The Centered Man Manifesto: Defining Your Identity



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 16 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Inner Game » Beliefs and Confidence Building, Self-Esteem, and General Inner Game




Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 8:16 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
Romance

This might seem like a strange topic to write about. You must be wondering "What's romantic about masculinity?"

A lot

One of the recurring themes I'm coming across in my encounters with men is their lack of surrender to romance. Why did I choose the word surrender instead of another word? Because romance is a part of our deepest masculine core, and through external influences, we learn to curb it, dilute it, or in some cases, completely shut it out. Instead, it is our duty as men to completely let go, and in the greatest show of strength, allow our supreme masculinity to shine. It is the greatest gift we can leave to the world.

Sounding eerily spiritual?

It's on purpose. It sounds a bit cryptic and new-age but it should be fun - and practical! We all have an itch to be romantic at some point in our lives. Be it in our career, with our lover, or in any undertaking really. This isn't socially conditioned romance, and I am in no way encouraging you to buy a bouquet of flowers for your boss as a way of adding romance to your career. I'm talking about intentionally and comfortably adding a degree of beauty into your life that wasn't previously there.

Say what? How?

To quote the movie Hitch; "no woman wakes up saying, 'God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!'".
So before you think you're smooth by asking her what time it is while giving her a seductive look, how about trying something a little different?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usZ6qWbBGpY

Flirt and fall in love

I want my interactions with women to look like that. I want to play the game, have a blast, and fall in love. Just with the moment. For a day, a week, a month, a year or forever. Don't you?

Allow that deep masculine romantic edge shine through your every interaction. Flirt with everyone and everything. Be shameless. Flirting comes easily when you're comfortable with your masculine core and you live a life that is aligned with your values. You dictate the pace of your life and all those around you. What kind of mood are you going to set?

Call your girlfriend right now. Tell her to get ready, you're going on an adventure, and then go dance Bachata in a park, just the two of you. Never danced Bachata in your life? Even better. Take her in your arms, spin her around and celebrate her. Allow her beauty to vibrate. Breathe it in and love it. Recognize it for what it is: femininity is the delicate counterpart of masculinity. The balance is what allows you to complete each other.

But I can never seem to connect with a woman

Go spend time with women! Immerse yourself in women. Start to see them in their radiating beauty; Complex, delicate, confused, scared, angry, loving, sweet, feminine and real. You will never connect with anyone if you see them as a title your mind created. There is no us versus them, there is only us.

Give Yourself Permission

This is probably the most important part of indeed any of our teachings at CMP. Without permission, there can be no action. What does this mean? It means to act on impulse. To be authentic in your interactions with other people and to let things flow rather than try to logically force things into a certain direction. In other words, when you commit to taking action, it does not come from a place of need. It is not supplication to anything or anyone. Quite the opposite. If you do not feel needy, you cannot be needy. Picture it like a glass. Each drop of water is a piece of joy. Picture that glass being so filled that it is overflowing with water. If you fill your life with beauty, romance, and pure detached joy, your glass will overflow and you will want to share that gift with the world.

Like I said, no significant action comes without permission. Allow yourself to act. Give yourself that permission. Free from attachment, free from need, just say yes to your desires and act on them. You will grow as a man each time. Try it! Do something you don’t think you can do. Kiss someone you consider to be ‘out of your league’. You will be surprised by how it enriches your life.

Be curious

"Im curious about you. Tell me everything. I want to know everything!"

Like a child. Be curious about any and everything. Find your inner child and throw yourself head first into that romantic curiosity. You should feel that burning desire to get to the bottom of things deep inside of you, free from past, future and self-gratification. Only the energy between you and your desire should be focused on. Michelangelo is a prime example of that. He left his romantic gift to the world and committed himself to excellence, the result of which, the Sistine Chapel, is still marveled at hundreds of years later.

Go out there

"It is the essence of charm to make any woman feel beautiful in his presence" - Zan Perrion

Get out! Now! Walk down the street and appreciate. Appreciate the beauty of the sun rising above the skyscrapers of your city. Look around and see how beautiful everyone is in their complexity. When was the last time your aging, divorced and lonely aunt had a man buy her flowers? When was the last time you took your mother out for a massage "just because"? When was the last time someone leaned over the receptionists desk and asked to know how her day was going? Go sit in a park and turn off your ipod, phone and whatever other gadget and just listen the birds sing. Breathe it in and smile about how good it is to be alive.

You will radiate joy and people will ask you if you've fallen in love... To which you can comfortably respond "I have... With life".

Love and lots of it
Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 12:56 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
"Hi Mack,

I've read through your quality post: The Centered Man Manifesto: Defining Your Identity. I really understand what you mean by that I should act on instinct rather than planned and incongruent self when approaching women. It just didn't feel right when I tried to be someone I was not.

But when you said I should act on my own desire, I don't think I fully understood what you meant. When I see a girl I that I think is super hot, and I approach and tell her what is on my mind, wouldn't she be creeped out? If I want to tell her "Hi, I thought that I should talk to you because you appeared as an angel in my dream! Are you as lovely as the angel in my dream?" what the hell is she going to think? (I've seen a beautiful girl in my dream and that girl goes to my college). This kind of approach rarely happens, I understand, because it is not normal. Only an unusual man would say such things to a woman, and she might have the immediate instinct to label me as a "creep."

I've thought that making a woman love you is adjust your emotions to hers. Never too more or too little than what she is feeling. Going out of those bounds would make her uncomfortable. Too much, then you are needy. Too little, and the relationship gets cold."


Hey man, good questions you posted there!

About acting on your desire. Understand: the words you use are irrelevant. Your question about the dream thing... ehh. I would advise against it for now. You just dont have the firmness of mind to go through with that.. and thats okay. There are days when I dont have it either and I flop HARD. Its fine! Its all about practice

Focus on the energy, rather than the word. In others words, that girl in your dream, you find her attractive obviously. Now instead of telling her about your dream, make it simple. Clear your mind and just blurt. "God you are stunning! Who are you?" Is a good start. Its much more to the point than your story about the dream. If you're feeling really hardcore, you can just not use words at all. Go up to her, hold out your hand, look her right in the eye. Let her take your hand and pull her in close to you and smile. Not like a creepy fuck. I mean smile like a man smiles a at a woman. then let her go. You communicate SO much more with touch than with words.

An example of being authentic was the other night when I was at a friend's bday dinner at one of the fanciest clubs in my city. I don't drink, and I was too late for dinner, so I was just sitting enjoying the time. The waitress of our table, a stunning blonde girl, walks up to me and in a shit testing way asks me what Im doing here. One thing you need to understand is, I ALWAYS touch a girl. So by this point I was holding her hand already. In fact when I shook it to introduce myself, I simply never let go of her hand. I know she wants me because she didnt let go either. I pull her in close, look her in the eye and tell her "I was actually waiting for you to finish your shift, so I can take you into the bathroom and have my way with you". Yep. Super straight face, no jokes. I was 100% comfortable. If I had 99% belief, the 1% disbelief wouldve ruined it and she wouldve thought I was a creep. She smiled nervously and said she gets off at 5. I told her Im not waiting. She said "take my number then".

Understand? Its more of an exchange in energy. Once you start vibing with emotions and energy rather than words, your interaction gain a degree of freedom, cause you realize that the words oyu say dont matter. I say stupid shit all the time and it doesnt matter.

As for your second comment, I disagree entirely. The whole point is to let her experience YOU. Don't adjust your emotions to her, let your energy overpower her entirely. Let her get sucked up into your world. The relationship wont get cold if you dont get cold, and you wont seem needy if you arnt actually needy. Those are traits you should work on.

"I hope I get to your level of communication some day. Are there exercises you have done to get to that point?"


