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| Is this a rejection?? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=135074 |
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| Author: | NML [ Fri May 04, 2012 10:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is this a rejection?? |
Hey there folks, a question. Sorry if this is long. In the BDSM Fetish scene in London we have monthly get-togethers called munches where we go to a pub and talk to each other. Last month a German girl was there, I went up to her and we started talking. She was very very nervous because this was her first event in the BDSM scene and she's not sure what she likes yet (switch/top/bottom/domme/sub). I could see her eyes darting around the room sometimes and I said "I think you're scared in case you meet someone you know here" which she agreed with. She said "I'm going to the toilet", to which I thought "Oh great, she's off!" but she said "I'll be back". While she was away I moved to the bar to buy myself a drink but she came back before I got served, and couldn't find me so I waved her over and offered to buy her a drink (she accepted). Yeah I know you're not meant to do that but it felt wrong not to in these circumstances. A mixed group quickly joined us (it turns out they'd been talking to her before I arrived) and took her off to another club. At the most recent munch - just a few days ago - she came back and she came to talk to me as she arrived. She immediately offered me a drink and I said I'd give her the money for it. but she refused because she remembered I'd bought her a drink last month. We speak for about 10 minutes and I start touching her, at first almost accidentally on the arm and later on her middle back as if to 'support her'. She asked me a couple of questions about stuff we'd started to talk about at the previous munch, a month ago. I was relatively impressed that she actually remembered that stuff. Anyways I got her e-mail address and proceeded to mingle and talk with other friends there. I e-mailed her the next day telling her that I enjoyed our conversation and that I hope her second munch was enjoyable, and then asked if she wanted to go for Code: Hey ,
Hope you had a fun second munch, and met lots of interesting people. I really enjoyed our talk, but I think I'll be brushing up on my German before the next one! How's your weekend looking? Would you like to meet for a coffee?
By the way there are a couple of laid back scene events you may be interested in this weekend. There's the London Alternative Market on Sunday, and also Perves in the Park on Monday.
to which I got the reply,Code: Hey ,
How are you?
Yes, I had a good time on my second munch. It is always really interesting!
I would like to explore some more things like the Market on Sunday, but I am afraid my schedule is kind of tight right now with the exams and everything. Sorry about that.
She does have exams for the next couple of weeks she had mentioned this when we talked so it's not total BS on her part, but I feel like it's a reject or perhaps a LJBF. My SPAM (both girls) think that she's genuinely too busy and that'll 'take time'.Could I get advice from people on here please? Thanks, NML. |
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| Author: | crowdude [ Fri May 04, 2012 11:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I'd just play it cool, tbh...there's not much else you can do. Who cares if it's a rejection? Who cares if it's not? Either way you have to wait. Just email back passively like "ah ok, good luck on your exams, inabit Just don't act needy but don't act like a dick just because she may (or may not) have rejected you. |
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| Author: | NML [ Sat May 05, 2012 12:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: I'd just play it cool, tbh...there's not much else you can do. Who cares if it's a rejection? Who cares if it's not? Either way you have to wait.
Thanks for the reply. I find it really difficult to read girls, to tell if they're into me or not. I just cannot tell, so I need "calibration" I think.Just email back passively like "ah ok, good luck on your exams, inabit Just don't act needy but don't act like a dick just because she may (or may not) have rejected you. If her e-mail is a "get away from me" e-mail then I don't want to creep her out by replying. |
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| Author: | killermunkyz [ Sat May 05, 2012 2:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a rejection?? |
Quote: Hey there folks, a question. Sorry if this is long.
That's not a rejection or LJBF, that's legit. She's busy. Wait a while and reconnect later. Go out and meet others. you still have a chance.
In the BDSM Fetish scene in London we have monthly get-togethers called munches where we go to a pub and talk to each other. Last month a German girl was there, I went up to her and we started talking. She was very very nervous because this was her first event in the BDSM scene and she's not sure what she likes yet (switch/top/bottom/domme/sub). I could see her eyes darting around the room sometimes and I said "I think you're scared in case you meet someone you know here" which she agreed with. She said "I'm going to the toilet", to which I thought "Oh great, she's off!" but she said "I'll be back". While she was away I moved to the bar to buy myself a drink but she came back before I got served, and couldn't find me so I waved her over and offered to buy her a drink (she accepted). Yeah I know you're not meant to do that but it felt wrong not to in these circumstances. A mixed group quickly joined us (it turns out they'd been talking to her before I arrived) and took her off to another club. At the most recent munch - just a few days ago - she came back and she came to talk to me as she arrived. She immediately offered me a drink and I said I'd give her the money for it. but she refused because she remembered I'd bought her a drink last month. We speak for about 10 minutes and I start touching her, at first almost accidentally on the arm and later on her middle back as if to 'support her'. She asked me a couple of questions about stuff we'd started to talk about at the previous munch, a month ago. I was relatively impressed that she actually remembered that stuff. Anyways I got her e-mail address and proceeded to mingle and talk with other friends there. I e-mailed her the next day telling her that I enjoyed our conversation and that I hope her second munch was enjoyable, and then asked if she wanted to go for Code: Hey ,
Hope you had a fun second munch, and met lots of interesting people. I really enjoyed our talk, but I think I'll be brushing up on my German before the next one! How's your weekend looking? Would you like to meet for a coffee?
By the way there are a couple of laid back scene events you may be interested in this weekend. There's the London Alternative Market on Sunday, and also Perves in the Park on Monday.
to which I got the reply,Code: Hey ,
How are you?
Yes, I had a good time on my second munch. It is always really interesting!
I would like to explore some more things like the Market on Sunday, but I am afraid my schedule is kind of tight right now with the exams and everything. Sorry about that.
She does have exams for the next couple of weeks she had mentioned this when we talked so it's not total BS on her part, but I feel like it's a reject or perhaps a LJBF. My SPAM (both girls) think that she's genuinely too busy and that'll 'take time'.Could I get advice from people on here please? Thanks, NML. |
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| Author: | NML [ Sat May 05, 2012 11:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: That's not a rejection or LJBF, that's legit. She's busy. Wait a while and reconnect later. Go out and meet others. you still have a chance.
I need to get better at understanding girl I think. The reason I thought it was a rejection is the following. I said I enjoyed talking with her and she said that the munch was interesting (i.e. not our conversation). I invited her to coffee and she actually ignored that particular invite and said that she'd be interested in going to the market, which I also mentioned. Finally the 'sorry about that' sounds a little like a rejection. Am I just over-analysing??
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| Author: | crowdude [ Sat May 05, 2012 1:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
There's not such thing as a rejection, just a delayed acceptance Don't worry about it man, if you over-analyse you can come to ANY conclusion from anything, for example: You said that her "sorry about that" sounds like a rejection, but it can also be construed as her genuinely being sorry because she cares about you and didn't want to let you down. Don't over-analyse, this girl may or may not get back to you, just ignore it until then and get on with your life! |
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