I often hear people rationalize their lack of initiative in the most baffling ways. In this day and age there truly is no valid excuse for not achieving. There simply isnt!

How many times have I heard people look around at others and right off their excuses as caused by something completely arbitrary instead of sheer hard work.

Let’s examine some of them shall we?

“he’s successful because he has big muscles/good looks/nice style/money”

This is one of the most common ones. Aside from the fact that being attractive has virtually nothing to do with looks, why not just do the obvious here? In the years you spent complaining about better looking people, you could have whitened your teeth, got a nice new hair cut and started eating better to have better skin and overall health. You could have worked on your posture and body language to convey what you want to.

In the years you spent complaining about guys with big muscles, you could have hit the gym and gotten as big as Arnold if you felt that would help.

Style? Come on. Go to HnM or Zara and you can get an entire new wardrobe for about 200$. This isnt rocket science.

Challenge your excuses

In reality, whenever we are faced with a situation, our instincts kick in and we are faced with two choices: fight, or flight. The one we choose determines the quality of life we will live thereafter. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I hesitated to go after a lovely girl I was interested in, for whatever bogus rationalization my brain made up, acted anyway and began amazing relationships and adventures that I wouldnt trade for anything in the world.

When faced with fight or flight, the question you should ask is; “If this was my last day on earth and I had nothing to lose, how would I act?”. When you remember your own mortality, it’s remarkable how clear your life choices become.

What makes a man

I was at a bar last night and was waiting by the bathroom for a friend. I watched as one after another these guys with HUGE muscles walked passed me. I remember thinking “man that guy is fit… I wish I was fit like that” and then I saw them all bundle up in a corner, stare at women and do nothing about it. I realized that what makes a man is not at all how he looks, what makes a man is how he chooses to act.

This goes beyond romance by the way. I catch myself making these kinds of excuses all the time. You want to get in shape? Cut out the bullshit and do it. You want to live an extraordinary life, leave your house for one hour every single day and make a new friend. Come hell or high water, you commit to it and you go. 90% of life is just showing up!

One day at a time

This was huge for me. I’d be nearing deadlines for my goals and would realize I’m not about to reach them so… eh, what the heck, just go all out. I would realize I won’t lose 10 pounds before summer, so theres no harm in eating bad food right? I wouldn’t finish this project in time anyway, so why not just chill out and do it later? These are awful realizations that are detrimental to your goals.

I realized something that had HUGE implications. When you chose to eat well, it shouldn’t be for some not so distant outcome of an 8 pack so everyone could hi-five you. For those of you who are spiritually-minded, you eat right because you recognize that your body is sacred because God dwells within. For those of you who arn’t spiritually-minded, you should eat right because you want to live! It feels good to be healthy and eat right. So every day, ask yourself this: “Today and today only, did I live the way I want to?”. In other words, were your actions in line with your Center, with your highest Self?

Today I will work out because it feels good. Today, I will eat healthy, because I want my body to be at it’s best. Today I will work on my passions, because life is too short to do otherwise. Today, I will accomplish something, because I believe in making myself a better person. Tomorrow I will too. After that? Who knows. One day at a time.

Give. Love. Serve. Meditate.

Mack

http://centeredmanproject.com/challenge-your-excuses/

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http://centeredmanproject.com/rogues-an ... tered-man/

The Centered Man is a lifestyle. It is an ongoing process that aims for total freedom in a world where there is so little. The Centered Man is a tribute to the great men of the past; the great dreamers, the great thinkers, the great lovers and the great conquerors. In communion with his deepest masculine essence, the Centered Man lives his life with purpose.

The Centered Man begins his day with gratitude. He pause – as all great men do, and with the rising of the sun he reflects on the blessing that is another day on earth. As he heads to the shower his mind is brewing with his tasks of the day. He asks himself the same question he asks every morning; “If today were my last day on earth, how would I live it?” and then proceeds to behave in that way. His mornings are spent in peace, far from the tumults of the day. In quiet meditation he finds his strength and inspiration to overcome the challenges life throws at him. His habits are rituals, as sacred as any other – he knows no other way.

Rakish in nature, he dresses like it. As he leaves his house he salutes the new day with a smile. With all the opportunity in the world at his fingertips, he walks like royalty and behaves like it too.

Firmly established in himself, his confidence is unshakable. Having survived the darkness in his own soul and come out the other end, what does he have to gain or lose by any action? Every Centered Man is born of a life changing event. A rite of passage that allowed the boy in him to die and the man in him to rise. With an overwhelming sense of love and compassion for his fellow man, he makes casual conversation with those who need it. He reminds them of their significance as they themselves seem to have forgotten it. Everyone wants to be unique. Everyone is art.

