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Building a social life from scratch.
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=136&t=44744		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  xibuz [ Thu May 07, 2009 7:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Building a social life from scratch.
Seeking advice on building a powerful social life from the ground up.

Obstacles are:

Living im my parents small apartment.

Taking public transit.

Receivng almost no phone calls and having no pics wth friends on myspace/fb.

Cannot access 21&over venues.

Deadpan tonality and facial expressions.
Author:  Memento [ Thu May 07, 2009 7:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
I would seriously consider a bootcamp.

- Memento
Author:  TRM [ Sat May 09, 2009 1:05 am ]
Post subject: 
get things rolling now

- go online
- go out and chat
- join groups
Author:  Chief [ Sat May 09, 2009 6:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I would seriously consider a bootcamp.

- Memento
Unfortunately, bootcamps from the major pickup companies are normally for people who are 21 and over since they actually GO TO the 21+ venues for the program.
Quote:
Living im my parents small apartment.
Do what you gotta do to pull your shit together and move out. Or just learn to work around that.
Quote:
Taking public transit.
That's not an obstacle. That's an opportunity to meet more people in order to become more socially connected, and to meet more women that you can do nasty things with.
Quote:
Receivng almost no phone calls and having no pics wth friends on myspace/fb.
Ignore this "obstacle." Live life in real life rather than caring about social networking over the internet.
Quote:
Cannot access 21&over venues.
Wait until you're 21 until you can get into 21+ venues. For now, explore the millions of other options out there, such as bookstores, shopping centers, cafes, extracurricular clubs, random-ass workshops, fitness classes like yoga, the gym, parks, beaches, sidewalks, boardwalks, rock concerts, rap concerts, classical symphony concerts, art galleries, museums, house parties, frat parties, crawfish boils, potlucks, BBQs, the workplace, other people's workplaces, tourist traps, fishing holes, standing in line, passing by lines, college campuses, cheap night time classes, local shows, talent shows, comedy shows, religious institutions, public squares, plazas, every store in the mall, the list goes on and on. You have so many opportunities that you wouldn't have time to eat or sleep if you took advantage of just half of them.
Quote:
Deadpan tonality and facial expressions.
Don't be afraid to feel. Explore your feminine side because that part of you is the master of opening up to emotions. Only once you freely feel emotions can you express them. Expressing freely flowing emotions is what leads to interesting and varied tonality and facial expressions.

Now that we've addressed your obstacles, think of at least ten good things that you've got going for you (or ten of your strengths) and post them here.
Author:  Giovanni420 [ Sat May 09, 2009 7:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Bro I'm in the same situation. I'm moving out to Arizona in a matter of weeks. My car is a 2004 lancer, and i have about 10k in savings...

But i know no one, and im not 21 yet... but in scottsdale there are fine girls, and my pick up skills can help create a social circle.
Author:  xibuz [ Sun May 10, 2009 4:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Author:  xibuz [ Sun May 10, 2009 4:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Author:  crazy1320 [ Thu May 14, 2009 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:  here
try joining a group

:x do not anger the great crazy1320 by only doing online socialising

i mean go to a gym, guitar lessons, education centers

these are areas people share a common intrest and can socialise

get a few male freinds (it does not matter if they are nerd or jocks as long as you are popular around them)

go to bars or nightclubs with your freinds show off be alpha but dont be a prick

AND DO NOT follow these online guides word for word they are just some rough guidelines let things happen naturally

happy huntung :lol:
Author:  Cotto [ Mon May 18, 2009 7:47 am ]
Post subject: 
I think your motivations in the right place dude, but when Im reading what you write, you sound almost like a robot. I dont say this to criticize, but if you want to be friends with somebody becuase it "adds social value" then you are going about life the wrong way. First, try to make some friends who you seriously enjoy spending time around. Never stop meeting new people, but don't do it to satisfy some invisible "social network" that may make some girl think you are "more worthy". Its all BS anyways.