Yah man, its easy stuff. Every day be mindful of your thoughts. When interacting with people, ask yourself "is this really what I want to convey?" Even with your friends. I often catch my friends teasing someone about something like a guilty pleasure, and Im often tempted to joke too, even though secretly I would agree with the one being made fun of. I catch those thoughts and willingly go "no. Thats not honest. Thats not me". And I express myself properly. Same way with a girl. Little by little you have to train yourself to be honest with her. Step by step, start to catch the way you feel inside and attach words to it. It could start as simple as "Im kinda nervous, I ran out of things to say. You say something" and go as far as "I want you. Be mine".

Love and lots of it
Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 8:21 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 3:57 am
Posts: 45
Just wanted to say that I love your stuff and read this entire thread in one sitting. It really goes over a lot of things I've been struggling with lately, especially the ego.

Keep it up, man.

_________________
"Real Niggaz do what they want, Bitch Niggaz do what they can do." -2pac


Top
   
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:00 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
"Hey Mack!

Somehow i got onto your posts about honesty . .
Btw love your posts! Only just found them and i like what i read a lot

Ive had problems with my gf's sexual past . . e.g. like how many sexual partners she's had ( Much more than me btw! ) and i have stuff run though my head of her shagging theses guys etc how, when, what they did, everything! and back to honesty . . i posted some stuff awhile ago and most guys told me to LIE when asked how many I've slept with . . Reading your posts, what do you think? Would it lower DHV? or what?

Cheers mate,"




Drop the double standard

I'm quite shocked at how many people (especially in this seduction/self-development community) still keep these strange double standards at this day and age.

To be honest, I used to have the same problem a long time ago. I remember my heart literally breaking when I heard about a girl I like that used to have all kinds of sex with her boyfriend. The thought of the two together made me want to vomit.

The reality is that this kind of behavior comes from a misplaced sense of entitlement over a certain girl. Its the same sense of entitlement that gets you mad when you were talking to a girl at a bar and you see her all over some other guy later on, or when you get all angry that she doesn't return a phone call. (perhaps the subject of another post?)

Get rid of it.

Seriously. It is detrimental to your growth as a man. Why?

Think about it. Is she YOUR girl? Yes. She chose to be with you out of all the other men. The reality here is that you need to feel jealous and if you can't find something to be jealous about in the present, you're gonna search for it in the past, or even worse, the future ("Baby, you'll always love me...right?").

Why do you feel possessive over your girl? And why should her sexual past affect the now of your relationship? Her sexual history should mean absolutely nothing to you. Nothing at all. But what if such and such? Ok, if she is eager to have you inside her without a condom, it should ring a few alarms... but besides that? Who cares dude.

You yourself undoubtedly have your fantasies that may involve a variety of women, midgets, fire dancers, hot tubs and God knows what else. If presented the opportunity, you would jump on the occasion. Would you judge her for doing the same? If yes, you need to rethink what you're doing here, because denying a woman her right to sexuality is a really big problem. I'm honestly shocked at how many guys think it's cool to judge a woman based on her sexual past. I'm even more disgusted at men who have the intention of seducing a woman, and then lose respect for her for being seduced. That's some serious psychopathic behavior.

Let's talk about trust

"Honestly, you just have something so... sexy about you... and I can't figure it out"

A girlfriend of mine sent me that recently. I asked her to elaborate and she said "I can just be sexy around you and you love it. I just trust you".

What does it mean when she says she trusts you?

There's two different types of trust. There's superficial trust, like "I'm not going to cheat on you" trust.

And then there's real trust. There's the trust she really needs. One that most men ignore (which coincidentally is crucial if they want to have that porn-star sex they've always wanted).

If she feels you can't handle your own desires, emotions and masculinity, she will never trust you to handle her desires, emotions, sexuality and femininity. She will test you, because a man is hard to find. She will throw things your way like "Can you believe Sarah had sex with that guy she just met?" and you answer "Yeah baby, I cant believe that, what a slut". Nice work. Now she knows to make you wait or you will judge her. She will listen to how you brag about your sexual exploits to your friends, how you judge other girls in front of her, how you are shocked at the slightest mention of sexuality on her part. She notices all of these things and makes a mental note of them. "He can't handle me" she says, and so she doesnt trust you.

Trust is the greatest gift she can give you

It's her way of submitting to you. It is her way of recognizing that you are the man she needs in her life. She trusts you will protect her because you didn't break when she threw tests at you, stoic and strong. She trusts that you will not judge her, because when she made judgmental remarks about her girlfriend, you put her in her place for it. She trusts that you are a man, because you were too busy with your passions to fall in love with her in a day like every other chump who bent over backwards for her. She surrenders to you because she now knows you are man enough to handle her.

Be a man

Accept her for who she is. Allow her to be who she truly is around you and you will find a real relationship rather than a superficial one. Allow her to express her sexuality, she's doing it for you! Or would you rather a girl who isn't comfortable in her own sexuality and just lies there passively? Relationships are about growing together. Learn new things, try something out of the ordinary, don't judge her for it! How do you expect her to be herself around you if you judge her for it?
And who cares if she's been with more men than you have been with women? Value comes from within. You are born with it. If you grasp your potential and grow as a man, you won't lose value to anyone. Let alone over something as stupid as the notches on your belt...

Hope this helps
Love and lots of it
Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:57 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
Game - the incredible Onion

I was out slutting around with Cliff and OliverKing at Koko lounge. The venue was kind of empty and so I was talking to the staff for fun, running back and forth between a bachelor party and a bachelorette party across the room because, hey - why not? It was then that I saw her.

She was standing by the bar with her girlfriend. Her tight black dress revealed a multitude of curves I was eager to explore. Her blonde hair, blue eyes and stunning smile made my heart melt. I truly am a lover of women and blondes, unfortunately, are my greatest weakness.

I walk up to her with my usual I-own-the-world-smile, put my hand out and tell her I want to meet her. She looks at me and asks why? I look her in the eye and say “Because from the moment I saw you, I couldn’t take my eyes off you”.

Social interactions are like an onion

Those who are truly masters of their craft recognize this. There are a multitude of layers that need to be shed before a true connection can occur. Most people picture the process of a pickup as a type of race. You start at zero and work your way up from there. In fact, it is the opposite. You start at a specific point, and slowly shed away layers until you reach a connection.

She looks at me

...and reacts a little coldly. She brushes me off and slightly turns her back to me, but not completely. It’s moments like these that I live for. I ask her why she’s being shy, and she tells me she has a boyfriend. I tell her he’s boring and she shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss people, then turn to her friend and introduce myself. We begin to speak spanish and my blondy is listening attentively. I turn back to her and snap a couple teases her way. She turns towards me a little more. This is all part of the game, this is all a dance. It takes two to tango.

The Onion

You begin with a projected image. She is that hot but bitchy girl at the bar, you are that guy in the suit several size too big. You exchange names and converse. Slowly, those projected identities begin to disintegrate and she then becomes the nurse at the hospital not too far from your place, and you are now the funny yet charming business student. More layers shed and she is now that dorky girl who has a passion for photography yet sucks at it, and you are the guy that wanted to be a rock star but can’t play the guitar to save his life. A couple drinks later and you’re sitting down together on that couch in the corner of the lounge and she is now a person, sweet, caring, vulnerable and shy. You are a man, attractive, assertive and strong.

I keep talking

But this time, I direct a question or two at the blonde and she begins to answer them with more and more enthusiasm. She starts to ask me questions, throw teases my way and punching my arm playfully. The three of us were having a really great time together. Her friend turns to get a drink and the blonde comes up close to me and says “I’ve never met anyone so... unafraid... dominant... assertive. Most guys would’ve just left”. I nod in an understanding way and tell her that I am not like most men. I don’t have time for bullshit. We talked a little bit more and found out that she is an amazing person. I had to go and she grabbed my arm and said “I cant give you my number, but put yours in my friend’s phone and I’ll call you if anything comes up”.

