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Depression & Steps to get out of it?
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Author:  Hammer-Time [ Sun Dec 30, 2012 2:39 am ]
Post subject:  Depression & Steps to get out of it?
Yup.

I'm depressed.

I hate my life.. Suicidal thoughts (serious).. Serious case of Smiling Depression (which I beleive is worse because instead of letting people know how you feel your hiding it and letting it bottle up).. The works man.. all the sappy stuff you think about when you hear "Depression" is what I got..

You guys probably get or see posts like this everyday and just blow it off because you know its the same thing over and over again..

People pouring out there hearts in a thread with over 1000 characters expecting an in depth answer when all they get in return is a "tl:dr"

Well.. I'm going to be straight forward with you. Ive been on and off about knowing if I had Depression or not (only because I wasnt diagnosed) But I now realized that I do have it.

I've been sad all my life.. well for as long as I can remember. Now, I'm done with being sad. I'm LOOKING for answers, not just asking questions. I don't want to be depressed as it is probably the worst feeling in the world.. from my view point.

Always being sad? No motivation for anything? Seeing only the bad things? I'm tired of all that. I just want to be happy and work on my game for pickup.. but before I can I must get out of this slump

I always heard inner game was the first thing you needed before you could start on pickup.. if this is true, then I'm entering step one. I need some guidance..

How can I overcome this slope of negativity and start to feel good about myself? What do I need to do to make sure my inner game is 110% all the time? I would really appreciate some help in my transformation from an AFC to PUA if someone could give me some insight on knocking this depression.. and starting loving life

Because at this rate.. Idk how far ima go before I take matters into my own hands.. and the thoughts I've been having lately is going to lead me to a dark realm... Please help & thank you!
Author:  EademMutataResurgo [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Depression & Steps to get out of it?
I'm not a psychologist so if you really are that depressed it may be worth speaking to someone with far more knowledge than me but I can give some tips from what I've picked up and whats helped me through rough spots.

First thing to do is learn to meditate. This teaches you how to get a grip on your own mind. Learn to be able to walk around town, talk to people or just exist in an environment without your brain constantly labeling everything. Don't label things as good or bad, don't let your brain judge or try to predict what things or people are like. You want a clear mind that just absorbs all the light and colour and sounds and smells that exist around you. This clarity is a very difficult sensation to describe, it feels like the sensation you get when you look at the stars on a cloudless night or reach the peak of a mountain and are greeted with a stunning view. Your brain shuts the fuck up and absorbs it. Now of course in the day to day world you won't see such amazing things but this mindset will allow you to actually taste life. It's like the difference between stealing a chip from a friend vs having an entire packet of your own. The single one tastes so much better because you actually take the time to savour it. Because you become more aware you may actually feel negative emotions more powerfully but the difference is that you will no longer dwell on them. It's the friction in your head from having a thought or feeling constantly spinning in your head that causes the real emotional pain. Watch you thought and emotions, acknowledge them and let them float off. Don't try to deny or hide them. Just acknowledge and accept and the take action to deal with whatever was causing the problem. Don't hide from your problems.

Look up Tyler Durden's RSD video on meditation and download the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Tolle talks alot of new age bullshit which you have to filter through but at the core his message is seriously seriously on the money

Next would be NLP. There's a lot of info regarding using NLP to influence other people which you can ignore. You want to look at using it for your own inner game. It teaches your brain to label and deal with things in a more positive way which is good for confidence and preventing depression.

Exercise. Go put some trainers on and go for a run. Now. I am serious
Author:  Shadowboxer [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 2:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Depression & Steps to get out of it?
Trust me I've been there. It's very nasty indeed.

But don't worry cause I'm here to help you out. Seriously. SO PAY ATTENTION CAUSE THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Now deppression makes thing look worse than they are. I'm sure you've had good feelings Now and then, that's a first.

Second, In order to get GOOD ANSWERS, you gotta ask yourself GOOD QUESTIONS. If you catch yourself asking "Why am I deppressed? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?" You're gonna get BAD answers. Instead, you can ask yourself the following:

What am I grateful of?
What's not so perfect yet at this moment?
What can I do now to turn things around and put it to my advantage?
What number of things can I do today to enjoy life to the fullest?

