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After LJBF - Will Have Problems Disappearing
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Author:  adonis_boy [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 11:50 am ]
Post subject:  After LJBF - Will Have Problems Disappearing
It's the same story, there is this girl, very high attraction at first but LJBF's me in the end because of lack of escalation and confusions on both part.

I was LJBF'd yesterday and we came across on the street on the same evening of the phone call. She was riding home with her bike. I was walking to my apartment. She seemed enthusiastic to see me. I said "Hey, are you here to ride me home with your bike?" and used cocky and funny a little. She responded positively. The LJBF thing was very fresh so it looked like she was nervous. She could not look at my face as she was talking but contrarily, I found myself very confident and calm while talking to her. As we were leaving, she said "It was nice to meet you tonight." meaning "It was nice to come across you." and I teased her about it and said "Oh, it was nice to meet you too.. Erm, what was your name again?". She didn't get my joke and tried to explain herself with a nervous voice. I said Bye but she was still trying to explain what that meant. It was weird actually.

Now I know that best of course of action to take is to disappear if I want a comeback. However, we have the same group of friends and it is very unlikely that we won't come across at parties or pubnights every week. It also looked like teasing her at this stage seems to offend her more than attracting. What is the best way to act if we come across again?
Author:  stuckupcurlyguy [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 1:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
You don't have to actually disappear, just not give her "interest" for a month or more. This just means doing what hot girls do to over-eager guys - not initiating contact, answering questions with a single phrase, concentrating on other people etc. etc.

Go after other girls to get your confidence up and after a while of being ignored she might start actually pursuing you like you were pursuing her! If she does, slowly let her do it and then go for it a second time. This worked for me this year.

If she doesn't and you're not going out with anyone else in a month or two of branching out, then you can game her again. Just don't screw it up this time.

If there was a lot of attraction at first, she'll eventually remember that and become nostalgic. When you're getting back in with her, make fun of other guys and even yourself in the past. This will help convince her that you're not like other guys, and that you've changed and become more cool :). But hey you might find someone else you like more than this girl and you should definitely try that for a while. Who knows she might even change her mind quickly and decide she doesn't want to be just friends. Don't push her now, though, it will only turn her off.

Good luck :).
Author:  adonis_boy [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 5:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You don't have to actually disappear, just not give her "interest" for a month or more. This just means doing what hot girls do to over-eager guys - not initiating contact, answering questions with a single phrase, concentrating on other people etc. etc.

Go after other girls to get your confidence up and after a while of being ignored she might start actually pursuing you like you were pursuing her! If she does, slowly let her do it and then go for it a second time. This worked for me this year.

If she doesn't and you're not going out with anyone else in a month or two of branching out, then you can game her again. Just don't screw it up this time.

If there was a lot of attraction at first, she'll eventually remember that and become nostalgic. When you're getting back in with her, make fun of other guys and even yourself in the past. This will help convince her that you're not like other guys, and that you've changed and become more cool :). But hey you might find someone else you like more than this girl and you should definitely try that for a while. Who knows she might even change her mind quickly and decide she doesn't want to be just friends. Don't push her now, though, it will only turn her off.

Good luck :).
Hey, thanks for the advice. It sounds good.

She seemed very disappointed with my last joke about "nice to meet you" stuff. Do you think her saying that was an IOI and I screwed it up by making fun of her?
Author:  stuckupcurlyguy [ Mon Nov 22, 2010 2:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ha well I'm not sure it's the best advice but it worked for me.

I don't think the last joke was a big deal, she just didn't get it. You could bring up the situation later if you wanted and joke about it.

What do you mean there was high attraction but then she LJBF'ed you? Could you describe the circumstances?
Author:  adonis_boy [ Mon Nov 22, 2010 9:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Ha well I'm not sure it's the best advice but it worked for me.

I don't think the last joke was a big deal, she just didn't get it. You could bring up the situation later if you wanted and joke about it.

What do you mean there was high attraction but then she LJBF'ed you? Could you describe the circumstances?
Sure, here's a summary.

I played the game right, she was hots for me. Then I failed and turned into an AFC. We could not have a proper date and always had to meet at the parties and since there wasn't enough comfort, I could not escalate. Then she LJBF'd me.
Author:  stuckupcurlyguy [ Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Fair enough, that's sort of what happened to me as well. It happens to everyone - we get our expectations up and then we act too needy or she loses the attraction on her own.

You're right, you would need more time alone and comfort to escalate. By allowing yourself to go after other girls you're communicating that you're okay with it not working out this time around, and you're not going to get bogged down by one little fuck up that happened in your life. If you still want her in a couple months, try asking her on a more intimate date, like a coffee run or something, where it's just you two, to "catch up". Then you can really get to know one another, haha!
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