The Centered Man Manifesto: Defining Your Identity



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2014 10:14 pm 
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Quote:
You need to know exactly what you want, what you expect out of life, how you expect others to treat you, etc.

To live a life of purpose, to wake up with drive, to greet the day with excitement, you need to have a clearly defined outcome of what you want the end product of your life to look like.
I don't know what I want to do with my life since I was 15 years-old. It has been over 13 years I look for myself. Ten years of passivity, greed, depression and bullshit. Ten years of boring days, waiting near the clock, waiting for the final slaughterhouse!

The only question I have for you is the one you can't answer : What should I do with my life? What should I do in this pointless universe, doomed since the beginning of time. I can merge science, life and astrophysic together; I only can get one thing out of it. Reality is what I make of it. My reality is my point of view. Universe is a hologram, life is the ultimate luck, making consciouness out of the third generation of matter.

Now what? Life has no point... Universe has no point. I have no point. The only goal it has is the one I will give to it. It's magnificent in some way of looking at it... and life is so short the destination can't be the goal. The goal must be the road. I can't find anything I love to do, anything that gets me to be process oriented.
Then you should write to me and we can figure it out together.

Love
Mack

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 10:30 pm 
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Be Courageous in Living a Life that Honours your Values

… No matter how many people hate you for it.

What do you value? What do you consider important? What do you live for?

You’ve lost your direction.

There was a time where men would sit around a fire and discuss. They used to think, ponder and dream. This gave birth to passion, art and drive.

Now we distract ourselves endlessly. We jump from the television, to the computer, to the tablets. Where is the pause? Where is the time you’ve allocated to yourself?

I decided to date myself

And it changed my life.

One day I just decided that I had no plans and I will not seek to distract myself by making some. I simply went on a date with myself. I spent time with my thoughts.

When you hate yourself, spending time alone is a scary thing. When you know yourself and your place in the world, spending time alone is akin to blissing out.

But I digress

Your values should be impregnable. Once you decide what your values are – what you live for, what you expect from the people around you and most importantly, what you expect from yourself, your confidence becomes unshakable.

Most people don’t know this – confidence is rooted in self-acceptance. You don’t go and gain confidence and with it the strength to draw boundaries. It’s the opposite; draw boundaries and confidence comes of it’s own accord.

People will laugh...

And hate you, and judge you, but they won’t know why. It is because they respect you.

You no longer live at the mercy of others, you no longer live by other people’s values and expectations.

I realized that there are 3 questions to ask at the end of each day: Did I behave like a man? Did I act in line with my values? And Did I go after what I wanted with no fear and no apology? Anything else is out of your control and therefore, out of your concern.

You set your own path, have the courage to follow it.

Your fan,
TheMack

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:57 am 
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Ah the new year! A fresh start, a second chance. There’s something magically cleansing about the new year.

This year, I want to challenge you. Yes, you heard me. Have no other new years resolution but this one.

I challenge you to ask

“80% of life is just showing up” – Woody Allen

This year, have the courage to ask for what you really want from life. Ask for the promotion, ask for the dream job, even though you might not be qualified. Ask that beautiful girl out, ask for a kiss – even though you think she’s out of your league. Ask for an adventure, ask for something better – even though you might not be ready. Ask for more from yourself, ask to live at a higher standard – even though you might be afraid.

It takes courage to ask, which is why no one does. There’s always a reason, an excuse, a rationalization… If not now, when?

Stop playing it small, you’ve been asleep far too long.

Happy New Year!

Your fan,
Mack

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:08 am 
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Mack your posts are so motivating. They get me all fired up. I think you should write a book, if you're not doing it already.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2015 12:07 am 
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Mack your posts are so motivating. They get me all fired up. I think you should write a book, if you're not doing it already.
http://www.cliffslist.com has my free ebook.

Second, third, fourth and fifth are in production now. You can keep in touch with their development here: http://www.centeredmanproject.com

Please excuse the blatant promotion. I'm here to help... If you want more, go to the sites. That's it for now.

Love and respect
Mack

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 5:01 pm 
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We all have a path. It’s not obvious to everyone at first, but exploration and sincere self-assessment makes it clear.