Now I want you to think about these questions and take them seriously and If you don't like the answer you got, keep asking until your brain cones up with a good answer.

If you have further questions, by all means measage me. I take your situation very seriously and am more than willing to help.

Peace! :)
Shadowboxer
Author:  puaninja [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Depression & Steps to get out of it?
First we need to know what you are depressed about. That football player who killed himself drove a Bentley, made a million dollars a year, and allegedly beleived his girlfriend was fucking Tre Songz behind his back....so he killed himself. I just found out yesterday about a 19 y/o kid who got busted for weed, then shot himself in the head to apparently escape having to be accountable for pot possession. People sometimes get depressed and suicidal about incredibly irrational things, which is why we can't just assume that you are depressed because you are lonely, broke, etc.

Tell us what you are depressed about, specifically, and I'm sure we'll be able to give you some constructive feedback on improving your life.
Author:  frogdude [ Thu Jan 03, 2013 4:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Depression & Steps to get out of it?
^ ninja is right. I think its very important to realize what is the cause of your depression so you can avoid triggering it.

Now i can't say i'm an expert on depression cause i'm not. Although I have been quite depressed recently and I've been trying to pull myself out of it. How depressed i can't say but i will tell you i cried like a bitch at least 6-7 times last year, so yeah not exactly mild.

What i noticed you wrote is that your hiding your depression. I did that too but that really only intensifies it. I think its best to find someone to talk to and get some of the shit off your chest. It lessens the burden. For me it was my pop (he's an asshole though) he listened to me. Then he built me up pointing out the good in my life. It helped. I also talked to a few strippers, they helped as well a few are actually really nice and don't mind listening to some guy rambling about their problems instead of trying to get into their pants. Besides if you pay for 30 minutes of their time some would rather listen than dance for those 30 minutes. I lost ALOT of money doing this though.

Most important thing imo is that fighting against depression is a WAR not a battle. you won't defeat it in a day or even a year. Day in and out I try to suppress it and stay happy. It's no lie when people say happiness is a choice. You should always be looking for ways, tricks, and techniques to defeat your depression. No rest against it.

You even said you have no motivation for anything. I beginning to believe that is one of the key symptoms to depression. When you are doing something and have a motivation for it - that motivation and you working toward something really gives your depression no time to sink into you. So find some motivation and do something you enjoy. Life is hard and its really only you against your depression. no one can do it for you.

I hope my advice helps. i know everyone's situation is different and not all advice pertains to you. But this is what helps me and i wrote this to also reaffirm myself against my own depression. Good luck to you.
Author:  TheHusky [ Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Depression & Steps to get out of it?
Just a few throughts from a newbie who has just come out of a bad patch myself.

Speak to a doctor and see if you can get counselling.

Find something - just one thing - that you are succeeding or making progress with - and absolutely hammer at it so you there is something you can say "Yes, I ace that". For me it was going to the gym. I actually found myself start to shape up and get the classic male profile and that kept me going when it seemed everything else was wrong. I know two people who have had depression or bi-polar and both are firm believers that hitting the gym lifts their mood and helps them fight it.

Set one challenging but achieveable target, sign up for a run, save up for a more fun car or a holiday and keep it in mind. Set a date or target and chart your progress.

Break your life down into things that are going well and those that are not. How do you move those that are not, to the good zone?

If you have a best platonic female friend or a best bud to open up to without macho limits, then go talk to them. Be completely honest and let it go.

Remember that your depression or dark mood is not you. It is just how you feel. It wasn't there before and it will go away again.

Hope this helps.
Author:  ModelBoy [ Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Depression & Steps to get out of it?
Hey man,

its funny I had the exact same problem about 9 months ago..my post was even more dramatic n I dont think i had ever thought about death that much.. well anyways i was in your position and just to let you know, you WILL get out and the best thing you have done, is realized you are depressed and want out.

Cuz all we want is happyness, life is that simple.

