Hello folks! First, I would like to say hello to each and every single one of you.The community looks awesome, full of great people from what i could tell. Although I ve read the forum before, I´d never registered, so I guess I´m new around here!

Prior to starting, I must acknowledge 4 things:
1) this was my personal experience with the matter at hand, and by no means it´s flawless, fail-proof or the best one, that´s what i think at least. It can work for you (and i hope it does!), but it also may not; that is why I would like to encourage all of you guys to share here how you built your confidence, and make any corrections you think are necessary to my instructions/advices. I´m non the wiser.
2) You can use the information provided here to become a PUA in addition to the other stuff in the forum, if you so wish it. Nevertheless that is not, and I state again THAT IS NOT the aim of this post. My goal is merely to try and provide you wonderful people with a confidence level, that enables you to live your life more at ease in all aspects, it does not seek "game" purposes only, that just comes with the confidence!
3) Please do excuse me if any grammatical or writing errors present themselves here, i am no native speaker!
4) Any swearing or jokes present are intended with humourous and/or situational purposes only,I do not mean any offense!

Let´s cut to it then :

I´m guessing you could be thinking one of the following things by now:
- " Jesus fucking Christ, not another one of these "confidence is everything" bullshit posts again"
- " The guy is probably a 10/10,confidence either came to him naturally or he had it already, confidence does help, but looks matter more" (I won´t deny that,I am as beautiful as taking an enormous dump after a 15 hour Roadtrip with a Burrito-Meal stop halfway through )
- " Oh, this seems interesting, I´ll take a look! " (in which case you´re not a judgemental asshole like myself )

MINDBLOWN, right? I guess I should become a part-time psychic.This will be long, so please bear with me, it´s worth it.
Now in all seriousness, let me tell you my little story: I´m 20 years old now, but this whole thing started when I was 16. I was not one of those quiet ,extremely shy guys, I had quite a lot of friends (both male and female),being more of an extrovert you might wonder whats my problem with girls then?I could talk to girls,however i did not flirt with them. I could not for the life of me figure how to do it,or even pick up the courage to do so. Here´s what´s even more weird: I´m a good looking guy! Of course not a greek god like I joked about previously, but (at least in my country) a 7/8. And it´s not like girls were gazing at me with awe the whole time and I was to slow/dumb to notice it, after the first 5/10 minutes of conversation most of them lost COMPLETE interest in me. I hadn´t even KISSED a girl up to that point. I sorta knew I was good looking from what I was told (no, not just my mum, my grandma as well!) by friends and some strangers, yet, what´s going?
I eventually figured out i lacked confidence. Confidence to approach women, confidence to stick to my decisions, and confidence overall.So i started digging around, and found a couple of things that helped me. If you´re not 100% that confidence is what you need, let us make a little experiment (i do not recall where i got this from now): imagine you are walking, by yourself. You suddenly come across a group of girls (attractive or not, doesn´t matter). As they walk by your side they interrumpt their conversation and burst into a small,whispered, giglish laugh; and keep on walking. What would you guess they´re laughing about?
-If you think they´re laughing about you,that you were the ugliest human being they ever came across, that your clothes looked shitty ,that you looked stupid or all 3 put together, keep on reading this post mate, cause good chances are they weren´t laughing about that, you just have low confidence.There´s also a chance you have some degree of trouble socializing, right?
-If you think they were nervous because they came across the dreamiest man they´d ever seen, then go screw a Victoria´s Secret model and quit wasting your time here
My guess is you chose the 1st option.You see, confidence is a funny thing, you don´t consiously realize you have it until you stop to think about it, and by then you´ve had it for a longer time than you think, trust me. Before proceeding, if you still think that looks matter more than confidence take a look at this fellas to finally get the idea off that though brain of yours here are comedians Aziz Ansari and Seth Green with their respective spouses (and there are way more examples, just go out to the street and look around)


