Why is it so painful to see her have sex with someone else?



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PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 9:02 am 
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The general question that this post addresses is the psychological causes of the sadness, bitterness, and anger that I feel when my ex has sex with another guy before I'm able to completely eliminate my emotions for her. Here's a condensed version of the underlying story:

Before I met her, I was in abundance. I had 4 girls on rotation, I was not needy, I had sex available whenever I wanted it, and life was good. During this period of confidence, non-neediness, and sharp game, I met an exceptional girl. At first sight, I saw that she was stunningly beautiful. After taking her on an instant date to Starbucks, I found that she was smart and funny too. By the second date, I discovered that she was a virgin, for religious reasons, and she would normally never go on a date with a guy who did not share her religious beliefs, I was the first to break this barrier with her. She had one bf in the past, who shared her religion, and the most she ever did was give him a bj. At 23 years old, this girl was legitimately a virgin, smoking hot, smart, funny, charismatic, and cool. I had to make her my girl. I dropped the other girls from my harem, and focused exclusively on her (mistake #1- I lost abundance, I made myself dependent on her). About 9 months later, I started to act needy, and the dynamic of the relationship changed, in that we were no longer equals anymore, but I was constantly chasing her (mistake #2). This should have been a wake up call to think about game and female psychology and change my actions, but I was distracted by school and work, and I thought that I could just keep her and everything would be fine. Pretty soon, she dumped me. Here I am now, 3 weeks after initiating no contact (she wanted to be friends, I said no).

I saw a facebook post with a mutual friend of ours, where she said something very sexually suggestive to a guy. Logically, I know that I'm not the last dick she's going to ride (even though I was the first), and that I should make peace with the fact that she's going to fuck other guys. But on an emotional level, this is bothering me really badly, I feel angry, sad, and replaced.

I know that it will be easier once I evolve out of scarcity into abundance again, but since the breakup, I've only gotten laid twice, and it didn't make me feel better. I think that understanding the psychological reasons for why I feel this way emotionally, while knowing that it's wrong logically, may help.

I anticipate the response that I should avoid all contact, including facebook, but I attend school with this girl at a relatively small institution, so it would be impossible to cut her out completely. I'll still see her around fairly often, probably with guys, because she's one of the best looking girls in the university.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 3:31 pm 
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Friggin socoal media is cause of so much anxiety. If you dont want to be her friend why be her FB friend? Because you're still needy and have to know what she's up to. Unfriend her dude, don't know why you'd want to torture yorself. There is the answer you're looking for. Why does it hurt that she's fucking other ppl, cuz you're not over her. Why can't you get over her, cuz you can see what she's up to. Flush her from your life


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 8:00 pm 
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So what happens when I see her around school, flirting with guys? The RSD crew talks a lot about lack of insecurity and hoping that she's happy in her life, which makes sense from a logical standpoint, but emotionally it really hurts to see her with other guys, knowing that she's using the skills that I taught her in the bedroom to pleasure them. I don't think I'm "needy" in the traditional sense of the word, because I have some opportunities with other women.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 8:41 pm 
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If she notices you walk by give her a warm, sincere smile, say hi and keep it moving.

If months go by and you are legit over her and you want to stop and chat because you actually, genuinely care about how she's doing, them feel free to do so.

Other than that get her out of your life, start seeing other girls and you'll be shocked at how fast you start giving zero fucks about her


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 02, 2015 5:00 am 
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Logically, I know that I'm not the last dick she's going to ride (even though I was the first), and that I should make peace with the fact that she's going to fuck other guys.

I know that it will be easier once I evolve out of scarcity into abundance again...I anticipate the response that I should avoid all contact, including facebook...
You're a smart dude; you already know these things. Unfortunately it doesn't make things easier emotionally, I know. I'd recommend blocking her on Facebook. Yeah, maybe she finds out and thinks less of you for it, but it will really give you more space from potential emotional spikes while you're getting over her. And when you do get over her, none of this stuff will really matter then. You'll see her around, say hi, maybe have a conversation, and then move along.

Pretty much everything Greggomatik said.

It's a long road, man. In time, she'll represent just a few mile stretch of your journey, and hopefully you can look back in gratitude having learned from that experience.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 12:04 am 
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Quote:
The general question that this post addresses is the psychological causes of the sadness, bitterness, and anger that I feel when my ex has sex with another guy before I'm able to completely eliminate my emotions for her. Here's a condensed version of the underlying story:

Before I met her, I was in abundance. I had 4 girls on rotation, I was not needy, I had sex available whenever I wanted it, and life was good. During this period of confidence, non-neediness, and sharp game, I met an exceptional girl. At first sight, I saw that she was stunningly beautiful. After taking her on an instant date to Starbucks, I found that she was smart and funny too. By the second date, I discovered that she was a virgin, for religious reasons, and she would normally never go on a date with a guy who did not share her religious beliefs, I was the first to break this barrier with her. She had one bf in the past, who shared her religion, and the most she ever did was give him a bj. At 23 years old, this girl was legitimately a virgin, smoking hot, smart, funny, charismatic, and cool. I had to make her my girl. I dropped the other girls from my harem, and focused exclusively on her (mistake #1- I lost abundance, I made myself dependent on her). About 9 months later, I started to act needy, and the dynamic of the relationship changed, in that we were no longer equals anymore, but I was constantly chasing her (mistake #2). This should have been a wake up call to think about game and female psychology and change my actions, but I was distracted by school and work, and I thought that I could just keep her and everything would be fine. Pretty soon, she dumped me. Here I am now, 3 weeks after initiating no contact (she wanted to be friends, I said no).

