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| FR: Screw the PUA personality https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=124284 |
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| Author: | Domr [ Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | FR: Screw the PUA personality |
Let's start with a little bit about myself. I got into the community back in late 2005 at the young age of 15. Of course being in high school and being MASSIVELY under-socialized (e.g. never kissed a girl, went to a party with alcohol/drugs, etc) made be a fucking KJ online and a loser/weirdo in real life. A few months ago I made a RADICAL breakthrough... drum roll please... I was finally able to start calibrating. With that ability I've made more improvements in the last month than the last 6 years. So without further ado my report. At the bank I noticed two HBs. Both my age and both HB8+. One was a stylish tall blonde, basically a popular girl in high school type, and the other was a more edgy punk/pop redhead (ginger) - she was more of my type so I was instantly attracted to her. Now instead of approaching straight up like my PUA training demanded I went and filled out the deposit ticket and then stood in line. While in line I overheard them talking about shoes and I noticed a tat on her foot. Bingo easy situational opener. She explains it and without asking tells me about another one she's getting later on her finger, I ask what it is and she say it's something dumb. So I tried a bit of c&f and asked if its her bf's initials or something like that. She said no... after which my mind goes blank... At this point even tho the conversation isn't very good on paper I can feel the IOIs and know I COUDD get a #close but I can't force myself to do it. They goto the teller and then a few (20-30s) later I go another teller. At this point I realize they'll most likely leave sooner so I need to get over there and #close but I CAN'T. As they finish and walk away I see the redhead say goodbye to me and even tho in my mind I'm trying to scream STOP all that comes out is a measly goodbye too. Needless to say after this I was devastated. WTF! All these years of PUA for what? I can approach girls equally hot in clubs, I can #close them, I can get makeouts, finger them, etc. but I can't even #close a girl that's attracted to me at a bank? Right when I really NEED THE PUA SKILL it’s NOT THERE. Worst off all I had multiple opportunities to #close, 4 by my count. I can’t describe with words the pain I felt, the disconnect between what I wanted even in the moment and what my body did, I swear this must be what getting rapped feels like, it was unbearable. After getting home I went to an empty park and threw a temper tantrum, feet stomping, arms flailing and yes even tears crying; first tears I’ve cried as an adult. Then after arriving back home I decided to follow Captians Jack’s advice to write down the FR. Let me just say I am soo fucking glad I did. I asked myself why I hesitated, what was going on in my mind. I realized my mind gave me a reason for not closing, it wanted to wait for a perfect opportunity, it wanted things to appear smooth, appear natural, and the sad part is I already made this mistake 2 times previous and realized it each time. Now here is where the key breakthrough came. For some reason (cough being able to calibrate) I remembered this video http://youtu.be/wb7vBGk2Vd8 the concept of being a schmuk and beastmode really jumped at me. I realized everytime I got results it was in the “PUA state” by being a beast, not the regular cool chill guy mode and for some reason I went to TD’s youtube page afterwards and found this http://youtu.be/nO02ZXSmo9g It completed confirmed what I was thinking all along. See my minds reason of wanting a perfect timing wasn’t the root issue, that’s why I couldn’t fix it previously. What actually happened was my mind created the PUA personality, the beastmode personality, the dancing monkey personality, it did this to protect my real personality e.g. the guy I am when I wake up, when I go to CVS, when I talk to friends I like, etc. Going to the girl and asking for a phone number from my NATURAL state would have actually put me on the line, it would have opened me to failure, to rejection. I remember TD saying there is a power in Tim being able to simply open set’s by saying “Hi, I’m Tim” and now I understand. I’m weak and I don’t have the confidence I believe I had. Great thing is atleast now I know the issue and I also know how to fix it. Start opening girls direct, now I realize everything has a time and a place but I know I need to be able to take a blow out like a man to clear this sticking point. |
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| Author: | Hank Panky [ Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
That was a very insightful post. I'm sure there are many downfalls for those who develope a "PUA persona" that does not match their own, or their own "best self" vision. What a bummer that you missed out on asking that gal you were into for her #. I hate that feeling. Afterwards I realize that I'd have rather been blown out than have to live with the fact that I didn't even give it a go. One of my personal goals is to not to have to wonder what if again. That means sometimes the timing is off and I have to go against some of the PUA stuff I've learned. Strong inner game means genuinely liking yourself, not a fake PUA version of you, and really believing that other people will be attracted to you (and HB's will want to sex you) when given the chance to get to know how friggin' awesome you are. |
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