Years ago, before I ever began to see the world this way, I had an encounter with a hero of mine. He said something to me that day that I will never forget: “All men are faced with two choices: We can either be dragged kicking and screaming against our will, or we can be pulled by a compelling vision”.

Respond to life

Most people react to life, the do not respond. There is a Zen concept that in life, when you find yourself faced with the same problems over and over, it is actually you who are causing them because you haven’t yet learned the lesson you were meant to take away from it. Dunno how much I believe that but it’s an interesting way to look at it.

Walking your path

I am learning to discover who I am and what my place is in the world. That is what walking your path is. There’s no real destination. You set goals and milestones and you reach them and all of a sudden there’s more to reach. The fundamental masculine desire is loss of self. It’s comfort, but at the same time, it would be our end. I guess what I’m trying to say in this 5 am rambling is that to walk your path, you need to know where you’re going but at the same time understand that you will never get there and accept it. Atlas carries the world on his shoulders without a word of complaint. It is the most beautiful embodiment of the masculine duty. It is the deepest form of courage to see the approaching pain, suffering and frustration on the horizon and know that it must be done, so I might as well smile about it.

The journey is the destination. That’s why adventures are so fulfilling – it makes this journey an experience in and of itself.

Renunciation

It is the act of searching. No one can own you when you know who you are, and in order to find out, you have to create that space. You have to shut out the world and turn inward until all influences are drowned out in the great roar that is your true Self.

Walking your path and renunciation are the same thing. It isn’t so much retreating from the world, it’s creating the space necessary to see yourself and settle on the direction you want your life to go in. To use the Buddha’s analogy, when a lake’s surface is windy, the water is rippled and it becomes difficult to see your reflection. When the wind settles though, you see clearly. In order to do be able to do so, you must renounce and walk your own path.

Rambling over.

Your fan,
Mack

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2015 9:06 pm 
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“How do I know this to be true? By looking inside myself” – Lao Tzu

This is quickly becoming one of my favourite quotes.

In my email newsletters (which you should sign up for), I talk about creating space. Really it’s such a fascinating subject to explore because its’ pretty much the first step to any journey of true self-discovery.

Thing is, there are entire industries devoted to providing the solutions to our problems. Don’t like yourself? Change it with this product! Something wrong with your face? Why don’t you go under the knife! Got some fat on your belly? Buy these diet pills!

I can go on and on but you get the point… Creating space is something sacred. It’s an almost spiritual practice in which you ceremoniously and literally shut out the noise and look inside yourself. I’ll write an entire post (or book) about creating space, but when that does eventually happen, what do you hear? When all the noise is gone and all that’s left is you, facing you. What do you hear?

Doubt

For every decision you will have to make, you will encounter thousands of reasons not to make it. For every challenge you face, you will hear a plethora of voices telling you you just won’t make it. Every goal you set, every fear you face, every comfort zone you expand, that voice will be there.

Here’s the fun part that no one ever told you: Listening to that voice is a waste of energy.

Pure and simple.

Look, when you set a goal, when you set your mind on something – be it the cute woman across the street or to start your very own interactive cinnamon role business – fear is going to be creeping right around the corner. Fear, coupled with anxiety, and doubt and a slew of other uncomfortable feelings. You can find yourself tuning into those voices and immediately dropping those goals you set not so long earlier.

However, here’s the kicker: No amount of anxiety will make any difference whatsoever.

That’s an Alan Watts reference by the way. From the first standpoint, whenever you start to doubt yourself, remember that the worst will happen. Not because of your doubt, but the worst will happen regardless. You are going to die. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some point you will die. Now that we’ve accepted the inevitable… What the hell difference does it make if you fail or not as long as you at least try?

Recognizing your own mortality is the first step to living fully. Your doubts creep in because you are not living fully.

Yes, the great men you admire had doubts, yes they had fears, yes they had anxieties, but they knew that those emotions had no place in their reality – none.

Remember; doubting yourself will make no difference – you’re already dead. Turn your attention away from the reasons why not and focus on what you want. Become fanatically committed to your vision and you can’t not be successful!

With love and respect,
Mack

- See more at: http://centeredmanproject.com/a-mans-tr ... -is-doubt/

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 29, 2015 7:29 pm 
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I’m going to go ahead and make a bold claim: Most men do not love women. Your friends do not love women. You yourself, do not love women.