Supremely comfortable with his desires, he understands his role as a man on earth. Old, young, tired or sick, healthy or beautiful, it makes no difference to him. Whenever he is in the presence of a woman, she is the only one on earth and he looks at her like he has never seen anything more stunning in his life. He leaves her with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart, as if his very attention reminded her of her own beauty.

With an insatiable thirst for adventure and an innate desire to make every day memorable, he notices a lovely woman walking along his path. At ease in the world, he laughs and almost hears a voice in his head, as if the universe is saying “I’m giving you one chance my friend, you better take it”. He wastes no time entertaining useless thoughts. Indeed, before he even has the time to think, his feet are already walking towards her. He is eager to be surrounded by beauty in all forms. He casually interrupts her day and introduces himself, but he does not stop there. His goal is to explore, to understand and to enjoy. He sees the unity in all life – what is there to fear? He invites her to become a part of the adventure. Completely at ease with his intentions, he looks her square in the eye – what is there to hide?

The Centered Man does not blend in. He lives life by his rules and is both loved and hated for it. He walks into every room with a big warm smile on his face, as if trying to say; “I am here… You lucky devils”. Men are eager to shake his hand and women cannot help but blush at the prospect of being swept up in his flirtatious ways. A true gentlemen, he does not kiss and tell – his discretion is always assured. Kind, no one is ever unwelcome in his company, or ever made to feel like less of a person. Alas, the night is still young and there is more adventure to be found, more treasure to be discovered. Nothing can ever distract him from his path. His purpose is clear.

Dedicated, every act is for the greater good. Every project, every creation and every action is aimed at leaving behind his gift to the world. He wastes no time on distractions, he pours all his creative energy into his passions. His work is his creation. His job is his art.

At the end of the day, he kneels in quiet meditation. Spiritual, he worships the divine by marveling at the immaculate beauty of all life. Indeed, his very purpose is deeply intertwined with finding the beauty in all things – a treasure chest inside all people.

Give. Love. Serve. Meditate.

Mack

_________________
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First article of 2014. I'm pretty excited.

Given the current slew of "How to stick to your New Years resolutions" articles, I decided to do something a little bit different. I mean, the answer is glaringly obvious. You can do something for 21 days to make a habit, you can pay your friends every time you don't succeed, you can use the elastic technique (look it up) and I could go on for hours about the ways to stick to your goals. The one crucial element that you absolutely, most definitely, without a doubt have to have is the ability to take action. Crazy huh? Who would have known that the never-failing, idiot-proof method for getting things done is to... well... get things done!

So, in line with that, I want to take a moment to reflect.

I want to reflect on love...

... As there is no action without love. It is the single greatest driving force known to man, and not tapping into it would be insane. Out of love for your work, strive to be flawless. Be unreasonably excellent at your work. Out of love for the women in your life, take the time to celebrate them, to make them feel beautiful and to remind them of their radiance, spend time with them and allow their caring presence to recharge your batteries as only a woman can. Out of love for life, make it memorable. Live every experience like a movie. Out of love for your brothers, do not treat anyone as less than a man. Finally, out of love and respect for yourself, hold yourself to unreasonably high standards. Behave as if your very actions are watched by millions at all times. Truly, 'character is what you do when no one else is watching'.

I want to reflect on passion...

... Without it there would be no thirst, no will and nothing to strive for. We develop our passions because they give meaning to our lives. Don't search for purpose, search for passions and the purpose will manifest itself. Lose yourself. For one day, one hour or even one minute, but take time to lose yourself in your passions. A man of passion is a man of ambition. Passion means that we refuse to settle for 'good enough'. Passion ensures that we could provide a better life for the ones we love. It is what makes us men.

I want to reflect on time...

... It is non-existent. Be late for that dinner because you stopped on the street to ask that man about what he was painting. Turn off the TV, and cancel your subscription to Netflix. Don't complain about a lack of time - you have plenty. Make it count. With everything this world has to offer, you have absolutely no right to be bored, ever. Unplug yourself and see the sunlight for the first time.

I want to reflect on who you are

... You are not your past, you are not your future. Your past actions do not define you. If you fell into a coma and forgot who you were and I somehow convinced you that you have superpowers and are a go-getter, you would be accomplishing amazing things. If you couldn't remember the past, would it still affect you? No. So why let it affect you now? Free yourself. It is the greatest gift you could give yourself.

