Body Language the key to Natural Game



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PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 2:28 am 
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You've given a lot of examples of signs that a girl is shy, however, I'm not sure as to how to use that information. Is her shyness good´, bad or neutral to my chances of picking her up? Is it only something that we use in order to calibrate our game towards her, and how do we do that?

You've also talked a lot about the importance of knowing when to get out. However, why is this? The way I see it, when I leave a set (as long as I'm not making a false takeaway), it's definitely lost. Therefore, I can not lose it any more, so to say, by staying when you may have said that I should have left. The only reasons to get out that I can see (at the moment, there are probably more reasons) are to save face (both for personal reasons and for advertising purposes towards other sets in the area), to find a better investment of your time (i.e. get into a more promising set) or to make that false takeaway and get a second try later on. Any thoughts on this would be much appreciated.
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Watching What They are Doing- Sometimes a girl will pay far to close of attention to something she already knows how to do naturally. Sometimes it will be followed by preening this most of the time is accompanied by a lot of eye contact.
I don't think I understand exactly what you mean in this paragraph. Is it for example when a girl puts a lot of effort into how she takes a sip of wine when she knows you're watching?

I would be much interested in following your blog if you start one. Please let me know if you do. I've litterally spent hours tonight reading your posts (I've said so in two separate posts tonight, and there's been hours between them. Hours which I've spent reading more of your posts), and they've given me so much knowledge and so much insight. I really can't begn to tell you how much I appreciate it, and I definitely think you could make money out of this if you wanted to.

Thank you so much.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 8:06 am 
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Shy Girls

I discussed shy girls specifically because shy girls are the girls you run into most often. People in general are shy. We all tend to submit before strangers, freeze up, become timid, or shy. Most of us are on this website because we want to stop being so shy and learn to talk to girls.

Shy girls are just shy girls. Shyness is neutral, it just requires a little more effort in making them comfortable with you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with them. They just need to be made comfortable because of their fear of social interaction. Most of the time we might think they are negative signals but really all they are is shy. It is very good to know that she is shy, rather than not like you. There is nothing wrong with continuing this conversation, just realize she is probably shy and you will have to bring her out of her shell.

You will have to figure out ways to build rapport shy girls, there are several rapport techniques you can use. Complimenting them is one of the things I do to build comfort, just make it something noticeable, pay attention to the details. Compliment a feature on the item saying "nice earrings" isn't nearly as effective as "smooth earrings I love green it is my favorite color"(used this one last week, green is my favorite color). I build instant a likeness factor with that one statement.

Change it up- Don't leave

Honestly, once you are good enough with girls you shouldn't ever need to leave unless you truly want to. I say this for people who have a ways to go in learning to be good with people/girls, if they are that scared and nervous they may need to leave to recoup. Once you get solid enough leaving will be strictly on your terms. It would take a lot for me to have to leave a conversation. I have a harder time getting out of a conversation than in one.

The reason I say save face is when you have done something that has truly offended them you obviously need to know. In most cases you should just be able to change the subject or say "I am sorry I joke about everything"(this is what I normally do anyways also true). Really when I say save face in most cases it literally only means to change it up, you are losing their attention. Once in a while it is absolutely necessary to leave but this will become a rare occurrence with experience, time, and practice.

Watching What they are Doing

When I say watching what they are doing I mean they are paying a lot of attention to something in an effort to hide themselves. It is a sign of submission because they are hiding behind their activity. Someone who watches their toes while they walk, that is unrealistic, most people have been walking for 20+ years(in bars). Or maybe they are a bit over focused on taking a drink or eating. Basically they are submitting by hiding behind an activity. Most of the time they will show other submissive signals(tipping her head, moving eyes down, looking up with her head down, etc.). A girl will pay really close attention to how she is opening a door or unlocking her car. Hiding behind the activity would be a better way to say it. Does that make a little more sense?

Thanks for the love man, it is nice that you are getting so much out of this. At least I know I am helping people rather than just spouting off.

If I get some more votes for a blog I will get started on a website. I didn't think I would get this much love for this thread but that is down right awesome. I seem to only have you and Adonis interested in it. I have put some thought into it though.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 8:27 am 
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Thanks for elaborating. And yeah, it all makes sense. When it comes to blog interest, my experience is that for everyone who actively expresses an interest, there's a bunch who are just as interested but just don't find the reply button. I think you'd find a good reader base pretty quickly.

Content is king, and you've got it!

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 6:54 pm 
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When you spoke about the blog you said you will write real life examples of what happened and will elaborate on them. If thats the case I would say yes. If not then thread is great enought for the info :)


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:18 am 
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Quote:
When you spoke about the blog you said you will write real life examples of what happened and will elaborate on them. If thats the case I would say yes. If not then thread is great enought for the info :)
Ok guys, if you guys think it will be worth it I will get one started. I will probably only write blog 2-3 times a week. This will be my first blog so bare with me until I find a style for it.

Anyone else want one?