You’re thinking “well of course I do… What do you know?!”.

Think of the last time you were with your friends at a restaurant and a stunning waitress showed up to take your order. Notice how your friends, who were just seconds ago loud and outgoing and funny, have quietened and straightened their backs a little. Notice the tension in your own body (we’ll get to that in a minute) and how you have become just as constricted as your friends. You all place your orders and, the second she turns around, you smile knowingly to each other and cannot stop talking about how hot she is.

Where is the fun in that?

Notice how you feel when you see a beautiful woman. I don’t mean some artificial photoshoped woman that you keep in a folder on your computer – I’m talking about someone that truly inspires you, a woman so incredible, for whatever reason, that you simply feel awake in her presence. Her laughter is enough to make you feel alive. Think back at the last time you’ve felt that. Now, what happened? Did you sneak a peak at her curves and then look away in shame when you felt her gaze on you? Or did you look defiantly into her eyes and smile, sharing an intimate moment of appreciation with her?

Learn to love women

Notice your body. If you are like most men, when you see a beautiful woman, your body releases a flutter of emotions that overwhelms you. However, within 3 seconds, your mind kicks in and anxiety shoots through your body. The emotions that moved through your body and opened you up are now retreating and your body begins to feel constricted. There’s a pressure in the pit of your stomach and the area around your chest feels like someone is pressing down on it. You’ve felt this – vividly and repeatedly. You can call it whatever you want but it is there because of your own lack of love.

Where there is love, there can be no fear

You feel that way because you do not truly love women. You do not truly love women because you don’t allow yourself to.

You do not love women so much as you love your self-image. In other words, you would rather look cool and blazé than actually go over there and make her feel beautiful. You do not love women so much as you value you the opinion of others, because God forbid they should know that you are attracted to women. You do not love women so much as you would rather listen to the lies you’ve been told about needing to look a certain way or have a certain amount of money to be “good enough” for women. That is why your anxiety kicks in. It’s because you have made yourself, your fears and your beliefs an integral part of an equation you have no part in.

Women are my meditation

Have you ever shared a moment so deep with a woman, that the environment melted away? I always know I have a genuine connection with a woman, ‘chemistry’ so to speak, by looking in her eyes. If the environment stops existing, if I’m unable to describe our surroundings nor recall our conversation, that’s when I know. If all I can remember is her eyes, then I know. Have you ever felt something like that?

In order to reach that kind of connection with a woman, you must first shed. You must shed your self-image – nothing to protect, nothing to build. You must shed your fears, your anxieties, your fears. You must shed your story of past failures and past successes. You must shed your desires for anything in return. Finally, you must shed your thoughts, so that all that’s left is your gleaming presence – here, with her, now, with no desire to conquer or retreat.

So I’ll ask you; do you truly love women? Have you ever allowed yourself to truly surrender to that overwhelming feeling you get when you see women? Are you willing to make them feel special, regardless of who is watching and with no desire to acquire and horde? Are you able to remain lovingly present, even if everyone else loves you for it?

“You have mastered women and the world when no desire either to avoid or attain sways your loving or limits your freedom.” – David Deida

Your fan,
Mack

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2015 6:05 pm 
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Presence is your greatest gift

I don’t have much money. I don’t have a fancy car. I don’t have a six pack or a puppy or whatever else is misconstrued as value today. If I were caught up in the ego game of materialism, I wouldn’t quite have anything to offer anyone… Except that I have the greatest gift of all.

What is Presence?

You are sitting at home comfortably, watching the game with a beer after a long day. Your woman comes home furious over something that happened with her friends at work. You can see her distress by the way she paces anxiously around the room. She finally sits down and asks you to turn off the TV. You sigh, mute the game and feign interest. She goes on and on as you catch glimpses of the score from the corner of your eye. Eventually, she becomes exacerbated and increasingly angrier at your lack of attention, so you decide to try and give her your best advice, solve her problem and then get back to the game. She doesn’t wanna hear it… Women are crazy!

Be there with her

She doesn’t want you to solve her problems. She doesn’t even need you to. All she’s asking for is your presence. In other words, she wants you to be there, energetically, with her. She wants to experience life with you. This is a difficult concept to understand but once you do, it will change your relationships; It means being fully aware and completely empty at the same time. Sort of like a painter with a blank canvas. Be her blank canvas. Live through her chaos with no preconceived notions, no judgment, not desire to fix, solve or explain things logically. Just be.