Finally, I want to reflect on life.

... It is so short, so precious and so incredibly amazing. It would be a sin not to live to the fullest. Let go of anger, resentment and hate. It's interesting how when you remind yourself of your own mortality, all the pettiness seems to fall away. Seriously. Sit down and think about that for a minute. You have 44,198,784 minutes in your lifetime. That is 44,198,784 that you will never, ever, ever get back. Decide to no longer waste a single one of those on useless things. And don't fret over material things to feel good about yourself. At the end, we all end up under ground. Live now. Life wild. Go out, go crazy, meet people and stop taking yourself (and life) so seriously. 10 billion years from now, none of this will have mattered.

Live 2014 like a movie. See what choices you make that lead to the most memorable of times. Be a pirate, a rogue, an adventurer, a lover, a gentlemen. Live extraordinarily... It's a sin not to.

"And stop trying to please everyone... Small men do that. It's time to be magnificent" - Zan Perrion

Give. Love. Serve. Meditate.

Mack

_________________
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I've just finished reading the entire thing. I must say, this should be the very first post every newbie reads, and if they understand, then it should probably be the last one too. As I have read it, there hasn't been a single sentence that I disagreed with.

I have a little story that I shared here in at least a dozens of threads, not to brag, but because one way or another it was relevant. Now I realize why it was always relevant. Practically speaking this is the story of how I became a Centered man.

It happened during the spring of 2012. My girlfriend admitted to cheating on me with a guy he met at a concert. I wasn't mad. I couldn't blame her. The relationship sucked, it was only a matter of time. I broke up with her and then visited a friend. We had been living together in the dorm with this girl. It took about a month until I could have a new room until then I was living with said friend. The only free room was the one next to our old one. I didn't mind, I already knew the guy who lived there. I could already tell something was changing inside me, because I didn't feel intimidated by the fact that I'd be living next door to my ex girlfriend(whom I still loved at this point, by the way) But it didn't end here.

My roommate is quite an interesting person. Sadly, he's the most self-concious human being I have ever met. I'm constantly trying to help him, but without much result, perhaps I'll just redirect him here because you can explain things so much better than me. Anyway, he is what he is, and he likes snooping around. So one day, he tells me that the guy with whom my ex cheated on me is here, on the balcony talking with her. I hesitate not, and go out to the balcony. I guess my roommate was expecting some drama, or fight, but I had other things on my mind. I knew my ex well. If she chose this guy, over me, then he must be cool. (Another side of the story is that the guy didn't want a relationship with her, but right now it's irrelevant). So I really just had to get to know him. I walk out the balcony, smile on my face, I give him my hand, and introduce myself, and he does the same. Then my ex girlfriend points at me and says:"By the way he is my ex boyfriend". I look this guy in the eye, and I see fear. Indeed a fear of death, that I would throw him off the 4th floor. So I immediately tell him not to worry about that. This happened for a reason and I don't blame any of them, especially not him. He is now less terrified, but still worried, and now puzzled too. In the end we start talking, throwing jokes and he slowly realizes that I actually really don't care. My ex was not that surprised, she already knew I lacked jealousy, because throughout the relationship I didn't give a fuck when she studied together with her ex, or hung out with guys that fucked her before me.

To finish a long story shortly, we soon ran out of cigarettes. Me and the guy decides to go the nearest shop to buy some. We end up sitting on a bench near the shop and talking about all kinds of stuff. He felt so safe around me that he was sharing me things that only his best friends know(I'm quite sure about that. It was really that kind of stuff, you don't tell everyone). Right now, he is one of my best friends. He has a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend, and my ex has a boyfriend too. All three of us got our relationships that autumn, and all of us have been together with our significant others ever since. Now if anyone tells me that this was not supposed to happen this way, I will not believe him. The thing is, if I had let myself do what society expected me to do, and treated him as an enemy, instead of doing what I really wanted, my life would lack at the very least one really valuable person. Most of my friends lacked an understanding of this. Hell, some of them wanted to beat the crap out of poor guy. Our friendship didn't get unnoticed and many people told me that they couldn't have done this. I can only feel sorry for them. Seeing the result, that everyone is happy, how can they still not understand that this is the real way to happiness is beyond me.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hyjack your thread, I just felt like I should elaborate because your posts really hit me.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

“Therefore arise, conquer your enemies. I have already slain all these warriors; you will only be my instrument” – Bhagavad Gita [11:33]

I have written about renunciation in the past. Although letting go is part of renunciation, it is, however, a tiny fraction of the process that you can begin to practice right now.