Two high pitch voiced, short, small built , below average (green not so much),hobbit-looking guys with gorgeous spouses. Guess what, they´re comedians, and comedians have one thing in common: confidence. Hell,If i were a girl/homosexual i´d drop my panties/boxers when listening to them talk faster than Ali dropped Liston in the 1st round
Now with the established concept that looks are not that importante, we can go on.
1st steps
We´ll start small. Go on with your everyday life, like you would.As of now, I´ll only ask of you a couple of things you should do. First and foremost, I want you to learn to sit,stand and walk properly you slob! You most likely think I´m coked out of my mind right now, but I speak the truth. The way we do those things have an impact on how we feel. And if you do them confidently, guess how you´ll feel?Our body language speaks louder than our words. Still not believing me? Take a look at this Ted Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc
Walking: walk with long strides (not that it looks like you´re jumping though), your heel must touch the ground first and the rest of your foot should follow (to simplify, your knee should be almost fully extended before your front foot touches the ground).Keep your back straight, your shoulders laid back (be careful not to puff your chest either) and walk with your chin paralell to the ground at ALL times. Take a look at the ground to make sure you wont trip over anything and then proceed to look in a straight line,towards your direction, DO NOT LOOK DOWN TOO MUCH.
Standing: Stand straight,shoulders laid back,chin paralell to the ground, and don´t look down. Stand with a wide stance (don´t overdo it though) to take up space (not too much to look like an asshole,not too little to come across as overly submissive) with your hands either on your hips, or to your side. Try not to put them in your pocket and avoid fidgeting. A neat little trick to stop your fidgeting needs is to press your thumb against your index and middle finger!
Sitting: Follow the same guidelines as in standing, the idea here is also to take up a reasonable amount of space, withouth overdoing it. Back straight, chin up, arms wide. Try not to look like a soldier though, make it kinda natural.
Here´s a cool little photo that sums most of it all (though the sitting guy is a little bit too much for my taste)
You´ll need to be quite conscious of these acts at first to do them, but little by little they´ll get easier and more automatic, till they become of second nature to you.
With our military-etiquette lesson concluded, let us begin with the fun part
People
If you choked whilst reading the subheading of this part, do not worry. I won´t ask you to speak in front of a beastly crowd a-la Martin Luther King,that is not needed.This will be small deeds,interactions, that like the previous ones, will get you closer to your goal.
- Learn to mantain eye contact: try to do this in all conversations for as long as you can, with both male and female individuals.Keep in mind that you should also avoid looking like Hannibal Lecter staring at his next fresh meal, reason why should break eye contact every now and then because with strangers it can feel a little bit threatening to them sometimes; but break it to the side (not down), and establish eye contact once again. I know for some this is easier said than done. That is why if you have trouble doing this, do it at home, with your family or people that you are close to and trust before doing it with "strangers". From there on go a little further, and while walking down the street, try and make eye contact with people passing by; holding it for like 2 seconds (always walking like i thaught ya´). When you already feel more comfortable do this when talking to strangers. Little by little, you will get the hang of it, until you´re totally at ease with making eye contact.
- Talk to passing strangers: Im not telling you to asking them out on a date, just ask for the simplest thing you can think of. Ask for the time,directions, even though you know both of them! The purpose of this is to get you at ease when talking to strangers. If you are already able to, do this whilst making eye contact.Do this as often as you can
-Speaking: when talking, make yourself heard. Don´t shout, but dont whisper either.This might need practice.If you´re not able to do it with strangers, start alone (yes, like a nutjob in front of a mirror) or with family, like previously. Try to speak clearly and not too fast.End your sentences on a lower pitch; this makes you seem more confident by making it look like you´re stating a fact instead of posing a question (if you end everything you say on a high note), thus being sure of what you are saying.
-Get at ease with touching people: This part´s a bit more advanced, and also "game" oriented,so try not to get your hands on a lovely restriction order with this one.By touch i mean, when speaking to someone you had, or have acquired the smallest degree of trust with (friend,a stranger you shared a laugh with,family,etc.), if the ocassion presents itself (be it a joke that made you laugh,an advice you´re giving,etc) touch them slightly, and do not linger in the shoulder or arm,this is kinda like "the politicans touch" (although they linger a bit). Here´s an example
When you´re finally at ease with touching people do it as often as you can, and learn the different kinds of touches and their purposes(you will most likely find that in this forum). The last part is more "hooking up" oriented by the way,not a vital part of the confidence building ,though it helps.
- Learn a bit about other people´s body language, and control your own: soo... i kinda did not not where to put this one, so here it goes. Don´t try to become Cal Lightman, that is not required. Just learn to pick up a thing or two about body language, to help you in your interactions with people.After all, body language says more than words do.You´ll also find plenty of things related to that in this forum.Play a little game once you know a thing or to,I call it the "people guessing" game.Whenever you´re around people, focus on a person and try to analyze in a sherlock-style with their body language.As quickly as you can, then move on. If you´re at a social event do it, and try to confirm your theories afterwards, either by asking the person itself (like approaching and saying : "why are you sad?" if that´s what you thought, for example) or someone else that knows them.You´ll get it wrong plenty of times at first, but then it gets more natural and easier.
What´s more important to the confidence aspect of this post, is mastering YOUR body language.This is probably THE most important part of the whole thing. I´ve taught you a thing or two already (walking,sitting,standing,etc.) but there is more you need to learn. Illustrators for example, try to move your hands as much as possible when talking to help illustrate (yeah,you guessed it) your point, this ,among many other things you should read up on in the forum,will help you boost your confidence level throughout your body language, which is the easiest and fastest way to do it (in my experience)
Other Stuff

