Need a new frame or a way to handle it.. PLS HELP



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PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2015 6:09 pm 
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As first of all, hi everybody.. I'm new to the forum, but I know alot about the game, been studying it for a few years now and am satisfied with my game for now.. My game is more like a social proof type, and I don't have to struggle much when I go out with my girl friends..

But enough about that.. The real reason that I write this topic is because my inner game is a mess right now.. I was in a relationship for almost a year and a half, and it broke up cause I had to move to a new country, and she stayed in the city we met and had the relationship..

The whole relationship was like a dream.. We never had a fight, we wanted the same things in life, same taste in music, humor, movies, everything, and as I said, it was a dream I never wanted to wake up from..
But then we haven't seen each other for 2-3 months, cause I couldn't come whenever I wanted and she stayed in collage and had exams and so on..

Then it all broke apart.. She said she doesn't have the strenght to be with somebody who she knows is there but then again isn't (like she can't hug me when she wants and stuff like that that).. I'm 24 and she's 22.. I have much more experiance in life and I knew a long distance relationship ain't gonna be easy but I also knew that it's managable, and that I want it to work.. Altough, she said she hasn't got the strenght for something like that, and we kinda decided to break apart, but it was more cause of her (I was still ready to fight for it)

Now, I'm all alone in this new city, feel like crap, don't know what to think, what to do, how to move forward.. Am searching for a job right now, but I can't decide what I wanna do cause I feel like I lost all my passions.. We're broken up for some 6 weeks now and I'm actively working on myself.. I started to go to the gym again (lost 7,5kg), I've returned to learn psychology and the game, and am trying to better myself in every possible way, but still, I get this like triggers and I remeber her and the relationship and I feel like I wanna die..

I'm aware of all the things and the inner game, but it kinda doesn't have an effect on me and I really don't know what to do anymore.. At one moment i feel like I can bench press the world, and at another one I feel like my heart is just going to stop beating..

I'm also aware that it sometimes mabye comes to me like that cause I may feel needy, cause of being alone right now and not having that security and the optiones, but I've also lost the will to go after new girls, and be with someone else right now..

So, to sum it all up, that break up, for whom I never tought it would come, really broke me and I don't know how to get back up like I should.. So if you guys know a way to help me, I would be really thankful

P.S. sorry for my english, it's my 3. language, but it's getting better with time..

Ty


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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2015 3:02 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:53 am
Posts: 790
Hey bro, I know it may seem tough now, but you'll get through this. Long distance relationships are not easy even if you have some personal visits from time to time. Lot's of guys get back into the game whey break up, so you're not alone.

The important thing for you to do is keep yourself occupied with other things and NOT think about her. Any time you think about her, you will start to get those BAD feelings again. Focus all your time and energy in other pursuits, such as your hobbies, passions, meeting new people, etc. Make new guy and female friends. Build a new and strong social circle. You just need to start approaching a lot more and get back into the flow of things.

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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2015 1:29 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 11, 2015 5:47 pm
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Yeah that's what I tought. I know the time is my biggest ally, but I kinda hoped there would be some like tehnique for getting over it faster in the whole gaming community..

But hey, ty for the reply mate :)


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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2015 1:43 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:17 pm
Posts: 3427
Location: Toronto, Canada
Quote:
I kinda hoped there would be some like tehnique for getting over it faster in the whole gaming community..)
It doesn't sound like you're really ready to date again - though that's what I would have suggested. Getting over someone is easier when there's a rebound.

Typical advice for getting over an ex is delete/block on email/text/social media, etc... out of sight, out of mind... Get on Tinder --- if not for the dating, at least for the instant validation of people swiping right on you and matching. It's a bit of an ego boost and it's a way to keep busy with girls (and get a date or a lay out of it in the process if you want).


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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2015 3:07 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 11, 2015 5:47 pm
Posts: 5
Well i kinda was on a few dates but I lost the will to date other girls.. Don't know if that's cause this break up drained energy from me, or my subconcious doesn't wanna go trough something similar again, but I know that I don't have the urge to go out and find somebody else..

I've started to work on myself, like go to the gym, learn psychology and game again, I'm planning on changeing my wardrobe, and all in all to be my best self I can be..

I'm aware it's a long term proccess and those changes and improvements don't happen over night and I'm cool with that, because I know that when I get a hold of myself again, women will come naturally into my life..

This inner game situation of mine depends on the day.. One day (like today) I feel ok, motivated to move on, improve myself knowing all is going to be ok.. But then there are days when something triggeres in me, I remember her or something about her and feel like hoppeless..

That's the main reason I worte to you guys.. Cause I don't want to feel lost and hopeless anymore when such feelings come back to me..

I know time heals all wounds and it really is getting better from day to day, I'm just kinda looking for a solution for those sad day that come uninvitied..

And again, ty for your effort :)


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