Pick up your phone

… and hold it at arm’s length. It’s pretty light isn’t it? Now keep holding it over the next hour. You won’t be able to feel your arm. Within 10 hours, your entire body will ache and your shoulder will feel like it’s about to fall off. Holding on to anger, pain, resentment and sorrow, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant works in the same exact way.

It’s tough

Nobody said it was going to be easy. Letting go requires disconnecting from your ego, albeit only temporarily. It requires creating a space between yourself and the situation. It requires, sometimes, swallowing your pride and accepting that you arn’t going to be right this time. Why would anyone want that? In simple terms; because holding on does not lead to peace.

Holding on does not lead to peace

This goes beyond arguments. This is about letting go of everything. All the baggage, all the negativity, all the anger, all the distrust, all the fear, all the resentment, all the pain, everything! Every man comes to a crossroads in life where they chose to either continue living the way they’ve been living, or reevaluate everything that isn’t working for them (if you chose option two, click here!). When that eventually happens, the first step is always letting go. How can it be anything else? How can you build your future if you keep clinging to your past? How can you find joy if you keep focusing on pain?

What is the past?

What is it but a collection of memories over a canvas? Where does your past go when you arn’t thinking it into existence? If you forgot your past, would it still be relevant to you today? The answer is no, it wouldn’t be. The past is used to rationalize your fear of the unknown. Letting go is diving into the unknown.

Give

Whatever it is you feel the world is withholding from you, give. Give in abundance. Give love, give respect, give kindness. Positive emotions is the highest currency.

“Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart – a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water – I accept with joy. Whatever you do, make it an offering to me – the food you eat, the sacrifices you make, the help you give, even your suffering” - Bhagavad Gita [9:26]

Remember you are mortal

This one is huge. When you are aware of your own mortality, it puts everything into perspective. Life only makes sense in the face of death. 10 billion years from now, when the earth will have been incinerated along with everyone on it, no body is going to care what you said to that girl, or weather or not you were right in that argument. Who cares? As mentioned above, letting go requires swallowing your pride and disconnecting from your ego. What this means is that when you approach a girl and she gets an ego boost from rejecting you, yet you are centered and feel nothing from the interaction, does it really matter? Let her have that ego boost if she needs it to feel good. If some girl tells all her friends that you are needy and chasing after her, yet you like her, but have plenty of other options and in no way feel needy around her, does it truly matter? Let her have the satisfaction of showing off to others that a high value man likes her. If someone is talking behind your back and tries to pick a fight, and yet, even though you know you are stronger than him, realize that violence is never the solution and so you walk away. Did he truly best you? Let him brag.

If others take advantage of you when you are holding your palms open and giving only love, then are they truly taking advantage of you? Let that sink in. Now on the other hand, if you feel taken advantage of… Maybe it’s because you were expecting something in return. If that was the case, have you truly lived in your center? Consider it.

You cannot lose a game you refuse to play.

Give. Love. Serve. Meditate

Patrick

_________________
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It goes without saying that men today lack role models. Gone are the days of the great men of integrity, character, charm and compassion. I won’t spend too long beating a dead horse. Without further ado…

1. A leader does.

I wanted to start simple. A leader does… Or in other words, he takes action. This is a defining characteristic of all great men. They do not get bogged down by insecurity, they do not let fear paralyze them, they do not stand by as spectators while others live the glory. No good comes out of inaction. This is an important thing to remember: It isn’t necessarily as important what moves you make, so long as you are making moves.

2. A leader sets an example.

When I began my journey into spirituality and self-development, I had the honor to spend time with some exceptional men which facilitated my change in world view from a negative one to a truly positive one. One thing I noticed was that I would watch them do things I previously believed to be impossible, and then began to experience them myself. This phenomenon is called Ignition in the book The Talent Code (highly recommended), but essentially, when we see others push the boundaries and do extraordinary things, we subconsciously give ourselves permission to behave in the same way. I understood then that my view of what was impossible was only in my head, and I decided to stop waiting for permission. A leader recognizes that barriers exist only in his mind and it is up to him to overcome them. No one else, just himself.

3. A leader is self-sufficient

There is a certain freedom in knowing that no help is coming. I noticed this behavior in a lot of my mentors. There was no need to wait, no need for help, and no need to be observed. A leader does not need external support, he is on his path and when he sets his sight on something, nothing else exists around him.

4. A leader is introspective

You can measure the worth of a man by the quality of his conversation, and without fail, all the greatest men I have ever encountered revolve their thoughts around the greater questions in life at the expense of the small. A leader takes the time to go deep, to see things for what they truly are and cuts through the turmoil of the material world.

