Most of my FRs thus far have been more of "things NOT to do." However, I am finally getting the hang of some things so I have a better report.
I have accounts set up on OkCupid and POF, and this was the first time I had actually set up any kind of date from either. I basically did everything JSmooth says in his online gaming post in the similarly named forum, so for anyone that wants to look at that area may as well just read what he has to say to know what I did. Anyways, I had planned to meet up with a girl for dinner at a small bar/grill not too far from where she lived after I had finished with work.
The two things I have read that made the most sense to me are 60 Years of Challenge and Vin DiCarlo's Escalation Ladder, so those were the ideas that I wanted to implement. To that end, I went and picked her up at her apartment, milked the handshake for as long as I could as we went to my car, and off we went...
At the restaurant, I made it a point to say less than I would have on dates before I learned anything about pickup. 60's Anti-Manifesto (which Chief has posted in the PUA Lounge for those unfamiliar) made a major point in allowing sexual tension to build just by holding eye contact while she talks without doing all the little things that break tension like laughing, smiling, or interrupting a girl just to say something like "Ok" or "that's cool." It was definitely working. Even when she was asking me interview questions, most of the time just holding eye contact a bit after answering was received well and she would start talking about herself. Hell, I don't need to ask the same question to her, it's assumed, right? Well conversation was going well, and I was letting her do most of the talking, but I also did not want to wait until after dinner to try any kino.
Now was my first chance to use the Escalation ladder, and I started with Incidental 1, so I am high-fiving her a couple times as she says things particularly impressive and I touch her arm to emphasize points when I'm a bit more talkative.
Aside from a debate about who pays (I wanted to cover the drinks since I recommended she try something new with me, Tequila/cranberry which is a personal fave), dinner went very well, and on our way out I tell her that I do not want the night to end just yet, and ask how she feels about that. She is unfamiliar with the area we are in, even though she lives less than a mile from there in the same city, so I suggest we walk to another area where there are several bars and have another drink before ending the night.
Shit test at the bar: "So how could a guy like you not have a girl already?"
Passed with: "Just had a lot of other things going on, still do."
Here we have overt 1: After agreeing to go to another bar, I hold up my arm and she wraps hers around. Now clearly I have been doing well, because she puts her hand down and takes my hand in hers, fingers interlocked. If you read Chief's guide, you know that's a huge fucking green light. Still, I wanna continue a bit and build before going for the kiss.
At the bar, I go into Incidental 2 from the Escalation ladder by standing at the bar close enough that our legs our touching, and when we did sit down to make sure our thighs were up against eachother. She's been compliant so far, so I decide to speed up the escalation a bit. After a short period of incidental 2 by putting my hand on her thigh, and putting my arm around her waist as we talk.
It is probably worth pointing out that I wasn't really thinking in terms of "incidental 1" and "overt 2" while this was going on. I just kinda remembered that the ladder order basically went arms/hands, legs/back, face neck, then go kiss.
With that outta the way, while we were at dinner for over an hour and I was only running incidental 1, after that, once she held my hand, there was only 5-10 minutes between any of these stages. With her being receptive to my touching her legs and back I spend a bit more time using THE CLAAAAAW (lol) and putting my arm around her while we talk, making sure my hand was often touching her neck and occasionally running my fingers through her hair.
The best part about this is that I am barely talking. I'm not asking her questions, I'm not interviewing her. She is doing most of the talking, and I am staying fairly stoic and answering her questions. But I am asking good questions. If she is talking about her previous jobs, I'm asking why she liked working at job A, what made job B better or worse. When she asks about what my favorite drink is, I ask about memorable nights out, because I like a girl who knows how to party down.
Now the second bar we went to was pretty far away from where we parked, but on the walk back we are pressed against eachother, arms around eachother the whole damn time. It was cute, not gonna lie
. At one point we pass by a playground, and this seems as good a place as any. She points out how it was a shame there were no swings, and without saying a word I take her hand and lead her to a bench in this little park. I pull her over and place her on my lap, but she gets up almost immediately (my boner scared her? Dunno haha). I don't let go of her hands, though, as she gives as close to a verbal green light as I could get running 60 YOC."You make me nervous."
DING DING DING, WE HAVE A WINNER. 60 is about building tension, even when you are risking creepy. That nervousness, if I had been fucking up, woulda made me a creeper. Instead, that nervousness was sexual tension, because she had no clue what the fuck was going on. I ask why, which in hindsight was barely necessary, and all she could muster was an "I dunno." Now I now better than to talk and risk ruining all this, so I just pull her back onto my lap and start making out. No hesitation, no awkward pause, I just dive the fuck in.
And it's not just in the dark park bench. As we walk back we are making out on the sidewalk under lights, at my car, basically every ten feet.
*DID YOU GET LAID, DJ_Z?*
There's a reason this is nto in the Lay Report section...
What can I say? Logistics weren't my friend. I had work the next today at 7:45 a.m., and it was pretty late. I didn't feel like getting fired because I didn't show up for work due to being out til 2 in the morning in a city that takes me another hour to drive back to. If I had my work clothes with me I may have been posting this with LRs, but I had to settle for making out in the car before letting her go back to her apartment.
So that's it, a good night was had, I'd definitely see the girl again, but on a night where I had nothing going on to keep me from going for the lay.
In review:
Pros
-escalation ladder worked flawlessly
-60 anti-manifesto didn't turn me creepy, I was able to keep sexual tension up without fucking things up
-easy k-close
-she paid for my drink at the bar...always awesome
-only 1 shit test, which wasn't rough
Cons
-Didn't get laid
-waiting too long with incidental 1, I think is all. If she hadn't gone to hold my hand while I escorted her to the bar who knows if I would have had the confidence to push on
