is roughly how it should go (although its your journal so change/mod it how you want)
These lists to fill in below should be detailed, thought-through and thorough. It really should take you a good while to write all of it. This is your new life plan. Write down every step to your new success.

Journal Template: 20th of Dec '12

My Asipirations:
Andy Murray because he has these attributes:
Person B because of these values he follows:
Person C because: (etc...)
These are the type of people you can use for inspiration and motivation. Also something to aim for.

End Objectives:
I aim to reach a top level in tennis (or whatever):
I will achieve this by: training 2 times more a week, with a more tailored fitness program

I aim to be able to talk to any girl and be able to talk to her without hesitation:
I will do this by first solving my inner game
Then i will read and work on approaching. I will record and review where i am going wrong.
and so forth.

I want to solve my inner game problems:

This list should be pretty extensive and detailed. Each end target should have lots of sub targets. A step by step guide for yourself to follow. Remember bud, reach your target carrying out detailed and directed small steps.

Week Objectives:
I will read and learn these things:
the-newbie-guide-vt135638.html
Im going to read Boyo's journal for my inspiration how to direct myself, learn from his mistakes and take some objectives from it (such as the list what to look for in a girl)
-find a tailored fitness program
I will attempt to carry out the newbie challenge.
I will attempt to approach a few girls and review it.

What i achieved this week:

I have learnt this X subject from this source X (ie chiefs guide to outer game or something. write your thoughts about it and how you're going to use it)

I did approached X amount of girls this week, this is how it went:

Girl A:
How it happened: (give a full description of the events, if possible what you and see said, what you thought about your and her body language. Literately try to decipher everything.)

I did this good:

Where i went wrong:

What to do next time/how to improve

Girl B: (repeat girl A)

I learnt this from my inner game sessions:



Lastly remember to preview your journal before you post. Check for grammar and spelling again (doesn't have to be immaculate however)
Try to review and look at your journal 2 to 3 times a week. Make sure you write down all efforts and anything you learn. Review and amend your objectives often, you will want to achieve more as you progress i guarantee you.
I look forward to your amended Journal.

Regards,

Boyo

Author:  hammers [ Thu Dec 27, 2012 1:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: mats journal

Hey I am Matthew and I am 26 years old.

My goals are to;

Ultimately find the one (and have fun whilst trying to find her)
Improve my social skills in general and be able to connect with people more effectively.
Decrease social anxieties. I worry about embarrassing myself in front of people men or women. I am also not very comfortable when saying nothing either.
Improve eye contact whilst approaching
Improve approach during the day by making sure I give more distance between myself and the girl, to open confidently and smile during the approach.
Be able to pick up on other people’s body language i.e. whether she seems interested or not. I will do this simply by going out and testing and to read some books on body language as well.
Learn some openers, approaching indirect as well as direct.

Each week I will;
Go out 3 times a week.
Analyse approaches, stating what has worked well and what I need to improve.
Stay in the moment whilst approaching
Write in my journal twice a week.


To improve my inner game I will;

use incantations before going out and find out different ways to get in to state that are relevant to myself for example I realised the other day the way you walk can actually affect your mood walking quicker can actually make a difference.

Meditate for 30 minutes a day

Use visualisation techniques, visualising massive reward for approaching and massive pain for failing to.
Complete the 10 day challenge and continue to think positively (even when an approach has gone badly)
Figure out why certain things are irritating me way more than they should such as a bad approach.
Decrease fear of failure.
Complete newbie tasks.

Whilst I am sorting out some goals I might as well extend this for other areas of my life.

Financial

By the end of this year I will be earning 100 pound a week more than I am now. I will do his by;
Gaining more tennis coaching hours.
Constantly evaluating my coaching, write evaluations down.
Increase cost of sessions

Improve my work skills in teaching assistant post by;
Being more proactive at work.
Improve voice projection/tonality.
Improve my listening skills.
Improve concentration span, using meditation techniques
Gaining advice from others and attending courses.

University

To pass the first year of my degree course by September 2013 I will do this by;
Reading recommended books for each module
Speak to tutors about ways I can improve my work.
Brain storm ideas for assignments.
Listen more attentively and use more visual cues when writing notes in lectures.

