PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

I like direct game.. but its not really working for me
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=135&t=138441		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  JohnnyBananas [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  I like direct game.. but its not really working for me
Only one time since going direct have I continued the interaction for a long time (and that eventually went sour, but that's a different story), every other time I have gotten blown out usually.

I went into the deli today and saw this really cute blonde working. She was giving me the eye a bit, but there was a lot of people in the place ordering and she was working. As I'm waiting for my food she happen to be in the corner and to the side away from most of the people for a tiny bit. It might not have been that natural because I was thinking about it for a little bit beforehand, but at that opportunity I gave the 'fuck it!' and went ahead and approached.

"hey.. girl!... I know youre probably busy, but I have to say I think you are adorable.. like crazy adorable"

"Thank youuuu" ...

and I could tell she lost any interest she had. She kind of walked off after that.

Now, I haven't been practicing a lot, and maybe the 'crazy adorable' was a little too far, especially because I think my body language wasn't the greatest at that part..(head was a little down when I said that) but fuck! Why does this stuff, which is supposed to be simple, seem so hard sometimes?

I understand that looks aren't everything.. but man, I cannot believe that I still see chumps with some of these beautiful women and I can't seem to find one for me. I am a guy who is definitely more intelligent than a good portion of the public. I am really passionate about surfing, I like to snowboard, lift, I've mountain climbed. Oh yea, I go riding, paintball, I care about my future. I swim on the swim team at my college.

In general, I have a pretty packed lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I have hook ups here and there.. but that's about it. And most of that came from being in a fraternity last year. Now I am going to be ocean life guarding again this summer, and I don't want to add pressure to anything, but I do want to make stuff happen!

Are a lot of you guys going direct and its working? It's pissing me off that I can have some of these good looking girls eyeing me up, and then I'm not capitalizing on these opportunities. I'm holding myself back?

Thanks for any advice any of you can give me.

PS. Maybe because I kind of know what I am going to say..even though its 'direct'.. its still technically a 'routine'?
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I like direct game.. but its not really working for me
Quote:
Only one time since going direct have I continued the interaction for a long time (and that eventually went sour, but that's a different story), every other time I have gotten blown out usually.

I went into the deli today and saw this really cute blonde working. She was giving me the eye a bit, but there was a lot of people in the place ordering and she was working. As I'm waiting for my food she happen to be in the corner and to the side away from most of the people for a tiny bit. It might not have been that natural because I was thinking about it for a little bit beforehand, but at that opportunity I gave the 'fuck it!' and went ahead and approached.

"hey.. girl!... I know youre probably busy, but I have to say I think you are adorable.. like crazy adorable"

"Thank youuuu" ...

and I could tell she lost any interest she had. She kind of walked off after that.

Now, I haven't been practicing a lot, and maybe the 'crazy adorable' was a little too far, especially because I think my body language wasn't the greatest at that part..(head was a little down when I said that) but fuck! Why does this stuff, which is supposed to be simple, seem so hard sometimes?

I understand that looks aren't everything.. but man, I cannot believe that I still see chumps with some of these beautiful women and I can't seem to find one for me. I am a guy who is definitely more intelligent than a good portion of the public. I am really passionate about surfing, I like to snowboard, lift, I've mountain climbed. Oh yea, I go riding, paintball, I care about my future. I swim on the swim team at my college.

In general, I have a pretty packed lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I have hook ups here and there.. but that's about it. And most of that came from being in a fraternity last year. Now I am going to be ocean life guarding again this summer, and I don't want to add pressure to anything, but I do want to make stuff happen!

Are a lot of you guys going direct and its working? It's pissing me off that I can have some of these good looking girls eyeing me up, and then I'm not capitalizing on these opportunities. I'm holding myself back?

Thanks for any advice any of you can give me.

PS. Maybe because I kind of know what I am going to say..even though its 'direct'.. its still technically a 'routine'?
If you still have any comment on looks you got some things to learn. The value of someones attraction can be a number of things: Looks, social value, economic value, type, personality(confidence, good sense of humor), smell, and movement. Anyone of those things can make a woman attracted to a man. Normally a man that doesn't meet the correct value physically meets it in other ways.

