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No K-close @ 18
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Author:  joenyftw [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:10 pm ]
Post subject:  No K-close @ 18
Ok, the deal is I recently 18 and am yet to kiss a girl. This shit is seriously impeding my ability to make any sort of decent progress with a chick and is fucking around with my life.

I can flirt+kino easily wit no problems and build strong attraction, but then whenever I have the opportunity to kiss her I back down and my ego begins to fall apart, I basically pussy out and stop showing interest in her, so as to avoid stepping out of my comfort zone I guess.

I think because its relatively uncommon to be 18 and not having kissed, I just don't want to go there and take that dangerous step...especially because when i'm actually gaming a girl it would appear as if I have a lot experience, i'm kind of worried that if I try and kiss her ill fuck it up and she'll notice the inconsistency.

anyway whatever, just venting I guess... if anyone is (or was) in the same shitty situation i'd love to hear about it

cheers
Author:  JSmooth [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: No K-close @ 18
Quote:
Ok, the deal is I recently 18 and am yet to kiss a girl. This shit is seriously impeding my ability to make any sort of decent progress with a chick and is fucking around with my life.

I can flirt+kino easily wit no problems and build strong attraction, but then whenever I have the opportunity to kiss her I back down and my ego begins to fall apart, I basically pussy out and stop showing interest in her, so as to avoid stepping out of my comfort zone I guess.

I think because its relatively uncommon to be 18 and not having kissed, I just don't want to go there and take that dangerous step...especially because when i'm actually gaming a girl it would appear as if I have a lot experience, i'm kind of worried that if I try and kiss her ill fuck it up and she'll notice the inconsistency.

anyway whatever, just venting I guess... if anyone is (or was) in the same shitty situation i'd love to hear about it

cheers
The mind is a powerful thing. It can seriously cause you pain, even though no one is hurting you. It can cause your body to become sick, or even heal you. The mind is a powerful thing and can really mess you up in field or help you.

Here is the thing...I have coached guys older than you (21, 24, and 25) that have also never kissed a girl. For various reasons it just didn't happen for them. It can happen for you and it will! Let me say that once more, "It can happen for you and it will!"

Keep in mind all this is in your head and you know that. Your own limiting belief that is keeping you from your goal is that you'll kiss a girl, screw up, and she will react negatively to it. Well at one time you probably feared approaching for a similar reason. At one time you probably feared riding your bike because you'd screw up and get hurt. It's just another hurdle in life man that you can get past.

Just like the little kid learning to ride a bike without training wheels for the first time. You fall and you get hurt. Then you don't want to ride anymore. But someone helped you dust yourself off, wipe the tears away, and sent you on your marry way. That's what I'm doing now.

Also consider this. Even if you do screw up at least you'll have that first kiss out of the way so you can go forth and be a great kisser! Keep in mind kissing isn't a big deal say to a one night stand. Don't make it out to be a big deal in your mind. Try to view it level with hugging your family when you see them. Tell yourself you deserve it, and it's not a big deal. Don't just think it believe it... and it will happen!

~Jon
Author:  joenyftw [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks man. Ironically enough, i'd feel less awkward jumping straight to the sex and skipping the kiss.

Its weird, I think i've deluded myself into believing that because of its intimacy, kissing is some complex art-form or something and I just don't want to fuck it up, I want to perfect it.

Another thing is, I don't when the right time to initiate a kiss is because I've never been through it.

But yeah, I know what I have to do. Problem is, like you said it, in my mind i've made it a bigger hurdle than it actually is. The longer I leave it, the worse it will get :oops: .
Author:  JSmooth [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Thanks man. Ironically enough, i'd feel less awkward jumping straight to the sex and skipping the kiss.

Its weird, I think i've deluded myself into believing that because of its intimacy, kissing is some complex art-form or something and I just don't want to fuck it up, I want to perfect it.

Another thing is, I don't when the right time to initiate a kiss is because I've never been through it.

But yeah, I know what I have to do. Problem is, like you said it, in my mind i've made it a bigger hurdle than it actually is. The longer I leave it, the worse it will get :oops: .
When to intiate a kiss... this I can help with. I got your back bro! Alright when you are with a girl and you two are getting close cuddlign or whatever. When you look at the girl you are looking for one thing. That is called the "Triangle Gaze." Men and women naturally do this when they want to kiss someone.

When you are close you will see the girl look into your eyes, then down to your lips, then back to your eyes. It just takes a moment but many times girls will do this more than once. You are close and they are anticipating the kiss. When you see that no need to say anything just lean in and get your prize! :) It's really that easy.

Now you are armed and dangerous...go get 'em tiger!
Author:  Bormad [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
D. Angelo also refers to it as like a dog when a girl is kissing you. Even before you kiss her you may notice she licks her lips which is a great sign!
Author:  adam emre [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
i just thought i'd throw in my advice, the easiest place to k-close is on the dance floor, literlaly when they look at you smiling after kino pull her in by her hand close and do it suddenly

you don't have to worry too much about being good, just be confident when going in because a lot of girls at 18 aren't good kissers at all !
Author:  SSN [ Sat Jan 09, 2010 5:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
I went a couple of years without kissing a girl. I started early then faded somewhat.