Allow her to unravel

Most guys don’t understand that. They don’t see the dance, they only see adversity. They don’t see the beauty in the interactions, only the value they are trying to take from her. So when they hit a wall, they turn tail and run. A man recognizes the illusion and plays his part in the dance.

You take her hand

...and walk away from the couch together. You head into a taxi and go straight to your place. You are no longer students, nurses, artists or musicians. You connected on a primal level. Nothing else exists as the animals in both of you finally reared their heads and there is nothing left to peel away. There is just you, and her. The real you. The real her. Bliss.

Love and lots of it

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 2:59 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
“better indeed is knowledge than mechanical practice.
Better than knowledge is meditation.
But better still is surrender of attachment to results, for there follows immediate peace”. - Bhagavad Gita


Renounce and Rejoice!

There is absolutely no greater joy than a complete sense of surrender. I was watching the scene in Fight Club where the protagonist and Tyler Durden are fighting over the control of a car speeding down a road and Tyler keeps yelling to “just let go!”. It really got me thinking. Not to ruin the book or movie, but the protagonist does eventually let go and the car ends up crashing into a ditch. Still wanna let go?

Although renunciation has been a major theme I have written about on multiple occasions, I decided to explore it and dedicate an article to this often misunderstood eastern-imported concept.

”Seek refuge in the attitude of detachment and you will amass the wealth of spiritual awareness. Those who are motivated only by the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do. When consciousness is unified however, all vain anxiety is left behind”. – Bhagavad Gita

All life is chaos. We are thrust into a world we do not understand and we leave it even more confused than when we came in. We chase after external objects that we think will make us happier and they don’t, so we chase something bigger. We don’t seem to understand that the smell and feel of a new car wears off quickly…

“When you keep thinking about sense objects, attachment comes. Attachment breeds desire, the lust of possession that burns to anger. Anger clouds judgment. Lost is the ability to learn from past mistakes”. – Bhagavad Gita

There is, however, an underlying order to this chaos. We do not see it at first, but the universe works in such an extraordinary way, to the point where the beating of a butterflies’ wings causes typhoons half way across the world. The universe is so powerful that the moon causes water levels to rise or recede, and winters can effect our emotions. Take a minute to let that sink in. Now keep reading… this post is not about nature, or some strange esoteric new-age idea. This post is about one of the most important aspects of masculinity: Self-worth.

“But those who realize the self are always satisfied. Having found the source of joy and fulfillment they no longer seek happiness form the external world. They have nothing to gain or lose by any action; neither people nor things can affect their security”. – Bhagavad Gita

One of the most amazing men I have ever encountered is Zan Perrion, a Canadian author and renowned womanizer in the same tradition as Don Juan and Casanova. We were discussing life, love and romance when he said something that I can never forget. He looked up from his chair and said “Renunciation is the key. There can never be any depth in anything without renunciation”.

I know what you’re thinking

Renunciation must be the opposite of depth. How can you commit if you renounce? Zan is quite an interesting fellow. He sold all of his material possessions, does not own a phone, and gave the rest of his belongings to his beloved daughter. He then committed himself to his passions and left to travel the world. You see, when you renounce attachment, you begin to experience things more fully than while you are attached. There is no truer love than unconditional love.

Do I have to sell my things and be a monk?

Absolutely not. Just stop caring about them. As an exercise, turn your phone off. Get off Facebook, unplug your Ipod and stop reading your emails. Just for one day, close the door to your room and just sit there. If you cannot be alone with yourself and actually enjoy the experience, you do not love yourself the way you should.

It is astounding to me to what extent we have been programmed to draw our self-worth from material goods and external circumstances. No, this is not a tirade against materialism. If you want that new car, work your ass off and get it. If you want to live a simple life, take that first scary step towards a simpler life. All that matters is that your self-worth is not attached to the outcome of your actions. As a wise man once said, “I am motivated by achievement, not by pride”.

How do I renounce?

It all began as a conscious decision. It came to the point where I could not be happy unless I was getting some kind of attention. I figured that if I was getting attention from women, I must be an attractive and interesting person. It came to the point where I could not be happy unless I had the best new suit, the best new pair of shoes (I was at pair number 12 and was looking forward to number 13). I was so wrong…

My first step was to willingly unplug myself. Instead of needing, I decided to give. Instead of manipulating, I began to invite. Instead of planning, I began to flow. I had unknowingly embarked upon the most extraordinary summer of my life.

Surrender

As men, it’s frightening to lose control. But once you surrender, once you renounce, you begin to experience something amazing: joy. Most people confuse joy and happiness. They are not synonymous. In western culture, happiness is an elusive concept. A type of construct that has a time limit attached to it. We embark upon a ‘pursuit of happiness’ and hope to reach it in a given amount of time (Ever heard yourself say “When I get this, I will be happy”, or “when this happens, I will be happy”?). Happiness is now tied to an external source but we forget one crucial issue: What can be given, can be taken away. Why would you put your well-being in the hands of others? Why would your self-worth be attached to something fleeting and impermanent? Here is where joy comes in. Joy is the highest emotion, because it is tied to nothing external. We are born joyful. Don’t mistake a baby’s crying as unhappiness. A child is the happiest thing on earth because it is the freest. It’s self-worth in no way comes from attachment to external sources. Give it an object then take it away. Let the baby cry for a few minutes and then watch him be curious, distracted, happy and excited by even the smallest speck of dust on the ground.

So why surrender? Because with the simple act of surrender, you take an immeasurable step towards empowerment. The act of surrender, although scary at first, will give you a greater amount of self-control than rigidly clinging to a false set of values and external objects. Understand that only when you are free, you can act the way you are meant to act.

Act

This is immeasurably important. Act, but not as a man attached. Act as a man established within himself. Behave in the way you were meant to. Being born a male does not automatically earn you the title of man. A man acts in line with his nature and values, but with a complete sense of detachment. Your self-worth is not attached to the outcome of your actions. Win or lose, you are still you.

In practical terms: hit the gym because you have to stay healthy – not because you want a pat on the back for those abs. And yes, women will still love you with a pot belly. Get that promotion because ambition is what makes us men – weather you get it or not is irrelevant, it’s the fact that you are actively shooting higher and higher. See what I’m getting at here?

Your self-worth comes from within. If you make the active decision that from now on, you are attractive to all women, you will be. If you make the decision that form now on, you will do whatever it takes to get in shape, you will. If you decide that you will devote yourself to excelling in your line of work, you will. If a woman turns away from you, it does not make you unattractive. If losing that gut takes a little more time than expected, so be it. The important part is that your actions are fueled by a desire to grow as a man, and not for results.

The Journey is the destination

Go ahead! Renounce!

Go and talk to that cute girl that gets coffee at the same place every morning. Don’t plan what you will say, don’t think about how she will react. Let go and just walk up to her. Tell her you want to see her again and give her your number. You are a man, she is a woman. That is all you need. If she likes you she’ll call. Who cares what happens? Try living without control. Flow naturally. Turn your damned phone off and start paying attention to people. Don’t plan meetings and events, tell people where you will be and invite them to come along. Weather they show up or not is irrelevant, you are going on your adventure anyway. Who cares if you are late to that party? Who cares if you missed that important phone call? You are discovering you! You are busy enriching your character. Oh and that girl from the coffee shop? She wondered why you haven’t called her yet and so she finally called to ask you to come out with her and her girlfriends.

Trust

“One who conquers himself is greater than another who conquers a thousand times a thousand men on the battlefield. Be victorious over yourself and not over others. When you attain victory over yourself, not even the gods can turn it into defeat”. – Dhammapada

Trust in yourself. Most of the time you fail because you do not trust in yourself. You do not trust that you are charming, so you force people to stay around you. You do not trust that you are attractive, so you crowd the one who shows the slightest bit of interest in you. You do not trust you deserve the best, so you settle for that low-paying position. Most importantly, trust that things will work out the way they should. If she likes you, she’ll call. If you are interesting to be around, interesting people will surround you! Imagine a life where everything just flows naturally. You no longer need to worry about outcomes. You act because you should, you trust in yourself because you just know that you are the best you can possibly be.

