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 Post subject: Disconnection
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 2:03 am 
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This probably belongs in my FR journal series, but it's just a series of thoughts I've had so it hardly constitutes a real entry.

From a young age, I was always the type of person that got emotionally attached to things easily...especially the opposite sex. I'm seeing it more and more as I get older that emotional attachment towards anyone you meet early-on is a weakness no matter how natural it may seem to be.

For me, I can best describe hard n' fast emotional attachment as being that spark that ignites when you feel as though you've made a connection that soon grows into a flame kindling in your belly during the first kiss. And in the hours to days following that attachment, the hope of what could be with that person you've grown attached to becomes a full-on fire that engulfs the imagination. The promise of the person you've become attached involves every sexual and non-sexual fantasy you've ever had from her being the type of girl to toss a beer to you when you get home from work to waking up next to her after your first vacation together. Irrational and unrealistic fantasies to have in regards to someone you've just met, but they're more addicting than heroin.

And when that promise is quickly broken as is often the case in the courtship game, the fire coursing through you is doused and for a time, you're hollowed out. Eventually real-world reason again takes the place of flowery imagination and things are back to the way they were before you ever made that hard n' fast emotional attachment...until you meet someone else, attach anew, and the cycle begins again. At that point, emotional attachment becomes its own little roller coaster at best and a damnation at worst.

I didn't become aware of my addiction to "connection" until recently and the damage it's done to my well-being, but now I'd like to master the skill of "disconnection"--wanting something but not being attached to it. It's not the same as not giving a fuck--from what I see, very few people can pull that act off anyway. What are truly the best ways to genuinely disconnect ourselves from things even when we want them?

Do not let circumstances control you. You change your circumstances.

-Jackie Chan

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