Your language pattern is extremely submissive. Stop using the word I so much, that is a sign of a beta male.

"hey.. girl!... I know youre probably busy, but I have to say I think you are adorable.. like crazy adorable"

You need to also leave room for her to talk.

Revised: "Hey girl, you look busy, just felt obligated to come introduce myself. You look adorable, I'm Victor."

Then reach out to extend your hand for a welcoming hand shake and she will say her name. You just assume she will introduce herself and she almost always will.

I highly recommend going with a compliment if you want to go direct. That doesn't mean to walk up and say "I like your shoes." It's about learning to give a good compliment. This means learning to give the why with the compliment as well as say it differently.

"Love your choice on the kicks, the color compliments your outfit perfectly."

If you don't have the body language nothing you say will work, anytime you place a woman above you with your body language she will agree with you. If you don't show confidence in yourself why should she confidence in you. A woman can tell whether you are high value by the value you assign yourself, so you need to change your mind to have high confidence and value.

If you'd like you can click my alpha video in my signature that should help with your body language as far as showing confidence.

Now on to your approach body language, it shouldn't be to direct body language wise, your body language should be nonthreatening to go with your confidence. This is an article I wrote on the body language you should have when approaching a woman http://showyourmind.wordpress.com/2012/ ... -approach/ . Here is a article I wrote about The Perfect pick up body language wise http://showyourmind.wordpress.com/2012/ ... t-pick-up/ , so you don't end up over responsive.

Note: Nothing cost money dude, I'm not here to pedal useless gimmicks. So don't think that I'm trying to sell shit.

There are also some articles on opening women and complimenting if you need any help. There is also an article on what makes a man attractive. I don't want to post any more links because I don't want to pollute the forum.

And yes you are holding yourself back with a poor approach, you are illustrating yourself poorly to start and while you can recover from a bad approach, you better have some game. Fix your body language, your opening needs to have more you's than I's in it and needs to evoke a response that isn't just thanks or thank you. It's not hard to capitalize on attraction with a decent opening but you do need to make it interesting, not the same as the last 10 guys who tried talking to her.
Author:  JohnnyBananas [ Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:52 am ]
Post subject: 
I understand about looks.. just still kind of blows my mind that I have this many things going for me, AND i'm not that bad looking, and yet I struggle. It's like.. damn, those guys really are that good eh? I guess I need to work on how I view myself in terms of value.

Interesting comments about the "I". Thanks for that, and for the rest of your post; it was helpful. I'll be sure to read those links as well and apply it.

Thanks again! Cheers
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Sat Jun 16, 2012 6:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I understand about looks.. just still kind of blows my mind that I have this many things going for me, AND i'm not that bad looking, and yet I struggle. It's like.. damn, those guys really are that good eh? I guess I need to work on how I view myself in terms of value.

Interesting comments about the "I". Thanks for that, and for the rest of your post; it was helpful. I'll be sure to read those links as well and apply it.

Thanks again! Cheers
Well your attractiveness can be related to your looks but it more directly is related to your value: personality, economic, social, type, or physical. Your high value view of yourself isn't bad, but you need to value different things. If you consider yourself attractive move on to the next process, learning to build a connection, and then sexual escalation(the most difficult part). After you master all 3 you'll be able to get women with ease.
Author:  chrish [ Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I like direct game.. but its not really working for me
Quote:

Now, I haven't been practicing a lot
Your only issue.

If you keep going out and opening more than one set (chatting with guys & flirting with girls), you will see marked improvement.

If you can only do day game I have a challenge for you, find a buddy and go for a walk at a busy center. Enjoy your company, have a fun time, and start talking to random people, involving them in the fun time your having (and if you get bored have fun being bored). start making talking to random dudes, most of them will be cool with you (for real). And if you find sexy girls, let them know and own your opinion; You know they're sexy and so do they, so let them know and test them to see if they have any other traits you like. Personally I always ask if girls are psychic; I LOVE psychic girls but they're kind of a rare find LOL.

But make sure you have fun. If it sucks the first time don't quit like a lil' bitch :wink: Doing this will make you more comfortable with the approach, and your direct approaches will become more fun, conversational, and natural.