Go ahead. Set yourself free.

Love and lots of it
Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:47 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
Be a man...of Purpose

I was sitting around at home the other day and was thinking about a girl I had met earlier that week. As is customary, I took out my phone and began scrolling through my contacts looking for someone interesting to talk to, unless I came upon her number first, in which case I would text her. As my contacts droned on, a thought came to me and I abruptly stopped myself, turned my phone off and put it away.

Purpose or neediness?

What I am about to explain is going to clash with certain things we spoke about earlier, namely, being free of motives when you interact with the world. I'm talking about something entirely different here. I'm talking about purpose. You can be free of outcome and still have a purpose. You cannot have a purpose and be free of outcome. In other words, your complete independence (see Renounce and Rejoice) must first be firmly established for you to act with purpose, while to act with purpose but being attached to an outcome will only make your actions contrived and inauthentic.

In English please?

Have you ever been talking to a beautiful young lady you accidentally bumped into at a social event, and the more you talk to her the more you want to kiss her? It just naturally happens. It's what we call chemistry or a spark. Now picture this; you see a woman and you tell yourself you are going to try to kiss her. You walk up to her and are so nervous while talking to her that she begins to feel uneasy. You clumsily try to move in closer to fulfill your desired outcome, and like two opposing magnets, she slips back. Exactly.

What does it mean to act with purpose?

I see the same patterns over and over with men nowadays. Their actions are contrived and they are half asleep as they perform them. They lack purpose.

Some examples of lack of purpose are:

-"I'm bored so I'll text her". Why? What is the purpose of texting her? What is the intention behind it? Is she filling a void? Are you using her to un-bore you? Then turn your phone off and go do something interesting and come back in an hour and say hi. Tell her you thought of her, and then get back to doing whatever. It took me a while to understand this. Random back and forth texting for hours was nothing more than mental masturbation. Connections through technology are not real. Perhaps the subject of another post but face to face is ALWAYS better than phone, and phone is ALWAYS better than a text. Have a purpose. If you want to call to shoot the shit and see how she is, do it. If you want to text to invite her out, do it. Have a purpose. I see too many men make the same mistake over and over and then they wonder why their numbers flake.

-The useless hand on shoulder. This one is just sad. We are constantly told to touch, and touch often. As a result, I see guys walking around and touching women with absolutely no purpose whatsoever. Like they have a check mark in their head "Put arm on shoulder, check!". Image
Why are you touching her? Is touching her shoulder going to lead to sex? Do you want to be her friend? Then shake her hand. If you want to have sex with her, pull her in close and put your arms around her. Act with purpose! Your actions should reflect your intentions.

-walking around for hours looking for women to pick up. Seriously. Just stop. Nothing says creepy like a couple guys just walking around looking for women. I know what you're thinking "boys will be boys" right? Talk to me when you're ready to be a man, not a boy. A man doesn't have time to walk around looking for women. Walk with purpose. You have somewhere you have to be. Who is to stop you from chatting up that lovely woman that crossed your path. "I'd love to stay and chat but I have to run, give me you're number and I'll call you this week". Congrats, there's a new lovely lady that's excited to see you.

Think

Seduction is an art, and to be an artist you sure as hell need to be smart. If you are even a little bit critical you will probably be asking yourself "well that's great, but why should I do any of that?". Glad you asked! You see, most men don't take the time to stop and think. 8% of communication is verbal, the rest is non-verbal. That leaves a huge window open for sub-communication. I have bad news for you mate... No matter how many cocky lines you can come up with, your sub-communication never lies. Think! By behaving the way you do, what are you sub-communicating? Its time to stop acting busy and to be busy. Its time to stop acting like you have women in your life and start allowing women into your life. By touching her in an awkward place just because you think you have to, you are sub-communicating that you don't value her as a person, but instead see her as an algorithm. Touch here + say this = parted legs. WRONG. By texting her because you're bored, you are sub-communicating that your time is not valuable. If she is a quality girl, her time sure as hell is valuable, so don't expect her to entertain you for long. Last but not least, if you don't value your own time, how could she value yours?

Purpose is attractive!

Women LOVE a man of purpose. Every action leads to an outcome. Every word hits home. What woman doesn't want a man who has no time to waste with games? What woman is not interested in a man who is forever growing and changing. What woman has no eye for a man who is entirely absorbed in his journey, finding new and better ways to enrich his life and the people around him. When that man takes a break from his adventure and drops her a line, she gets excited that he thought of her at all! Countless men ask me how to flip the script... this is it boys.

Be a man... of purpose!

This may seem complicated but I assure you it is much easier. This freedom translates into every aspect of your life. It simplifies your life a great deal because you are now able to prioritize. You no longer follow rules, you set trends. Try it! Next girl you meet, don't text her in two days because of the out-dated, predictable '2-day rule'. Call her when you're out with your friends and she popped in your head and you feel like seeing her.

Love and lots of it
Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:44 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
What it Means to be Centered Within Yourself

“You have a right to work, but never to the fruit of work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction. Perform work in this world as a man established within himself – without selfish attachments, and alike in success and defeat”. – Bhagavad Gita

As men, we are constantly faced with adversity. Certainly no man of worth can ever say that he became the way he is by cruising through life. Indeed, our characters are inexorably shaped by the way we react to the challenges scattered throughout our journey. So what? Will you stand up and face the challenges head on, or will you bend over and leave it to greater men than you? Even if you chose to face these challenges, how would you go about doing it? How can you act with knowledge and full belief in yourself?

You are okay as you are, right now

Confidence is rooted in Self-acceptance. This is a point that cannot be avoided. The root of every external problem begins within. No one can fully explore your potential unless you fully explore your potential. No one can truly love you unless you truly love yourself. No one knows what you are capable of until you know what you are capable of. Although this advice seems redundant and self-helpy, it really is crucial. How can you know yourself if you don’t love yourself? Once you begin to wholly accept and love yourself the way you are, you break free from other’s expectations and begin to draw self-worth from within.

Embrace your masculine core

This one is a little bit more difficult to internalize. I’ll cut straight to it; Own your gender. Be ok with being a man. Do not vacillate from your duties out of fear. You are being a man when your friends are indecisive about where to go tonight and you make the decision. You are being a man when you express yourself about the things you enjoy, no matter how embarrassed you might feel. You are being a man when you see a woman you are attracted to and you walk over and introduce yourself. You are being a man when you allow your woman to unleash her rage and passions and anger while you stand firm, like a rock in the storm. Do not fight your biology. Accept your masculine and act from it. Every action should come from within and be an expression of your masculinity. When you are speaking to that beautiful woman, you arn’t doing it so your friends could see you do it, you are doing it because you are a man and as a man, it is your job to go after what you want. When you are admiring her dress and telling her how good she looks in it, you arn’t doing so because you think it will help spread her legs. You are doing so because as a man, it is your duty to notice and celebrate the things you love about women.

Why? Simply… because!

“But those who realize the Self are always satisfied. Having found the source of joy and fulfillment, they no longer seek happiness from the external world. They have nothing to gain or lose by any action; neither people nor things can affect their security”. – Bhagavad Gita

When presented with a challenge, why should you face it head on? Simply because. As a man, each challenge, win or lose, enriches your character. Remember your duties as a man and act. It doesn’t matter if that woman who caught your eye is surrounded by a million people or is standing all alone. You are a man, she is a woman, walk on over there! Imagine that, you’re now talking to a complete stranger and letting her experience your unique self. Who would’ve thought? She’s enjoying the conversation but raises her eyebrow and asks “Are you flirting with me?” to which you confidently respond “You’re absolutely stunning… of course I’m flirting with you!”. You threw yourself in there because it is your duty to make your presence felt.

