Inner Game Problem - Chronic Oneitis (One girl to the next)



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PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2015 1:43 pm 
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Hey guys, I have a problem where I idealize one girl at a time and jump from oneitis to oneitis. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the girls I have oneitis for, and even when I was in college and dating multiple girls I would get oneitis.

I took a personality test and it either comes up ENFP or INFP. INFPs tend to idealize women there interested in, if that's any help.

I am going out and meeting other women, and I am way more comfortable in sets now though the best I have done so far is get one/two hour conversations and a couple instadates.

Any advice outside the traditional meet other women? Because I am already doing that.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2015 4:32 pm 
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I have mixed feelings about "oneitis" as it is called. On one hand you don't want to "obsess" of a particular girl but on the other hand it depends on your goals with all this. I feel that if you are still young then you should continue to date different women. Whether you do one at a time until the relationship comes to an end, then find another, or are dating a few women at a time that's up to you. If you feel you find "the one" for you then by all means pursue her.

If you goal right now is to get into a long term relationship then at some point you have to focus on one girl and build that with her.

If your goal right now is too get better with PUA material, seduction, or lays then you need to forget getting hung up on one girl and just play the game. We all get trapped into it and there is always that one girl that lingers in our thoughts at times but just don't let it stop your momentum.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 10:46 am 
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Yeah I used to be like that. I would go for any girl that showed me attention and be devastated when I got rejected.

one day I got played so hard and vowed to get played again and to keep my options open


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 3:45 pm 
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Quote:
I took a personality test and it either comes up ENFP or INFP. INFPs tend to idealize women there interested in, if that's any help.
That's your problem right there. I have developed this trait quite recently and it is annoying the crap out of me. I get succesfull in field, kiss close or good convo or something. And I get all Walt Disney on a girl I don't even know yet.

You need to start talking to yourself and tell yourself that you don't know these women and that they might have upsides, but they will also have downsides. Humans are quite weak. They make mistakes and hurt each other. Idealizing women is one of the most self destructive things you can do.

Also: have a more "attraction" mentality versus a "seduction" mentality. It's not cool if you have to "seduce". It's cooler if the girl is into YOU, and wants YOU for who YOU are. If you keep having to distort reality to make a women perfect for you, you will get hurt and probably hurt the girl as well.

REad stuff on relationships and self confidence and you will find such answers. Hope this helps! I'm sure glad to read I'm not alone with this.

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