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| "Keeping the Love You Find" book review https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=141&t=167412 |
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| Author: | Chicoman69 [ Sat Aug 17, 2013 5:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | "Keeping the Love You Find" book review |
After I had a really nasty breakup when I first started with this community, I was recommended this book, "Keeping the Love You Find" by Harville Hendrix by a therapist/counselor at my college (university). I needed to understand why my life was a series of successes and failures as far as my love life went... I have read this book about 3 times now and I always seem to discover something new each time I practice the exercises within. Dr. Hendrix illustrates the Imago image, this is the ideal fantasy partner that our (un/sub)conscious mind tries to pair us up with. It has been some time since I read all the way through this guide, but I believe Keeping the Love Your Find can really help us regardless of what stage of Venusian Arts we are in. Polar opposites coming together for a symbiotic relationship(s) are strongly stressed in this book. What I mean by this is that Dr. Hendrix paints a picture of our feelings of love and hurts which stem from our infancy to adulthood in many different stages of growth in our life. He explains the way that we react to certain instances, we can either be a maximizer or a minimizer. To me, this means I go introverted (shy) or extroverted (outgoing) depending upon the situation. For those of you that studied Maslow, this information is truly golden as well. One of the stages that really stuck out to me was the "intimacy" stage of my life... In the intimacy stage, for example, maybe you see one of your parents and desire the need for affection. For me, usually this came in the form of a hug and/or approval from a parent(s). I'm not exactly sure how to explain it, but say you were not given the affection that you needed at that time... i.e. your loving parent(s) was too busy to give you a hug or worse, you were punished for bothering them perhaps during work. This may have made you feel like less of a person and you reacted by inwardly beating yourself up and getting shy, or maybe you went the opposite and outwardly exploded in an angry fit/tantrum. Another side of the coin, maybe your parent(s) smothered you with TOO much affection and either you felt trapped and try to push away from those feelings or you had a huge confidence boost due to your loved one paying attention to your needs for intimacy. There are several examples of this type of love that we found in family, friendship, and/or intimate (Imago) relationships. This book is full of complex psychological concepts, but is written in language that is easy to understand. I highly recommend you add this to your reading list. They have used copies on Amazon for a penny. The exercises in this read are truly remarkable in terms of understanding your inner and outer game in addition to the awareness that you really get a sense to why and how you are attracted to certain lovers based on your past and present experiences in addition to better preparing you for success and hurts in the future. This also made me more aware of the feelings and mindsets of other people that I care about. Rating 5 out of 5 |
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