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a public "oops" and BAIL!
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Author:  Locke [ Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:10 am ]
Post subject:  a public "oops" and BAIL!
I am sure plenty off you all have had similar problems when starting up.

The thing about approach that makes me nervous the most is not the approach. It's the rejection, ejection, and the people's opinions who are watching me.

I was at a restaurant/bar the other night. I approached a girl sitting by herself. First off, my friends are all a bunch of assholes - and we constantly make fun of each other and talk shit. I have made a personal vow not to sarge (or bring up women at all) with these guys because of how I think they will make me look, or I will make myself look in front of them. Uh oh, what if I screw up? Everyone at the office will know, and then thats another thing they can talk shit about.

So I approach a girl sitting alone. I go up, I set my drink down; I half turned my body in (at the last minute I remember the positioning and how you cant make it seem like you want to sit down). So I set my drink down, and she looks as me. With no IOI's (she can smell the fucking FEAR) I am like "so must have been a hard Friday if you are sitting here drinking a giant vodka and cranberry by yourself...."
she giggles...good sign, and she says "no, I am waiting for someone."

AFC engage.

AFC Me: "oh, oh yea? Some guys or girls?"
HB7: "a guy"
AFC Me: "oh neat. well waiting by yourself is boring. my buddy is going to be back in a minute. You should come over and hang out while you wait. We arn't that crazy; well he is insane, but I am not so tuff."
HB7: "ah, thats alright"
AFC Me *BAILS BACK TO BARSTOOL ON OTHERSIDE OF THE ROOM*
I did bail with a smile on my face though. It was hard...and i was RED.

Then all I could think about was what everyone else in the place thought of me then. It felt like they were all watching (wasn't that busy in there) and were getting a good kick on it. I see the person sitting next to her immediately say something and they chuckle. I got all paranoid.

Anyway, about 10 minutes later, the group sitting next to me went over to her. Come to find out, one was her boyfriend, and he watched me approach and then had a little laugh over it with her.

So embarrassing.
Author:  Artkin [ Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Haha I know exactly how you feel buddy... Social anxiety sucks the big one... I always seem to worry more about what onlookers will think of me than what the target will if I make an approach.

Anyways good on you for giving it a go regardless. If you hadn't have approached you'd be kicking yourself for not finding out - just gotta reprogram those AFC responses (eg if she says she's waiting for something, just say something about it being impossible for them to be more interesting than you or whatever).

If it makes you feel better - Before I learnt game I was in a situation where an absolutely gorgeous HB9.5 was giving me tons of IoI's on the train (she kept staring at me and holding eye contact and smiling, and playing with her hair).
She was in the communal area on her own, I was sitting downstairs on my own, but she had 3-4 randoms sitting near her (on their own with nothing to do as well).
Even though it was a pretty much sure thing that she'd be receptive if I opened her after all the IoI's, I was too afraid to approach for fear of what I'd look like to the randoms sitting around her (who would watch the whole thing unfold).
I STILL REGRET THIS and it happened a month ago - so it is almost always better to give it a go and get knocked back than to just forfeit every opportunity without finding out.
Author:  KeepNitReal [ Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
I see you point... but not really. Why even post that? :shock: LOL . It sucks when you know all the lines and shit and you mentally freeze like that.
Author:  Locke [ Thu Dec 06, 2007 10:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
this is a field report section. you are supposed to post your interactions and incidents.

By posting this, I am allowing thousands of people to read - and possibly comment - on it. Out of the hundred that read it, one might have a tip. Or maybe no one has a tip. That is the chance you need to be willing to take (to learn).

It is also here because it might help others as well. The fact that "other people have this problem too?" might calm someone or bring them a little hope.

All I know is that it is a perfect example of what NOT to do.
Author:  JamesFlames [ Thu Dec 06, 2007 10:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Locke,

u had balls to do it - be proud. You didnt die, get injured or lose money. Just a bit of embarassment. The more pickups you try the easier they will be.
Author:  The Wild One [ Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
I will help you PM me for advice. You need it.
Author:  Locke [ Fri Dec 07, 2007 12:26 am ]
Post subject: 
oh Wild One, your so silly.

I think we could help each other out

;p
Author:  kinoescalator [ Sun Dec 09, 2007 7:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
I feel u man, even now its still in the back of my mind when i open a set. Look at my post about how to handle an imeadiate shit test. Big thing is to not be affected by whatever they say and to snip and switch to another routien to make them laugh. Once they laugh u got them.

If she has a Boyfriend this is NOT a bad thing. I love getting into a set with a girl with a BF. The key is to imeadiately introduce yourself to the BF and talk to him for awhile and ignore that HB. U kinda have to make the BF your target. Once u r "friends" with him he will be a great help to getting into the other girls in the set. Trust me man, this works like a charm. I have had a BF actually tell a girl in a set to h/u (hook up) with me!

And remember relax....they are just girls....they act tough but in reality any one of us is wayyyyyyy tougher than they are.

Last night i had a negative responce when i aproached a 2 set, but yet i managed to make out and toronto shot the girl a bunch and number closed. U just have to get past the bitch shield....its a test they run, if u dont push past it they think u r a AFC.
Author:  hbgmagnum [ Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm still working on getting alot of my shit together but its amazing to see the improvement by just going out everynight and going for it. Keep at it Anyhow what I would have done when she said she was waiting for a guy I probabaly would have gone straight into a short funny story w/ dhv spikes.. for instance..


