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| Why We Are Not Comfortable With Ourselves https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=74082 |
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| Author: | Incubus69 [ Tue Aug 31, 2010 1:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Why We Are Not Comfortable With Ourselves |
Are you truely comfortable with yourself? If your not, this thread is for you! How did you become not comfortable with yourself? Well, think of this - the first time someone made you consciously aware of what you looked like, for instance maybe your height or your weight or whatever. You would focused on it. Maybe a group of girls called you ugly because you had big ears or a big nose - so you would constantly think to yourself, "Only if I didn't have big nose or big ears I would be better looking!". Well, here's the thing - those girls that made fun of you are insecure. They feel bad about themselves to make you feel bad about yourself. Remember this and once this concept sticks like crazy glue, "Anyone that puts down another is just jealous of another person because of what they have!" If they felt good about themselves, would they make fun of you? Probably not! They would probably want to bring more positive people around them instead of negative. High school is rough, kids are bitter and they tear each other up with names. So, how can you become comfortable with yourself? Ask yourself that for a moment! What do you have to do to make yourself feel comfortable with yourself? My solution was know that I was the bomb and don't listen to others bullshit. I had to know I could be assertive to anyone and be respected by anyone. I had to think that no matter what I did people would like me for who I am. I bullshitted myself until I believed myself. I started breaking apart my old beliefs and putting new beliefs up about myself. Instead of telling myself, "I'm ugly" I would reframe it saying, "I'm hot" or "I'm sexy and women want me" and then I got around saying, "Women are out of my league and women are the ones that need me." so on. If you have any questions be free to ask away! I'll be glad to assist or try to answer them. |
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| Author: | haudas [ Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah man,maybe that would help,but thinking you are hot,doesnt make you hot,you would still be ugly/strange/etc. that would be more for the confidance side,but still,if the guy doesnt get any results,he will eventually feel sad again. |
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| Author: | Incubus69 [ Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
It has to do with confidence building. However, the strangeness of the guy or the ugly has to do with changing his behaviors around women and around people. He has to change what he does by reconigzing what women find unattractive. If he constantly lean forwards while he talks this could convey too much interest in the girl, which he has to realize. However, with confidence and thinking that you don't need a girl to make yourself happy it could make you less needy. In my experience, I used the affirmation that I don't need women to like me and I noticed that I'm not needy while talking with them and that I can talk with them easily. |
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| Author: | SomeGuy12345 [ Wed Oct 13, 2010 5:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Whoops. Sorry, I posted this by accident. |
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| Author: | Pierce 007 [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Seeing is believing I know this guy at work who is totally relaxed round women, and the thought of being anxious doesnt even enter his mind. This is the state to be in so you can apply the techniques outlined because your mind straight, but its difficult to be relaxed if your TRYING TO! I find if you see someone acting like that in real life you can copy there demeanor as you can now SEE it and hence believe it. Just opinion |
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| Author: | BrianTampa [ Fri Dec 17, 2010 2:42 am ] |
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first of all, don't rule out that you might have a psychological or biological issue that is contributing to this. Don't be afraid to go to the doctor. The main thing to accept yourself is get over your past including guilt and shame. Give yourself a blank slate. Practice living in the present as much as possible. |
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| Author: | minsok [ Fri Dec 17, 2010 3:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
American media helped teach me that Asian men have zero sex appeal and are mostly comic relief/convenient martial artists. Also, mommy never loved me. In my imagination, the guy that has the most confidence and the most success with women is the one that has no agenda, that can enjoy their company without sexual needs. To me, this guy is impervious to rejection, but magnetic because he can really appreciate a girl. I'd like to try to be this guy, but I'm having no luck socially, which is making me resentful as fuck. |
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