Presence is your greatest gift

A man’s greatest gift is his presence. When a man gives the gift of his presence to a woman – his undivided, non-judging, open, loving and firm attention, it is how she experiences his strengths and his vulnerabilities. When a man gives the gift of his presence to his friends, he is there, fully with them and at ease, free of distractions, it is how the truest bonds are formed. When a father gives the gift of his presence to his children, he provides them with the open yet firm support to grow and flourish.

Indeed, masculine presence is like the stick in the dirt that provides the support for the tree to grow. It is not controlling, it is simply there to be and guide. True presence is what brings out the best in others – what allows people to truly be their best selves. The sheer strength of their presence is enough to give them the signal that it’s okay to be, just as you are being.

How to practice Presence

Mindfulness is the key. Perhaps the subject of an entire other post but mindfulness basically paves the way for presence. When you focus only on what is happening in the current moment, your presence grows stronger. Those around you will be able to literally feel your level of presence. That is where amazing connections are formed.

Give your full and total attention to everything you perform – always be aware of your body, what is going on within and what is going on without. Eventually, you will notice a peace just below the surface. Once that happens, shift your focuse to that peace – no judgments, no anger, no fears, no desires, no agendas – just pure you. Live in that peace.

I don’t have much to give, but I will give my presence… That is usually enough.

Your fan,
Mack

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 1:59 am 
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This in itself might be one of the single greatest pieces of the puzzle.

Remove the negatives

If I sat you down and asked you what you want, what would you answer? I’ve noticed that most people have no clue how to answer, because they simply never sat down to think about it.

If I asked you what you don’t want however, I’m certain most people can talk for hours about all the things that are not going well for them, all the ways in which their life is not going according to plan.

Don’t you see where the problem lies?

Focus on what you want

This is the one sentence I will repeat the most, to others and even myself. It’s not possible to remain upbeat and motivated all the time. It’s normal to be down some days, and have some less than ideal encounters, and that’s completely fine!

The problem arises when it becomes chronic – in other words, when you spend more time focusing on what you don’t want rather than on what you want.

Start by paying attention to your self-talk, daily. How often do you talk down to yourself? How often do you roll your eyes when a woman won’t return your phone calls and whisper to yourself “Of course…” and don’t brush this exercise off. Most people do. They do because it’s easier to remain a victim than to actually brush the dust off and do whatever it takes to make their success happen.

You are not your story

This was a huge realization for me. Everything you think you are, all your previous successes, your previous failures, your prides and embarrassments, your victories and defeats, your cowering and your courage – all of it – is just a story you keep repeating to yourself. It doesn’t exist in objective reality. It’s just a story that you keep telling over and over and so it controls your life, but when you recognize illusion for what it is, it no longer carries any weight nor has the power to affect your life.

Whatever your past failures, they do not define you. Have the courage to dream big, to reach for what you truly want and not for what’s good enough.

Where is it?

Where is this concept of your self when you aren’t thinking it into existence? It’s simply not there.

Nobody was ever cut from a different cloth. No one is “special” so to speak – and that’s perfectly fine. Don’t focus on those you think are better than you. Stop rationalizing and finding reasons to validate your own lack of action. Just shift your focus towards where you want to be, and away from what you don’t want.

There is no greater secret to living a rich and incredible life: Wake up thankful, alive and invigorated. Breathe in the intense beauty that is another day on earth, put on your shoes, get out the door, and chase after the things you want. Dive head first, with no second guessing, no doubts, no fears – just pure trust in the way things will work out.

“Letting go is basically saying to the universe ‘let’s see what you’ll do next’” – Alan Watts

Your fan,
Mack

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 4:18 pm 
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I was at a bar when I noticed a woman so beautiful she completely overwhelmed me. She had dirty blond hair, was wearing a white loose-fitted sleeveless shirt, tight jeans and heels. More so, she carried herself with a quiet confidence, like she knew exactly what to do to charm a room. It’s true what they say… Nothing beautiful asks for attention.