"Waiting huh?.. well I got to get back over to my friends they are waiting for me.. but get this.. the last time i was waiting at a bar for someone, I was sitting there and this girl comes up to me, she looked like some sort of model or something and she asked if she could buy me a drink. Any other day I probably would have accepted, though I didn't think it would be the most respectful thing to do since my buddy who i was waiting for had just had his heart broken by this girl he was dating for 9 months and I was there for him and to take his mind off things. So I tell her another time and you'll never believe what she said to me..." (look back over at your friends, and say) "listen my friends are waiting for me I really got to get back, I got to finish telling you this story before you leave though."

While back at your table of friends make sure you are the alpha male, lean back and try to time your jokes when shes looking over she'll see you and your friends as a good time and you the leader of your friends.

This story above would def need quite a bit of work to it and a better note to end on that would really really captivate her interest but its just an example i through off the top of my head real quick.

Any other opinions on this story or technique?
Author:  billyt [ Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Locke, don't sweat it man. No one remembers the next day. I give you credit for approaching in a non-crowded arena.

I know guys like your friends. Shame 'cause I'm sure they'd make good wings and help you out with social proof etc. when you're out. I'd suggest this with a few of them: Explain that social norms dictate:

a) women generally do not hit on men.
b) most men are afraid to approach women who are with groups that may or may not include other men, even though 4 out of 5 times those men are not actually "with" those women.
c) most men are afc's who'll never approach a woman regardless of the above.

So where does that leave you - well, if your friends act like hard a-holes all the time, nothing will happen, they will be ignored. Say, "hey, we could help each other out, and it'll be fun when we go out." For instance, if you get a decent opener and some good conversation, have your friend walk up and ask "hey, have you heard from Scott [or whatever name you want] yet?" (better than just walking up and saying "hi" - kinda telegraphs that you're hitting on them). At that point, even if you don't know the groups names you can make up some funny shit like "hey this is hillary and haley duff," or sometimes i use the names from the brady bunch or whatever.

The more you do stuff like that, the more these guys will see you as alpha, the more fun you'll have doing it as a group, and the ball busting will subside. Instead it'll be cool stuff to talk about during lunch at work.
Author:  hbgmagnum [ Mon Dec 10, 2007 2:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Here is a great story/routine from SirSlick here on the forum that I found that can easily be adapted to "last time i was waiting at the bar for someone this happened... type thing.
Quote:
I've made up my own routine (never happened to me!) and field tested it. It works great and you can have some kino too. Here you go:

PUA: You'll never guess what happened to me last week!
HB: What?!
PUA: I just got out of the gym [DHV] so I was really thirsty. I went to this Jamba Juice [or Starbucks, whatever place you like] place where my friend works, she [DHV] can get me a free drink so I always go there after my workout. I ordered my usual drink, and I sat down at a table to wait for my order. Then all of a sudden a guy comes sitting next to me and he starts to talk to me. "Hey that's a nice shirt, where did you get it?" I couldn't remember so I just said "Euhm, Nordstrom." Then he started touching my arm and feeling my shirt. "[say this with a gay voice]Oh it's so soft, I really like it. [touch/stroke the arm HB to show what he did to you]"

PUA: I was like, OMG! Luckily my friend called my name and I picked up my order, she saw what happened and gave me a blink. Haha [laugh]. I got out of there ASAP. As I was walking to my car [DHV] I was thinking, "did I just got hit on by a gay guy?! What the hell just happened?!"
HB: "WOW, that's so funny. [sometimes the HB tells that she got hit on by a lesbian]
PUA: Do I look gay to you?
HB: No.....
PUA: [cut her off if she talks alot] It's nice to know you're attractive, but only to the opposite sex [SMILE]

And continue from there, stack to your next routine. It will always release an "OMG" reaction and a smile :)

Maybe you can add some other DHV spikes, let me know what you guys think of it. Of course, test it yourself!
Author:  gyarados [ Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger :lol:

If the same thing happens again, it won't be as embarassing. and anything less than this won't hurt you at all.

My mate (TOTAL AFC) Dan once used the line "I've been trying to get on you all night and haven't had much luck" to a drunk girl and K-Closed.

Thinking this will now work on ANY girl he approached a HB7 in my vilage in front of all of us (6 of his mates who are guys). None of us had K-Closed her yet but I knew I was going to as she had agreed to stay at my house 8)
Just before they all left...

HB: Cya guys.
ME: Yeah, you lot should go Its late :twisted:
AFC DAN: (the whole room goes quiet) *deep breath* Basically I've
been trying to get on you all night...
OTHER GUYS: arrr dan don't please arrr your an idiot mate. *laiughs*
AFC DAN: No I gotta say it, I've been trying to get on you all night.... and haven't had much luck.... so, what dya say? :? *arms out waiting for hug*
*everyone smirks n grunts*
HB: erm... :oops: .... sorry, I can't :lol: :oops:
ME: Dan?! :roll: :lol:... :lol: :roll: ... HB please just kiss him I feel sorry for him, seriously i dont mind :lol:
HB: :lol: yeah but I mind :oops: sorry
DAN AFC: I guess that's a no then?... :oops:... can I have a hug then or a handshake or anything? :?
ME: *whispers* go on, hug him the poor guy :lol: well you dont have to, but you know its just....
HB: Ok then *hugs him sort of* bye
DAN AFC: meh, Im fine with that.
ME: Poor guy :?

Then I F-Closed

But they ripped the piss out of him for weeks and months afterwards.

:lol:

Does that top it then? :P just remember it could be a LOT worse.

My brother once for some strange reason took pictures of his erect penis and my dad found the SD card. My dad then confronted him about it. Then he got durnk and told me.


Think of these things next time you have these past memories of shame and they won't appear as bad :lol:
Author:  Jubjub [ Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:26 am ]
Post subject: 
I can totally relate. I've had some approaches that went pretty bad. In that moment you just want to bury your head but after awhile it's just another funny story to tell to your buddies.
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