Un-stifle yourself

Do it, and as soon as possible at that. When faced with adversity, ask yourself questions like; “how would a man behave?”, and more importantly “is this course of action truly in line with my values?” in other words; how would you behave if nothing else existed. If there was nothing holding you back, if you had no one staring and judging you, if there were no negative consequences, what would you do?

How do I apply this?

‎”Of all the weaknesses of men, doubt is the true enemy” – Crassus

Speak, act and behave the way you truly want to. Independent, free, strong. Say what you have to say, not to prove a point, but because to express yourself from your core is the height of masculinity. Go over there and flirt with her, because your hesitation is depriving her of a good man! Go out there and chase your dream. Refuse mediocrity, not out of pride but out of sense of duty. Fear nothing, let go of your safety nets and plunge head first into the deep just to see what’s there… It is what you were born to do!

Love and lots of it
Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 5:06 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
What it means to be Authentic

What is Dominance?

Imagine yourself walking into a room. You see a beautiful woman standing alone by the bar. You begin to hesitate. Your throat clenches up and you wonder what you should say. What is your opening line. Do you really need one? Do you need an excuse besides you are a man and she is a woman to go up and talk to her? Do you need to think of something 'cool' to say or exciting? Or is taking your hand out and saying "hi, I wanted to meet you" good enough?

Can you comfortably walk across the room, extend your hand and speak to her like she is your little sister? If not, you have a ways to go.

A dominant man is unabashedly authentic. Dominance is not a duality in which one lowers others to raise himself. Dominance transcends that entirely. To be truly dominant, you have to focus on something greater than protecting your ego; Authenticity.

Why the lack of authenticity?

What is the cause of this trend we find in the community? how did it veer so far away from the original goal (which was to allow beautiful women to fall for us).

I believe the emphasis on lines, techniques, tactics and straight up lying (Neil Strauss' famous quote "its not lying, its flirting") comes from a deeply ingrained belief that we simply aren't good enough for women. And I'm not talking about the MM negs, DHVing and raising your value type of good enough. I mean on a deep, fundamental level. To quote Vin Dicarlo (arguably the greatest influence on my development); "A low self-esteem man with cool lines is still a low self-esteem man". Imagine for a second; you're at a bar and you notice her; a stunner. Your perfect 10. Exactly what it is you are looking for. She's standing there bored and waiting for you. You go up and you use your cool pick up techniques and you manage to get a number. Then what? If you are too nervous to call, you arn't authentic. If you are too nervous to touch her on a date, you arn't being authentic. If you think you need to memorize lines, techniques and routines to keep her into you over the course of your relationship, you arn't being authentic. You are not being authentic when you don't believe you are good enough. How long will the deception last?

Why being authentic always works. Always.

Honestly, because its just easier. All the issues I had while first getting into this vanished in a heart beat. I always knew where I stood with the girl because I always behaved in a way that was in line with my intentions. Let's be real here. You don't give a fuck who lies more between men and women. The interesting thing is when I was new to all this, I thought I was the coolest mother fucker in the building when I walked away with 3 or 4 numbers on any given night. They mostly flaked, and they sure as hell werent the quality that I was looking for. It's funny now because I can always see PUAs or Lair guys even if I dont know them. I can just spot the ones who have made a lifestyle out of this. I can smell it off them and when they come to me to "hang out", I know all they really want is to take from me everything I learned and twist it to fit their own bad habits, without actually correcting the habit in the first place. Consider this for a second; Lair guys are NOT your friends. other PUAs are not your friends. You can have friends that are lair guys, or friends that are puas, but a lair guy/pua is not your friend by default. If the only commonality holding up your relationship are the 8 or so hours you spend in a mall scoping out women, you need to reevaluate your friendship.

Being authentic isnt creepy. YOU are creepy. Weather you tell her she is beautiful or asking for the time, YOU are a fucking creep, because you went up there with the intention of spreading her legs. You don't care about who she is, her passions, her fears, her past or who she aspires to be. You only care about the 4 inches of flesh in between her legs. Being authentic is beautiful. Being authentic is a breath of fresh air in a damp room. Walk in with grace, tell her she looks lovely and you want to get to know her, BECAUSE you want to get to know her. Because its real, and true. A good example of being authentic? Ryan Gosling's character in Gangster Squad (spoiler alert) where he is joking around to Emma Stone and telling her he is a Bible salesman when he is in fact a cop. His words are rubbish, his eyes are telling the true story. She asks him if he was hoping to impress her with these lines to which he responds beautifully; "No m'am, I was just hoping to get you into bed". I would've totally banged him.

Sub-communication

I think anyone with even a fraction of experience can attest to the importance of sub-communication in your game. If language is only 8% of a total interaction and you havn't yet understood the importance of sub-communication, wake the fuck up. So it's important? We've settled it. Imagine yourself texting a girl non stop on a friday night, trying to "build rapport" or something. Her answers are short and bland and you're wondering why your amazing lines arnt working on her. Think for a second; It's a friday night and if she's hot and a quality girl, chances are she has a life of her own and is out enjoying herself. Now look at yourself; you centered your life around this, made it a lifestyle and a defining characteristic of your personality. What are you sub-communcating? That you have no life! Nailed it! Congrats, you have linked your accomplishments to your groin. Barn animals have done the same.

So when you spend 8 hours at a mall watching women, or when you go out to a club ONLY to pickup girls, or when your friends ask you to hang with them and you refuse because there wont be women for you to "game", what are you sub-communicating? Let's put it like this; as per the example of the Alpha above. Do you think the Alpha walks around for hours looking for women? You guessed it, no. Because the Alpha has abundance! He doesn't need to go and spend hours looking. He goes about his daily business and invites women to be part of his adventure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s17XDrKuqc4

Pew pew pew! What badasses those pirates! They reek of danger, adventure and passion. I doubt they go out "sarging"
Sarging is fkn weird! You got into this community to become a better man! To live a life of abundance with women. That man you want to be ten years from now, does he walk around hunting every waking moment? In other words, does he need to 'turn on' the game mode? Does a pirate do this? Does an Alpha do this?

Identity and separateness

Where am I getting at?
All the best naturals I know (men who have slept with literally HUNDREDS of beautiful women ranging from playboy models to doctors and powerful women) have one thing in comming: They never change.
I noticed this phenomenon just recently actually. They are exactly the same with their friends as they are with women.
Imagine this; you are talking to a beautiful girl. You spin her, you pull her in close, you are shamelessly flirting with her and then your parents walk up. Do you immediately pull back and put on your business voice "Uhm, it was nice to meet you Janine" and give her your hand? If so, you arn't comfortable with your sexuality. You arnt being authentic.
The point of allllll this community junk is to get you to express yourself in the most eloquent, authentic and beautiful way possible. It's not to discuss cool new openers and tactics, but to get rid of them and transcend that stuff entirely. To stop looking to create attraction but instead to be attractive!

Be authentic

Say what you have to say. If you really care about yoga, talk about yoga. If you are passionate about purple elephants, spend hours and hours discussing purple elephants with her. It isn't what you say, it's the energy you give off while saying it. You have to GENUINELY believe you are the greatest man to walk into her life, and that it will work. Is it complicated to get to this point? Absolutely not, its the easiest thing EVER! Is it hard to reach that kind of dominance? absolutely. But is is very attainable. I like a line from Andre 3000 in the song "Green Light". He says at one point "If I were you, it would be me that I'd go home with". Would you go home with you? I would go home with me without hesitating. Can you say the same?

Sadly, most of you will completely ignore everything I said. It won't hit home the way it should and I'm truly sorry for that. You'll continue playing World of Warcraft while reading about "how to blaze your nimbus" or wtv, and then you'll put on your peacock, go out "sarging" and use your awesome new Yoga opener.

For those that did listen though, welcome to your new lives. May they bay legendary.

Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 12:07 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
As I began to put more and more work into the Centered Man Project, I decided to share my thoughts, beliefs and articles with the women in my life. I began to share and discuss how I viewed the world, how I saw male to female interactions and the way I believed attraction and seduction worked. I mean, why not? This project is FOR women. Be under no illusions about that. You ever hear women complain that there are no more good men in the world? We are here to bring back the good man. We are here to bring back the romantic mysterious adventurer gentleman pirate! We are here to remind the world of the beauty of life and invite women to be a part of our adventure – no matter how short or long it might be. After much talk with these lovely creatures, I decided to do something a little bit different. I decided to ask what are some things they wish we knew as men. What are our mistakes and shortcomings that bother them the most? After asking around, the answers where quite staggering…

1. Stop getting jealous when we talk about other guys.

“Whenever you talk about girls, we don’t say much (which is a feat in and of itself). But when WE talk about other guys, it’s like we just shot your dog.”

Jealousy is an ugly emotion. If you trace it to it’s root, jealousy is simply a feeling of inadequacy. I mean, what do you sub-communicate when you get overly jealous? You are admitting that you do not feel good enough to be with her, and that someone else could have more to offer than you. What the hell man?! How did you stray so far from your path? I remember in the old days where a girlfriend would go out and I would mumble something weak like “Just… just don’t do anything stupid” and I would sit at home like a child praying she’d come back to me. Pathetic. Man up! Trust her to go out with her friends. KNOW that she is yours and you have nothing to fear. When my girl is going out, my only response is “great! Have a blast babe” and I go about my day. Once you internally know beyond any doubt that you are the greatest thing to ever happen to her (without presumption of course), you no longer have anything to worry about. I mean logically speaking, short of tying her in your basement (which CMP in no way encourages*), there is no real way to stop her from cheating. Stop fighting what you can’t control and learn to trust. If you are being a man, she will not cheat on you, because being a man is what she truly deeply wants you to be. Let her talk about whoever she wants, at the end of the day, there’s a reason she’s yours.

2. be honest

“Pick-up lines are obvious, dumb and try hard. Be open and honest with us. If you beat around the bush, chances are we will over-analyze every single thing you do because there is no clarity. We do not mean to come off crazy, but we do get crazy if you don’t explain yourself properly”.

So well said! We at the Centered Man Project are long time proponents of the idea that being honest is the best way to go about interactions with the opposite sex. I mean who really needs more of a headache? Cut the shit and make your life simple.

Authentic isn’t creepy. YOU are creepy. Weather you tell her she is beautiful or asking for the time, YOU are a creep, because you went up there with the intention of spreading her legs. You don’t care about who she is, her passions, her fears, her past or who she aspires to be. You only care about the 4 inches of flesh in between her legs. Being authentic is beautiful. Being authentic is a breath of fresh air in a damp room. Walk in with grace, tell her she looks lovely and you want to get to know her, BECAUSE you want to get to know her. Because its real, and true. A good example of being authentic? Ryan Gosling’s character in Gangster Squad (spoiler alert) where he is joking around to Emma Stone and telling her he is a Bible salesman when he is in fact a cop. His words are rubbish, his eyes are telling the true story. She asks him if he was hoping to impress her with these lines to which he responds beautifully; “No m’am, I was just hoping to get you into bed”. I would’ve totally banged him.

Say what you have to say. If you really care about yoga, talk about yoga. If you are passionate about purple elephants, spend hours and hours discussing purple elephants with her. It isn’t what you say, it’s the energy you give off while saying it. You have to GENUINELY believe you are the greatest man to walk into her life, and that it will work. Is it complicated to get to this point? Absolutely not, its the easiest thing EVER! Is it hard to reach that kind of authenticity? absolutely. But is is very attainable. I like a line from Andre 3000 in the song “Green Light”. He says at one point “If I were you, it would be me that I’d go home with”. Would you go home with you? I would go home with me without hesitating. Can you say the same?

3. Acting alpha; putting yourself up by bringing people down

“It’s such a turn off when guys try to be alpha and think lower other people makes them look better. Why can’t you guys just chill out sometimes? You think we don’t notice what you’re doing but we do, and its gross”.

I’m actually surprised that my girlfriends phrased this so well. I didn’t know they consciously noticed that kind of thing. I previously thought it was a subconscious thing and they would just get turned off not really knowing why. I was caught off guard at the fact that they sure as hell notice, and will not let men get away with it!

A dominant man is unabashedly authentic. Dominance is not a duality in which one lowers the other to raise himself. Dominance transcends that entirely. Being friendly to seek approval is needy. Being unfriendly to look cool is needy. Needy people depend on others’ reactions. To be truly dominant, you have to focus on something greater than protecting your ego; Authentic

4. difference between being cocky and being confident

“Men don’t seem to understand that we don’t think you are confident when you are being cocky. It’s actually a turn off because we can’t really relate to you if all you do is talk about how great you are”.

This is something I struggled with for a while. Cockiness does not equate confidence. Every time I find myself on the verge of saying something cocky to prove a point, I remember the age-old saying “a rich man doesn’t have to tell you he’s rich”. In much the same way, pretending to be confident by being cocky is not confident. So what is confidence? An unrelenting belief in yourself that whatever you set your mind to will work. Confidence is about giving yourself permission to behave the way you want, to act on your intentions. You have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can walk up to her in front of her friends, you can introduce yourself to her, you can tell her she is stunning, and that it will make her decade when you come up and tastefully hit on her. How do you build up that kind of confidence? By being tested. The subject of an upcoming post, but in short; get out there. Go and try. There is no other way.

5. Don’t be afraid of being a gentleman

“Woman do like to feel appreciated and respected. There is nothing wrong with being a gentleman. It doesn’t make you out to be the “nice guy”, but instead, differentiates you from the crowd of immature losers who have no class”.

As an old-school romantic, I entirely support this statement. Men have forgotten how to be men. Chivalry is not dead, it simply evolved. Some men purposely feel the need to behave a certain way in order to not stale a relationship out of fear of loss. They hold themselves back and play aloof in hopes of tricking their women that they aren’t really as emotionally committed as they are.

Have some class! When you pick her up on a date, tell her how stunning she looks. “My god you look ravishing in that dress!” She made the effort for you, idiot! Notice, enjoy her, celebrate her. I gush over women all the time and am entirely shameless about it. I don’t follow some stupid two-day rule before I call, I tell her “I’m excited about you girl! I’m calling you tonight, you better answer” with a tongue-in-cheek smile. What is there to be afraid of? If you are not needy, you will not seem needy. Like a breath of fresh air, she sure as hell will notice you; “woah… There is a man who isn’t afraid to express himself”. Be old school. You can be the nice guy she introduces to her parents, and the badboy in the bedroom. You don’t have to choose between being one or the other. Being centered is about a balance between masculine raw-testosterone bad boy and intelligent, in-touch-with-his-emotions nice guy. Find your center!

Love and lots of it
TheMack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 2:25 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:30 pm
Posts: 35
Great posts.. Very interesting topic. I Enjoy them reading allot and trying to implent them into my life.

Thing is i don't know how to "love myself" more than i do now. I find myself a very qualitive nice guy and i can argument that from A till Z.

In general life Getting rid of my ego is really hard. In situations i have the feeling that im somewhat dependant on reactions while on that moment i rationally say to myself in my head that it does not matter. Still it does not feel and my ego wants to show off. I want to disconnect from my ego but my ego does not seem to want to. Lol.


In terms of girls. When im into her i naturally give up more of myself. Normally i can behave fine on what i want/desire. I express myself congruently 90% without hesitation, without thought. The other 10% is the above part.. But when with somoene i'm into i seem to forget myself sometimes. I dont call out on her behaviour as much as i want. If she's late or didnt take good care of things. It's not that i want to but im afraid to. It's that the thought hey what the hell is she doing doesn't even come up to me. When it does come up later i push myself to do it anyways.

