What it means to be Authentic
What is Dominance?
Imagine yourself walking into a room. You see a beautiful woman standing alone by the bar. You begin to hesitate. Your throat clenches up and you wonder what you should say. What is your opening line. Do you really need one? Do you need an excuse besides you are a man and she is a woman to go up and talk to her? Do you need to think of something 'cool' to say or exciting? Or is taking your hand out and saying "hi, I wanted to meet you" good enough?
Can you comfortably walk across the room, extend your hand and speak to her like she is your little sister? If not, you have a ways to go.
A dominant man is unabashedly authentic. Dominance is not a duality in which one lowers others to raise himself. Dominance transcends that entirely. To be truly dominant, you have to focus on something greater than protecting your ego; Authenticity.
Why the lack of authenticity?
What is the cause of this trend we find in the community? how did it veer so far away from the original goal (which was to allow beautiful women to fall for us).
I believe the emphasis on lines, techniques, tactics and straight up lying (Neil Strauss' famous quote "its not lying, its flirting") comes from a deeply ingrained belief that we simply aren't good enough for women. And I'm not talking about the MM negs, DHVing and raising your value type of good enough. I mean on a deep, fundamental level. To quote Vin Dicarlo (arguably the greatest influence on my development); "A low self-esteem man with cool lines is still a low self-esteem man". Imagine for a second; you're at a bar and you notice her; a stunner. Your perfect 10. Exactly what it is you are looking for. She's standing there bored and waiting for you. You go up and you use your cool pick up techniques and you manage to get a number. Then what? If you are too nervous to call, you arn't authentic. If you are too nervous to touch her on a date, you arn't being authentic. If you think you need to memorize lines, techniques and routines to keep her into you over the course of your relationship, you arn't being authentic. You are not being authentic when you don't believe you are good enough. How long will the deception last?
Why being authentic always works. Always.
Honestly, because its just easier. All the issues I had while first getting into this vanished in a heart beat. I always knew where I stood with the girl because I always behaved in a way that was in line with my intentions. Let's be real here. You don't give a fuck who lies more between men and women. The interesting thing is when I was new to all this, I thought I was the coolest mother fucker in the building when I walked away with 3 or 4 numbers on any given night. They mostly flaked, and they sure as hell werent the quality that I was looking for. It's funny now because I can always see PUAs or Lair guys even if I dont know them. I can just spot the ones who have made a lifestyle out of this. I can smell it off them and when they come to me to "hang out", I know all they really want is to take from me everything I learned and twist it to fit their own bad habits, without actually correcting the habit in the first place. Consider this for a second; Lair guys are NOT your friends. other PUAs are not your friends. You can have friends that are lair guys, or friends that are puas, but a lair guy/pua is not your friend by default. If the only commonality holding up your relationship are the 8 or so hours you spend in a mall scoping out women, you need to reevaluate your friendship.
Being authentic isnt creepy. YOU are creepy. Weather you tell her she is beautiful or asking for the time, YOU are a fucking creep, because you went up there with the intention of spreading her legs. You don't care about who she is, her passions, her fears, her past or who she aspires to be. You only care about the 4 inches of flesh in between her legs. Being authentic is beautiful. Being authentic is a breath of fresh air in a damp room. Walk in with grace, tell her she looks lovely and you want to get to know her, BECAUSE you want to get to know her. Because its real, and true. A good example of being authentic? Ryan Gosling's character in Gangster Squad (spoiler alert) where he is joking around to Emma Stone and telling her he is a Bible salesman when he is in fact a cop. His words are rubbish, his eyes are telling the true story. She asks him if he was hoping to impress her with these lines to which he responds beautifully; "No m'am, I was just hoping to get you into bed". I would've totally banged him.
Sub-communication
I think anyone with even a fraction of experience can attest to the importance of sub-communication in your game. If language is only 8% of a total interaction and you havn't yet understood the importance of sub-communication, wake the fuck up. So it's important? We've settled it. Imagine yourself texting a girl non stop on a friday night, trying to "build rapport" or something. Her answers are short and bland and you're wondering why your amazing lines arnt working on her. Think for a second; It's a friday night and if she's hot and a quality girl, chances are she has a life of her own and is out enjoying herself. Now look at yourself; you centered your life around this, made it a lifestyle and a defining characteristic of your personality. What are you sub-communcating? That you have no life! Nailed it! Congrats, you have linked your accomplishments to your groin. Barn animals have done the same.
So when you spend 8 hours at a mall watching women, or when you go out to a club ONLY to pickup girls, or when your friends ask you to hang with them and you refuse because there wont be women for you to "game", what are you sub-communicating? Let's put it like this; as per the example of the Alpha above. Do you think the Alpha walks around for hours looking for women? You guessed it, no. Because the Alpha has abundance! He doesn't need to go and spend hours looking. He goes about his daily business and invites women to be part of his adventure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s17XDrKuqc4
Pew pew pew! What badasses those pirates! They reek of danger, adventure and passion. I doubt they go out "sarging"
Sarging is fkn weird! You got into this community to become a better man! To live a life of abundance with women. That man you want to be ten years from now, does he walk around hunting every waking moment? In other words, does he need to 'turn on' the game mode? Does a pirate do this? Does an Alpha do this?
Identity and separateness
Where am I getting at?
All the best naturals I know (men who have slept with literally HUNDREDS of beautiful women ranging from playboy models to doctors and powerful women) have one thing in comming: They never change.
I noticed this phenomenon just recently actually. They are exactly the same with their friends as they are with women.
Imagine this; you are talking to a beautiful girl. You spin her, you pull her in close, you are shamelessly flirting with her and then your parents walk up. Do you immediately pull back and put on your business voice "Uhm, it was nice to meet you Janine" and give her your hand? If so, you arn't comfortable with your sexuality. You arnt being authentic.
The point of allllll this community junk is to get you to express yourself in the most eloquent, authentic and beautiful way possible. It's not to discuss cool new openers and tactics, but to get rid of them and transcend that stuff entirely. To stop looking to
create attraction but instead to
be attractive!
Be authentic
Say what you have to say. If you really care about yoga, talk about yoga. If you are passionate about purple elephants, spend hours and hours discussing purple elephants with her. It isn't what you say, it's the energy you give off while saying it. You have to GENUINELY believe you are the greatest man to walk into her life, and that it will work. Is it complicated to get to this point? Absolutely not, its the easiest thing EVER! Is it hard to reach that kind of dominance? absolutely. But is is very attainable. I like a line from Andre 3000 in the song "Green Light". He says at one point "If I were you, it would be me that I'd go home with". Would you go home with you? I would go home with me without hesitating. Can you say the same?
Sadly, most of you will completely ignore everything I said. It won't hit home the way it should and I'm truly sorry for that. You'll continue playing World of Warcraft while reading about "how to blaze your nimbus" or wtv, and then you'll put on your peacock, go out "sarging" and use your awesome new Yoga opener.
For those that did listen though, welcome to your new lives. May they bay legendary.
Mack