I saw a facebook post with a mutual friend of ours, where she said something very sexually suggestive to a guy. Logically, I know that I'm not the last dick she's going to ride (even though I was the first), and that I should make peace with the fact that she's going to fuck other guys. But on an emotional level, this is bothering me really badly, I feel angry, sad, and replaced.

I know that it will be easier once I evolve out of scarcity into abundance again, but since the breakup, I've only gotten laid twice, and it didn't make me feel better. I think that understanding the psychological reasons for why I feel this way emotionally, while knowing that it's wrong logically, may help.

I anticipate the response that I should avoid all contact, including facebook, but I attend school with this girl at a relatively small institution, so it would be impossible to cut her out completely. I'll still see her around fairly often, probably with guys, because she's one of the best looking girls in the university.
There's nothing to do but to just ride it out.

Realise that she's GOING to move on, and that it makes no sense to even think about her and any other guys because you two are no longer in a relationship.

It will hurt like fuck, but after a while the pain will become more and more bearable.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 3:21 am 
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If you genuinely are into a girl I don't believe you completely get over her, it just gets easier to deal with. Time is key, and would 100% delete all forms of her social media


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2015 12:32 am 
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Thanks for the advice guys. I'm proud to say, I have conquered a bad case of oneitus

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Stop being "perfect." It's time to evolve.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 8:09 am 
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Following up on this- just found out that this girl was cheating on me while I was with her. Sleeping at my place one night, and staying with another guy another night. The oneitus is gone, but I feel like I got burned.

Do you recommend retaliation, and if so, what is the best method. I already told her current bf that she's a liar and she'll probably lie to him too. He doesn't care because he's getting his dick bronzed. Suggestions welcomed

_________________
My #1 MONEY line to pull sets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkHjnZgCP18 (0:25)

Stop being "perfect." It's time to evolve.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2015 1:11 am 
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Dude, you're turning from one-itis guy to a stalker/psychopath.

You need to do something to let this woman go from your life.

Turn on your car and go for a trip to a new city, meet some new people, clear your head and get
some perspective on the situation.

If all you'll do is sit behind your computer and check her fb profile every 37 seconds, you're not
going to feel any better.

You'll actually turn yourself into even a sadder version of yourself than what you're currently doing to yourself.

Dude, don't you have any self-respect?

First go away for couple of days and get some perspective.

Then the problem will solve itself out on it's own, because you'll come to accept what happened as just
SHIT HAPPENS.

Trust me, I know exactly how you feel and where you're coming from. I am warning you, if you don't
stop now, you will have YEARS of consequences. I know this is easier said than done, but you gotta
be disciplined and pull your ass away from this situation.

You asked about retaliation?

The best revenge is success. Go away, clear your mind, take your time
to process this and then carry on with your life.

She doesn't need you to be the "crazy boyfriend who stalks me now and is jealous about my boyfriends..."

Be the guy who she could have had, but lost. And now regrets.

You've been warned.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 6:27 pm 
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Quote:
Following up on this- just found out that this girl was cheating on me while I was with her. Sleeping at my place one night, and staying with another guy another night. The oneitus is gone, but I feel like I got burned.

Do you recommend retaliation, and if so, what is the best method. I already told her current bf that she's a liar and she'll probably lie to him too. He doesn't care because he's getting his dick bronzed. Suggestions welcomed
Sit down and calm down.

You obviously haven't gotten over this girl if you think you need to retaliate. She's out of your life - stop dreaming about "getting back at her" and move on. That's all there is to it.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 5:50 pm 
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If she cheated on you she clearly deserves none of your time, energy or attention. Unfortunately that's what you're giving her by plotting revenge. I've been in your shoes and all this done is postpone the process of getting over her. You're better served by using your energy to actually get over her, get our there and start dating. Again, it's amazing how little you'll care when you have a sexy body in your bed


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 5:50 pm 
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If she cheated on you she clearly deserves none of your time, energy or attention. Unfortunately that's what you're giving her by plotting revenge. I've been in your shoes and all this done is postpone the process of getting over her. You're better served by using your energy to actually get over her, get our there and start dating. Again, it's amazing how little you'll care when you have a sexy body in your bed


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