-Dress the Part: this means to dress apropiately for the ocation,dress nicely! You dont need to go to the gym wearing an Armani suit, but fit your wardrobe to each circumstance, and do it properly. Don´t go to a party with friends wearing a hoodie that makes you look like a meth-addicted hobo, nor wear a tux (unless such thing is specified hehe). Find something that looks good on you and use it.If you look good, you feel good.
Smell nice: It is scientifically proven that people that smell good, are subconsciously (and sometimes consciously) more attractive to others. Yes, I am aware that I sound like a shitty infomertial, but it´s true, so be a sport and buy a nice deodorant/perfume/cologne that smells nice, spare no expense, it goes a long way.
Perform Physical Activity: go to the Gym,pick up a sport, whatever you desire, just move. The idea is not to get more physically attractive per se, just the doing stuff will get your system going,and you´ll get an endorphin boost, our "feel-good" hormone which makes you (*prepare to get your mind blown*) feel good, and in turn more confident.As bonus and if you work hard enough, you´ll get fitter, but thats not the goal.

Conclusion
What can I say? By now you either quit reading, had a stroke because of reading so much, or are wondering, how will all things help me build confidence, when they are seemingly unconnected? The thing is, they all build a foundation upon which you can improve your self confidence: through body language you´ll get better at understanding people thus making it easier to get friends and/or get lucky , with the control of your own body language you can also affect how you feel about yourself and as a consecuence how others perceive you, also aiding to the aforementioned stuff (friends/getting laid) through which you´ll also get more confident as a consequence, and so on.It kind of becomes a cycle after a while; you become a little more confident so as to do things that will also boost your confidence more in return, get it slick?

How this changed me and my personality? Well, in my case it has had it´s ups and downs. On the one hand, I did manage to get what I wanted (success with girls). I ´ve had my first kiss at 17y/o, and did it with total confidence. After that I´ve had sex with girls as well,but that´s none of your business ya´ perv I´m confident in the things I do, and the decisions I make now (something I hadn´t noticed I needed before), but it also affected my personality. The reading of body language, and mastering of my own, took a big conscious effort on my part at first, reason why I had to temper my behaviour, and became a more observing, calculative and sometimes manipulative individual than I used to be,which is not necessarily good or bad, just a change. It may or may not happen to you, each case will vary I´m sure.
Also take into account, that the amount of work needed to put into this, will be different from person to person. As I explained earlier, I was more of an extrovert than introvert, I could talk to people from both sexes, and mantain eye contact, and so on. If you are a rather shy person, you might need a little extra work put into it, but the steps will be the same as the ones i described above, which covered most cases I´d like to think! You won´t notice it at first, but after things have happened, you will realize, you have become a confident person!
As you probably noticed, the quality of the post decreased constantly along the way, but that´s just cause my cognitive functions are decreasing in an equally proportional manner as I write, after all, It´s a long post. I probably forgot a thing or two anyways
I would like to thank you all for taking your time to read this, and hope it helps you, like it helped me.Feel free to ask any questions you like in the comments, post your thought,make corrections or simply add another tip. This was my personal experience after all! Cheers