Author:  hammers [ Fri Dec 28, 2012 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: mats journal

so I set out to complete the newbie mission, groomed myself and went into town. The mission was actually harder than I thought however I did smile and say hello to 5 random strangers, whilst doing this I learnt a valuable lesson, one I already knew but didn't realise exactly how powerful it was. Everytime I was half hearted in saying hello I got a half hearted response but alot of the times when I was more confident whilst saying hello the girls actually thought I knew them from somewhere 1 even had a little conversation with me. Small steps but as long as i'm taking action i'm happy. Going to go out again on Sunday to complete the mission properly. I seemed to have problems smiling at them at times maybe due to feeling slightly awkward.

Author:  hammers [ Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: mats journal newbie mission

hey all i went into town today to say hello to 10 random strangers cant believe how nervous i was doing this. I wassmiling more than last time but felt really awkward speaking to random people tgey lookedlike they were awkwardwith the situation too. but i did manage to speak to 10 ppl so well done me!

Author:  hammers [ Thu Jan 03, 2013 11:57 pm ]
Post subject:  new years eve, being happy and sociable

Hey all writing to you in a much happier mood! I went out for new year in a good mood, just wanted to have a few drinks, a good time and make a couple of approaches. So we went to the first pub and I thought lets not waste any time so I opened a woman on the dancefloor who was with five friends, with a compliment opener. Then one of her friends decided to start taking some photos so we messed about making some stupid poses. Then after that I went back talking to her and her friends. This always seems easier to do on new years as there's so much more to talk about resolutions and all that stuff. So after a while of talking I k closed her and then at midnight one of her friends. So after a while we left the pub and went on somewhere else. (I was thinking they were slightly too old for me to go any further than a k close with). Then as we were walking to the next pub I wished someone a happy new year. Then I got another k close. at this point we went on to the next place were I was talking to alot of random people, jumping into people's photos and generally just having a good time. I then approached a woman on the dancefloor and got a friend of mine to take a few pictures and put them on facebook. Then as I was going home I said happy new year to another woman and got a k close in the street but I forgot to get her number so I ran after her and her friend, told them I had a house warming party and if they wanted to they could come round for some cocktails. My night then ended in a number close.
I learnt alot from the night; to try and be sociable with everyone, to always try to close and to aim to be in as good a state as possible. happy new year everyone. hammers.

Author:  hammers [ Mon Jan 07, 2013 7:58 am ]
Post subject:  weekly goals

Hey there, it's the first week of all new year so I thought this would be a great time to start to set some weekly goals. I looked at my year goals and have come up with the following;

To complete the newbie mission
To go out three times a week
To approach at least once during the day
Stay in the moment whilst approaching, afterwards I will write down what was said during the interaction.
Approach at night using direct and indirect openers again stay in the moment and write down parts of the interaction.
write down anything that has worked well and not so well whilst practising game and during work, at uni and whilst tennis coaching

For inner game;
meditate for 30 minutes a day
Use incantations before going out
use visualisation techniques before going out
If something irritates me in a big way during the week write it down and figure out why this is happening

Tennis
Learn how to string a tennis using an electric stringing machine in order to earn more money
Increase coaching hours by getting in touch with people in order to do some after school clubs

University

Work on assignment for 5 hours this week
speak to tutors if I have any problems
use visual cues whilst taking notes

Author:  Boyo [ Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: mats journal

Matt,

Firstly good effort on your frequent visits to the journal. Getting into the habit makes the process much easier and less of a chore.

Your latest post is by far the best of all your entries (apart from the first so far) something like that should be done one a week to re-review your weekly goals, end goals and so forth.

You entries previous to this aren't constructive enough. You have merely written down what you have done, try to review and highlight what you did good, bad and will do better next time. Add this "next time" to your goals to practice if possible.

With that post of "i did talk to those 10 people": again, pick out the best and worst ones. Not necessarily all 10.

Lastly, i havent seen any mention of material learnt yet, especially from the newbie guide. There is a lot of content on there, ensure you keep educating yourself, try to balance practising game with learning. So far it appears you just go out and practice with no new material. Ensure you write down, consolodate and review what you learn in your journal. (for example today i learn about why looks don't matter, this is because: xxx, i now understand this and can apply it because: xxx)

Keep up the good work bud.

Regards,

Chris

Author:  hammers [ Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:06 pm ]
Post subject:  weekly goals and evaluation of last week

Hey there, seen as though it's a new week I thought I would evaluate the goals I set last week and make a few changes for this week. The first goal I set myself was to complete the newbie mission. As this was more difficult than I first thought I started off by saying hello to 5 people then by the end of the week I managed to approach 20 people. I found that when I smiled and said hello in a confident manner I got more of a reaction from the girl i.e. they would often stop thinking do I know this guy. If I performed the task in a less confident way the girl would just keep walking.