My friend was talking to me. I can’t remember what she was saying. My eyes kept darting between my friend and the stunner leaning against the bar, surrounded by her friends. I couldn’t hold myself any longer. I told my friend to wait a moment, and I felt my legs carry me across the room.

Lay yourself bare

This goes for all aspects of your life. If you truly know who you are, you come face to face with your weaknesses.

Don’t panic – we all have them. The only difference is most people will spend an insane amount of effort to try to conceal those weaknesses from the world, and more worryingly, from themselves. The problem with this is that it creates more barriers, more walls between themselves and others, thus furthering the chasm that separates them from something real.

However, when you fully come to terms with with those weaknesses, you come to realize that they maybe aren’t so bad after all. When that happens, your self image collapses – there’s nothing left to cling to, nothing to defend so to speak. What do you have to lose by taking any action? Make no mistake though, this is not a call for laziness, it’s the opposite; if you have nothing left to loose, what’s stopping you from getting the hell out there and running that marathon? What’s stopping you from crossing the street to speak to that beautiful woman? What’s stopping you from starting a business and living life on your terms?

Stop clinging

I walked across the room to that gorgeous woman by the bar, past her friends, planted my feet in front of her, looked her deep in the eyes and said “I’m trying to talk to my friend and I can’t focus – I can’t take my eyes off you”. She looked shocked at first, her friends quieted down and just stared. Then she smiled and started to talk. She told me she had a boyfriend but can’t believe what I just did. She said no one has ever been so honest with her before. She was so genuinely impressed that a man had the guts to put himself fully on the line like that. That says something either about the boredom of women or at how hard my gender has dropped the ball.

I have nothing to cling to, nothing to defend and through my vulnerability, I am the strongest I’ve ever been.

Your fan,
Mack

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2015 12:04 am 
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This in itself might serve as a manifesto to self-acceptance.

Stop Dicking Around

Let’s be real here – everyone has flaws. Everyone.

Think of your excuses – every one you’ve ever made ever. Think of the reasons you aren’t living the life you want to live, think of the reasons you hesitate to go after what you want, think of every time you made an excuse for your failures. Think long and hard.

You must have a pretty impressive list.

Come into your own

What do you have to be ashamed of, I mean really? We all have strengths, we all have weaknesses. This becomes a problem only when you make an identity out of it.

In my years in both the dating and self-development industries, I’ve noticed a pattern with many people there. There’s a segment that just started out, another segment that is just kind of curious but not enough to commit, another segment that gets results and then moves on (about 1%) and then a very curious segment – one that refuses to leave. You’ll see guys that have been there for like 7 years and still have seen no success to speak of.

That’s because these people have made an identity out of being someone who needs help. And so, they stay for years and years, devouring all kinds of information and indulging in all kinds of products, still looking for that missing piece that will give them what they truly want.

F**k that noise

Seriously, the only piece you need is to find your purpose, find yourself so to speak.

I know what you’re saying – easier said than done… Well, sure, and doing so will pretty much ensure that you have to face all those scary demons you’ve been hiding from for years. But the payoff is huge. If you drag yourself through the mud, you come out the other end a Goliath.

Own who you are

That is and has always been the final door you have to go through.

Ask yourself this; where is your shame? Find it and own it.

I once saw a one-handed overweight guy dating what was one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life. Not that the epitome of achievement is having a pretty girl on your arm, but the odds are kind of against him. The guy was a real sweetheart too – not a shred of pride or ego in him. He was just a cool, down to earth guy.

When you own who you are fully, you have no shame left, nothing left to stop you from achieving your goals.

I get emails all the time with people asking me to dictate their values to them. I’m all for helping people but what business is it of mine if you watch porn or not? I don’t care if you want to steal someone’s girlfriend. I don’t want to know what is right and wrong to you. Not because I’m an asshole, but because if you can’t set your own values, what kind of a man does that make you?

Look, all I’m trying to say is, nobody is perfect, so stop trying to be. Instead, just accept yourself fully – your strengths, weaknesses, desires, shames – everything! You like that girl over there? Own it! Walk right over and introduce yourself. You want to ditch everything and change the world? Own it! Quit your job, pack up your things and get to it. You want to spend you time partying like Dan Bilzerian? I guess that’s fine, but it doesn’t matter what I think – own it!

