Pick Up Hurting My Beliefs On Love



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PostPosted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 6:01 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:03 am
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Hello guys. I'm here today for the same reasons as a lot of people on this forum. I was in middle school and although I was never completely terrible with girls I did go through a lot of friend zoning and oneitis phases. When you're young you don't really know how to handle these things so you THINK you're in love but really it's just attachment to the girl. Fast forward to my senior year of high school and my perspective is COMPLETELY different. Learning about the PUA community has changed so much of both my inner and outer game. I'm by no means a pro but I have definitely improved a lot in both my dating life and social life.

The problem that I'm having is that I can't see love anymore... One of the dangers I feel of the PUA community is that it trains you to view social interaction very logically. Does this girl really love me or is it just that I used to proper body language, push-pull, and passed all her shit tests? Do I really love this girl or is it just that I have oneitis, she's been playing hard to get, she's been pushing me away and is already preselected by other men.

Where does it all end and where does it all lead to?

Will there always be a hotter girl? Will I never be satisfied with what I have? Are girls like drugs in the sense that they're addictive for 3 months until your brain becomes desensitized to them and you're simply ready for the next round?

If all I see is the logic behind everything then just how do I know whether I'm really in love with a girl?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 9:08 am 
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Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 7:40 am
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Personally I think it comes down to balance.

1. If you have been with a girl a long time, have attraction + comfort and have a strong sense of self identity then this sets you up for healthy 'love'

2. All of the above minus self identity leads to one-itis (you are living in her world, no self-purpose, clingy, needy etc)


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 1:08 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
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Quote:
Hello guys. I'm here today for the same reasons as a lot of people on this forum. I was in middle school and although I was never completely terrible with girls I did go through a lot of friend zoning and oneitis phases. When you're young you don't really know how to handle these things so you THINK you're in love but really it's just attachment to the girl. Fast forward to my senior year of high school and my perspective is COMPLETELY different. Learning about the PUA community has changed so much of both my inner and outer game. I'm by no means a pro but I have definitely improved a lot in both my dating life and social life.

The problem that I'm having is that I can't see love anymore... One of the dangers I feel of the PUA community is that it trains you to view social interaction very logically. Does this girl really love me or is it just that I used to proper body language, push-pull, and passed all her shit tests? Do I really love this girl or is it just that I have oneitis, she's been playing hard to get, she's been pushing me away and is already preselected by other men.

Where does it all end and where does it all lead to?

Will there always be a hotter girl? Will I never be satisfied with what I have? Are girls like drugs in the sense that they're addictive for 3 months until your brain becomes desensitized to them and you're simply ready for the next round?

If all I see is the logic behind everything then just how do I know whether I'm really in love with a girl?
Good day my friend.

I was going to answer extensively but I realize that another thread answers your questions and might be more helpful.

Here
the-centered-man-manifesto-defining-you ... 34859.html

Warm regards
Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 3:38 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:03 am
Posts: 33
Quote:
Personally I think it comes down to balance.

1. If you have been with a girl a long time, have attraction + comfort and have a strong sense of self identity then this sets you up for healthy 'love'

2. All of the above minus self identity leads to one-itis (you are living in her world, no self-purpose, clingy, needy etc)
Could you explain how NOT having a strong sense of self-identity can lead to one-itis?

The way that I few the identity is as a mentally created construct based off of past experiences. I honestly prefer to not trap myself into any sort of identity because I feel like it can stop you from learning and trying out new things.

How could any man learn how to be good with women for example if he is already convinced that he is bad with women and always get rejected?
Quote:
the-centered-man-manifesto-defining-your-identity-vt134859.html
Thanks a lot for replying mack.

I understand what you were trying to show me through this post. Basically there are so many guys that think that once they have the best job, house, car, or body then they will finally be able to attract a women. They use external things in order to validate their own value.

I find that true self esteem comes out of the realization that it doesn't truly exist aside from your own mentally constructed thought process about your self.

Applied to the game it would look something like this.

You see that hot girl over there? From observation we can tell that she is definitely good looking at least from a subjective perspective. Now does that make her any more valuable than the girl on the side who isn't as good looking?

Without a clear definition of what the word "value" means we cannot answer this question.

What does it mean to be valuable and is their such thing as an objective value or is it all subjective based off of the person?

The biggest pro of this realization is that you no longer see attractive girls as being any more higher up or to good for you. At least from my own experience.

Still though I would like to receive some more insights on value if you have any to offer.


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