My next task was to go out three times, which I managed to achieve. The first two times were to complete the newbie mission then I went out on my own and made a couple of approaches which i'll talk about later.

My next task was to make a day time approach. Unfortunately I wasn't able to complete the task. I began to make the excuse of having a wingman next week and thought it would be easier to achieve this then and add to the number of approaches I make that day.

My next task was to approach at night time using direct and indirect openers. This I managed to achieve but I wasn't able to sustain the interactions long enough to write something of any note about them. One thing I have learnt this week though is that although I prefer to open directly I think I need to be opening indirectly most of the time to begin with and learn/relearn some routines and openers. Even though I dislike this style I feel it will start the conversation off on a better footing.

I have started to write a diary answering questions about anything that I have done well during the day and need to improve on. I have then started to write down how I could improve in these areas.

For inner game;
I have managed to committ to meditation for 30 minutes each day except for Sunday when I was busy with college work and badly needed some sleep.
I have been using incantations before going out. Not sure whever this works or not as being pumped up isn't always the best mood to be in when approaching. This is something I will keep reviewing.

I didn't using any visualisation techniques before going out. This is something I need to do in future. This reason for this was that I didn't look at my goals every day so therefore forgot what some of them were.

When it comes to writting down anything that has irritated me during the day and figuring out why, I need to add this to my list of evening questions. I also need to add the opposite, if anything has made me happy during the day in order to keep me thinking positively and also so I can change my state into a happy one when i'm slightly peeved at something.

Tennis;

When it comes to tennis my goals were simple this week to learn how to string a racket to earn some more sterling and to get in touch with people in order to gain some more hours. These goals were straight forward and met rather easily.

University;

For my uni work I managed to work on my assignment for 5 hours this week. Whilst doing this I also learnt some things on academic writting which will help me with future assignments. I didn't have any problems last week so therefore didn't need to speak to any of my tutors and I used visual cues to anetate work.


This week my objectives are to;

Game;
learn and relearn some material. This is vital for me as I am often running out of things to say. Learn some text game as well.
Again to go out three times.
To approach three times during the day. Having a wingman will definitely help me to do this.
To stay in the moment whilst approaching, afterwards I will write down what has been said during the interaction.
Approach at night using direct and indirect methods.

inner game
Write down anything that has worked well and things I could improve on during work, uni, with women e.t.c
Write down anything that has made me happy and anything that has irritated me.
meditate for 30 minutes a day
use incantations before going out
use visualisation techniques

tennis
string another tennis racket to improve skills
aim to increase coaching hours by getting in touch with other clubs

Author:  hammers [ Tue Jan 29, 2013 8:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: mats journal

Hey guys, unfortunately for the last couple of weeks I have fallen off the wagon of self development but fortunately I can make a new start this week. Here are my goals for the week.

Theory: Learn/relearn some more openers, involving groups and one sets. To learn/relearn more about mid game, again with one sets and groups, day and night game.

Outergame: To go out three times this week and make at least 10 approaches, including one day game approach, with the aim of staying in the present, opening confidently, during day game give more space between myself and the girl, ensure this by starting with a light kino and holding my arm out (technique i've seen by many mpuas).

Inner game: meditation and visualisation techniques. Evaluate and analyse how approaches have gone. To start on the 10 day challenge although i'll be extending this to 30 days.
Everyday answer my evening questions and write them down. things that have made me happy today and why? Things that have irritated me and why? are these things really that important? What did I learn today? What Did I do well today? What did I give Today and how was today an investment in my future? Make a compeling vision for my long term goals and sort out any possible inner conflicts.

Other areas of life:
Tennis
To string another tennis racket to improve skills
improve volleys by hitting the ball deeper, improving anticipation skills, moving across earlier on the volley and improve smashes by being able to hit more winners from overheads.
Promote myself at the club to gain more coaching hours.
Financial/Career
Find out in general what I would like to do in terms of a career.
For university discussion and presentation so i'm completely up to date in this area. Set out a plan for the next module of assignments.
physiology: To use my body in subtle ways to improve my state.

Hobbies: To run 4 times this week including a 10 miler.
To practice my guitar for 3 hours.

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