The thing im having lately is to indeed act on first emotions. With girls , with general life. Little jobs i feel like i should do if i give them thought i notice i am more unlikeley to do it. When i do not listen to the thoughts and its done i think of myself yeah it was really good to do. This concept comes back at me at the simplest things as putting on music on my mp3. I have a mega hard time deciding what to put on and when i put something on i want something else. But when i just shuffle im like fuck that thought after 1 song everything is great. Same with approaching for example. Or maybe i am relating the wrongs thing together.


I also have question for you Mack. How do you meditate? You wrote you came up with something while meditating. Isn't meditating clearing your mind?


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:12 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2011 9:54 pm
Posts: 113
Quote:
“better indeed is knowledge than mechanical practice.
Better than knowledge is meditation.
But better still is surrender of attachment to results, for there follows immediate peace”. - Bhagavad Gita


Renounce and Rejoice!

There is absolutely no greater joy than a complete sense of surrender. I was watching the scene in Fight Club where the protagonist and Tyler Durden are fighting over the control of a car speeding down a road and Tyler keeps yelling to “just let go!”. It really got me thinking. Not to ruin the book or movie, but the protagonist does eventually let go and the car ends up crashing into a ditch. Still wanna let go?

Although renunciation has been a major theme I have written about on multiple occasions, I decided to explore it and dedicate an article to this often misunderstood eastern-imported concept.

”Seek refuge in the attitude of detachment and you will amass the wealth of spiritual awareness. Those who are motivated only by the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do. When consciousness is unified however, all vain anxiety is left behind”. – Bhagavad Gita

All life is chaos. We are thrust into a world we do not understand and we leave it even more confused than when we came in. We chase after external objects that we think will make us happier and they don’t, so we chase something bigger. We don’t seem to understand that the smell and feel of a new car wears off quickly…

“When you keep thinking about sense objects, attachment comes. Attachment breeds desire, the lust of possession that burns to anger. Anger clouds judgment. Lost is the ability to learn from past mistakes”. – Bhagavad Gita

There is, however, an underlying order to this chaos. We do not see it at first, but the universe works in such an extraordinary way, to the point where the beating of a butterflies’ wings causes typhoons half way across the world. The universe is so powerful that the moon causes water levels to rise or recede, and winters can effect our emotions. Take a minute to let that sink in. Now keep reading… this post is not about nature, or some strange esoteric new-age idea. This post is about one of the most important aspects of masculinity: Self-worth.

“But those who realize the self are always satisfied. Having found the source of joy and fulfillment they no longer seek happiness form the external world. They have nothing to gain or lose by any action; neither people nor things can affect their security”. – Bhagavad Gita

One of the most amazing men I have ever encountered is Zan Perrion, a Canadian author and renowned womanizer in the same tradition as Don Juan and Casanova. We were discussing life, love and romance when he said something that I can never forget. He looked up from his chair and said “Renunciation is the key. There can never be any depth in anything without renunciation”.

I know what you’re thinking

Renunciation must be the opposite of depth. How can you commit if you renounce? Zan is quite an interesting fellow. He sold all of his material possessions, does not own a phone, and gave the rest of his belongings to his beloved daughter. He then committed himself to his passions and left to travel the world. You see, when you renounce attachment, you begin to experience things more fully than while you are attached. There is no truer love than unconditional love.

Do I have to sell my things and be a monk?

Absolutely not. Just stop caring about them. As an exercise, turn your phone off. Get off Facebook, unplug your Ipod and stop reading your emails. Just for one day, close the door to your room and just sit there. If you cannot be alone with yourself and actually enjoy the experience, you do not love yourself the way you should.

It is astounding to me to what extent we have been programmed to draw our self-worth from material goods and external circumstances. No, this is not a tirade against materialism. If you want that new car, work your ass off and get it. If you want to live a simple life, take that first scary step towards a simpler life. All that matters is that your self-worth is not attached to the outcome of your actions. As a wise man once said, “I am motivated by achievement, not by pride”.

How do I renounce?

It all began as a conscious decision. It came to the point where I could not be happy unless I was getting some kind of attention. I figured that if I was getting attention from women, I must be an attractive and interesting person. It came to the point where I could not be happy unless I had the best new suit, the best new pair of shoes (I was at pair number 12 and was looking forward to number 13). I was so wrong…

My first step was to willingly unplug myself. Instead of needing, I decided to give. Instead of manipulating, I began to invite. Instead of planning, I began to flow. I had unknowingly embarked upon the most extraordinary summer of my life.

Surrender

As men, it’s frightening to lose control. But once you surrender, once you renounce, you begin to experience something amazing: joy. Most people confuse joy and happiness. They are not synonymous. In western culture, happiness is an elusive concept. A type of construct that has a time limit attached to it. We embark upon a ‘pursuit of happiness’ and hope to reach it in a given amount of time (Ever heard yourself say “When I get this, I will be happy”, or “when this happens, I will be happy”?). Happiness is now tied to an external source but we forget one crucial issue: What can be given, can be taken away. Why would you put your well-being in the hands of others? Why would your self-worth be attached to something fleeting and impermanent? Here is where joy comes in. Joy is the highest emotion, because it is tied to nothing external. We are born joyful. Don’t mistake a baby’s crying as unhappiness. A child is the happiest thing on earth because it is the freest. It’s self-worth in no way comes from attachment to external sources. Give it an object then take it away. Let the baby cry for a few minutes and then watch him be curious, distracted, happy and excited by even the smallest speck of dust on the ground.

So why surrender? Because with the simple act of surrender, you take an immeasurable step towards empowerment. The act of surrender, although scary at first, will give you a greater amount of self-control than rigidly clinging to a false set of values and external objects. Understand that only when you are free, you can act the way you are meant to act.

Act

This is immeasurably important. Act, but not as a man attached. Act as a man established within himself. Behave in the way you were meant to. Being born a male does not automatically earn you the title of man. A man acts in line with his nature and values, but with a complete sense of detachment. Your self-worth is not attached to the outcome of your actions. Win or lose, you are still you.

In practical terms: hit the gym because you have to stay healthy – not because you want a pat on the back for those abs. And yes, women will still love you with a pot belly. Get that promotion because ambition is what makes us men – weather you get it or not is irrelevant, it’s the fact that you are actively shooting higher and higher. See what I’m getting at here?

Your self-worth comes from within. If you make the active decision that from now on, you are attractive to all women, you will be. If you make the decision that form now on, you will do whatever it takes to get in shape, you will. If you decide that you will devote yourself to excelling in your line of work, you will. If a woman turns away from you, it does not make you unattractive. If losing that gut takes a little more time than expected, so be it. The important part is that your actions are fueled by a desire to grow as a man, and not for results.

The Journey is the destination

Go ahead! Renounce!

Go and talk to that cute girl that gets coffee at the same place every morning. Don’t plan what you will say, don’t think about how she will react. Let go and just walk up to her. Tell her you want to see her again and give her your number. You are a man, she is a woman. That is all you need. If she likes you she’ll call. Who cares what happens? Try living without control. Flow naturally. Turn your damned phone off and start paying attention to people. Don’t plan meetings and events, tell people where you will be and invite them to come along. Weather they show up or not is irrelevant, you are going on your adventure anyway. Who cares if you are late to that party? Who cares if you missed that important phone call? You are discovering you! You are busy enriching your character. Oh and that girl from the coffee shop? She wondered why you haven’t called her yet and so she finally called to ask you to come out with her and her girlfriends.

Trust

“One who conquers himself is greater than another who conquers a thousand times a thousand men on the battlefield. Be victorious over yourself and not over others. When you attain victory over yourself, not even the gods can turn it into defeat”. – Dhammapada

Trust in yourself. Most of the time you fail because you do not trust in yourself. You do not trust that you are charming, so you force people to stay around you. You do not trust that you are attractive, so you crowd the one who shows the slightest bit of interest in you. You do not trust you deserve the best, so you settle for that low-paying position. Most importantly, trust that things will work out the way they should. If she likes you, she’ll call. If you are interesting to be around, interesting people will surround you! Imagine a life where everything just flows naturally. You no longer need to worry about outcomes. You act because you should, you trust in yourself because you just know that you are the best you can possibly be.