5. A leader is at ease with himself

This one is huge. Most of the shortcomings I’ve noticed in men these days are directly linked to a lack of self-acceptance. Confidence is rooted in self-acceptance. Without one, you cannot have the other. A leader knows who he is, and therefore knows where to set the bar for success. He is completely comfortable with his desires and his ability to deliver and so he never questions his own leadership.

6. A leader is humble

I’ve noticed that those who talk most are usually those with the most to prove. A rich man doesn’t need to tell you he’s rich. I remember when I was first looking for mentors. Looking back, it was always the most quiet ones who delivered the most value. A leader has no need to talk about his accomplishments, or justify his leadership – his actions speak for themselves.

7. A leader is real

A friend of mine once told me that being real is about matching what you say with what you do. A leader is real in the truest sense of the word. His first impression is his only impression. He has nothing to hide and because of it, his word alone carries immeasurable weight.

8. A leader is relentless

What makes the difference between a small man and a great man? Not his past, not his disposition, not even luck. We all fail at some point, it is one of those inevitabilities that life offers. What truly makes the difference is the ability to get back up again, over and over and over again. A leader knows that every single time he falls, all it takes for him to succeed is to get back up and try again, no matter who many times it takes, a leader will not be defeated.

9. A leader is driven

If you do not know what you want, how do you know when you get it? If you truly had the success you think you want, would you be able to handle it? I’ve seen close friends be consumed and destroyed by their achievements, because they did not know what they actually wanted. A leader has a clear and detailed outcome in mind. He knows what he works for and it allows him to stay focused and disciplined.

10. A leader is passionate

Without passion, leadership is not possible. Without a passion there is no drive, there is no humility and there is no introspection. Passion is what lights that fire in men and allows us to stay grounded. Passion ensures that we will build a better life for ourselves and those around us. It is the fuel that great men rely on. Delinquent children exist because of a lack of role models. We mislabel them as badly behaved when in fact they display a wealth of energy with no direction to pour it in. A leader is deeply passionate. His purpose is intrinsically linked to his passion and his entire existence is an expression of that passion. Everything he does comes from a desire to create, to impart beauty. Men admire leaders because of that beauty, not in spite of it.

If you can convince even one man to see the world in the way you see it, you are a leader.

Give. Love. Serve. Meditate

Patrick

_________________
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The following is an excerpt from my journal. It's some very personal thoughts I've been having and expanding on. I just wanted to share as a thank you for all those who have been reading my stuff so far. I hope it helps and if some of it isn't clear, be sure to leave a comment below and I'll answer to the best of my abilities.


Enjoyment without attachment

This one is difficult to comprehend, but it's very Vincent Chase-esque where you go about your day open to everything but attached to nothing. It's like placing yourself as a magnet and observing as you attract situations and people. It's truly appreciating people and beauty without standing there hesitant and waiting for an opportunity to ask for the number or whatever. It's like, chill out, sit back and watch things unfold. I'm thinking here of last night at Theresa and Nathalia's super bowl party, I just showed up and relaxed and had a good time talking to everyone. I sit with Julian and we begin to talk spirituality. All of a sudden Theresa and Nathalia begin to pay attention and I just dominated the room without even trying to do so. Nathalia started making marriage jokes and it became a thing that we were getting married. Before I know it we're arm in arm on the couch and Theresa is mentioning how cute we are together...

I guess the ultimate test is to really enjoy getting to know a girl, hitting it off and then giving your number and not worrying about weather or not she'll call. I would have to genuinely speak to everyone, search for beauty in everyone and leave my number to everyone.

Allow yourself to be that cool guy

We all have a general idea of what it looks like to be the cool Vinnie Chase/Jacob Palmer guy, the game becomes about letting yourself be that guy. I notice that often times I will deliberately pull us out of a trancelike state for no reason. Why not allow deep conversation? Why not allow the bubble to form, the trance to take place? Why worry that women will call you out on it? As if it is a crime to be seductive.

Depression, victim mindset, anxiety are all luxuries

Not feeling good in your own skin, negative emotions, all of this shit exists because we allow it to. When you're too busy working on feeding your family and being warm for the winter, there is no time to have existential angst. Mid-life crises are a product of the West because we are the only ones who have that much time on our hands. Developing a fanatical yet stoic commitment to your goal, your dream, your passion, pretty much ensures that you will not get bogged down by self-doubt.

