Setting Goals and Building Confidence



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 7:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2011 7:42 pm
Posts: 11
Hey everyone,

I have decided to make 2011 a year in which I will be consciously developing my inner and outer game, personal appearance, and planning out and progressing in my business endeavors.

I am going to be doing this in a way that hopefully helps as many people as possible, but being new to the PUA forums and not knowing much of the lingo or skills, community involvement is vital to my success and this threads ability to help as many as possible.

A little bit about me:
I am 19, graduated, live at home, don't have a job, don't have a car.
I am 6'0, 160 lbs, some acne but not bad, brown hair, blue eyes, I have been told I should be a model a million times, am in good shape but there is definitely room for improvement. I live in a tropical Central American surf/tourist town with a few clubs sporting an actively changing crowd. I surf (not as often as I could), and go to the gym (but haven't in a month). I have had 2 serious relationships 1 and 2 years. Slept with 4 girls. Been in 1 threesome. Never ever been in a pickup situation because the girls have kind of walked into my life. I have decent inner game, confidence building every minute, however vastly little experience in a pickup situation.

My PUA research:
I actively read about spiritual things, Ekhart Tolle, etc. I believe I have accepted some of my clairvoyant and esp abilities and they get more potent every day. I have read "The Attraction Code" and "Get your girlfriend Back" and "Double your Dating".. As well as a few other threads about inner game mostly.

Where my heads at:
I have never had much confidence, but have the physical and mental ability to be great with women. I'm amazing in bed, funny, have a nice laugh and smile, and can have a conversation. I feel like it is time for myself to stop giving women so much attention, and start putting my energies toward furthering myself.

Step 1: Personal Goal Setting
The Website I'm using: ---- Will put in after I reach five posts -.-

I have decided it is time to set out some goals for myself. Some of the material in this section is copied and pasted from the link above.

I have been internally asking myself these questions over the last 24 hours.

* Career - What level do you want to reach in your career, or what do you want to achieve?
* Financial - How much do you want to earn, by what stage? How is this related to your career goals?
* Education - Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to have in order to achieve other goals?
* Family - Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent? How do you want to be seen by a partner or by members of your extended family?
* Artistic - Do you want to achieve any artistic goals?
* Attitude - Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? (If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.)
* Physical - Are there any athletic goals that you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?
* Pleasure - How do you want to enjoy yourself? (You should ensure that some of your life is for you!)
* Public Service - Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?

Goal setting is an in depth process. It is not something you can start and finish in a day. From what I understand it is an ongoing process. The first step seems to be just making the realization it is how to better yourself and to begin brainstorming.
I'm trying to follow the SMART mnemonic because it is well rounded and reminds me to cover all the bases when setting goals for myself.

* S - Specific (or Significant).
* M - Measurable (or Meaningful).
* A - Attainable (or Action-Oriented).
* R - Relevant (or Rewarding).
* T - Time-bound (or Trackable).

My Personal Goals:

Career - I'm an entrepreneur at heart. I've tried working for people before and hated it. My plan right now is to start up a few businesses. I have $2000 saved up and am doing little jobs here and there. I don't plan on ever working for a company or firm.. It doesn't suit my nature and makes me feel like a sheep. No goals here.

Financial - I do however know I will be earning money. I am going to set up an empire for myself through smart people managing, goal setting, and bringing my ideas to reality. I have some great ideas, the two I am going to actively work on at this time are setting up a community center using connections I have in this town after living here for over 10 years. The second is setting up an Eco Community 40 minutes south of this town in which students worldwide will come to learn about sustainability, permaculture, and living life simply and to the fullest. I plan on having a crude business model for both of these projects completed by the end of January. I will update these as often as I can.

Education - I have a 3.7 GPA and graduated with honors. Got 94% in AP English Lit. I don't have immediate plans for college for 2 reasons. College is expensive and I hear more every day about how useless degree's are becoming. Especially in the business I see myself in. The second reason is because I live in a party town already and have been living a college like experience for awhile, and its only getting more fun as the town grows around me. For the next 2-3 years however I will take courses in management and herbal medicine. They both interest me and I feel like management will help me in all areas of life... business, and social. No plans for 2011 here.

