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Being tired destroying your game
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Author:  Shyler [ Thu May 27, 2010 3:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Being tired destroying your game

When i am very energetic, happy and awake, i feel like the alfa-male.
nothing can destroy me, and chicks like me because of my high energy.
and while having a high energy, social skills go trough to roof, and i know what to say and it happens less that i can't keep on talking.

But i'm down and tired often. don't know why actualy. it possibly has to do with the fact that i have to wake up every morning at 7 AM (way too early), that i have to concentrate in classes for hours a day on boring stuff, or because of the wheater being bad,...

But being tired and down destroyes my game. While started really good with a girl when i had a high energy level, the day after i could be in a terrible and/or very tired mood, and thus feeling a bit down, which can destroy the attraction being built with a girl. Because when i'm tired, i never know what to say, i'm anti-social and avoiding people, i'm quiet and don't laugh a lot.

do any of you also experience this? and do you know what to do against it (to be energetic again)?

Author:  Darkst0rm [ Thu May 27, 2010 9:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

I've suffered from depression off-and-on my whole life. Besides medication, one thing that has worked consistently for me through the years for working through a slump is exercise first thing in the morning. Yes, I realize I am asking you to wake up EVEN EARLIER in the morning to get your workout penciled in, but you asked, so I'm telling you....it works. Note that exercise in the morning DOES NOT make you feel better, it just makes you feel not as bad. Short story is that by exercising first thing bumps your starting energy for the day up at least one notch, thereby giving you a very mild boost to help push past the early-morning slump.

Also, avoid caffeine through the day (one serving of your favorite caffeinated beverage in the morning is okay though), as well as sugar. Focus on your nutrition, eat more fruits and green veggies, and supplement with a multivitamin. Practice proper relaxation techniques at least one hour prior to bedtime (no bright lights, loud music/TV/multimedia, or conversations....find a quiet place and read a book). Go to bed at a consistent time each night, even on weekends and holidays.

While doing all of the above, work on your internal motivations. There's a reason you are going through with all of this. Focus on your goal(s).

After all that, if you're still having problems, go see a doctor to rule out any other issues that may be affecting your well-being. Good luck.

Author:  Ezo [ Thu May 27, 2010 10:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

I know what you mean.

On the other hand. Many of my best pickups have been when I have been out of shape, not feeling like going out and tired. I have just had the "whatever" attitude.

The thing I do is that I think:

OK, Im here, its kinda a drag but lets make the best of the situation.

So I entertain myself. This is normally fun for others too. So it works.

Author:  Shyler [ Fri May 28, 2010 6:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

thanks for the advices!

yeah i know what you mean. I've also suffered a lot of depressions my whole lifetime long. and it is also on-off-on-off... it's always one of the extremes: i can feel very good, overly confident like a walking god thinking i'm the man, i can get anyone and nothing can break me, but after one or two weeks, that feeling dissapears, and often it takes only one thing, how tiny it might be, to get myself depressed, and then i feel very bad, in very worst cases sometimes even suicidal.

Sometimes i can't explain why i feel that way. it only sucks because i got the feeling that PUs only work when i'm feeling very good, and that feeling actualy never last very long.

reasons for being depressed:
-i have ADHD, so i can't concentrate very well (or at all) on stuff so,
---> my school carreer sucks. i have bad scores
---> because of my bad scores, my family put an enormous pressure on me. the only thing they care about are my scoors. their attitude against me is often based on my scoors
---> so i never was confident. i could never do anything good, and i started to believe that i can't do anyt
---> my parents never allowed me to do something. i felt imprisoned
---> i'm always dreamy. i can only do and listen to things that realy interests me.
---> i've been bullied for years on school because i had a different nationality then the country i live in.

These factors are the main cause of me being depressed. when something happens, how small it might be, but that has something to do with one of these, even if it is unconsiously, i can get depressed.

Anyway, IM CERTAINLY NOT AN AFC who just sits, cry and do nothing.
My whole life was a struggle and a fight for my rights. i tried anything to get out of my comfort zone, turned myself into a good looking guy, built up a social network, got even a pretty hot girlfriend, go out alot, had sex, did a lot of sport, discovered the SEDUCTIONBASE site and the game, and tried to be the person i always wanted to be.