Be chill but draw attention

It's the distinction between being a clown and being interesting. Chill out and lay back, walk in with a smile. Don't try, just be. What you are saying is interesting simply because it is you saying it.

Tools: storytelling, misinterpretations, cold reading and adventure projections are all you need to be interesting

That's the midpoint between meeting her and seducing her. It's the part where you just have fun and shoot the shit, talking about whatever. Most importantly, it's how she gets to experience you. By expressing yourself in an authentic way, you break the monotony of the trillions of other idiots in her life. Through your expressions, she understands you and begins to trust you. She will not open up until she trusts you.

Don't be bothered by impermanence

Nothing is that big of a deal. Most of these people don't care about you, and will never remember you. That's kind of when you realize just how alone you really are and how empowering it is to truly know that you rely on yourself. I digress. Your past is irrelevant and each new step you take opens up a myriad of possibilities. Life consists of waves of impermanence, like the waves in the sea. Once this is understood and internalized, you notice anxiety/fear/worry, but you no longer identify with those emotions. What this looks looks like is being faced with a situation that arouses fear and angst and just kinda feeling it and laughing at it and then acting anyway. None of this shit is real, none of this shit matters... I am a fkn lion.

Dare: roll up and make out

Seriously. Everything I though previously impossible has been disproven, overcome and normalized in the years I've been in self-development. I noticed that all it usually takes for a myth to be dispelled is for someone to be crazy enough to do it, and then it becomes the norm... So why not dispel the myths yourself? Being daring is an attractive quality in and of itself.

Total tune out of other guys

Kind of combines the above two. It is RIDICULOUSLY EASY to outdo most guys. The bar isn't set very high. Simply walk up and ignore - they simply aren't a part of your reality. Imagine how deflating that is? Most guy's are reactive and so to ignore him totally is a deflation he's never experienced.

Who is screening? Who is trying to impress?

This is the underlying current of every interaction: one person is qualifying to the other. Always. Be it two old friends catching up at a bar or a man talking to his boss, there is invariably one person who wants to make an impression more than the other. Remember to chill out... None of this really matters. I realized that if you were to record my interactions, I could point out the specific moment when I said something with the intention to impress, no matter how subtle. Be the cause, not the effect. You counter this by focusing only on giving value (love, laughter, positive emotions... )

Make love in the moment and stop scanning the room!!

This is always a big problem for me, usually exacerbated when I haven't meditated. Turn your focus onto one thing, person, conversation at one time.

What this looks like is this: you're out with some friends and you're just shooting the shit, talking, having fun. From the corner of your eye you spot a cutie and without thinking, only with love, pure desire, you invite her into the conversation, the moment, the adventure.

Be conscious, not self-conscious

Being conscious is about observing things for the way they truly are, free of ego and illusion. It's knowing when someone is in need of praise or kindness. It's seeing through the bullshit and seeing God in everyone. There really is no other way to express it. It has to be felt and is the result of experiencing a lot and really getting out there that you begin to see. It's holding your ground when a girl straight up tells you she hates you but in her eyes you can just see the spark, you can see something that tells you otherwise. This is the most difficult thing to express because it's more of a gut feeling than anything else. It isn't the way she looks just you or something she says, there's just a spark. You can literally see the other person's soul and their needs, desires, angers and fears all become visible in that fraction of a second. You just understand the other person and as a result feel a true warmth and caring for that person.

I remember a friend of mine was out one night and came back with the most interesting story. He told me that he tried hitting on these girls and the guy in their group looked at him and in the warmest, most genuine way, said to him "you look cold man". My friend was taken aback. The guy then ordered a shot for him to warm him up. My friend was just puzzled and was kind of shut out from the girls. He asked me how to defeat that and I was honestly impressed... His motives were insincere (he was trying to get something out of the group... A girl) and the man was sincere. He was overwhelmed by the complete stranger's kindness. That really struck home for me. That man was conscious but not self-conscious. This is the next level. This is masculinity at it's finest.

If she withdraws attention, IOIs and validation, will your state crash?

I was at mckinnins with friends and I met that stunning girl (diplomat's daughter). She was real, genuinely interesting and outgoing. I quickly started to like her and as our conversation progressed, she began to warm up to me too. A song came on and she said she was going to dance with her friends but will be right back. I went to my friends and my state crashed. I had started to like her and that vulnerability opened a rift in my reality that sucked in negativity. I was at her mercy. If she didn't return I would feel crushed, if she did, I would feel amazing. Good doggy.