People will judge you no matter what, but when you reach the point when you realize just how ridiculous it is to spend your entire existence trapped in other people’s values, you break free and become a lion.

Your choice… Lion or sheep.

Your fan,
Mack

- See more at: http://centeredmanproject.com/

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 6:02 pm 
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Stop Trying To Get Better With Women!

I’ve been getting a lot of emails these days concerning how to get better with women. If it hasn’t been clear so far, I don’t teach ‘pick up’. In fact, I’m completely uninterested in pick up. My focus is on your relationship between you and yourself. Once that is handled, everything else falls into place.

I use seduction as an analogy very often, yes, but for one simple reason: What does it say about a man if he is not willing to cross the street to talk to a woman who blew him away? How on earth will you stand up for what you believe in if you can’t bring yourself to cross the street to talk to a beautiful woman. How are you to build a better life for you and the people you love if you aren’t even willing to cross the street to talk to the woman who may just be the person you were looking for?

Talking to women is no big deal. In fact, talking to anyone is no big deal. People are cool, fun and generally really interesting. But if you are too afraid to take 3 steps in one direction, you have some reassessing to do.

Women are not a theoretical concept

Stop. Just stop

I’m not going to tell you how to get better with women, because ‘women’ is an immaterial concept. You’re talking about 4 billion individuals on the planet.

Furthermore, to make the assumption that a kink here and an adjustment there will finally make you good enough is ridiculous. It’s an assumption that turns women into a robot, something mechanical, almost a video game.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making an argument about objectification here. I’m saying that if you lump all women into one mechanical concept, change this, add that, and then see what happens, you’re going to end up just as alone as you were in the first place. Why? Because you are ignoring that every single individual on the planet (both men and women) are the sum totals of their past experiences, and as such, respond to very different things.

One woman will absolutely fall head over heels for you, for no other reason than you not giving her the attention she craves. Another will absolutely hate you for the very same thing. Women aren’t crazy – you are… For thinking that they are a concept that could be understood then mastered.

Become good with people

This is the only real path you should embark on. Don’t try to get better with women – try to get better with people.

Wanna know the best part? Becoming better with people is deceptively simple. It’s so simple in fact that if you understood it fully, all of these self-development companies would go out of business overnight.

Find what you are looking for

Shut up.

That’s really all there is to it. You never learn anything from talking. However, if you just shut your mouth and stop trying to prove yourself to women, to your friends, to strangers. If you just shut up and stop trying, you will find soon enough that there is nothing you really need to do but allow others to be themselves around you. You become infinitely more charming by providing a space for others to express themselves freely and without judgment. You become infinitely more charming by staying silent and letting others be heard.

Becoming good with people is that simple and by extension, you become good with women as well. Who would’ve thought?

Look, if you’re too lazy to read all everything above, understand this: Stop giving yourself so much attention. Stop trying to get something from the world. Whatever you feel the world is withholding from you, give in abundance. Get the hell out there and give love to all, make them feel heard, appreciated and important around you. You will soon find yourself living an incredible life, surrounded by the women of your dreams and incredible interesting and kind people. Isn’t that a good trade off?

All you need to do is stop trying.

Your fan,
Mack

- See more at: http://centeredmanproject.com/

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2015 2:57 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 322
Location: Where the sun meets the sky
“The awakened sages call a person wise when all his undertakings are free from anxiety about results” – Bhagavad Gita [4:19]

I noticed that many people are having difficulty with this. I don’t blame them – our entire way of living is structured around a dependency on results as a tool to place ourselves.

Wait… What?

Think about it. We go to school so that we can get grades that will put us at an advantage over others. “Oh I’m above the average? Okay I’m safe”. Cool.

We brag about the women we have ‘conquered’ and calculate the notches on our belts so that we can earn that sweet hi-five from our friends. Our egos are satisfied – I can’t be a loser if I’ve slept with THIS MANY women. All those women don’t think I’m a loser. Ask them.

We strive for that promotion, we work hard for it. We hate our jobs and feel like we are wasting away, and yet we sacrifice our passions, our loved ones and time for that promotion. We want it, badly. Why? So that our boss could notice. Good doggy.

What if it didn’t matter?