But still, i had some great nights out, but also bad nights, which also destroyes my game.
it feels like all the thing that makes me depresses, that i will always have it with me, and that it never can go away (completely).

Therefore, building a strong frame and innergame is very hard for me. when i try to encourage myself and set a better frame when im down, it feels unnatural and it actualy don't work a lot. saying "whatever" or building up a "whatever" attitude looks hard.
doing all those things to build a stronger innergame costs also a lot of time, which i don't always have available due to school etc.

Things that work for me whe being down is:
- vacation. or a good weekend without work, so that i can do what i want, when i want and with whom i want. i tend to do a lot of variated things then.
- go running or jogging. realy helps.
- buying new clothes or shades which make me feel hot
- working out in the gym, and seeing results
- hanging around with friends with whom i feel completely comfortable
- sometimes music
- ...

Author:  Ethan Hunt [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 1:56 am ]
Post subject: 

Damn Shyler you have just described me EXACTLY. I experience exactly what you are going through to the T. Sometimes I will have an extremely good day or two or three in a row and I will think I have the problem licked, but then the next day I return to my introverted antisocial state and am discouraged again. All the attraction I had build with women or even friendships in general are destroyed, and it is extremely annoying. I have tried eating better and exercising in the mornings but nothing really helps. When you discover a solution, be sure to let me know! :D

Author:  overPlay [ Fri Jul 02, 2010 9:25 am ]
Post subject: 


I also associate to what your saying. It can be very frustrating. I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years, 3 years ago, and for the first 2 years I was up and down- super god confident, or depressed. I'm glad to say that in the last year I've found the key to a stable mood all the time. I'll try to explain:

When your down, do you get really frustrated that you don't have your frame... sometimes your in situations where there are really hot girls around and you feel really down and insecure. And you think of the times when you're super confident and it's very stressful when you compare.

The problem is, real life! and I"m happy to say that it's possible to build a very strong frame, day in and day out, no matter what time you have to get up in the morning or how many commitments you have.

The thing is, we're not programmed to be super-confident all the time. When you are in this state, your body and mind is in a heightened state. There are happy chemicals in your brain, high levels of testosterone, adrenaline and serotonin. Humans are strange beings, we are able to get very excited about the smallest things. A small thought can make your mood go very high or very low. So, sometimes the thought of partying, hot girls, and feeding our ego by surrounding ourselves with people and having sex with hot girls makes us in a very high mood. The problem is, this mood is always impermanent. Once the chemicals run out, and we have used up energy, or perhaps we have come to a conclusion which wasn't quite as satisfying as we thought, the body and mind returns to normal.. and in some cases if you were really high (super GOD confident) then you cross over to the opposite.. the depression and feelings of low worthiness.

The first thing to realise is that the high, when experienced, is a gift. You have to realise that when you experience this state of mind, to enjoy it but not allow it to control you. You have to have the upper hand. I sometimes say things to myself mentally like "I am starting to feel really high right now, and I can sense the energy coming to me. I am going to enjoy the sensation, but not going to allow it to control me, because I will otherwise get high and there is the potential of getting low afterwards."

When you start to pay attention to the energies passing through your body, you start to have the upper hand and have control over it. It really works. When you start to feel high, you can almost "collect" the energy and by not allowing it to take control you can make it last many days.. and with enough practise you end up living what the Buddhists call "The Middle Way"--- means living not too high or too low.. just in the middle.

It is in this state that you have the most happiness in life. It is a constant, calm, confident and dependable state which you learn to create. Once you are comfortable in this state and you notice all the energies trying to control you, you get really confident. You start to notice that, whether you like it or not there are some days when you are really tired/you didn't sleep well,.. but you still have to face the same challenges as when you feel well rested and energetic. You start to realise that even if you're feeling a bit low and tired inside, other people don't really notice as much as you think.. and you start to be able to get your confidence back in these situations. I have been on nights out with friends where I've been REALLY hungover or haven't even slept the night before, having almost no frame.. and STILL feel confident inside because I've learned to be happy in all states and "not to care"- just because you can't chat up the girl.. doesn't matter.. what DOES matter is when you show insecurity whilst chatting to a girl because you FEEL like this.. you still enjoy the night and realise that people don't care... are you starting to see the picture? Happiness always!