This goes back to one of the earlier points: enjoyment without attachment. She either comes back or she doesn't but I'm on my path. I have nothing to gain or lose by any action. This is easy to apply when there is nothing at stake. It's when you meet someone you think fits the mold that it becomes difficult to stick to your guns. Any idiot could have firm discipline but unless he is tested that discipline isn't worth anything.

Fully assume it is going to work, 100%

These are my concluding thoughts: the only difference between those who try and those who do is belief. All it takes is the firm knowledge that it will work. This isn't the "I think I can" wishful thinking. Mastery implies serenity of mind. An artist doesn't have to remind himself that he is talented while he works. This is a deeper sense of knowledge where your body, mind and soul are all aligned and literally nothing can get in your way. It is extremely difficult to reach this state of mental fortitude consistently, but we all achieve glimpses of it at times and in various endeavours. It is imperative however, to begin cultivating this kind of mental strength as soon and as early as possible. When we are hungry, we walk into our kitchen, open the fridge and make ourselves some food. We don't care who sees it, what they think of us and how the food sees itself. We just act. When we get horny however, we hide our desires, we drown it out in masturbation and pornography and then we brag about "all the ass we are getting". When the same mental peace you have when making food exists when going out and speaking to women, you will have reached mastery.

Be the man she could see herself having sex with.

This took me a long time to understand. The external half was easy: be sexy. Lower your pitch, speak with pauses, look seductively in her eyes, close the distance and escalate physically. I spent two years having fun with this. It helped me build the belief that if you were to leave me alone in a room with a woman for one hour, just one hour, I could make her fall in love with me.

There is, however, a second part to this that I only began to realize while talking to Alexia and to a lesser extent, Emily. Both are similar as they are both extremely sexy and don't try to be, they're both studious and more interested in getting good grades than meeting guys. A lot of guys I met who have tried their luck with these girls would say the same thing: these girls are prudes, or are sexually immature. While talking to them I realized that nothing could be further from the truth. Like all women, they have needs, but simply cannot find a man, or someone who is man enough to fill those needs.

Basically, being the man she could see herself having sex with is about being able to connect with the raw sexuality that exists within them, and showing them that they won't be judged for expressing it. It's about communicating that their sexuality is something sacred that you will both share but will remain secret. This is hard to communicate as it's a general vibe that you put out. Being non-judgmental is kind of like being a blank canvas on which women could freely project their sexuality, no matter how intense and crazy, while knowing that you will stay grounded and centered, that you are fully capable of handling them and not lose respect for them after.

Live according to your highest, most unreasonable ideal.

I remembered it being SO easy to give up my phone and Facebook and intricate text game and techniques and tactics and reminding her I exist constantly. Why? Because the man I wanted to be ten years from now didn't do that kind of crap. I realized that when reading a VERY good article on neediness. The author states "stop checking your phone every 5 minutes, you won't miss her call. And if you do, good. She'll know you're a busy man and your time is valuable". Woah. What a deep thought that is. I realized how guilty I was of then above mentioned habit and promptly put a stop to it.

I decided what kind of man I wanted to be. I visualized my self 10 years from now and truly analyzed the behaviours this man exhibited and I decided I did not want to be a chaser, so I stopped. I stopped chasing, I stopped texting, I stopped checking and confirming dates and worrying and thinking. I gave out my number instead and told them to call. At first they didn't. And I remember some closed minded friends regurgitating the stupid maxim they had read in the Game: "it's not a pickup if you don't get the number". Good. I didn't want to pickup. I'm not interested in pickup. So I cut out all material, stopped reading blogs and articles and methods. At first it was rough. I met some amazing girls and let them walk off, knowing I might never see them again. I didn't. But sooner or later I got the hang of it and had dates every week. Why? Because I was unreasonable. I set a standard for my behaviour that I refused to compromised and instead of adapting to a reality I hadn't agreed to part-take in, I built my own and let others squeeze in.

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Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Hey Mack. I read this post a few months ago, and I just wanna say, thank you.

I've been living in a terrible fued with my dad and half the family for the past few years, and I've always been so miserable and a shitty human towards others. I moved out at the end of the year last year and came across your post whilst bored at a rented apartment. And my life changed ever so quickly. I never thought it was possible, but I did it.

I've always been angry and miserable all my life. Thinking about the shit that could have been, and the shit that should be. I had a sour and corrupted heart. But now, I moved back in with my family, and everything was different. I saw the world with different eyes. My mind was impenetrable. And accompanied by a positive successful mindset.

But besides all this inner realisation, I'm still similar in a few things.

How do I stop being so weak and gives up so early? I notice when I have a point and someone else makes a debate, I almost always certainly give up and don't throw in my stuff. I've had this for all my life. I want to be more assertive and willing to fight back.

