How to Build Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence?



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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 11:07 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2014 8:38 pm
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Hey guys,

I have shit self esteem and self confidence. I'm currently 22 and I've been like this my whole life. I'm a good looking guy, but that's my biggest downfall. My main problem is my happiness comes from female validation, and how I look in the mirror that particular day. I know that I need internal validation. Can you guys help me get started and become my coaches? I know, in the end, it's up to me to make the change.

Thanks!

Two Sides


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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 6:42 pm 
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Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
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What I have begin to find is that the men who seem to be struggling with women the most do not have a genuine love for women. It would appear that they like women because they have a desire to approach them and go after them, but I wonder what their reasoning for liking women actually is. Do they like women because they want to have sex with them or do they like women because they understand and like what women are?

For example: What parts of a woman turn you on sexually? Is it just her butt and her breast? The very same parts that have been sexualized by society. Or do you and can you become sexually aroused by any part of the female physical make up or physiological make up?

If you can’t, that could be the root of why it is you don’t have the abundant amount of women in your life that you would like.

I often tell guys that one key aspect of being attractive to women is to develop a psychotic level of self confidence. A confidence that isn’t affected by what anything other than what you think about yourself. Take an anorexic for example: Anorexia is mental disease in which a man or female who is extremely underweight still looks in the mirror and perceives themselves as fat regardless of how skinny they get. With bones, skin, and organs being the only parts of their body left they continue to starve themselves because they feel self conscious about looking fat. Its a self confidence issue from my perspective. And many men need to develop reverse anorexia when it comes to how they feel about themselves. A man needs to view himself as the most attractive man on earth regardless of what he looks like, because a woman cares more about how you feel about yourself than they do about how they feel about you. When a mans frame is strong enough a woman will submit herself to his frame. So whether you’re frame is “I’m an ugly fat loser” or your frame is “ I’m the most attractive man on earth” she will take on the beliefs that you have about yourself to be the beliefs she has about you – in part.

The remainder of what she will take on is the feelings that you have about her. If you think she is special you will communicate to her from a frame that says she’s unique and not only will she feel unique, but she will begin to attribute the things you feel about her to be things she feels about you. People are mirrors of ourselves and subconsciously we know this. So like the old expression goes.. “ it takes one to know one” – what you think about yourself and what you think about women will begin to make up what it is they think about you.

The brings me to the topic at hand.

The more attracted you become to a woman without compromising your integrity for her the more attractive she will feel and the more attractive she will feel you are. Build her up and you will become the beneficiary of that which was built up.

So just as a man is instructed to develop a reverse anorexia type of psychotic self confidence, it would be wise for him to develop a psychotic level of attraction to women as a whole. An attraction that is based around more than their physical features. And this attraction isn’t something a man would necessarily have to express verbally, this attraction will influence his state of mind, which will influence his frame/vibe which will influence how the women around him FEEL when he is around. If every time you’re around, a woman feels completely loved and desired how often do you think she would want to be around you?

Her care for Facebook and Instagram likes will begin to diminish, because the man in her life will have developed a damn near psychotic level of attraction for her.

So how do you do this you ask?

Get rid of the pornography for starters. All porn is doing is entertaining you in the moment while completely desensitizing you in the future. The more porn you watch the more and more ridicules it has to become to continue to sexually stimulate you. Ridding your life of porn and thing like “online dating sites” that allow you to see countless women over and over while comparing them to the women just swipes away all work to toward lowering the amount of dopamine your brain releases when you see attractive women. For more on this go visit ( www.YourBrainOnPorn.com)

Now,

As I have repeated in damn near a fourth of all of my articles, “ your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character and your character becomes your destiny. “

If one wishes to develop a psychotic level of attraction to women and a psychotic level of belief in their own ability they must first think it with continuous repetition until it becomes belief.

Beliefs are the thoughts that we have repeated over and over for years upon years until we no longer have to think them because they have become ingrained into our mental make up as belief.

This isn’t some quick fix article, I don’t cook microwaved food. This is an introduction into developing yourself into a love filled home cooked meal.

If you currently have a girlfriend train yourself to become sexually attracted to everything from her ankles to her eyelids. All attraction starts as the thoughts that we have in our own mind. And the more attracted to your woman you are the more of herself she will hand over to you.

A man must fight off the mental temptation to fall into seductive stagnancy. You know the times in which you begin to look at your girl and you’ve gotten used to her…You know, when your thoughts of her are no longer as stimulating as they once were when you first met her? No one caused that but YOU, slowly but surely you got lazy and/or focused on other things and forgot to appreciate your woman beyond the point in which you WON the “game”. You have to reverse this process and depending on how far along you are it will take more time and effort for some as it will for some others.

When you see her or when you think of her begin to tell yourself how sexually attracted you are to her smile, her lips, her cheeks, her thighs, her calfs, her butt, her shoulders, her mind, the sound of her voice, the way she blinks, the way she walks, the way she sits, her tone when she says your name and so on. Begin to repeat over and over how attracted you are to the aspects of her that no one has even thought of but you. You have to convince yourself and over time you will be able to enjoy your woman once again as you had enjoyed her when you first met her.

If you don’t have a girl the secret lies in how you feel about both women and yourself as I stated above. Begin to train yourself to see yourself as attractive by mentally and outwardly repeating to yourself “ I am the most attractive man in the history of the planet” “I am smart, funny, humorous and happy” “ I have the ability to man any woman life full, wonderful, and complete”. Tell yourself “ Women are beautiful, loving, and kind” “ Women love me, they show me great deals of attention, and I want them in my life” “I love the way women walk, the look the way they talk, I love all aspects of a woman”. Repeat these things nine trillion times if it takes because, the more these thoughts go from just being thoughts to becoming beliefs through mental and verbal repetition, the more you will see yourself as attractive, and the more women will find themselves attracted to you.

It all starts in our thoughts. And people treat us how we treat ourselves first, and how we treat them second. Become deeply attracted to women and they will become deeply attracted to you.

Eddie Fews

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PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 1:17 pm 
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I like what Eddie said above, and as a man you really should devote a significant chunk of your life
on understanding self-esteem and self-confidence.

Over the past few years I've helped hundreds of guys increase their self-esteem, self-image and self-confidence.

And if I had to boil it all down, it comes down to spending time in UNDERSTANDING yourself, and in DOING ACTIONS
that affect your life in a positive way.

Reading books on self-esteem and confidence, like the 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem and Honouring Yourself by Nathaniel Branden is part of UNDERSTANDING.

Doing ACTION is about doing something that at the end of the day, makes you feel PROUD of yourself, as opposed
to doing something that you feel ASHAMED of (like watching porn)

So the more things you DO that make you feel like stronger, better person will RAISE your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Help the elderly in a nursing home, volunteer in a kitchen for homeless people, hit the gym or do some exercise,
study, at work - do more than expected, be kind with people...this will all make you feel PROUD of yourself.

And the more proud you feel, the better you'll feel.

And the last thing I want to say is work on yourself.

Work on your limiting beliefs, think of your past and how events shaped you - and work on re-understanding them.

MOVE from being a victim of your life, to being a CREATOR of your life.

The way I see it, this path of achieving self-esteem and self-confidence is really the path to FREEDOM.

It's about becoming free of your anxieties, fears, limiting beliefs, limitations, social conditioning, your past...just
free.

Hope this helped. The way I can help you is free you of your Approach Anxiety when approaching women, if that is
something you are struggling with. If you want to be a part of my test group, details in my signature.

Wish you best with your journey,

Phantom

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Test out my new Approach Anxiety technique, that eliminates your AA
in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

You can try it here Here: New AA Cure


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