A little story that may surprise you...



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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 12:16 pm 
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I love men...this just made me laugh (I can imagine a guy's version coming my way now!) :lol:


WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRYTALE

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said,"NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theatre, never watched football, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped, swore, and farted all the time.

THE END


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 2:38 pm 
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You know those cool points I gave you a couple of days ago.


Yeah... not so many in your "cool points" baggie now.

lmao

EvoJ


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:28 pm 
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Lol..that's because you're jealous I'm smarter than you :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:38 pm 
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Oh and I don't truly believe the moral of the story...but you get the point lol :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 4:44 pm 
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There was a moral in there? Did it involve the woman realizing that she is ultimately unfulfilled with all that other crap and finally gets in touch with the part of her that knows that she cannot be a real woman until she has a man to justify her existance? (lmao. j/k)

Whew.. I am just on an ***hole roll today.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 5:15 pm 
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Lmao...yeah you are...reel it in!

:lol:

And of course...us women would be lost and f*cked without men to help us feel crap about ourselves lmao

J/K (see, I geddit!).


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 5:23 pm 
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you lost me at not watching Football.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 5:35 pm 
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Lol...yeah I can see that...I actually quite like it myself (soccer to all you US guys), prefer Rugby though (sexy Rugby men lol).


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 5:39 pm 
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I like both American and English Football. I'm not very experienced in Rugby though. Sometimes I think I should be from the UK. I watch more movies from the UK than I do America.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 5:42 pm 
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And the man went forth to scratch, burp and fart at will. He built a bar in his basement, baseball, loud music and beer 24/7. He never had to answer "is she prettier than me" or 'do these shorts make my ass look big"? and he was much pleased. He never had to do dishes as every meal was eaten right over the sink. Later his friends would come by and ask "what has happened to your house maiden?" and he replied - don't know but life has turned into the biggest fairytale ever written. I own 2 pair of under ware, 2 pairs of jeans, 28 t-shirts, 4 pairs of shoes and the rest is booze. And then the woman came back - pissed at his basic happiness but the smell of old cheese and pizza crust drover he back. He lived happily ever after...

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I got to get into this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who's the gopher's ally? His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 5:50 pm 
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THE MALE VERSION OF THOSE ANNOYING MYSPACE "I WANT A NICE GUY" BULLETINS

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore...
And because of this, there are not many left out there...

Ok, is it just me or are you tired of seeing this sh*t? F*ck all these p*ssy *ss girls who whine because a man doesn't dote on them every second of every day. You want someone to worship you, you self-righteous little c*nt? Then get an army, take over the world, and make every man subservient to your peevish little whims. All this assumes that you're the best girlfriend in the world. So, in order to make all the other sh*t fair, here are the requirements.

To every girl who let him watch the game with his buddies without bitching.
To every girl who gave him head while you were on your period.
To every girl who cooked him steak and potatoes because that's what he wanted, not your shitty ass meatloaf.
To every girl who allowed herself to be photographed in a Catholic schoolgirl's outfit.
To every girl who just shook your head and laughed when your man looked at another girl's ass in passing.
To every girl who hands off the paper to her man as he heads to the bathroom for his daily ablutions.
To every girl who just ignored the toilet seat up.
To every girl who washed the shaven stubble down the drain without bitching.
To every girl who fixed it herself instead of waiting for her man to do it instead.
To every girl who decided that maybe the best thing to give her man was a special treat from the sex shop.
To every girl who told her man that yes, he was totally bigger than average.
To every girl who went to the kitchen and got him a beer when she noticed the bottle was almost empty.
To every girl who said "honey, let's just stay in tonight, order pizza and play video games together."
To every girl who said "hey, I'm going to invite my girlfriend over tonight for a threesome, is that cool?"

Stop being stupid douchebag wh*res. If you expect a man to dote on you and rub your feet and buy you flowers, you'd better be making sure he's just as happy.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 6:27 pm 
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Quote:
To every girl who cooked him steak and potatoes because that's what he wanted, not your shitty ass meatloaf.
I won't date a girl who doesn't know how to make a decent meatloaf (or isn't willing to learn).

That is just wrong.

EvoJ


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 1:47 am 
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hmm...could probably use that story as an opener. :)

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 6:52 pm 
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Quote:
To every girl who said "honey, let's just stay in tonight, order pizza and play video games together."
LOL, u got a nintendo?


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 11:01 pm 
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Yeah, I absolutely agree, women don't deserve shit.


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