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"Don't try to change who you are. Don't even think you're not good enough right now. You ARE good enough being who you are. Women can smell a fake man the same way you can smell cheesecake."

Good day brother

First, I'm so happy to hear about how your life has taken a turn for the better. Furthermore, I am genuinely honored that I had a part to play in it. Please keep up the astounding work! Everyone on this forum is your greatest fan, remember it!

Your problem is two-fold. Allow me to explain:

Being assertive and arguing are two very different things. Are you afraid to speak your truth and stand up for what you believe in? If that is the case, then it's a problem. How will you step up to the plate and speak your truth to the woman of your dreams? If you can't stand up for what you believe in, how will you stand up for your loved ones when they need it the most? How will you teach your future children how to do so if you yourself cannot muster the courage? One of the saddest things in life is when a son cannot look up to his father.

On the other hand, if your question is just about winning arguments, let me ask you this: Why? Why does it even matter? Why do you feel you absolutely have to win an argument? To prove that you are right? Great! What do you win? Nothing.

Silence is always better. Talk less, listen more. Wisdom isn't gained through debate but through listening.

Give. Love. Serve.
Mack
Centered Man Project

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your comment one day at a time

and how we set goals and if we arent going to reach em we just say fuck it


I have a problem here. im doing that daily, if i didnt reach that mile or ate one potatoe chip. fuck it seems the whole day is ruined. you say one day at a time. if one day at a time doesnt work for me. should I say one hour at a time? I find myself rejecting a whole day when it doesnt go as planned why the fuck am I letting that get to me

Hey mate, I dont quite understand your post. Would you mind rephrasing so I can help you out?

Give. Love. Serve.
Mack
CenteredManProject

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you wrote this

"One day at a time

This was huge for me. I’d be nearing deadlines for my goals and would realize I’m not about to reach them so… eh, what the heck, just go all out. I would realize I won’t lose 10 pounds before summer, so theres no harm in eating bad food right? I wouldn’t finish this project in time anyway, so why not just chill out and do it later? These are awful realizations that are detrimental to your goals.

I realized something that had HUGE implications. When you chose to eat well, it shouldn’t be for some not so distant outcome of an 8 pack so everyone could hi-five you. For those of you who are spiritually-minded, you eat right because you recognize that your body is sacred because God dwells within. For those of you who arn’t spiritually-minded, you should eat right because you want to live! It feels good to be healthy and eat right. So every day, ask yourself this: “Today and today only, did I live the way I want to?”. In other words, were your actions in line with your Center, with your highest Self?

Today I will work out because it feels good. Today, I will eat healthy, because I want my body to be at it’s best. Today I will work on my passions, because life is too short to do otherwise. Today, I will accomplish something, because I believe in making myself a better person. Tomorrow I will too. After that? Who knows. One day at a time.

Give. Love. Serve. Meditate.

Mack


you say to take it one day at a time but I find myself constantly giving up the whole day on that one thing because i didnt do it exactly as planned, like if I have a workout and I dont get all of it done and just do a little im sitting their like fuck ill do it right tomorrow. I think Ive done this for most of my life and cant seem to turn that way of thinking off

the way u say if u dont reach a goal of 30 days, then just go day by day what if that becomes a problem or already is

It sounds like you need to change your opinion of your goals and not the goals themselves.

Your work outs for example... Do they feel like a chore, or do you love doing them? You started the, you suffered through the first bits, why quit now? When you just started you wont get in better shape, but if you complete the work out progressively you will. Why not push til the end to get the result?

Also, why need results? Why dont you just love what you do? When an artist paints a piece, it isnt the ending that's the most fun, its the minutes and minutes of detail put into making the painting awesome. It would be like cuming right at the start of sex and being satisfied... It makes no sense!

When I say day by day, I mean FEEL GOOD every day. When you wake up and you meditate every single day, you feel GOOD. When you eat healthy and work out, you feel GOOD. When you build your dreams and passions, you feel GOOD.

You see things as a chore and so they weigh on your shoulders. Why pressure yourself like that?

Mack
Centered Man Project

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I think maybe thats the problem with most guys with pua ideas. everything they do to try and improove themselves is gonna feel like a chore. alright maybe im just being to hard on myself, make everyday fun. the best part of working out isnt the workout its that moment afterwards when you think your gonna die and suddenly the air feels different, you feel every part of your body and your mind just goes blank, like being reborn.

focus on the fun ignore the chore -Ill try that and report back in a week to this post