The advice from the other guys s good, you have to write things down, your feelings, as gay as it may sound, it feels great doing so. buy a journal n write once every couple days..

I suggest you download the audio books from David deAngelo "A man that naturally attracts" dont pay too much attention to the tittle, its honestly Great stuff that helped me mature and helped me changed about superficial shit i used to care about. Also I realized my job wasnt the right one from me, i had too much time on my hands and it didnt fullfill me. But just like you say in my whole life i always felt moments of terrible sadness without knowing why.. I went to see this psychologist because i couldnt take it anymore. We did hypnosis, which basically is him talking to you, trying to make you relax, with some music, imagine a setting where you would feel great.. and it helps connecting your unconscious to your conscious mind.. and when I was younger i lost my grandma who possibly was the most important person in my life and yeh.. during the session it came back and i started crying n couldnt stop.

In my case my depression really got big and i guess i was carring this burden all my life n never really had accepted the loss.. So maybe you also had this?

the best thing i can suggest if you can, is take a trip to somewhere really random but where it ll be a complete culture shock n u ll be on your own, its not always easy to save up that amount of money but i promise this experience of travelling by yourself, will make you find out so much about yourself or who you want to be.

I did it, i left to Brasil for 7 months, coming from Belgium, it was quite a change, but I never felt so much alive. so if you v got the money, do it.. if not, try out the programs n try hypnosis with a psychologist.


i hope i didnt talk too much about my personal story but i think you can relate n i hope it can help..


if u need any more help or better one, add me on facebook, honestly dont mind

Gaba Perez
Author:  NLPPUA [ Sun Dec 21, 2014 9:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Depression & Steps to get out of it?
Seriously I would like to know more about using NLP to improve inner game as well as more ways to use it for speed seduction. I think using hypnotic language is great and I would like to hear all about that as well as using it for self improvement. Any thoughts on the subject?
Author:  Style981 [ Sun Dec 21, 2014 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Depression & Steps to get out of it?
Read about pickup. Books, online videos, blogs, articles. IT will give u ur answers
Besides, find some activity to engage ur mind.like hit on gym (personally worked for me), go out wid friends. If u dont have any frnds i suggest just go out alone to some restaurant, club/bar, park.
One of the best ways to reduce it is to go out of ur home (to any place).
Also see motivational videos (i watched vids of Elliot Hulse on youtube n found em useful) and listen to happy songs.
Hope that helps...
Author:  lizardking [ Sun Dec 21, 2014 9:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Depression & Steps to get out of it?
Depression is an illness, ask for help.

The first step is admitting it. Trying to hide it adds shame into the mix which just makes it worse. Trust me, admitting it to people, the right people, is a massive help.

Get help as well. Cognitive behavioural therapy is very effective and works quick, teaches you skills that you can use in the future. CBT for Dummies is a pretty good book for self-help. Long term therapy is important too because whatever made you depressed is going to still be there. There are a lot of charlatans out there, humanistic/person centred counselling is a total rip off. I'd recommend someone more analystical that is going to get to the root, Transactional Analysis is very good.

Depression is usually triggered by an event but it's your programming that makes you react the way you do. You can change the events but unless you change your programming then the same reactions will always be there.

St John's Wort is a pretty good supplement. It feels kind of like having taken a little bit of MDMA and it's there all the time. It's easy to quit as well unlike anti-depressants.

An important thing to remember is that suicidal thoughts are actually quite normal and not that big a worry. The big test, if you know how you're going to do it and when then it has become serious. General suicidal thoughts are just part of depression. Specific thoughts are time to get help.

There is no cure all, there is no overnight solution. It takes a lot of trial and error to find what works. You need to accept a good 3-12 months of work.

My recommendation, get a good therapist, get some good books on depression (The Happiness Trap was recommended by my therapist, only read a little and it's OK), try CBT. Stop alcohol, it's a depressant. Stop caffeine too, the physical effects mimic those of anxiety and it can trigger emotional effects. And get into exercise, train really fucking hard. Spend a lot of time outdoors too, sunlight is great.
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