You sound a bit like me.. a person that is very deep and can think and analyse too much. People like us are especially prone to highs and lows, because we are emotional people. Some people that seem to have super confidence all the time (PUA artists)are like that because they spend all their time practising. Also, many successful people are so because they are good at doing one thing very good and don't really think too deeply about lots of other things. People like you and me are good at many things and also want to be good at many things.. the dream keeps us dreaming. And most people have a normal job and maybe kids.. you can't be everything! And anyway, there's a lot more to life than PUA!

You start to realise that you have been in a constant pursuit to be or become a certain type of person- whether this be an admired PUA artist or an imagined version of yourself. When you keep trying to persue something, you are met with constant disappointment when you don't achieve what you thought you wanted. It sounds like you have really changed as a person and you have stepped out of your comfort zone many times.. and that's really good. But maybe now it's time to stop climbing such a steep mountain..... the problem is the mountain never ends.. it goes forever.. start to enjoy the height you have reached. You can still climb, just at a steady pace throughout the rest of your life.. but if you try to keep climbing too fast you will wear yourself out.

A last point I want to make is the importance of close friends. You see, I think a lot of this PUA stuff spins a web that you can be this super strong PUA alpha male, which you can for some time, but I've yet to meet anyone that is able to live a single life and be truly happy without true, best friends. I'm talking about the type of people that know you inside out.. the type of friend who you would like to hang with even when you're feeling really down and tired... when you don't have the energy to "entertain" or hold up a conversation - you just want to be "you". Many guys I know call their mum alot. And some guys have a "bro" friend.. but sometimes when that "bro" gets a girlfriend they become harder to have as a friend.. all through life friends change, come and go... The oldest friends are the best but sometimes they move away. I have a very good friend who is a girl.. she lives in another city now but we talk almost three times a week on the phone. This is the reason people eventually end up with a girlfriend/boyfriend.. because it's a companion for a long time. I do believe it's possible to go through life without a girlfriend or just being a single male type.. especially if you surround yourself with success and ego-feeding activities, but there will always be times when you are feeling very lonely. I saw a film recently which describes this brilliantly! It's called "Up in the Air" with George Clooney.

Remember.. true confidence = middle way. No such thing as eternal high... and when you allow the emotions to control you, then your in the passenger seat not the driving seat.

Good luck, let me know what you thought if you want, and may happiness be in your life for as long as you live!

Author:  Tundra [ Sat Jul 03, 2010 2:03 am ]
Post subject: 

Being energetic is good for game, as well as being tired. When I was about having fun and had life & energy in me, I was attractive. But, towards the end of an eh-night, I just sit back and fool with my phone, still participate in what's going on though. You still have to be an element, this is the most important thing in the world IMO - being a sovereign element. The point is, I had some HB leave the guy she came with and sit next to me just while I was sitting on a couch, slumped in it like Al Bundy, playing with my phone while everyone else is playing cards, and chiming in on the conversation every dozen seconds or so with some c&f. The girl simply said "you're so mellow!", then she started asking me questions, and SHE number closed ME. We talked at tops 10 minutes, I probably could have f-closed.

If I had to boil it down, its about your confidence and comfort levels, and they have to both be maxed out. A lot of people try to get energetic but they only have the look, they don't have the substance. They don't make people laugh, they don't conquer the situation, seize the day, carpe diem etc. You have to make an effort for yourself to have fun, bring yourself pleasure and share a little, but BE AN ELEMENT. Being tired is no longer a valid excuse IMO. I understand that when you get energetic though, it seems like ideas just come to you, but I've been dead tired at like 5am, and still able to pump out some clever shit that gets everyone rolling on the floor. I'm not like this 24/7, and it sucks, I wish I could be, but that's still part of the game I need to find the answer to: how do I turn this switch on all the time?

Author:  Don Juan 89 [ Tue Jul 06, 2010 11:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

Are you on ADHD medication by any chance?

If you are I can almost guarantee that your energy is more of a physical result of the medication.

Author:  Shyler [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 5:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wow thanks for the replies!

