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4 Core Elements Stopping You From Having Success With Women
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Author:  Black Phantom [ Wed May 21, 2014 12:45 pm ]
Post subject:  4 Core Elements Stopping You From Having Success With Women
4 Core Elements Stopping You From Having Success With Women

Have you ever asked yourself why do some guy have success with women naturally, while
some of us have to work hard at learning how to do it?

Don't you get pissed off when you see guys walking around with beautiful women, and they never
read a thing about pick-up, but here you are learning all this pick-up stuff, and you still can't get a
girl to go out with you?

Well I have.

And after studying what is this difference for years now, I've discovered that there are
4 core elements that are stopping you from having the kind of success with women you
always wanted.

And they are not about knowing the right pick up line or what to say when she says "Hi" to you.

These 4 core areas is what makes the difference between a guy who is "natural" with women and
has never learned any pick up line in his life, and a guy who is constantly sitting on the forum learning
new techniques and strategies to try to get women - but never succeeding in it.

So let's dive right into them.

1st Core Area: YOUR CONFIDENCE

Can you guess what is the #1 quality that women say is the most attractive quality in a guy?

His CONFIDENCE.

You can be broke, wear not-so-fashionable-clothes, and be dowright ugly (like Casanova was, yuk)
and STILL have women... if only you can develop this magical state called CONFIDENCE in yourself.

Guys who are naturally good with women have confidence about themselves.

But what is confidence?

Very few people know how to define confidence with women, and mostly say stuff like:

- Confidence is about not giving a fuck about what people think of you
- Confidence is about being relaxed and cool with the ladies
- Confidence is about just doing it no matter the consequences

But very simply put, your confidence is how you THINK and FEEL about YOURSELF.

- You can feel ashamed about yourself, or you can feel proud about yourself.
- You can feel like you have no worth compared to other guys and women, or you can feel that you
are as worthy as any guy out there.
- You can feel that you don't deserve to be dating hot women, or you could feel that you deserve
all the beauty of the world.
- You can feel that you're the most repulsive guy on the planet, or you can feel that you got what it
takes to attract women.

Natural's or guys you see walk around with hot women do have some insecurities about themselves,
but they are not as deep and as paralyzing as the insecurities I see most guys who don't have
success have.

If you want to have success with women and dating, your first core area to focus on is your confidence,
how you think and feel about yourself.

I'll be posting on different ways you can increase your confidence later, for now let's go on to
the second thing you need to focus on to have success with women:

2nd Core Area: YOUR FEAR

Fear is a very powerful, automatic human emotion. Underline automatic. Fear happens on it's
own, and most of the time, we feel we have no control over it.

When you see that extremely hot girl walking down the street, or you see her standing in line
at starbucks, and you think of talking to her - what do you feel?

You feel extreme FEAR and anxiety about doing it.

Naturals, the guys you see out there having all the woman have NOT removed their fear
completely.

No.

A lot of them do feel fear, but have changed their ATTITUDE towards fear.

Instead of using fear as an EXCUSE not do go there and talk to her, they use fear
as a GUIDE to what they SHOULD do.

And most importantly, they've learned how to use that fear to their own advantage and transform
it to pure energy when they're talking with women.

If you want to have success with women, you don't need to get rid of your fear, like most guys
think, you need to change your attitude towards fear, and learn how to use it to your own advantage.

3rd Core Area: YOUR PHILOSOPHY ABOUT WOMEN AND DATING

Philosophy, big word, right?

What I mean by philosophy is how you understand and interpret all this dating stuff and how you
understand women.

It's what you BELIEVE about women, about how women look at men and how women look at dating.

For example, when I talk with naturals, they ALL have their own personal thinking about how women
think and how to deal with them that makes them successful with them.

So for instance, they say stuff like,

"Women like guys. And they like when guys approach them. Just
as we like women, they like us. So when I walk over there, she is all excited"

And also stuff like:

"Women want you to show them who's the boss. They don't want a guy who's going to pussy foot
around them. They want a man who's gonna take control..."

And also stuff like:

"Women want you to be direct. That's the best. If you go to a woman and say "I want to fuck you
so bad tonight", and you say it with confidence, 8 out of 10 women are going to giggle and be Ok
with it. 2 girls are going to pretend they're freaked out, even though they want it bad..."

You see, it's the bundle of BELIEFS you have about women and dating that make up your philosophy.

Most guys who don't have success don't focus on this. Most guys focus on learning the new line
to say or a way of holding down the conversation.

They don't think about their whole outlook on women and dating.

If you want to succeed in dating, you need to develop your own personal philosophy of how women
work and what they want.

4th Core Area: KNOWING WHAT TO DO

At last, we come to the part that everybody focuses on the most - the "How-to". This is the mechanic,
this is the "what do you do when X happens".

I divide the "Knowing What To Do" area into 4 parts:

1. Approaching and starting conversations (what to say exactly, how to say it etc.)
2. Continuing the conversation after you start it (Avoiding brain stuck, not knowing what to say next)
3. Sparking her interest and avoiding the friend zone
4. Asking for the number, asking her out, going out on a date

Here's the biggest secret: In knowing what to do, you don't have to know EVERYTHING.

You just need to know ENOUGH so you're not stuck on what to say and what to do next.

Most guys try to make knowing what to do part as EVERYTHING, and they neglect the first 3 parts.

As you can see, 80% is your inner game with the confidence, fear and philosophy. 20% is your
"How to", the mechanics and stuff.

Now the reason why most guys focus on the mechanic so much is because that's a knee-jerk reaction
to the fear and low self-confidence. When guys see that hot girl and feel that fear, they jump
right in to the "O please tell me what do I SAY to get those kind of women".

As you can see, the path of success is on working on how you feel and think about yourself, your fear
and women. It's what goes on in your head. A small part is about what to do.

In this Thread, I'll be covering all 4 parts and help you succeed in dating.

If you focus on these 4 core elements of success with women and dating, you WILL have success.

I guarantee you.
Author:  ConfidenceMatters [ Wed May 21, 2014 9:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 4 Core Elements Stopping You From Having Success With Wo
This is a decent overview. I do hope you'll spend some time talking about attitude/actions and their direct correlation with one's philosophy about dating and relationships. While discussions on those things are generally reserved for most higher level PUAs/students of charisma, I think it's important for everyone to think about them.
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