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How do I generate rapport with this girl?
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Author:  Storm2166 [ Wed Jan 19, 2011 4:21 am ]
Post subject:  How do I generate rapport with this girl?

Hey guys, I really need help with generating a good connection here.

I met a girl at a party my group and I went to. She's about 3-4 years older than me (I'm 21, she's 25) and she's unbelievably shy. I really had no idea how to game her, other than a few comments here and there and DHVing through my social status with our group. Somehow (I was pretty drunk), we ended up dancing together, and another night, we ended up making out for a good while. For some strange reason I can't put my finger on, I really like this girl. That, and no matter how bad my game is, she still seems into me. We always end up cuddling or kissing at some point in the night, and we've gone further as well, but we haven't had sex yet. I cannot for the life of me figure out what she sees in me. My game really fumbles when I'm around her. Despite that, I've managed to get beyond attraction and am now trying to get through the comfort phase.

Anyway, she's really throwing me through a loop. Sometimes she pulls away and seems uncomfortable with touching me, sometimes she seems like she likes it and sometimes she even initiates. Whenever she pulls away, I let her go and relax and keep talking, and she'll usually re-initiate shortly after. She also suggested we watch a movie together and go dancing sometime. It's so early (about 2 weeks since we met) that I can't tell if she's losing interest or not. The last time we hung out, it was to go swimming at this hotel with a few of her older friends that I didn't know. I was really nervous and it showed, badly. Despite this, she still kissed me goodbye and agreed to go dancing with me this weekend. We haven't had any contact in about 2 days.

I've never been in a relationship before so I don't really know what to expect. I have no idea what to do with this girl. Do I try for a day 2 at a coffee shop sometime this week? Should I take her up on that movie? Or should I just wait until this weekend when we go dancing or out to party? Should I be calling or texting her, or should I just leave her alone until we're going to see each other again? That, and I have no idea what to talk to her about. She's usually easy to talk to alone or if she's been drinking, but she is really quiet and soft spoken in group settings. Not very easy to generate a lot of rapport with.

Now, I'm a former shy guy myself. I'm still a bit shy, but I've mostly worked out of it and I can pretty much talk to anyone. I just find myself at a loss for words sometimes one-on-one if I don't know someone very well (unless they give me something to work with, which she doesn't give much of). I can also usually read people pretty well, but she is really hard to figure out. Specifically, I can't figure out whether her sometimes distant behavior is because she is so timid and really likes me, or if I'm starting to weird her out with my own nervousness.

I'd like to make it work with her. I know I'm probably overthinking the shit out of this, but even if I'm starting to get one-itis, I really think I should take this and run with it until she breaks it off just for my own experience. If anyone can help me figure out what to do next, I'd really appreciate it.

Author:  greykitkat36 [ Wed Jan 19, 2011 6:45 am ]
Post subject: 

She sounds into you, despite your fuck-ups. This is good. Next time you get any opportunity to hang out, whether it be she asks you or vice versa, you need to escalate. Get the topic of conversation to a sexual place, and remain calm. Remember, you're the man and she already likes you. No need to feel uncomfortable. Just ask her to hang out with you at a bar or something, talk a bit, get a little buzzed and put your arm around her, just keep taking it to the next level.

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