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Help needed! Gaming my old flat mate's friend
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Author:  enigma_7 [ Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:15 am ]
Post subject:  Help needed! Gaming my old flat mate's friend
Hey guys,
Really need some guidance please. Okay so there is this girl I know who used to be my flate mate's housemate. I've only seen her a handful of times and she had a bf at the time. Anyway, i messaged her on facebook a few days back. We didnt chat long but she asked me to text her my number. So i did the next day. We started texting and a few texts later i suggested we should meetup. She then says she has to work on her dissertation for the next two weeks and cant have any fun. I text back saying "im sure one night off wouldnt hurt". To which she laughed at said "alright, i'll let you know IF i think i deserve it". I feel like thats a blow off. What do you guys think? Should i text her again about it?

I was thinking of sending something like "i think someone deserves a night off ;)" in a day or two. What do you think?

Really appreciate any help here guys

- enigma 7[/url]
Author:  einherjar22 [ Wed Aug 03, 2011 10:16 am ]
Post subject: 
id say thats perfect.
Author:  enigma_7 [ Wed Aug 03, 2011 10:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks mate, wasn't sure if it sounded too needy or pushy.
Im hoping that I won't have to use it though!
Author:  einherjar22 [ Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:01 am ]
Post subject: 
it was sutle and not to informal. just what you need.
Author:  Jerry Green [ Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Personally, I would telegraph even less interest. By saying she deserves a night off, it is implying that you want to see her at night (obviously this demonstrates that you are the more needy one in this relationship). Instead, telegraph less interest by disguising your text as a mass text saying "Hey guys, a few of us are going to Arnold's tonight, stop over for some drinks." This will subcommunicate the fact that you have an active lifestyle, that you are possibly seeing other women, and that you want to include her in your active lifestyle (an IOI, but less than if you were to be texting only her directly).

If you do end up texting "I think someone deserves a night out," and she flakes on you or says no, respond back "I was talking about myself, going out to Jack's tonight. Have fun tonight loser." Or send some form of IOD calibrator.

Hope this helps bro
Author:  enigma_7 [ Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Jerry - thanks for your input man, much appreciated. What you said makes a lot of sense bro. So your saying i should pretend im texting several people and just text her? What if she agrees to this "fake night out"? How do i get out of that so its just me and her going out?


- enigma 7
Author:  Jerry Green [ Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
No worries. Yeah, exactly. I have found (personally) that the easiest way to invite a girl out that I'm interested in without telegraphing clear interest is to disguise a mass text. This limits the chance of rejection and may subcommunicate good things about you to her.

If you do send a disguised mass text and she does agree, don't worry about the "fake night out," she is clearly interested in you and will (usually, not 100% of the time but probably 90%) not care if you end up saying your friends couldn't make it. Additionally, you can say your friends are not coming but that you guys will meet new friends there (future adventure projection).

However if you want to avoid this all together, you can actually send out a mass text to your friends and actually go out and do something. If she comes, great, if not, you're at least not being a tool and doing nothing.
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