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Now I dont know If its ok to show myself as I am, since art can be related to "soft, female" guys.
Would you consider Pablo Picasso a soft, female guy? Ernest Hemingway? Richard Burton?
What you are asking is "is it OK to be myself?". The answer is yes. Being someone else will kill you long term. How to do it? Take a look at the three guys I mention above and do what they did. Say "fuck it" to the world.
Sounds like you are struggling a bit with self-acceptance. I heartily recommend reading No More Mister Nice Guy by Robert Glover.