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2010 2:00 am 
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I wrote a blog guys. Not really sure about this thing, I have never wrote one before. Tell me what you guys want out of it or if I should change anything.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2010 10:32 am 
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I like it so far, it will be interesting to read a few of your field reports. However, you should really use the blog technology with feeds and the option to comment on each post. Try to see if you can find some blog software that you can incorporate on your site or just use Wordpress and make your domain name point towards your wordpress blog.

It's much easier to get things going by themselves if you use the blog format than if you "simulate" a blog on your own. Do this now, before you've built too much upon your site, making it too big of a project.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:46 pm 
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Yea its a great post one of the few posts I really follow on this forum


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 8:35 pm 
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Can you do group body language?

How to associate the alpha and others feelings towards him?

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 9:33 pm 
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Quote:
Can you do group body language?

How to associate the alpha and others feelings towards him?
What do you mean? Break down an entire group and know who is the alpha? How the group feels about the alpha?

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 3:47 pm 
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I guess he means something like how to read the dynamics of a group based on their body language?

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:33 pm 
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Look for Demeanor

When it comes to figuring out the alpha of any group just look at his demeanor. He will likely have his shoulders out(this is normally the easiest to see) and his chin up. A careless attitude so to speak. They will hold themselves with obvious confidence. They normally have a solid wide stance with their toes pointed slightly outward. They will likely not show any obvious body language that they are attracted to anyone(until courtship is in full swing), if they have to try to hard for attention most of the time they reveal themselves as AFCs. A guy that feels threatened when you come around is generally not a true alpha, just an insecure individual who is not satisfied with the situation.

In most cases if he is the center of attention the body language of the group will show that. They will have their toes pointed towards him(especially the girls), the group in general will be giving him their attention(body language will be open to the Alpha). In some cases some of the other males who aren't familiar with the individual will shy away from the person, their torso, face, and body will point away in an attempt to not confront the threatening individual, they are taking away attention from them.

If you want to see who your target is interested in(if it isn't you) than you can observe her body language to see who/what she is interested in. Generally you can tell without thinking who is attracted to who when you get a good understanding of body language. There has actually been girls who were attracted to me by joking around with the guy they are interested in and then she began to show a strong attraction to me.

Basically look to identify the dominant body language traits of any alpha. They should stand with confidence and get a lot of attention. They will usually have a smile if they are true Alphas and open body language. Look for obvious signs of confident body language, I am sure you can identify that with a little more practice.

Alpha

For me there really are two different kinds of Alpha, a true Alpha who is secure and confident. You can joke with them they have a lot of fun and are seriously not worried about anything completely confident in all they do. Than you have the faux Alpha, this guy is a big guy, physically dominant and tends to impose his will with sheer force. To me these guys are insecure, they seem to need to prove who they are to you(not Alpha to me). You can also come across the smaller LMS(little man syndrome) who has the same concepts of the faux Alpha.

I tend to look for the guy that is faux Alpha a lot of times because they are the ones who end up most threatened by you. When you walk up they tend to straighten up because they need to it isn't natural for them to be Alpha. They tend to show that they are Alpha but their insecurities prove otherwise. These guys tend to be a lot more territorial, they take up more space(they are physically dominant Alphas). Their arms and stance should be relatively wide. I had a guy pull away a girl the other night on me, he liked the girl, and she was starting to be far more interested in me(Blog it later). His stance was Alpha, his style(hair, clothes, accessories, and shoes), and his shoulders were, his attitude, body language, and insecurities proved otherwise. This was a faux Alpha. He didn't find any logical reason to pull her away, she was obviously just a friend that he was interested in.

Nothing Changes in Groups

Just because they are in a group doesn't mean that the body language rules changes, the difference is that the body language should be a little more directed to the Alpha or the dominant character in the group, sometimes that is the girl. If the group doesn't like them they tend to shy away, their body language will exclude them. In some cases there will be a foot in front of them if they are standing so that he can't enter the conversation or group. When sitting down the neighbors might be leaning away and the group may be turning away from the individual. They are basically avoiding them with body language, so you can tell they don't care for him or are threatened by him.

This is why when I approach I tend to not embrace the group, I sit neutral until their body language invites me into the conversation. Most of the time that is relatively quickly, it may even be one sentence. The point is to not confront a group but slip in neutrally. I will sit with my body language not pointed as if I need the group, but they tend to invite me into their conversations with ease. I stand neutral so it doesn't look threatening as if I am there for confrontation. I do walk straight into circles here and there but a lot of times I literally just slip into conversations neutrally.

Do I need to elaborate more?

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:49 pm 
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Thanks, I like it. find the last paragraph very interesting, as I'm having some trouble approaching groups. I usually tend to just slam myself right in there and grab all the attention at once. It's quite an unsensitive approach, and I think I need to improve it a lot. The times when I've found a situational opener to whoever in the group, I've managed to get in much more smoothly.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 8:17 pm 
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I just wrote this FR, and I feel that you should have a lot of the credit for it: here-vp385307.html#385307

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 6:59 am 
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Sweet man. I am glad this info is helping somebody. Love to hear if any of this stuff has been effective for anyone else. Let me know if there is anything that has done well I would love to hear it. I need to get back to writing some more on here. I have been trying to get this blog thing going for you guys, if anyone wants me to post anything let me know. I will say what I know if I do.

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