Family - work in progress

Artistic - I want to spend time this year building my skills in drawing, throwing pottery, and if I can buy a guitar or piano those are both instruments I plan on learning over the next 5 years. This year I will get at least one of those instruments. I am going to work on drawing starting now. I will draw out my fantasies and goals, images of my dream self with my dream woman in my dream home. It is time to bring my dreams into reality and arts are a beautiful way of initiating that. First drawing will be complete this upcoming week.

Attitude - work in progress

Physical - My plan is for the next 6 months to go to the gym at least 4 days a week. I will work on primarily upper body. Pecks, biceps, triceps, lats, back, core, some shoulders. I want to have a maintained weight of 170 Lbs and reach 175 by the end of 2011. I am going to start at the gym this week and give a weekly progress report. As far as surfing goes I am going to try my very best to surf at least once a day. My goal for 2011 to be able to surf backside and frontside with the same ease, as well as do 2 or more staple tricks on demand (floater, snaps, sprays, cutbacks, etc)

Pleasure - work in progress

Public Service - work in progress

Smaller goals / Achieving goals / Progress:

Will add later.

Pickup Goals:


I plan on practicing all areas of pickup this year.

For the month of January my goal is to open with as many girls as possible whenever possible. I am going to set myself a minimum of opening with 3 girls every time I go out and party.

Pickup Progress


I opened with some girls last night, one was pretty cute. Her friend told me the cute one thought I was cute. So I acted. We danced a bit, talked a little.. I took pictures.. was touchy but stayed casual and socialized with them as well as my friends all around me. I got their number and am teaching them how to surf today. I kissed the cute one before she left... it may have caught her off guard.. but I think she liked it anyway.

There is also a girl I've known for a long time who lives in my town.. Shes very sexy but we've never connected really. She is hooking up with a friend of mine but I've heard she's promiscuous. I brought her and some friends surfing yesterday and we talked a bit.. She opened up differently and more sweetly than I've seen her in the past.. She has a lot of confidence and a kind of "bad girl" attitude. Last night when I got to the club she came right up to me and asked me something. I tried not to show too much interest but was still kind and was touchy in a comfortable way. She reacted positively. Later in the night I complimented her clothing, anytime we talked I had my hand on her arm or back.. moved it sensually and kind of played with the top of her shorts above her bum. I tried the whole stare at a wall and follow her eyes trick and it worked like a charm in about 10 seconds. I'm not sure how to follow this one up but have promised myself I am going to face my fears so any reputable or logical seeming advice will be followed!

Will add more later.
Please leave any advice or info for others that I can add and use to make this thread better for myself and the rest of the <a href="">PUA Forum</a> community!

Thanks a bunch,
Somnium

PS. This quote from Trashedteen really exemplifies what I'm trying to do with this thread.
Quote:
I don't expect you guys to take any interest in my life. But I would love to hear from any of you who have been down the same road or indeed, are down the same road as I am. Perhaps together we would find that making them big changes in your life can be that bit easier with the support of like-minded people and hopefully begin to take our lives where we want them to be and not just where we ended up.
-Trashedteen


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 4:13 am 
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MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sat Jul 26, 2014 8:27 pm
Posts: 63
I can definently realte to what your going through now because I am actually on the path of smart goal setting myself. I am 17 years old and am currently taking a break from pua stuff. I am taking a break because I realized that my goals were not realistic enough so I became overwhelmed with self-doubt, anxiety, and unfulfillment because I wasnt living up to those unrealistic expectations. I love the fact that you areable to see pick up from a realistic perspective and actually be smart about this because most guys(including myself) arent aware of the process it takes to get women, because we blindly think that approaching lots of women will get us laid. But Im starting to realize that it is ok to go for what you want just as long as you make your goals acheivable but at the same time be grateful for what you have in your life. I hope what I wrote helps you in any way. And if it didnt good luck out there anyways man.☺


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