Happiness: inner world VS outer world



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PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 4:24 pm 
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Question:
Can a mentally healthy person that is effective in creating state from within, and deriving happiness from the experience of the present moment be happy in every external situation?

Where is the line between inner and outer world? How do you know if it's your mindset or your environment that is responsible for your emotional state?

At what point can you say ok, enough, I have an effective and healthy inner world. My attitude, self amusement, gratitude, appreciation, positive thinking, focus, concentration and world view and general inner game are of a high level. I'm not happy, it's time to change my environment!

At what point do you know you are not just running away from your inner problems that will eventually catch up with you in the next place you go, and that instead you have a optimal inner world and it is your external world that is bringing you down.

I've always worked on myself internally and refused to look at the environment or people around me as being the cause for my unhappiness. At different times in my life this has lead me to spending time with people who put me down and moving to a French speaking Provence when I don't speak French, and funnily when I'm down I'm still looking internally for the solution to my happiness. Like I refuse to accept that the external world should matter.

Has any other people with some life experience encountered this or have any advice. Please no kids giving stupid answers.

Thanks for your help!


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 8:28 pm 
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The Dalai Lama could not be happy all the time.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2015 8:29 am 
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I don't know if you could reach an effectivity rate of 100% (or if that is even something desirable. I would find it rather weird to see a man smiling at his mothers funeral), but your outlook on life or your emotional self control can regulate your emotions to a great extent (or at least take undesirable "spikes" out of them). So do yourself a favour and always keep your real value in mind.

For instance: Due to work reasons, it is likely I will have no life for the coming 2 months or so. Like, literally no life. Like, I had a date last weekend and spent this entire week regretting it for the work setback it meant. I have realized this doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, that this overload is not really my fault and that it will bring me forward in life and improve me as a person. Thus, I have adopted a rather stoic attitude about it and, even though you will often hear me complaining, I don't really mind my current situation, while normally I would feel fucking bad/sad about having no social life whatsoever. Think about it: It's all in my head.

Still, as you might have realized, I still assessed the situation: And that is key: you should not be adopting a happy mindset as a standarized solution; you should be making the best of every moment after you have assessed it and conciously decided to to whatever it is you want to do.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2015 3:20 pm 
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Thanks for both replies.

I let them sink in for a few days.

Nice use of the old Dalai Lama metaphor. I believe for the most part you need to sacrifice positive emotions to grow, a large part of our strengths are forged through struggle and pain, and not in the moments where we are drinking wine and laughing with our best friends.

I suppose both answers just helped me realise I'm in a challenging time in my life right now, and I'm also seeing the most growth. It's immature thinking to believe I should be happy right now, I'm in a struggle I have chosen and I need to accept that and push through it.

I also need to keep assessing the situation accept it for what it is and make sure this is still a struggle I chose.

Lessons learned: choose your struggles in life and don't beat yourself up because your not always happy. Keep working on yourself and your environment but have the wisdom to see them for what they are.

I hope this thread might help others to remember to 'choose what they will suffer for in life.

Would anyone add anything else?


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