Let me know how you do bro.

Tone*
Author:  debovnik [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:11 am ]
Post subject: 
direct needs to be done with the right vibe

Low energy and sincere with a straight face

Also, go for the close right away - I want you to come with me

In fact, dont bother with the compliment. Go for the close.
Author:  JohnnyBananas [ Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:23 am ]
Post subject: 
All great responses. Thanks for all your helps guys, I will definitely try to learn from and apply what you guys said
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
direct needs to be done with the right vibe

Low energy and sincere with a straight face

Also, go for the close right away - I want you to come with me

In fact, dont bother with the compliment. Go for the close.
I respectfully disagree. A smile is the most attractive face you can have. It adds comfort, however when you go to make your statement you go to a smirk or straight face.

I like direct but the more direct you are the later in the night it should be. You do not go that direct during day game cold, it's going to far to fast. You'd do better to put in some time and build the attraction, if you've made some strong eye contact and built something before you can go direct but you better read her well or you are wasting your time.

The compliment helps build attraction and comfort, even connection if you compliment the thing that means most to her(necklace, bracelet, glasses, etc.) because of emotional attachment.
Author:  sika [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 9:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think you are both right, it is all about timing. smile first then shift to straight face with softened eyes for seduction during the convo.
Author:  On A Rampage [ Mon Jul 02, 2012 7:38 am ]
Post subject: 
I stopped reading after the 'Crazy adorable' part.

All you have to say is "Hey", if she says "hey" back thats a good IOI and you can ask how she is. Keep the conversation short and make sure YOU end the conversation. Come back another day and do the same except this time just ask if she'd like to have a coffee. Trying to hard looks bad. Being casual and friendly will work alot better.
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Mon Jul 02, 2012 7:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I stopped reading after the 'Crazy adorable' part.

All you have to say is "Hey", if she says "hey" back thats a good IOI and you can ask how she is. Keep the conversation short and make sure YOU end the conversation. Come back another day and do the same except this time just ask if she'd like to have a coffee. Trying to hard looks bad. Being casual and friendly will work alot better.
Hey back is an IOI? Wow! just saying you may be incredibly off on this. That is like saying if they you yawn and they yawn they are interested in you. If you smile and they smile they are interested. Humans are sheep, mirrors really, we tend to reflect the behavior of the person in front of us. If you say "hey" they will likely say "hey" or "hi" back, just saying you are pretty ridiculous if you consider that and IOI.

I say "hi" to old women all the time does this mean I'm attracted? Stop saying bull shit, hi doesn't equal interest, go out and ask 100 women whether a woman rebutting with hey means she is interested.

I do agree with the crazy adorable, it's also hard to take anyone seriously if they are too lazy or arrogant to read the entire post. Come on man, stop with the self interest, if you want to help read the post, if not don't post shit.
Author:  On A Rampage [ Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
I stopped reading after the 'Crazy adorable' part.

All you have to say is "Hey", if she says "hey" back thats a good IOI and you can ask how she is. Keep the conversation short and make sure YOU end the conversation. Come back another day and do the same except this time just ask if she'd like to have a coffee. Trying to hard looks bad. Being casual and friendly will work alot better.
Hey back is an IOI? Wow! just saying you may be incredibly off on this. That is like saying if they you yawn and they yawn they are interested in you. If you smile and they smile they are interested. Humans are sheep, mirrors really, we tend to reflect the behavior of the person in front of us. If you say "hey" they will likely say "hey" or "hi" back, just saying you are pretty ridiculous if you consider that and IOI.

I say "hi" to old women all the time does this mean I'm attracted? Stop saying bull shit, hi doesn't equal interest, go out and ask 100 women whether a woman rebutting with hey means she is interested.

I do agree with the crazy adorable, it's also hard to take anyone seriously if they are too lazy or arrogant to read the entire post. Come on man, stop with the self interest, if you want to help read the post, if not don't post shit.
hahaha are you mad breh?
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I stopped reading after the 'Crazy adorable' part.