School is over now, and i have 2 months of vacation. The next 2 months, i won't feel any tireness, stress and frustration about school results. I have some time to rest now, i no longer have to socialise or work with people i don't realy like, and i can take distance from some things, which is good.

i just came from vacation with friends from london. The plan was that i would do nooby mission there, since i became less comfortable around pick up, and that i would sarge in a large club.

i didn't do the nooby mission. maybe i was too afc. But as overPlay said, maybe i don't have to put on such high standards on myself. everyone has done it before me, and it only got me more frustrated.

i'm adopting a kind of new belief: sarging is important, but i'm still 18: i still have years before me to do pick up and get comfortable.

right now, i'm thinking about myself instead of putting the emphasize too much on girls and sarging. i want to buy a digital dj controller, so i can start mixing music and work with something i'm quite passionate about: house music. secondly, i started working out at the gym. i'm going every two days now.
i can meet friends with whom i'm completely comfortable now and on whom i can depend and of which i know what i can expect. friends that both help me when i have problems or tell me to pull myself together.

i had to do test for my ADHD lately, and i got the results of it today. my intelligence is high, but my concentration is very low. basicly, this means that i'm a very intelligent person, but i'm not very able to get the best out of myself.

i once used medecins for it, to improve my concentration, but it made me depressed and i felt like a zomby. i had to take them for years; 4 years of my life a waste.
now i'm gonna take new medecins, medecins which do not affect my emotions and mood. the only effect will be that my concentration improves.

Do you guys think that this new concentration will help me sarging? i hope so. often i find myself distracted or aloof in a conversation. now i hope that, with the new medecins and concentration, i will be more involved in conversation, and that i will be a more sociable guy.

For the rest, i'm going to college next year. i'm going to study in my own country again where i'm with my own people and where i can speak my own language. i'm moving in a house with four roommates. i've met 2 of them and they seem to me like very chill and outgoing guys. i friend of mine who lived there but who's moving next year told met that they are very relaxed, chill and that they almost never fight or have arguments. beside, i made a quite good impression on them when i met them.

thus, i will be in a new environment. i will no longer have parents to shit on me and who tolerate nothing. my family made me very depressed: they didn't understand my ADHD and that there is life beyond studying, and so i got frustrated and depressed a lot. after years, relations between me and them became that worse that i never realy speak with them.
being in a new, better environment will probably help me a lot, and will get me step by step rid of those bad feelings.

i know understand that, that having good and warm relations with your parents is one of the biggest gifts you can get. it helps you to be a more stable, likeable, sociable, confident and warm man. i see it with a very good friend of mine: he used to be a clueless and afc guy, but he had a damn good relationship with his parents: they never shitted on him and he never argued with them, and yet he isn't absolutely a spoiled kid, but rather intelligent and modest. when i learned him about the game, he impressed me by his approaches and his fast progress. this was because he didn't give a fuck and was quite confident. this for a great part thanks to the relationship between him and his parents: he became a warm person himself.

when i'm in college, i won't have to wake up each morning at 7 o'clock so i can rest more, i will be more free, i can make my own decisions, learns me to be responsable, etc.

i will meet completely new people, will have classes with 80% girls :p, i'll be in my own country again, i can leave all the stupid people from my school behind me and start a new life!

sounds good huh 8) ?

i think it's better that i feel good about myself and that i get rid of problems, and then move on so i can focus more on sarging and gaming again.

about what tundra says:

i was lately in this huge club in london. i'm 18 and all the people surrounding me were like 25 or maybe older. i could have been putting pressure on myself and getting frustrated, but at that moment, i tought "fuck it! i don't have to do thousanths of approaches if i feel shit about it! i'm just going to make fun with the people i know there and i'm going to dance a lot!"
result: i made the best of it, and i had fun! i didn't approached and talked as much as my friend (who just discovered the game and who'se motivation (and thus succes) is quite high), but eventualy, because of having fun, and being not too hyper because of my frame "i'm gonna make the best of it", i still talked a few people, danced with some, i stand on a lot of pictures, i opened a 25 years old hb9 (wich failed eventualy, but i still talked to her for 2 minutes and i didn't felt rejected).

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