I think your goals are good, but things should be natural and fun. Stay motivated, but seriously not everything is just about having higher "social value" to meet more women. IF thats the case, then I think there are other areas of your life that need work first; such as being able to enjoy yourself with a group of friends.
Author:  Cotto [ Mon May 18, 2009 7:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh, are you in Santa Monica? If so I used to work there and live a few miles South... right near the earthquake tonight :o
Author:  xibuz [ Wed May 20, 2009 7:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Socializing on the internet I find pretty much useless in regards to developing natural people skills. Because the whole spectrum of human interaction is 92% nonverbal, with text all you're doing is exchanging information with people. The percieved emotional context of your words and others responses can be very ambiguous without the body language and nonverbal context to go with it. The internet and texting is good for easily keeping in touch with people you interact with in person, because they already have a feel for what youre saying.

Online sarging tho doesn't appeal to me. I want to meet friends and fwbs throughout life as it happens, by getting my ass off the internet more. The internets are a great source of info, I can use the information overload to improve my life in every way but I can also get sucked into it. Even when I keep the drapes open so I don't whack off constantly, the internets can still be an addicting refuge for procrastinating on anything. Learning theory without practice.

Quote:
I think your motivations in the right place dude, but when Im reading what you write, you sound almost like a robot. I dont say this to criticize, but if you want to be friends with somebody becuase it "adds social value" then you are going about life the wrong way.
As forementioned, text carries much abiguity with it. The direct technical way I write is purposely to be objective and present ideas clearly and understandably through text. Although I do have the ablility to talk this way as well, like when Im talking to someone I really dont wanna talk to, or trying to communicate information with co-workers in order to carry out a task. Its not good for socializing.
Quote:
First, try to make some friends who you seriously enjoy spending time around. Never stop meeting new people, but don't do it to satisfy some invisible "social network" that may make some girl think you are "more worthy". Its all BS anyways.
Remember that this community is about achieving our higher self and living the lifestyle not just pickup alone. The two are inseperable I think.

Reason I want to learn social skills and build social circles is because its more FUN going out with your people than going out alone. You meet someone and their group of friends while you are offering them your group of friends as well. When going for a pickup alone, but coming from a life of social abundance my inner game will be more solid than coming from social lacking. Being a long time loner I give myself infinite social value and sense of fun. Nevertheless I feel like an extrovert living the life of and introvert, and progressing on the switch.
Quote:
I think your goals are good, but things should be natural and fun. Stay motivated, but seriously not everything is just about having higher "social value" to meet more women. IF thats the case, then I think there are other areas of your life that need work first; such as being able to enjoy yourself with a group of friends.
I had a few days to think before posting back, and actually found one major sticking point to address, one which can actually be the gateway into building a social life. It occured to me that I cant remember the last time I had an actual conversation with anyone. I talk to ppl quite normally aven acheiving rapport for a bit but just don't havent had any conversations. Its just like saying stuff to each other and only lasts a minute or 2.
Author:  Hacker [ Sun May 31, 2009 6:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Possible Fixes

- Grab some money and get out of the apartment for most of the day
- Socialize on the public transit (anywhere out of the house is a good place for sarging.)
- With the people you socialize with open, build attraction, build comfort, and plan another meeting, get their phone numbers and take (myspace.fb?) pictures
- There are many places like: the mall, restaurants, etc. to sarge
- Tonality a and expression... tricky.. maybe try saying words like: love, anger, happiness, sadness (basically anything) with the true meaning in the tonality and expression.... IDK.

Tips for your gaming:

- Show safety and trust
- Show you have a life, goals, standards
- Show you have something to offer DHV
- Understand her (commonalities)
- Show mysteriousness

GO GAME:
-OPEN
IOD
SHOW MYSTERIOUSNESS
-ATTRACT
SHOW YOU HAVE STANDARDS AND SOMETHING TO OFFER (DHV STORY)
IOI
-COMFORT
BUILD COMMONALITIES
GENERATE RAPPORT

HOPE THIS HELPS

-Hacker
Author:  Bandersnatch [ Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Bro I'm in the same situation. I'm moving out to Arizona in a matter of weeks. My car is a 2004 lancer, and i have about 10k in savings...

