I have a weird problem, that shouldn't be a problem.
I'm in pickup now for quite a while, but lately I keep running into some weird stuff with pickup and social situations in general.
First off, I'm kind of tall and heavy built, but the last years I have developed a more and more dominant personality, to a point where this is getting a negative response whithout me consciously taking part in it. So its easy for me to be the alpha male; I get on a dancefloor, and if I see one or 2 other alpha's looling at me, I usually keep eyecontact, then appraoch them and slam them on the shoulders or something, to show them who's boss. ALways in a friendly matter, but I started doing these things on autopilot a year ago or so, and it works great for becoming the most alpha person in the room.
But it is beginng to have downsides:
During pickup: I need to give extra attention to comfort build, women seem to think I am "threatening" or a "bad boy", without being able to explain it. Weird enough, some women seem attracted and start giving approach invitations, or start to touch my butt and stuff like that, but sometimes I will dance next to a girl, and they litterally run away.
Also, it seems to amplify my mood. If I feel good, the alpha frame attracts. If I feel bad, it pushes people away.
Socially: this isnt just happening in the field with girls. My friends start to notice it as well, they tell me I freaked a girl out, or when they introduce me that I was too "intimidating". I didn't mind at first, but now I'm starting to think: "what am I doing wrong?". Also I keep talking about myself, or wind the conversation around myself or my own experience. I am now getting aware and annoyed with myself for not letting the other person speak or sometimes letting a silence in between. Verbal strength is one of the key elements of my alpha frame, but it has become too strong. This is also because I do commercial work, and communicate in a convincing way at least 8 hours a day. Normal people can't seem to cope with the pace of thinking and speaking and get shut out.
Downside is, I notice people avoid me or spend less time with me. I cant connect with my old friends, because they seem simplistic and boring to me. THey don't seem to see the adventure in life.
Relationships: This is the weirdest thing. I had 5 LTR's: all 5 were damsells in distress, and the more of a "challenge" these women were to me, the more I would fall in love and fight for the relationship. Now I have come to the realisation that this is actually a really bad thing. Why am I attracted to drama, insecurity and pessimism? Because I am the opposite? OR try to be? Very strange, but lately I had a few dates and I started using the dominance to scare them away or stop gaming them, because I notice they are bad for me mentally.
Last month I dated a 9.5 and a 9. At the end of the 1st date I told the 9,5 she should look me in the eye when I asked her a serious question. Her whole body shivered, as if I was going to physically hurt her if she didnt or something, and the lead to a kiss close an dinner at my place. After dinner she started saying she didn't know what to do with her life, and that I should one time join her using harddrugs. The texting went bad afterward, but I didn't really mind, because of the negativity and mental weakness in her. So I am making some progress I suppose.
My conlusion is, that I created such a huge ego around me, that its too difficult for myself and for others to connect. And therefor only get succesfull with the "special" girls so to say.
Does anyone have the experience of "growing to much" in social dynamics? I started combining the old fashioned mystery method with stuff like David X and the blueprint, and after that it got too strong.
How do I solve these calibration problems or "tone down"?
Love to get some experienced advice, thanks.
"Always leave her better then you found her"