What if I told you that none of this actually matters. What if I were to sit you down and explain to you that nothing you do is in any was as big a deal as your mind makes it out to be? I mean seriously, sit down and consider it. 10 billion years from now, will any of this really matter? You are one out of 7 billion people, in a tiny solar system in the vastness of space that holds billions (trillions?) of planets.

So what do I do?

“A dream is only real while we experience it… Can’t the same be said about life?” – Henry Havelock Ellis

You see, when I tell people to just let go, the first thing that comes to mind is “okay, so I just sit around and do nothing?”

No! Quite the opposite actually. Take action – all the time, non-stop. Why? Because nothing works in the world if you don’t. You might not realize it but you have a part to play in this universe. Just as the clouds rain water that nourishes the world, which in turn produces plants, which in turn produce air so that we can breathe, you are a part of the puzzle and inaction is beneath you.

However, when you do act, make sure it comes from a place of duty. Like I said, you have a part to play in this world, and your actions determine how great or how small that part is. Anxiety though, arises when you are attached to the results of your actions.

That’s the most difficult part to swallow but the ramifications are awesome. By not being attached to results, victory or defeat has no effect on your sense of self. Your confidence becomes impregnable – how could it not? You act because you must, but you surrender and understand that everything plays out as it should, and so just like that, you’re no longer worried about anything. If something doesn’t work out – that’s fine, it’s not the end of the world. If it does – that’s fine too, it’s meant to happen. You’re no longer emotionally involved in what happens to you and you no longer lose your zest and drive. What could be better than that?

“Better than mechanical practice is meditation, but better still is surrender of attachment to results for there follows immediate peace”. – Bhagavad Gita

Immediate peace.

Your fan,
Mack

- See more at: http://centeredmanproject.com

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE ;) --> http://centeredmanproject.com/


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2015 9:08 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 pm
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Location: Where the sun meets the sky
A Man Concerns Himself With Depth

There’s a special category of questions that I dislike intensely. Don’t get me wrong, I am truly humbled to have the opportunity to inspire you on your journey, sincerely. What I don’t like, however, are cheap, surface-level questions.

Examples you ask?

“How do I seem not needy when speaking to women?”

“How do I come off as confident in social situations?”

“How can I look like I am more alpha?”

Ugh. I cringe internally.

If you’ve found yourself asking these questions, both aloud or to yourself, don’t worry – you’re not alone. These questions get asked remarkably often, and that’s just the problem. We live in a culture that relies solely on the surface to get by. As long as we look pretty, everything is okay. As long as we seem to be in control, it’s alright.

But if your goal is to evolve (and it should be), then you know that this type of question is not going to lead you down a journey of self-discovery. It will only serve to band-aid the issues you need to operate on.

Get your scalpel

Seriously. Sit down and take a long hard look at your life. Everything that has happened to you and keeps happening to you. Do you constantly settle for a relationship that isn’t beneficial to you? Do you often find yourself unhappy, alone and unwanted? Do you constantly hit the same road blocks over and over and not know why?

It’s okay – there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Now think… What’s the common advice given these days when you hit a road bump?

“Girl isn’t calling you back and you’re feeling needy? Go and gather 10 more phone numbers” Yeah great. And when they don’t call back what happens then?

“You’re feeling depressed and confused? No problem. Fake it ’til you make it” Now that’s brilliant.

Concern yourself with depth

You can either remain on the surface, in a constant loop of want – disappointment – want – disappointment. Or you can finally get down to the depths of your issues and find out what’s really going on.

Look, what I’m saying is, don’t worry about how you seem. That invariable relies on other people’s perceptions of you. What you’re asking me is “How can I make sure other people see me as not needy/alpha/confident etc” and my answer to you is; I cant.

Stop worrying about controlling other people’s perceptions of you. Stop taking responsibility for stuff you cannot control.

Instead of worrying about seeming needy, or appearing to be confident, why not focus on eliminating your neediness to begin with? Why not focus on being confident?

That’s the fun part; once you eliminate neediness, you no longer have to worry. Only needy people worry about seeming needy.

You will find yourself living a much richer life if you focused on the depth, if you worried not about how people see you, or how to get the quick and easy fixes, but instead worked tirelessly to improve yourself in every way and leave behind your incredible unique gift to the world.

Never surrender to mediocrity.

Your fan,
Mack

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