But i know no one, and im not 21 yet... but in scottsdale there are fine girls, and my pick up skills can help create a social circle.


im not 21, i just moved from my hometown where i lived for my whole life to orlando, i knew no one. i decided i wanted to become popular, go out and party and get girls, i am in highschool so it wasnt that hard, i just started becomeing the social center in pretty much all my classes, doing sports or clubs is a good way to meet more kids, and i became friends with attractive looking and semipopular people, all these things have brought me to wehre i am now, im pretty popular, alot alot of people know me, and ive been going to lots of parties, where i meet more people and practice being the social focal point of a group or the whole party, at parties or even convos at school i practice amonging other kids, and i just practice social shit like carrying on convos and ways to introducmyself to new people who i want to chill with, if you are inhigh school it is so easy to make alot of freinds, people will think your sweet if you do alot of funny shit or say funy shit, and if you can relate to them thats the best way to get popular and meet more people
Author:  Slowburner [ Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Socializing on the internet I find pretty much useless in regards to developing natural people skills. Because the whole spectrum of human interaction is 92% nonverbal, with text all you're doing is exchanging information with people. The percieved emotional context of your words and others responses can be very ambiguous without the body language and nonverbal context to go with it.

The internets and texting is good for easily keeping in touch with people you interact with IRL, cus they already sense your personality and can have a feel for what youre saying. Also for meeting friends of friends via profile posts and joining internet groups that get together IRL, like facebook events and on meetup.com.

Online sarging tho doesn't appeal to me. I'm a developing natural and renaissance man in progress; I want to meet friends and fwbs throughout life as it happens. In the streets of Santa Monica, at the beach, at parties, at fitness classes, at school, on hiking trails, at grocery stores and furniture galleries... anywhere. And this happens by getting my ass off the internet more. The internets are a great source of info, I can use the information overload to improve my life in every way but I can also get sucked into it. Even when I keep the drapes open so I don't fap, the internets can still be an addicting refuge for procrastinating on anything. Learning theory without practice. A half hour less online anyday could be a half hour more going out and exposing myself to real life social oppurtunity.

Quote:
I think your motivations in the right place dude, but when Im reading what you write, you sound almost like a robot. I dont say this to criticize, but if you want to be friends with somebody becuase it "adds social value" then you are going about life the wrong way.
As forementioned, text carries much abiguity with it. The direct technical way I write is purposely to be objective and present ideas clearly and understandably through text. Although I do have the ablility to talk this way as well, like when Im talking to someone I really dont wanna talk to, or trying to communicate information with co-workers in order to carry out a task. Its not good for socializing.
Quote:
First, try to make some friends who you seriously enjoy spending time around. Never stop meeting new people, but don't do it to satisfy some invisible "social network" that may make some girl think you are "more worthy". Its all BS anyways.
Remember that this community is about achieving our higher self and living the lifestyle not just pickup alone. The two are inseperable I think.

Reason I want to learn social skills and build social circles is because its more FUN going out with your people than going out alone. You meet someone and their group of friends while you are offering them your group of friends as well. When going for a pickup alone, but coming from a life of social abundance my inner game will be more solid than coming from social lacking. Being a long time loner I give myself infinite social value and sense of fun. Nevertheless I feel like an extrovert living the life of and introvert, and progressing on the switch.
Quote:
I think your goals are good, but things should be natural and fun. Stay motivated, but seriously not everything is just about having higher "social value" to meet more women. IF thats the case, then I think there are other areas of your life that need work first; such as being able to enjoy yourself with a group of friends.
I had a few days to think before posting back, and actually found one major sticking point to address, one which can actually be the gateway into building a social life. It occured to me that I cant remember the last time I had an actual conversation with anyone. I talk to ppl quite normally aven acheiving rapport for a bit but just don't havent had any conversations. Its just like saying stuff to each other and only lasts a minute or 2.

This is now where my focus is upon as Im about to get on 3 buses and go to work now. Have converstaions with people! On the bus, customers, employees, etc. Initiate conversation with ppl I enjoy being around and just enjoy myself around them... Sounds like a plan.
Interesting. I think most people find online far more liberating and easier to be cock funny sarcastic or whatever.
I think you should still persist with online as *part* of your strategy. I would use stuff like Meetup which aims just to get people together in real life. The main problems with the net are people just playing around and it's a bit of fun stringing people along (they have a boyfriend, they're married, they are not even female etc etc) You have to do a lot of filtering as there are so many girls wanting "online only" stuff and to be frank you're better off spending that time outside meeting real people. i have met a few girls from using the net but to be honest I question it's effectiveness.

Regarding facial expression and tonality. It maybe worth getting into some sort of theatre or acting group. I had and to some extent still do have that problem. When I was much younger one relationship crashed simply because the girl kept asking me if I was interested in different things and I was quite expressionless
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