All you have to say is "Hey", if she says "hey" back thats a good IOI and you can ask how she is. Keep the conversation short and make sure YOU end the conversation. Come back another day and do the same except this time just ask if she'd like to have a coffee. Trying to hard looks bad. Being casual and friendly will work alot better.
Hey back is an IOI? Wow! just saying you may be incredibly off on this. That is like saying if they you yawn and they yawn they are interested in you. If you smile and they smile they are interested. Humans are sheep, mirrors really, we tend to reflect the behavior of the person in front of us. If you say "hey" they will likely say "hey" or "hi" back, just saying you are pretty ridiculous if you consider that and IOI.

I say "hi" to old women all the time does this mean I'm attracted? Stop saying bull shit, hi doesn't equal interest, go out and ask 100 women whether a woman rebutting with hey means she is interested.

I do agree with the crazy adorable, it's also hard to take anyone seriously if they are too lazy or arrogant to read the entire post. Come on man, stop with the self interest, if you want to help read the post, if not don't post shit.
hahaha are you mad breh?
Because I'm the one with fingers to my head in a suicidal manner pointed at my head(not that you look at all suicidal). And yes as someone who has studied behaviors we do tend to reflect the behavior given to us from the type of smile they give to the one we reflect (polite tight lip smile between strangers). We reflect behavior and most people aren't rude enough to ignore a hey.

Just saying.... You may need to learn more about people before making statements regarding attraction.
Author:  On A Rampage [ Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:

hahaha are you mad breh?
Because I'm the one with fingers to my head in a suicidal manner pointed at my head(not that you look at all suicidal). And yes as someone who has studied behaviors we do tend to reflect the behavior given to us from the type of smile they give to the one we reflect (polite tight lip smile between strangers). We reflect behavior and most people aren't rude enough to ignore a hey.

Just saying.... You may need to learn more about people before making statements regarding attraction.
What does my avatar having his fingers pointed towards his head have ANYTHING to do with what we're talking about? :?

Are you qualifying yourself to me by giving yourself value? loooool

If I smile at a girl as I walk into a bar and she smiles back thats an IOI. If I walk past a girl in a bar and say 'hey' and she returns 'hey' back thats an IOI. I find it funny for someone who supposedly studies human behaviour to dismiss these small signs. Keep trying kiddo :roll:
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Thu Jul 05, 2012 5:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

bahahah you still sound mad mate. Is everything ok? As someone who has studied human behaviour you would know that fingers pointed to the head would NOT indicate anger. lol. I find it hilarious that you think that's me in my AV lol and even bring it into discussion haha.

How do you know that I haven't studied human behaviour? Don't assume buddy, it will just make you look like an ass ;)

I beleive that yes, if someone smiles back or says 'hey' back that that is an IOI. Wether they are being friendly or not it IS an indicator of interest. Not every IOI needs to be one where it involves f-closing, k-closing #-closing. No need to get butt hurt kiddo. Sounds like you need to walk before you can run ;)
LOL Pretty Lame that I agree. I was just bull shitting on the avatar, I don't really care. Sorry about it seeming like a personal attack. Anger is not the only form of suicide, sadness, pain, and fear are also forms of motivation for suicide. I didn't even mention anger. Even curiosity has caused suicide attempts.

Why would you possibly consider a friendly hi and smile an IOI? I hate the term IOI anyways, there are signs of attraction and friendly behavior. Friendly behavior happens between two strangers as a general part of acceptable public human behavior. It'd be horrible for you spread such a rumor to these kids, learn more before you post more.

Your information is not of someone who has studied human behavior or you would have pointed out both context (rude not to say hey) and the fact that behavior is mirrored. When you smile they smile. Your information shows a very limited if any study of human behavior. My assumption is unfortunately easily formed(and true) off of your poor information.

Again someone saying hi back is not showing an indicator of interest, if she says hi and gives a RUDE smile is it showing interest? NO. It's a part of general public acceptable behavior to act that way. I would look for more of the look down(submissive behavior) and small preen(adjustments in appearance/bringing attention to appearance) to show interest than a smile and a hi. Body language is all about the full picture not 1-2 itty bitty signal like the word hi and smile. It could be a fake smile, and the hi tone could be horrible.

Everything is all about an overall read of the behavior not just one or two parts to it.
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/