Go ahead. Set yourself free.

Love and lots of it
Mack

I don't really like the terms surrender or renounce but the core of the message reminds me of a TED speech by Brene Brown on the Power of Vulnerability. It seems to me that vulnerability is tied to the things at the core of your message; honesty, authenticity, courage, creativity. She also has a second speech that then focuses on shame and how shame is what truly stands between us and vulnerability. The links are below, I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts on her ideas. It was something I'd really been blind to but I get the feeling she's only scratching the surface.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on ... ility.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_li ... shame.html


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 6:33 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:54 am
Posts: 33
Subbing. This article is one of the best!

Profectus


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 3:02 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
Quote:
Great posts.. Very interesting topic. I Enjoy them reading allot and trying to implent them into my life.

Thing is i don't know how to "love myself" more than i do now. I find myself a very qualitive nice guy and i can argument that from A till Z.

In general life Getting rid of my ego is really hard. In situations i have the feeling that im somewhat dependant on reactions while on that moment i rationally say to myself in my head that it does not matter. Still it does not feel and my ego wants to show off. I want to disconnect from my ego but my ego does not seem to want to. Lol.


In terms of girls. When im into her i naturally give up more of myself. Normally i can behave fine on what i want/desire. I express myself congruently 90% without hesitation, without thought. The other 10% is the above part.. But when with somoene i'm into i seem to forget myself sometimes. I dont call out on her behaviour as much as i want. If she's late or didnt take good care of things. It's not that i want to but im afraid to. It's that the thought hey what the hell is she doing doesn't even come up to me. When it does come up later i push myself to do it anyways.

The thing im having lately is to indeed act on first emotions. With girls , with general life. Little jobs i feel like i should do if i give them thought i notice i am more unlikeley to do it. When i do not listen to the thoughts and its done i think of myself yeah it was really good to do. This concept comes back at me at the simplest things as putting on music on my mp3. I have a mega hard time deciding what to put on and when i put something on i want something else. But when i just shuffle im like fuck that thought after 1 song everything is great. Same with approaching for example. Or maybe i am relating the wrongs thing together.


I also have question for you Mack. How do you meditate? You wrote you came up with something while meditating. Isn't meditating clearing your mind?
Thanks so much for the feedback brother!
Although there are a variety of ways to meditate, clearing your mind is usually the intention. Once your mind begins to quiet down, you can actually notice thoughts come up and the better you get, the clearer and more oriented they become. You know when you put a slideshow on your computer and one picture fades away and another one comes up. You can kinda see that one picture dissolves towards the left of the screen and the new one pops up from the right and eventually takes over the entire frame? Its kinda like that. You see your thought come up, and you are conscious of it (which means whatever is producing these thoughts and your consciousness are two separate entities. Pretty creepy once you consider the ramifications). Once you see that thought, you can either watch it like a TV show or you can dissolve it by bringing your focus back on your breathing. So when you meditate deeply, you can actually see your thoughts super clearly and sometimes they teach you something about yourself that you didnt know. Its kinda cool.

Love and lots of it brother

Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 3:04 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
What You can Learn From Harvey Specter

Harvey Specter is undoubtedly a highly influential character, despite not actually existing. In two seasons of Suits (and a third one on it’s way), Harvey Specter has quickly become one of North America’s favorite cocky, undefeated super-lawyers. New York’s self-proclaimed ‘Best Closer’ should be an inspiration to all men for his fierce dedication and overwhelming confidence. And yet, what are the elements of his character that tie him together? What is it about him that makes him so influential? What can you learn from Harvey Specter?

1. Unrelenting Ambition

Lets begin at the beginning. Harvey worked his way through law school, the mail room, and all the way to the top of New York’s most prestigious law firm. How? When Jessica (Harvey’s boss for you non-Suits-watchers) promotes Harvey to the position of senior partner, she asks him for the half a million dollar buy-in that all senior partners must pay. Harvey promptly takes out an envelope when Jessica informs him that he has a couple months to pay. He smiles at her and answers “I’ve had this ready ever since I set my sights on senior partnership”.

When a Centered Man sets his sights on something, be it that championship, the promotion or that beautiful girl at the Coffee shop, his tunnel vision is turned on and everything else ceases to exist. He knows he will take what he wants come hell or high water. Let me repeat that: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER. There is literally nothing that should stand in your way when you set your sights on something. Ever wonder what it takes to be a leader of men? That’s what it takes. You have to be the man who plays to win. The man who will not be refused.

2. Unparallelled Belief in Himself

Harvey has a funny way of carrying himself. He always seems to make himself noticed whenever he walks into a room. Forget for a second that he has a reputation. Just imagine being at an event and seeing that man walk in. His hair perfectly combed, his freshly-pressed suit, his relaxed body language and his head held high, sporting that ‘I-own-the-world’ smile. His name alone carries immense weight and he spends time carefully maintaining his reputation as a man you do not want to go up against. His famous mantra of “I win… That’s what I do” is something every man should say to himself in the mirror every morning.

The Centered man knows that a mans greatest calling is achievement. To paraphrase Robin Sharma, his life’s purpose is to live a life of purpose. I see this too many times; men walking around aimlessly and void of any real drive in life. What is your passion? What is your art? What is your gift? What will you leave behind when you die? What will you be remembered for? A Centered Man knows that his self-worth is intrinsically linked to his drive for achievement. With every hurdle, we grow as men. With every challenge, we discover our true selves just a little bit more. Want to build unshakable confidence? There is only one way; get out there and challenge yourself. Push yourself harder than you ever thought possible. Win or lose, you solidify your identity every time you step outside your comfort zone.

3. Unwavering Moral Values

This one really hit home. Unlike the vast majority of role-models these days, it is difficult to find someone who has lines he will not cross, not for any amount of money/glory/fame or whatever else (can the same not be said about most men today?). Here, Harvey Specter stands out. As a part of his legendary reputation, one well known fact is that Harvey will not take the easy way out. When facing seemingly insurmountable odds, when everyone else has given up, Harvey is the only one who keeps his wits about him and does not bend the knee just to make his job easier.

The Centered Man knows that he lives in a world where rules are made to be broken, where someone’s word no longer means much and where some men would sell their own mothers for a quick buck. I hear this kind of nonsense all the time; guys who sleep with their best friend’s girlfriends, guys with no self-respect who cheat on their own girlfriends or spouses, guys who always prefer the easy way out rather than sticking it out through the fire ’til the better end. What happened to us? Did the great conquerors simply give up and go home when the going got tough? Did the great inventors shut their mouths when their ideas challenged the fragile ego of society? All great men live by a code. If you do not have a code of conduct, sit down and write one out for yourself. Do you find yourself being treated in a way that you don’t deserve? Sit down and write down what you will and will not accept from people. I usually have 3 strikes before I cut people out (or one big one). Figure this stuff out! Start with “Today, I will behave in a way that…” and then fill in the characteristics of your behavior. Find your code of conduct and stick to it. Need inspiration? Here is mine:

“Be fearless and pure; never waver in your determination or your dedication to the spiritual life. Give freely. Be self-controlled, sincere, truthful, loving and full of the desire to serve. Learn to be detached and take joy in renunciation. Do not get angry and harm any living creature, but be compassionate and gentle; show good will to all. Cultivate vigor, patience, will, purity; avoid malice and pride.” -Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 16, verses 1-4

Just like Harvey, when the chaos of the world becomes overwhelming and you can no longer act in detachment, with a pure mind, you will always have your code of conduct to fall back on. You will find clarity where there is confusion and be able to act from a position of strength and not weakness. In that alone I praise Harvey Specter, as it is a quality every man should have.

Go ahead, build your legend.

Mack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 159 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link