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| This is what I've learnt so far https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=71047 |
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| Author: | frost3627 [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 4:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | This is what I've learnt so far |
High school was fun. I first stumbled upon PUA material when I was 15, and man, the stuff really worked wonders for me in school. Grades 10-12 were some awesome years, every girl just loved these techniques. And then came college. Suddenly, all that fun stopped, and slowly, yet steadily, I started getting into a downward spiral with the 'woman' and basic social aspect of my life. I never experienced dorm life, I knew that living in a dorm wouldn't be good for my grades, and I made a choice. I live with it, but at the same time, it also forced me to be in a new city, knowing nobody and the only way to get to know somebody was by the means of a cold approach. And this applied not only to women, but to anyone in general. A cold approach was the only way..You can imagine how many people I've met. In my three years in college, there are a few things I've learnt that I believe would be helpful to you guys. Maybe not so much for the guys who live in dorms, regardless of whether your social life is great or not, but more so for the guys who go on with life with college (or anything else) being a side thing. I've slowly started getting out of this rut and while I'm not dating that smart 10 yet, I'm now confident within myself and know that the only limits are the ones set in my mind. Here are some tips some of you could use. 1)Nobody really cares about you as much as you think. This isn't on the down-perspective.. remember, just as people don't care much about you, you shouldn't care too much about them. Remember, everyone has their own set of worries and problems and you're inconsequential to them, just as they're inconsequential to you and your life. If you think that trying to talk to that hot girl in class and getting rejected would make you a laughing stock, it won't. She wouldn't remember it the next day, and she's not going to go around shouting your rejection out to everyone. Approach people knowing that even your greatest social blunder wouldn't matter to them..and then it wouldn't matter to you. 2) In college, assumption and pretending is a huge boon. If you assume to have a great life, people around you would believe that you actually have it going. 90% of people in college lead boring lives, contrary to what you've seen in movies. Most people, almost always, need someone 'fresh' to come in and swoop their boredom away. If you can 'assume' to be this person, your interaction with just about anyone would be much better. Have a little bit of that 'larger than life' feeling to yourself. Remember, this feeling should not be expressed in words. It should show in your attitude and body language. 3) Assume again. ASSUME RAPPORT. Next time you're making a cold approach, simply assume that the person you're approaching is not a stranger, but a long lost friend who you're dying to talk to. This really, truly, is the best piece of advice I ever read and can give you. It worked wonders for me, somebody who had no confidence for approaching people. Assume rapport. This way you'll genuinely be interested in the person, and their defenses would be lowered seeing how straightforward and genuine you are. And it's the simplest of tricks to play on your mind; it just works every time. I made a few friends notoriously good with women and I noticed how seamlessly they would talk to people around them and their pick up target. They treated their target as inconsequential to the big picture. 4) You can sit around waiting for something to happen but it wont. I spent an entire year hoping my 'looks' or my 'charm' would land me beautiful goddesses. And here I am posting on this forum. Don't sit around and waste time. Go out. Do something. I always thought there's nothing to do, or that if I go to a bar alone people will laugh at me for being a social 'loser'. Look at point 1 again. That's what killed this feeling. 5) Be genuinely interested, curious, amused and concerned for other people. At the same time, be truly grateful, positive, charmed and confident about yourself. I'm now nearing the end of my college life, and there are a few things I could've done differently, in retrospect. But it's a new day anytime you wake up, and a new day brings new choices and things. Some quotes to end the post: "There is no point in worrying about the risk in the opportunity, the fruit lies in the opportunity within the risk." "Never feel too connected to the fruit reaped from an action; instead, concern yourself only with the action. For in action thrives the opportunity, while the fruit creates motives" |
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| Author: | dekatk [ Fri Jul 16, 2010 5:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | thanks |
your post has really opened my eyes.. i know its easier said than done. But, just finding that drive it takes to open a set has been hard for me....yet i'm the one giving all the pointers to my friends/wings.. i've tested some of your tactics as well as other pua's but never actually tested then in my own skin. I've always explained it to a friend--go out to a bar, and watch the magic happen in their playing field. I still am having quite a hard time getting over the social anxiety but pushing forward will help.. tthanks again -kata- |
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| Author: | frost3627 [ Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yes, I do know of the phase where you have all the knowledge, and imagine yourself being that great, charismatic man all the time. You do everything correctly within your head, but can't seem to paint a picture in reality. I absolutely believe that if you simply 'assume rapport', you'll literally double your dating. It doesn't take a whole Ebook to concretely explain dating or social life. Yes, social anxiety is prevalent, but it's also irrelevant when you look at the big picture. 'I will talk to this person, and I'll pretend this person is my best friend till they prove it otherwise. It should be a good laugh!' Easing up and lightening your attitude and mood will dramatically improve your life. If you take nothing seriously, nothing gets serious enough to bother you. Thanks, and yeah, we're all learning. We always are. |
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| Author: | Adam90192 [ Sun Aug 01, 2010 10:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Thanks |
Thank you for this post. It was a huge eye opener for me. I had a similar college experience to you, except my senior year I decided to move in the dorms to try it out in the spring semester ( was the best time of my life). Currently, I just graduated from college in May and am in a completely new town w/ no friends or real support group. I have always just had a steady group of friends and now that that's gone i'm feeling a lot of Approach Anxiety talking to almost anyone. I haven't went to a bar here because I was afraid everyone would notice I would be going solo. Thanks for the great post. I will be reading again and again. |
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| Author: | Silentman [ Sun Aug 01, 2010 11:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
great post man |
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| Author: | JXDX [ Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I concur, fantastic read. I saved it to my hard drive. |
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| Author: | ThEDuTcH [ Wed Aug 04, 2010 4:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
3 And 5! I'm Going To Try That Out! |
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