Anyway, what really got my confidence levels back up was my wingman. He upped my confidence and pushed me when I had approach anxiety.

If you don't already have one you should really try to get one. It's really a huge asset.

As for the first kiss... It will happen, and once it does you'll see that it just becomes second nature, or it did for me anyway.

Good luck!
Author:  antasm [ Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: No K-close @ 18
Three solutions:

1) get a book on reading people. A good indicator a girl wants a kiss is if you're making eye contact and her eyes dart back and forth quickly between the two of yours. If you belive she is sending a yes signal, it will make you more confident.

or you can

2) Stop pussying out. If you've done everything right she's waiting for you to kiss her. If you read her wrong she'll just turn her head and let you kiss her cheek. She's not gonna slap you or pull away and go "EW!"

or finally if 1 and 2 don't work, do what men have been doing for ages, take some liquid courage. Though this is not recommended because you don't want to use it as a crutch.
Author:  JSmooth [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: No K-close @ 18
Quote:
or finally if 1 and 2 don't work, do what men have been doing for ages, take some liquid courage. Though this is not recommended because you don't want to use it as a crutch.
Really?!? :? Sure, it might get him the results for one night but he'll always know he didn't do it on his own that it was the alcohol that helped him. This one he needs to do on his own, and he's perfectly capable of it. I know you're just trying to help but come on man really...drinking?!?
Author:  antasm [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: No K-close @ 18
Quote:
Really?!? :? Sure, it might get him the results for one night but he'll always know he didn't do it on his own that it was the alcohol that helped him. This one he needs to do on his own, and he's perfectly capable of it. I know you're just trying to help but come on man really...drinking?!?
yea.. guess it's not the best way to go, just trying to come up with ideas to get him over the "hump".
Author:  Trent Steel [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 6:46 pm ]
Post subject:  K-closing
So before you K-close, I thought I'd bring up the point that depending on where you are/what you are doing, the method, although maintaining the same general structure, will differ slightly depending on the environment.

In a club SPAM, just keep the interest level high, throw in some negs and see if she bites back, then escalate kino. Test her comfort level by pulling away for a bit as you escalate kino and gauge her reaction. You can even try kino negs, such as pushing her hand/arm/body away or distancing yourself to get her to follow (Note: this is separate from isolation). Finally, look for one of a few things. 1) The "triangle gaze," as described above. 2)The girl physically responding to the kino (i.e. reciprocation) 3) The girl jumping back to you after negs. 4) The girl sending you IOIs. These four are listed in order of importance. If either of the first two appear, you're pretty much golden for a kiss. Go in for it bro! If either of the second two appear, you just need to build up attraction a bit more, then one of the first two should appear soon.

There's a special type of close that most people don't pay much attention to, but I've explored. It's the couch close. Keep in mind that this can be a couch ANYWHERE: the club, a lobby (day game), or someone's house. Note that on a couch, body position and kino are both limited. To solve this, I try to use the "couch position." Angle your body towards the girl, one arm up on the back of the couch, but don't touch her with your hand AT FIRST. That comes second. First, due to your body's angling you can move your leg against hers. Next comes the hand, but only for a brief moment, because then you need to throw a heavy neg her way. Get up. Off the couch. Get something - like a drink or your phone - that you left on a nearby table. Then sit back on the couch in the same position, though toned down a bit (less kino). This will cause the girl to want to return to the same level of kino, provided she's interested. Thus, both indicators 2 and 3 (see above paragraph) will be accomplished in the SAME MOVE. In a relaxed SPAM, I sometimes try the "induced lean" here. This is when you sit back down and lean away from the girl, which causes her to lean closer. Either way, look for the triangle gaze on top of all this, and within a minute or two of sitting back down you should probably be able to get the close.

Best of luck bro.
Author:  StandOut [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 9:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
almost the same here man... im 17, and when it comes to flirting and confidence, for the most part i exude an abundance (for the senior titles, people are saying that i should win "most swagger" lol, that made my day!). but ive never kissed a girl in my life, and whenever i do have an opportunity i subconciously, yet purposefully, fuck it up. ive gotten to the point where im just gonna get with some low end hb7s to get some practice and get it out of the way...

anyway, good luck man
Author:  wonderbeard [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 9:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
I could barely talk to girls that I had crushes on when I was eighteen, let alone had I kissed anyone. When you stop worrying, thinking, and stressing about it is when it becomes much easier.
Author:  JohnnyT [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
I didn't get my first til 17, and even then it was initiated by her, being the AFC that I was I thought she was madly in love with me etc etc :lol: .. But yeah, don't stress about it so much, it will happen. Whenever I'm with a girl that I want to kiss, in my head I'll be like, 'look, you'll regret it later if you don't go for it'. That sometimes helps. The phrase 'only regret the things you haven't done' comes to mind..
Author:  veryrandomness [ Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm in exactly this position too! I've built it up for so long cause I haven't kissed in a year...gonna get with some random 7s and 8s for practice i think. The first will be the hardest
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